安徒生童话-第8部分

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〃Heaven　help　us！〃　cried　the　boy　at　the　helm；　as　the　boat　heeledover　and　lay　on　its　beam　ends。　It　had　struck　on　a　rock；　which　rosefrom　the　depths　of　the　sea；　and　sank　at　once；　like　an　old　shoe　in　apuddle。　〃It　sank　at　once　with　mouse　and　man；〃　as　the　saying　is。There　might　have　been　mice　on　board；　but　only　one　man　and　a　half；the　skipper　and　the　laborer's　boy。　No　one　saw　it　but　the　skimmingsea…gulls　and　the　fishes　beneath　the　water；　and　even　they　did　notsee　it　properly；　for　they　darted　back　with　terror　as　the　boat　filledwith　water　and　sank。　There　it　lay；　scarcely　a　fathom　below　thesurface；　and　those　two　were　provided　for；　buried；　and　forgotten。　Theglass　with　the　foot　of　blue　wood　was　the　only　thing　that　did　not　sink；for　the　wood　floated　and　the　glass　drifted　away　to　be　cast　upon　theshore　and　broken；　where　and　when；　is　indeed　of　no　consequence。　Ithad　served　its　purpose；　and　it　had　been　loved；　which　Anne　Lisbeth'sboy　had　not　been。　But　in　heaven　no　soul　will　be　able　to　say；　〃Neverloved。〃

Anne　Lisbeth　had　now　lived　in　the　town　many　years；　she　wascalled　〃Madame；〃　and　felt　dignified　in　consequence；　she　remembered　theold；　noble　days；　in　which　she　had　driven　in　the　carriage；　and　hadassociated　with　countess　and　baroness。　Her　beautiful；　noble　childhad　been　a　dear　angel；　and　possessed　the　kindest　heart；　he　had　lovedher　so　much；　and　she　had　loved　him　in　return；　they　had　kissed　andloved　each　other；　and　the　boy　had　been　her　joy；　her　second　life。　Nowhe　was　fourteen　years　of　age；　tall；　handsome；　and　clever。　She　hadnot　seen　him　since　she　carried　him　in　her　arms；　neither　had　she　beenfor　years　to　the　count's　palace；　it　was　quite　a　journey　thither　fromthe　town。

〃I　must　make　one　effort　to　go；〃　said　Anne　Lisbeth；　〃to　see　mydarling；　the　count's　sweet　child；　and　press　him　to　my　heart。　Certainlyhe　must　long　to　see　me；　too；　the　young　count；　no　doubt　he　thinks　of　meand　loves　me；　as　in　those　days　when　he　would　fling　his　angel…armsround　my　neck；　and　lisp　'Anne　Liz。'　It　was　music　to　my　ears。　Yes；　Imust　make　an　effort　to　see　him　again。〃　She　drove　across　the　country　ina　grazier's　cart；　and　then　got　out；　and　continued　her　journey　on　foot；and　thus　reached　the　count's　castle。　It　was　as　great　and　magnificentas　it　had　always　been；　and　the　garden　looked　the　same　as　ever；　all　theservants　were　strangers　to　her；　not　one　of　them　knew　Anne　Lisbeth；　norof　what　consequence　she　had　once　been　there；　but　she　felt　sure　thecountess　would　soon　let　them　know　it；　and　her　darling　boy；　too：　howshe　longed　to　see　him！

Now　that　Anne　Lisbeth　was　at　her　journey's　end；　she　was　keptwaiting　a　long　time；　and　for　those　who　wait；　time　passes　slowly。　Butbefore　the　great　people　went　in　to　dinner；　she　was　called　in　andspoken　to　very　graciously。　She　was　to　go　in　again　after　dinner；　andthen　she　would　see　her　sweet　boy　once　more。　How　tall；　and　slender；　andthin　he　had　grown；　but　the　eyes　and　the　sweet　angel　mouth　were　stillbeautiful。　He　looked　at　her；　but　he　did　not　speak；　he　certainly　didnot　know　who　she　was。　He　turned　round　and　was　going　away；　but　sheseized　his　hand　and　pressed　it　to　her　lips。

