2 new+moon新月-第27部分

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so　that　he　could　save　lives　as　a　doctor。　Nothing　could　be　harder　than　that。　

The　werewolves　had　chosen　a　different　path。　

Now；　what　should　I　choose？　

1　3　。　KILLER　




IF　IT　WAS　ANYONE　BUT　JACOB；　I　THOUGHT　TO　MYSELF；　shaking　my　head　as　I　drove　down　
the　forestlined　highway　to　La　Push。　

I　still　wasn't　sure　if　I　was　domg　the　right　thing；　but　I'd　made　a　promise　with　myself。　

I　couldn't　condone　what　Jacob　and　his　friends；　his　pack；　were　doing。　I　understood　now　what　he'd　said　
last　night—that　I　might　not　want　to　see　him　again—and　I　could　have　called　him　as　he'd　suggested；　but　
that　felt　cowardly。　I　owed　him　a　facetoface　conversation；　at　least。　I　would　tell　him　to　his　face　that　I　
couldn't　just　overlook　what　was　going　on。　I　couldn't　be　friends　with　a　killer　and　say　nothing；　let　the　killing　
continue…　That　would　make　me　a　monster；　too。　

But　I　couldn't　not　warn　him；　either。　I　had　to　do　what　I　could　to　protect　him。　

I　pulled　up　to　the　Blacks'　house　with　my　lips　pressed　together　into　a　hard　line。　It　was　bad　enough　that　my　
best　friend　was　a　werewolf。　Did　he　have　to　be　a　monster；　too？　

The　house　was　dark；　no　lights　in　the　windows；　but　I　didn't　care　if　I　woke　them。　My　fist　thudded　against　
the　front　door　with　angry　energy；　the　sound　reverberated　through　the　walls。　

〃e　in；〃　I　heard　Billy　call　after　a　minute；　and　a　light　flicked　on。　

I　twisted　the　knob；　it　was　unlocked。　Billy　was　leaning　around　an　open　doorway　just　off　the　little　kitchen；　a　
bathrobe　around　his　shoulders；　not　in　his　chair　yet。　When　he　saw　who　it　was；　his　eyes　widened　briefly；　
and　then　his　face　turned　stoic。　

〃Well；　good　morning；　Bella。　What　are　you　doing　up　so　early？〃　

〃Hey；　Billy。　I　need　to　talk　to　Jake—where　is　he？〃　

〃Um…　I　don't　really　know；〃　he　lied；　straightfaced。　

〃Do　you　know　what　Charlie　is　doing　this　morning？〃　I　demanded；　sick　of　the　stalling。　

〃Should　I？〃　

〃He　and　half　the　other　men　in　town　are　all　out　in　the　woods　with　guns；　hunting　giant　wolves。〃　

Billy's　expression　flickered；　and　then　went　blank。　

〃So　I'd　like　to　talk　to　Jake　about　that；　if　you　don't　mind；〃　I　continued。　

Billy　pursed　his　thick　lips　for　a　long　moment。　〃I'd　bet　he's　still　asleep；〃　he　finally　said；　nodding　toward　the　

tiny　hallway　off　the　front　room。　〃He's　out　late　a　lot　these　days。　Kid　needs　his　rest—probably　you　
shouldn't　wake　him。〃　

〃It's　my　turn；〃　I　muttered　under　my　breath　as　I　stalked　to　the　hallway。　Billy　sighed。　

Jacob's　tiny　closet　of　a　room　was　the　only　door　in　the　yardlong　hallway。　I　didn't　bother　to　knock。　I　
threw　the　door　open；　it　slammed　against　the　wall　with　a　bang。　

Jacob—still　wearing　just　the　same　black　cutoff　sweats　he'd　worn　last　night—was　stretched　diagonally　
across　the　double　bed　that　took　up　all　of　his　room　but　a　few　inches　around　the　edges。　Even　on　a　slant；　it　
wasn't　long　enough；　his　feet　hung　off　the　one　end　and　his　head　off　the　other。　He　was　fast　asleep；　snoring　
lightly　with　his　mouth　hanging　open。　The　sound　of　the　door　hadn't　even　made　him　twitch。　

