2 new+moon新月-第30部分

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〃Wolf　thing；〃　Jacob　whispered。　

I　nodded；　trying　to　not　look　weirded　out。　

〃You　okay？〃　I　asked　him　under　my　breath。　

〃Not　a　scratch　on　me。〃　His　expression　was　smug。　

〃Hey；　guys；〃　Sam　said　in　a　loud　voice；　interrupting　all　the　conversations　going　on　in　the　small　room。　Emily　
was　at　the　stove；　scraping　the　egg　mixture　around　a　big　skillet；　but　Sam　still　had　one　hand　touching　the　
small　of　her　back；　an　unconscious　gesture。　〃Jacob　has　information　for　us。〃　

Paul　looked　unsurprised。　Jacob　must　have　explained　this　to　him　and　Sam　already。　Or…　they'd　just　heard　
his　thoughts。　

〃I　know　what　the　redhead　wants。〃　Jacob　directed　his　words　toward　Jared　and　Embry。　〃That's　what　I　
was　trying　to　tell　you　before。〃　He　kicked　the　leg　of　the　chair　Paul　had　settled　into。　

〃And？〃　Jared　asked。　

Jacob's　face　got　serious。　〃She　is　trying　to　avenge　her　mate—only　it　wasn't　the　blackhaired　leech　we　

killed。　The　Cullens　got　her　mate　last　year；　and　she's　after　Bella　now。〃　

This　wasn't　news　to　me；　but　I　still　shivered。　

Jared；　Embry；　and　Emily　stared　at　me　with　openmouthed　surprise。　

〃She's　just　a　girl；〃　Embry　protested。　

〃I　didn't　say　it　made　sense。　But　that's　why　the　bloodsucker's　been　trying　to　get　past　us。　She's　been　
heading　for　Forks。〃　

They　continued　to　stare　at　me；　mouths　still　hanging　open；　for　a　long　moment。　I　ducked　my　head。　

〃Excellent；〃　Jared　finally　said；　a　smile　beginning　to　pull　up　the　corners　of　his　mouth。　〃We've　got　bait。〃　

With　stunning　speed；　Jacob　yanked　a　can　opener　from　the　counter　and　launched　it　at　Jared's　head。　
Jared's　hand　flicked　up　faster　than　I　would　have　thought　possible；　and　he　snagged　the　tool　just　before　it　
hit　his　face。　

〃Bellais　not　bait。〃　

〃You　know　what　I　mean；〃　Jared　said；　unabashed。　

〃So　we'll　be　changing　oar　patterns；〃　Sam　said；　ignoring　their　squabble。　〃We'll　try　leaving　a　few　holes；　and　
see　if　she　falls　for　it。　We'll　have　to　split　up；　and　I　don't　like　that。　But　if　she's　really　after　Bella；　she　
probably　won't　try　to　take　advantage　of　our　divided　numbers。〃　

〃Quit's　got　to　be　close　to　joining　us；〃　Embry　murmured。　〃Then　we'll　be　able　to　split　evenly。〃　

Everyone　looked　down。　I　glanced　at　Jacob's　face；　and　it　was　hopeless；　like　it　had　been　yesterday　
afternoon；　outside　his　house。　No　matter　how　fortable　they　seemed　to　be　with　their　fate；　here　in　this　
happy　kitchen；　none　of　these　werewolves　wanted　the　same　fate　for　their　friend。　

〃Well；　we　won't　count　on　that；〃　Sam　said　in　a　low　voice；　and　then　continued　at　his　regular　volume。　〃Paul；　
Jared；　and　Embry　will　take　the　outer　perimeter；　and　Jacob　and　I　will　take　the　inner。　We'll　collapse　in　
when　we've　got　her　trapped。〃　

I　noticed　that　Emily　didn't　particularly　like　that　Sam　would　be　in　the　smaller　grouping。　Her　worry　had　me　
glancing　up　at　Jacob；　worrying；　too。　

Sam　caught　my　eye。　〃Jacob　thinks　it　would　be　best　if　you　spent　as　much　time　as　possible　here　in　La　Push。　
She　won't　know　where　to　find　you　so　easily；　just　in　case。〃　