〃Well；　well；〃　he　said；　and　with　that　he　walked　out　of　the　room。　Hewho　filled　her　every　thought！　he　whom　she　loved　best；　and　who　washer　whole　earthly　pride！

Anne　Lisbeth　went　forth　from　the　castle　into　the　public　road；feeling　mournful　and　sad；　he　whom　she　had　nursed　day　and　night；　andeven　now　carried　about　in　her　dreams；　had　been　cold　and　strange；　andhad　not　a　word　or　thought　respecting　her。　A　great　black　raven　darteddown　in　front　of　her　on　the　high　road；　and　croaked　dismally。

〃Ah；〃　said　she；　〃what　bird　of　ill　omen　art　thou？〃　Presently　shepassed　the　laborer's　hut；　his　wife　stood　at　the　door；　and　the　twowomen　spoke　to　each　other。

〃You　look　well；〃　said　the　woman；　〃you're　fat　and　plump；　you　arewell　off。〃

〃Oh　yes；〃　answered　Anne　Lisbeth。

〃The　boat　went　down　with　them；〃　continued　the　woman；　〃Hans　theskipper　and　the　boy　were　both　drowned；　so　there's　an　end　of　them。　Ialways　thought　the　boy　would　be　able　to　help　me　with　a　few　dollars。He'll　never　cost　you　anything　more；　Anne　Lisbeth。〃

〃So　they　were　drowned；〃　repeated　Anne　Lisbeth；　but　she　said　nomore；　and　the　subject　was　dropped。　She　felt　very　low…spirited；　becauseher　count…child　had　shown　no　inclination　to　speak　to　her　who　loved　himso　well；　and　who　had　travelled　so　far　to　see　him。　The　journey　had　costmoney　too；　and　she　had　derived　no　great　pleasure　from　it。　Still　shesaid　not　a　word　of　all　this；　she　could　not　relieve　her　heart　bytelling　the　laborer's　wife；　lest　the　latter　should　think　she　did　notenjoy　her　former　position　at　the　castle。　Then　the　raven　flew　over　her；screaming　again　as　he　flew。

〃The　black　wretch！〃　said　Anne　Lisbeth；　〃he　will　end　by　frighteningme　today。〃　She　had　brought　coffee　and　chicory　with　her；　for　shethought　it　would　be　a　charity　to　the　poor　woman　to　give　them　to　her　toboil　a　cup　of　coffee；　and　then　she　would　take　a　cup　herself。

The　woman　prepared　the　coffee；　and　in　the　meantime　Anne　Lisbethseated　her　in　a　chair　and　fell　asleep。　Then　she　dreamed　of　somethingwhich　she　had　never　dreamed　before；　singularly　enough　she　dreamed　ofher　own　child；　who　had　wept　and　hungered　in　the　laborer's　hut；　and　hadbeen　knocked　about　in　heat　and　in　cold；　and　who　was　now　lying　in　thedepths　of　the　sea；　in　a　spot　only　known　by　God。　She　fancied　she　wasstill　sitting　in　the　hut；　where　the　woman　was　busy　preparing　thecoffee；　for　she　could　smell　the　coffee…berries　roasting。　Butsuddenly　it　seemed　to　her　that　there　stood　on　the　threshold　abeautiful　young　form；　as　beautiful　as　the　count's　child；　and　thisapparition　said　to　her；　〃The　world　is　passing　away；　hold　fast　to　me；for　you　are　my　mother　after　all；　you　have　an　angel　in　heaven；　holdme　fast；〃　and　the　child…angel　stretched　out　his　hand　and　seized　her。Then　there　was　a　terrible　crash；　as　of　a　world　crumbling　to　pieces；and　the　angel…child　was　rising　from　the　earth；　and　holding　her　bythe　sleeve　so　tightly　that　she　felt　herself　lifted　from　the　ground；but；　on　the　other　hand；　something　heavy　hung　to　her　feet　and　draggedher　down；　and　it　seemed　as　if　hundreds　of　women　were　clinging　toher；　and　crying；　〃If　thou　art　to　be　saved；　we　must　be　saved　too。Hold　fast；　hold　fast。〃　And　then　they　all　hung　on　her；　but　there　weretoo　many；　and　as　they　clung　the　sleeve　was　torn；　and　Anne　Lisbeth　felldown　in　horror；　and　awoke。　Indeed　she　was　on　the　point　of　falling　overin　reality　with　the　chair　on　which　she　sat；　but　she　was　so　startledand　alarmed　that　she　could　not　remember　what　she　had　dreamed；　onlythat　it　was　something　very　dreadful。