His　face　was　peaceful　with　（deep　sleep；　all　the　angry　lines　smoothed　out。　There　were　circles　under　his　
eyes　that　I　hadn't　noticed　before。　Despite　his　ridiculous　size；　he　looked　very　young　now；　and　very　weary。　
Pity　shook　me。　

I　stepped　back　out；　and　shut　the　door　quietly　behind　me。　

Billy　stared　with　curious；　guarded　eyes　as　I　walked　slowly　back　into　the　front　room。　

〃I　think　I'll　let　him　get　some　rest。〃　

Billy　nodded；　and　then　we　gazed　at　each　other　for　a　minute。　I　was　dying　to　ask　him　about　his　part　in　this。　

What　did　he　think　of　what　his　son　had　bee？　But　I　knew　how　he'd　supported　Sam　from　the　very　
beginning；　and　so　I　supposed　the　murders　must　not　bother　him。　How　he　justified　that　to　himself　I　couldn't　
imagine。　

I　could　see　many　questions　for　me　in　his　dark　eyes；　but　he　didn't　voice　them　either。　

〃Look；〃　I　said；　breaking　the　loud　silence。　〃I'll　be　down　at　the　beach　for　a　while。　When　he　wakes　up；　tell　
him　I'm　waiting　for　him；　okay？〃　

〃Sure；　sure；〃　Billy　agreed。　

I　wondered　if　he　really　would。　Well；　if　he　didn't；　I'd　tried；　right？　

I　drove　down　to　First　Beach　and　parked　in　the　empty　dirt　lot。　It　was　still　dark—the　gloomy　predawn　of　a　
cloudy　day—and　when　I　cut　the　headlights　it　was　hard　to　see。　I　had　to　let　my　eyes　adjust　before　I　could　
find　the　path　that　led　through　the　tall　hedge　of　weeds。　It　was　colder　here；　with　the　wind　whipping　off　the　
black　water；　and　I　shoved　my　hands　deep　into　the　pockets　of　my　winter　jacket。　At　least　the　rain　had　
stopped。　

I　paced　down　the　beach　toward　the　north　seawall。　I　couldn't　see　St。　James　or　the　other　islands；　just　the　
vague　shape　of　the　water's　edge。　I　picked　my　way　carefully　across　the　rocks；　watching　out　for　driftwood　
that　might　trip　me。　

I　found　what　I　was　looking　for　before　I　realized　I　was　looking　for　it。　It　materialized　out　of　the　gloom　when　
it　was　just　a　few　feet　away：　a　long　bonewhite　driftwood　tree　stranded　deep　on　the　rocks。　The　roots　
twisted　up　at　the　seaward　end；　like　a　hundred　brittle　tentacles。　I　couldn't　be　sure　that　it　was　the　same　tree　
where　Jacob　and　I　had　had　our　first　conversation—a　conversation　that　had　begun　so　many　different；　
tangled　threads　of　my　life—but　it　seemed　to　be　in　about　the　same　place　I　sat　down　where　I'd　sat　before；　
and　stared　out　across　the　invisible　sea。　

Seeing　Jacob　like　that—innocent　and　vulnerable　in　sleep—had　stolen　all　my　revulsion；　dissolved　all　my　
anger。　I　still　couldn't　turn　a　blind　sye　to　what　was　happening；　like　Billy　seemed　to；　but　I　couldn't　condemn　
Jacob　for　it　either。　Love　didn't　work　that　way；　I　decided。　Once　you　cared　about　a　person；　it　was　
impossible　to　be　logical　about　them　anymore。　Jacob　was　my　friend　whether　he　killed　people　or　not。　And　
I　didn't　know　what　I　was　going　to　do　about　that。　

When　I　pictured　him　sleeping　so　peacefully；　I　felt　an　overpowering　urge　to　protect　him。　pletely　
illogical。　

Illogical　or　not；　I　brooded　over　the　memory　his　peaceful　face；　trying　to　e　up　with　some　answer；　some　
way　to　shelter　him；　while　the　sky　slowly　turned　gray。　

〃Hi；Bella。〃　

Jacob's　voice　came　from　the　darkness　and　made　me　jump。　It　was　soft；　almost　shy；　but　I'd　been　expecting　
some　forewarning　from　the　noisy　rocks；　and　so　it　still　startled　me。　I　could　see　his　silhouette　against　the　
ing　sunrise—it　looked　enormous。　

〃Jake？〃　

He　stood　several　paces　away；　shifting　his　weight　from　foot　to　foot　anxiously。　

〃Billy　told　me　you　came　by—didn't　take　you　very　long；　did　it？　I　knew　you　could　figure　it　out。〃　

〃Yeah；　I　remember　the　right　story　now；〃　I　whispered。　

It　was　quiet　for　a　long　moment　and；　though　it　was　still　too　dark　to　see　well；　my　skin　prickled　as　if　his　eyes　
were　searching　my　face。　There　must　have　been　enough　light　for　him　to　read　my　expression；　because　
when　he　spoke　again；　his　voice　was　suddenly　acidic。　

〃You　could　have　just　called；〃　he　said　harshly。　

I　nodded。　〃I　know。〃　

Jacob　started　pacing　along　the　rocks。　If　I　listened　very　hard；　I　could　just　hear　the　gentle　brush　of　his　feet　
on　the　rocks　behind　the　sound　of　the　waves。　The　rocks　had　clattered　like　castas　for　me。　

〃Why　did　you　e？〃　he　demanded；　not　halting　his　angry　stride。　

〃I　thought　it　would　be　better　facetoface。〃　

He　snorted。　〃Oh；　much　better。〃　

〃Jacob；　I　have　to　warn　you—〃　

〃About　the　rangers　and　the　hunters？　Don't　worry　about　it。　We　already　know。〃　

〃Don't　worry　about　it？〃　I　demanded　in　disbelief。　〃Jake；　they've　got　guns！　They're　setting　traps　and　
offering　rewards　and—〃　

〃We　can　take　care　of　ourselves；〃　he　growled；　still　pacing。　〃They're　not　going　to　catch　anything。　They're　
only　making　it　more　difficult—they'll　start　disappearing　soon　enough；　too。〃　

〃Jake！〃　I　hissed。　

〃What？　It's　just　a　fact。〃　

My　voice　was　pale　with　revulsion。　〃How　can　you…　feel　that　way？　You　know　these　people。　Charlie's　out　
there！〃　The　thought　made　my　stomach　twist。　

He　came　to　an　abrupt　stop。　〃What　more　can　we　do？〃　he　retorted。　

The　sun　turned　the　clouds　a　slivery　pink　above　us。　I　could　see　his　expression　now；　it　was　angry；　
frustrated；　betrayed。　

〃Could　you…　well；　try　to　not　be　a…　werewolf？〃　I　suggested　in　a　whisper。　

He　threw　his　hands　up　in　the　air。　〃Like　I　have　a　choice　about　it！〃　he　shouted。　〃And　how　would　that　help　
anything；　if　you're　worried　about　people　disappearing？〃　

〃I　don't　understand　you。〃　

He　glared　at　me；　his　eyes　narrowing　and　his　mouth　twisting　into　a　snarl。　〃You　know　what　makes　me　so　
mad　I　could　just　spit？〃　

I　flinched　away　from　his　hostile　expression。　He　seemed　to　be　waiting　for　an　answer；　so　I　shook　my　head。　

〃You're　such　a　hypocrite；　Bella—there　you　sit；　terrified　of　me！　How　is　that　fair？〃　His　hands　shook　with　
anger。　

〃Hypocrite？　How　does　being　afraid　of　a　monster　make　me　a　hypocrite？〃　

〃Ugh！〃　he　groaned；　pressing　his　trembling　fists　to　his　temples　and　squeezing　his　eyes　shut。　〃Would　you　
listen　to　yourself？〃　

〃What？〃　

He　took　two　steps　toward　me；　leaning　over　me　and　glaring　with　fury。　〃Well；　I'm　so　sorry　that　I　can't　be　
the　right　kind　of　monster　for　you；　Bella。　I　guess　I'm　just　not　as　great　as　a　bloodsucker；　am　I？〃　

I　jumped　to　my　feet　and　glared　back。　〃No；　you're　not！〃　I　shouted。　〃It's　not　what　you　are；　stupid；　it's　what　
you　do！〃　