They　drank　their　coffee　and　had　a　chat　together；　and　then　AnneLisbeth　went　away　towards　the　little　town　where　she　was　to　meet　thecarrier；　who　was　to　drive　her　back　to　her　own　home。　But　when　shecame　to　him　she　found　that　he　would　not　be　ready　to　start　till　theevening　of　the　next　day。　Then　she　began　to　think　of　the　expense；　andwhat　the　distance　would　be　to　walk。　She　remembered　that　the　route　bythe　sea…shore　was　two　miles　shorter　than　by　the　high　road；　and　asthe　weather　was　clear；　and　there　would　be　moonlight；　she　determined　tomake　her　way　on　foot；　and　to　start　at　once；　that　she　might　reachhome　the　next　day。

The　sun　had　set；　and　the　evening　bells　sounded　through　the　airfrom　the　tower　of　the　village　church；　but　to　her　it　was　not　the　bells；but　the　cry　of　the　frogs　in　the　marshes。　Then　they　ceased；　and　allaround　became　still；　not　a　bird　could　be　heard；　they　were　all　at　rest；even　the　owl　had　not　left　her　hiding　place；　deep　silence　reigned　onthe　margin　of　the　wood　by　the　sea…shore。　As　Anne　Lisbeth　walked　on　shecould　hear　her　own　footsteps　in　the　sands；　even　the　waves　of　the　seawere　at　rest；　and　all　in　the　deep　waters　had　sunk　into　silence。There　was　quiet　among　the　dead　and　the　living　in　the　deep　sea。　AnneLisbeth　walked　on；　thinking　of　nothing　at　all；　as　people　say；　orrather　her　thoughts　wandered；　but　not　away　from　her；　for　thought　isnever　absent　from　us；　it　only　slumbers。　Many　thoughts　that　have　laindormant　are　roused　at　the　proper　time；　and　begin　to　stir　in　the　mindand　the　heart；　and　seem　even　to　e　upon　us　from　above。　It　iswritten；　that　a　good　deed　bears　a　blessing　for　its　fruit；　and　it　isalso　written；　that　the　wages　of　sin　is　death。　Much　has　been　said　andmuch　written　which　we　pass　over　or　know　nothing　of。　A　light　ariseswithin　us；　and　then　forgotten　things　make　themselves　remembered；　andthus　it　was　with　Anne　Lisbeth。　The　germ　of　every　vice　and　every　virtuelies　in　our　heart；　in　yours　and　in　mine；　they　lie　like　little　grainsof　seed；　till　a　ray　of　sunshine；　or　the　touch　of　an　evil　hand；　oryou　turn　the　corner　to　the　right　or　to　the　left；　and　the　decision　ismade。　The　little　seed　is　stirred；　it　swells　and　shoots　up；　and　poursits　sap　into　your　blood；　directing　your　course　either　for　good　orevil。　Troublesome　thoughts　often　exist　in　the　mind；　fermentingthere；　which　are　not　realized　by　us　while　the　senses　are　as　it　wereslumbering；　but　still　they　are　there。　Anne　Lisbeth　walked　on　thus　withher　senses　half　asleep；　but　the　thoughts　were　fermenting　within　her。

From　one　Shrove　Tuesday　to　another；　much　may　occur　to　weigh　downthe　heart；　it　is　the　reckoning　of　a　whole　year；　much　may　be　forgotten；sins　against　heaven　in　word　and　thought；　sins　against　our　neighbor；and　against　our　own　conscience。　We　are　scarcely　aware　of　theirexistence；　and　Anne　Lisbeth　did　not　think　of　any　of　her　errors。　Shehad　mitted　no　crime　against　the　law　of　the　land；　she　was　anhonorable　person；　in　a　good　position…　that　she　knew。