〃What's　that　supposed　to　mean？〃　He　roared；　his　entire　frame　quivering　with　rage。　

I　was　taken　entirely　by　surprise　when　Edward's　voice　cautioned　me。　〃Be　very　careful；　Bella；〃　his　velvet　
voice　warned。　〃Don't　push　him　too　far。　You　need　to　calm　him　down。〃　

Even　the　voice　in　my　head　was　making　no　sense　today。　

I　listened　to　him；　though。　I　would　do　anything　for　that　voice。　

〃Jacob；〃　I　pleaded；　making　my　tone　soft　and　even。　〃Is　it　really　necessary　to　kill　people；　Jacob？　Isn't　there　
some　other　way？　I　mean；　if　vampires　can　find　a　way　to　survive　without　murdering　people；　couldn't　you　
give　it　a　try；　too？〃　

He　straightened　up　with　a　jerk；　like　my　words　had　sent　an　electric　shock　through　him。　His　eyebrows　shot　
up　and　his　eyes　stared　wide。　

〃Killing　people？〃　he　demanded。　

〃What　did　you　think　we　were　talking　about？〃　

He　wasn't　trembling　anymore。　He　looked　at　me　with　halfhopeful　disbelief。　〃I　thought　we　were　talking　
about　your　disgust　for　werewolves。〃　

〃No；　Jake；　no。　It's　not　that　you're　a…　wolf。　That's　fine；〃　I　promised　him；　and　I　knew　as　I　said　the　words　
that　I　meant　them。　I　really　didn't　care　if　he　turned　into　a　big　wolf—he　was　still　Jacob。　〃If　you　could　just　
find　a　way　not　to　hurt　people…　that's　all　that　upsets　me。　These　ate　innocent　people；　Jake；　people　like　
Charlie；　and　I　can't　just　look　the　other　way　while　you—〃　

〃Is　that　all？　Really？〃　he　interrupted　me；　a　smile　breaking　across　his　face。　〃You're　just　scared　because　I'm　
a　murderer？　That's　the　only　reason？〃　

〃Isn't　that　reason　enough？〃　

He　started　to　laugh。　

〃Jacob　Black；　this　is　so　notfunny！〃　

〃Sure；　sure；〃　he　agreed；　still　chortling。　

He　took　one　long　stride　and　caught　me　in　another　vicetight　bear　hug。　

〃You　really；　honestly　don't　mind　that　I　morph　into　a　giant　dog？〃　he　asked；　his　voice　joyful　in　my　ear。　

〃No；〃　I　gasped。　〃Can't—breathe—Jake！〃　

He　let　me　go；　but　took　both　my　hands。　〃I'm　not　a　killer；　Bella。〃　

I　studied　his　face；　and　it　was　clear　that　this　was　the　truth。　Relief　pulsed　through　me。　

〃Really？〃　I　asked。　

〃Really；〃　he　promised　solemnly。　

I　threw　my　arms　around　him。　It　reminded　me　of　that　first　day　with　the　motorcycles—he　was　bigger；　
though；　and　I　felt　even　more　like　a　child　now。　

Like　that　other　time；　he　stroked　my　hair。　

〃Sorry　I　called　you　a　hypocrite；〃　he　apologized。　

〃Sorry　I　called　you　a　murderer。〃　

He　laughed。　

I　thought　of　something　then；　and　pulled　away　from　him　so　that　I　could　see　his　face。　My　eyebrows　
furrowed　in　anxiety。　〃What　about　Sam？　And　the　others？〃　

He　shook　his　head；　smiling　like　a　huge　burden　had　been　removed　from　his　shoulders。　〃Of　course　not。　
Don't　you　remember　what　we　call　ourselves？〃　

The　memory　was　clear—I'd　just　been　thinking　of　that　very　day。　〃Protectors？〃　

〃Exactly。〃　

〃But　I　don't　understand。　What's　happening　in　the　woods？　The　missing　hikers；　the　blood？〃　

His　face　was　serious；　worried　at　once。　〃We're　trying　to　do　our　job；　Bella。　We're　trying　to　protect　them；　
but　we're　always　just　a　little　too　late。〃　

〃Protect　them　from　what？　Is　there　really　a　bear　out　there；　too？〃　

〃Bella；　honey；　we　only　protect　people　from　one　thing—our　one　enemy。　It's　the　reason　we　exist—because　
they　do。〃　

I　stared　at　him　blankly　for　one　second　before　I　understood。　Then　the　blood　drained　from　my　face　and　a　
thin；　wordless　cry　of　horror　broke　through　my　lips。　

He　nodded。　〃I　thought　you；　of　all　people；　would　reali2e　what　was　really　going　on。〃　

〃Laurent；〃　I　whispered。　〃He's　still　here。〃　

Jacob　blinked　twice；　and　cocked　his　head　to　one　side。　〃Who's　Laurent？〃　

I　tried　to　sort　out　the　chaos　in　my　head　so　that　I　could　answer。　〃You　know—you　saw　him　in　the　
meadow。　You　were　there…〃　The　words　came　out　in　a　wondering　tone　as　it　all　sunk　in。　〃You　were　there；　
and　you　kept　him　from　killing　me…〃　

〃Oh；　the　blackhaired　leech？〃　He　grinned；　a　tight；　fierce　grin。　〃Was　that　his　name？〃　

I　shuddered。　〃What　were　you　thinking？〃　I　whispered。　〃He　could　have　killed　you！　Jake；　you　don't　realize　
how　dangerous—〃　

Another　laugh　interrupted　me　〃Bella；　one　lone　vampire　isn't　much　of　a　problem　for　a　pack　as　big　as　ours。　
It　was　so　easy；　it　was　hardly　even　fun！〃　

〃What　was　so　easy？〃　

〃Killing　the　bloodsucker　who　was　going　to　kill　you。　Now；　I　don't　count　that　towards　the　whole　murder　
thing；〃　he　added　quickly。　〃Vampires　don't　count　as　people。〃　

I　could　only　mouth　the　words。　〃You…　killed…　Laurent？〃　

He　nodded。　〃Well；　it　was　a　group　effort；〃　he　qualified。　

〃Laurent　is　dead？〃　I　whispered。　

His　expression　changed。　〃You're　not　upset　about　that；　are　you？　He　was　going　to　kill　you—he　was　going　
for　the　kill；　Bella；　we　were　sure　of　that　before　we　attacked。　You　know　that；　right？〃　

〃I　know　that。　No；　I'm　not　upset—I'm…〃　I　had　to　sit　down。　I　stumbled　back　a　step　until　I　felt　the　
driftwood　against　my　calves；　and　then　sank　down　onto　it。　〃Laurent　is　dead。　He's　not　ing　back　for　
me。〃　

〃You're　not　mad？　He　wasn't　one　of　your　friends　or　anything；　was　he？〃　

〃My　friend？〃　I　stared　up　at　him；　confused　and　dizzy　with　relief。　I　started　babbling；　my　eyes　getting　moist。　
〃No；　Jake。　I'm　so…　so　relieved。　I　thought　he　was　going　to　find　me—I've　been　waiting　for　him　every　
night；　just　hoping　that　he'd　stop　with　me　and　leave　Charlie　alone。　I've　been　so　frightened；　Jacob…　But　
how？　He　was　a　vampire！　How　did　you　kill　him？　He　was　so　strong；　so　hard；　like　marble…〃　

He　sat　down　next　to　me　and　put　one　big　arm　around　me　fortingly。　〃It's　what　we're　made　for；　Bells。　
We're　strong；　too。　I　wish　you　would　have　told　me　that　you　were　so　afraid。　You　didn't　need　to　be。〃　

〃You　weren't　around；〃　I　mumbled；　lost　in　thought。　

〃Oh；　right。〃　

〃Wait；　Jake—I　thought　you　knew；　though。　Last　night；　you　said　it　wasn't　safe　for　you　to　be　in　my　room。　I　
thought　you　knew　that　a　vampire　might　be　ing。　Isn't　that　what　you　were　talking　about？〃　

He　looked　confused　for　a　minute；　and　then　he　ducked　his　head。　〃No；　that's　not　what　I　meant。〃　

〃Then　why　didn't　you　think　it　was　safe　for　you　there？〃　

He　looke