She　continued　her　walk　along　by　the　margin　of　the　sea。　What　was　itshe　saw　lying　there？　An　old　hat；　a　man's　hat。　Now　when　might　that　havebeen　washed　overboard？　She　drew　nearer；　she　stopped　to　look　at　thehat；　〃Ha！　what　was　lying　yonder？〃　She　shuddered；　yet　it　was　nothingsave　a　heap　of　grass　and　tangled　seaweed　flung　across　a　long　stone；but　it　looked　like　a　corpse。　Only　tangled　grass；　and　yet　she　wasfrightened　at　it。　As　she　turned　to　walk　away；　much　came　into　hermind　that　she　had　heard　in　her　childhood：　old　superstitions　ofspectres　by　the　sea…shore；　of　the　ghosts　of　drowned　but　unburiedpeople；　whose　corpses　had　been　washed　up　on　the　desolate　beach。　Thebody；　she　knew；　could　do　no　harm　to　any　one；　but　the　spirit　couldpursue　the　lonely　wanderer；　attach　itself　to　him；　and　demand　to　becarried　to　the　churchyard；　that　it　might　rest　in　consecrated　ground。〃Hold　fast！　hold　fast！〃　the　spectre　would　cry；　and　as　Anne　Lisbethmurmured　these　words　to　herself；　the　whole　of　her　dream　was　suddenlyrecalled　to　her　memory；　when　the　mother　had　clung　to　her；　anduttered　these　words；　when；　amid　the　crashing　of　worlds；　her　sleeve　hadbeen　torn；　and　she　had　slipped　from　the　grasp　of　her　child；　who　wantedto　hold　her　up　in　that　terrible　hour。　Her　child；　her　own　child；which　she　had　never　loved；　lay　now　buried　in　the　sea；　and　might　riseup；　like　a　spectre；　from　the　waters；　and　cry；　〃Hold　fast；　carry　meto　consecrated　ground！〃

As　these　thoughts　passed　through　her　mind；　fear　gave　speed　toher　feet；　so　that　she　walked　faster　and　faster。　Fear　came　upon　heras　if　a　cold；　clammy　hand　had　been　laid　upon　her　heart；　so　that　shealmost　fainted。　As　she　looked　across　the　sea；　all　there　grew　darker；　aheavy　mist　came　rolling　onwards；　and　clung　to　bush　and　tree；distorting　them　into　fantastic　shapes。　She　turned　and　glanced　at　themoon；　which　had　risen　behind　her。　It　looked　like　a　pale；　raylesssurface；　and　a　deadly　weight　seemed　to　hang　upon　her　limbs。　〃Hold；〃thought　she；　and　then　she　turned　round　a　second　time　to　look　at　themoon。　A　white　face　appeared　quite　close　to　her；　with　a　mist；　hanginglike　a　garment　from　its　shoulders。　〃Stop！　carry　me　to　consecratedearth；〃　sounded　in　her　ears；　in　strange；　hollow　tones。　The　sound　didnot　e　from　frogs　or　ravens；　she　saw　no　sign　of　such　creatures。　〃Agrave！　dig　me　a　grave！〃　was　repeated　quite　loud。　Yes；　it　was　indeedthe　spectre　of　her　child。　The　child　that　lay　beneath　the　ocean；　andwhose　spirit　could　have　no　rest　until　it　was　carried　to　thechurchyard；　and　until　a　grave　had　been　dug　for　it　in　consecratedground。　She　would　go　there　at　once；　and　there　she　would　dig。　Sheturned　in　the　direction　of　the　church；　and　the　weight　on　her　heartseemed　to　grow　lighter；　and　even　to　vanish　altogether；　but　when　sheturned　to　go　home　by　the　shortest　way；　it　returned。　〃Stop！　stop！〃and　the　words　came　quite　clear；　though　they　were　like　the　croak　of　afrog；　or　the　wail　of　a　bird。　〃A　grave！　dig　me　a　grave！〃

The　mist　was　cold　and　damp；　her　hands　and　face　were　moist　andclammy　with　horror；　a　heavy　weight　again　seized　her　and　clung　toher；　her　mind　became　clear　for　thoughts　that　had　never　before　beenthere。

In　these　northern　regions；　a　beech…wood　often　buds　in　a　singlenight　and　appears　in　the　morning　sunlight　in　its　full　glory　ofyouthful　green。　So；　in　a　single　instant；　can　the　consciousness　ofthe　sin　that　has　been　mitted　in　thoughts；　words；　and　actions　of　ourpast　life；　be　unfolded　to　us。　When　once　the　conscience　is　awakened；　itsprings　up　in　the　heart　spontaneously；　and　God　awakens　theconscience　when　we　least　expect　it。　Then　we　can　find　no　excuse　forourselves；　the　deed　is　there　and　bears　witness　against　us。　Thethoughts　seem　to　bee　words；　and　to　sound　far　out　into　the　world。　Weare　horrified　at　the　thought　of　what　we　have　carried　within　us；　and　atthe　consciousness　that　we　have　not　overe　the　evil　which　has　itsorigin　in　thoughtlessness　and　pride。　The　heart　conceals　withinitself　the　vices　as　well　as　the　virtues；　and　they　grow　in　theshallowest　ground。　Anne　Lisbeth　now　experienced　in　thought　what　wehave　clothed　in　words。　She　was　overpowered　by　them；　and　sank　downand　crept　along　for　some　distance　on　the　ground。　〃A　grave！　dig　me　agrave！〃　sounded　again　in　her　ears；　and　she　would　have　gladly　buriedherself；　if　in　the　grave　she　could　have　found　forgetfulness　of　heractions。

It　was　the　first　hour　of　her　awakening；　full　of　anguish　andhorror。　Superstition　made　her　alternately　shudder　with　cold　or　burnwith　the　heat　of　fever。　Many　things；　of　which　she　had　feared　even　tospeak；　came　into　her　mind。　Silently；　as　the　cloud…shadows　in　themoonshine；　a　spectral　apparition　flitted　by　her；　she　had　heard　of　itbefore。　Close　by　her　galloped　four　snorting　steeds；　with　fire　flashingfrom　their　eyes　and　nostrils。　They　dragged　a　burning　coach；　and　withinit　sat　the　wicked　lord　of　the　manor；　who　had　ruled　there　a　hundredyears　before。　The　legend　says　that　every　night；　at　twelve　o'clock；he　drove　into　his　castleyard　and　out　again。　He　was　not　as　pale　as　deadmen　are；　but　black　as　a　coal。　He　nodded；　and　pointed　to　AnneLisbeth；　crying　out；　〃Hold　fast！　hold　fast！　and　then　you　may　rideagain　in　a　nobleman's　carriage；　and　forget　your　child。〃

She　gathered　herself　up；　and　hastened　to　the　churchyard；　but　blackcrosses　and　black　ravens　danced　before　her　eyes；　and　she　could　notdistinguish　one　from　the　other。　The　ravens　croaked　as　the　raven　haddone　which　she　saw　in　the　daytime；　but　now　she　understood　what　theysaid。　〃I　am　the　raven…mother；　I　am　the　raven…mother；〃　each　ravencroaked；　and　Anne　Lisbeth　felt　that　the　name　also　applied　to　her；and　she　fancied　she　should　be　transformed　into　a　black　bird；　andhave　to　cry　as　they　cried；　if　she　did　not　dig　the　grave。　And　she　threwherself　upon　the　earth；　and　with　her　hands　dug　a　grave　in　the　hardground；　so　that　the　blood　ran　from　her　fingers。　〃A　grave！　dig　me　agrave！〃　still　sounded　in　her　ears；　she　was　fearful　that　the　cock　mightcrow；　and　the　first　red　streak　appear　in　the　east；　before　she　hadfinished　her　work；