〃What　about　Charlie？〃　I　demanded。　

〃March　Madness　is　still　going；〃　Jacob　said。　〃I　think　Billy　and　Harry　can　manage　to　keep　Charlie　down　
here　when　he's　not　at　work。〃　

〃Wait；〃　Sam　said；　holding　one　hand　up。　His　glance　flickered　to　Emily　and　then　back　to　me。　〃That's　what　
Jacob　thinks　is　best；　but　you　need　to　decide　for　yourself。　You　should　weigh　the　risks　of　both　options　very　
seriously。　You　saw　this　morning　how　easily　things　can　get　dangerous　here；　how　quickly　they　get　out　of　
hand。　If　you　choose　to　stay　with　us；　I　can't　make　any　guarantees　about　your　safety。〃　

〃I　won't　hurt　her；〃　Jacob　mumbled；　looking　down。　

Sam　acted　as　if　he　hadn't　heard　him　speak。　〃If　there　was　somewhere　else　you　felt　safe…〃　

I　bit　my　lip。　Where　could　I　go　that　wouldn't　put　someone　else　in　danger？　I　recoiled　again　from　the　idea　of　
bringing　Renee　into　this—pulling　her　into　the　circle　of　the　target　I　wore…　〃I　don't　want　to　lead　Victoria　
anywhere　else；〃　I　whispered。　

Sam　nodded。　〃That's　true。　It's　better　to　have　her　here；　where　we　can　end　this。〃　

I　flinched。　I　didn't　want　Jacob　or　any　of　the　rest　of　them　trying　to　end　Victoria。　I　glanced　at　Jake's　face；　it　
was　relaxed；　almost　the　same　as　I　remembered　it　from　before　the　onset　of　the　wolf　thing；　and　utterly　
unconcerned　by　the　idea　of　hunting　vampires。　

〃You'll　be　careful；　right？〃　I　asked；　an　audible　lump　in　my　throat。　

The　boys　burst　into　loud　hoots　of　amusement。　Everyone　laughed　at　me—except　Emily。　She　met　my　eyes；　
and　I　could　suddenly　see　the　symmetry　underlying　her　deformity。　Her　face　was　still　beautiful；　and　alive　
with　a　concern　even　more　fierce　than　mine。　I　had　to　look　away；　before　the　love　behind　that　concern　
could　start　me　aching　again。　

〃Food's　ready；〃　she　announced　then；　and　the　strategic　conversation　was　history。　The　guys　hurried　to　
surround　the　table—which　looked　tiny　and　in　danger　of　being　crushed　by　them—and　devoured　the　
buffetsized　pan　of　eggs　Emily　placed　in　their　midst　in　record　time。　Emily　ate　leaning　against　the　counter　
like　me—avoiding　the　bedlam　at　the　table—and　watched　them　with　affectionate　eyes。　Her　expression　
clearly　stated　that　this　was　her　family。　

All　in　all；　it　wasn't　exactly　what　I'd　been　expecting　from　a　pack　of　werewolves。　

I　spent　the　day　in　La　Push；　the　majority　of　it　in　Billy's　house。　He　left　a　message　on　Charlie's　phone　and　at　
the　station；　and　Charlie　showed　up　around　dinnertime　with　two　pizzas。　It　was　good　he　brought　two　
larges；　Jacob　ate　one　all　by　himself。　

I　saw　Charlie　eyeing　the　two　of　us　suspiciously　all　night；　especially　the　muchchanged　Jacob。　He　asked　
about　the　hair；　Jacob　shrugged　and　told　him　it　was　just　more　convenient。　

I　knew　that　as　soon　as　Charlie　and　I　were　headed　home；　Jacob　would　take　off—off　to　run　around　as　a　
wolf；　as　he　had　done　intermittently　through　the　entire　day。　He　and　his　brothers　of　sorts　kept　up　a　constant　
watch；　looking　for　some　sign　of　Victoria's　return。　But　since　they'd　chased　her　away　from　the　hot　springs　
last　night—chased　her　halfway　to　Canada；　according　to　Jacob—she'd　yet　to　make　another　foray。　

I　had　no　hope　at　all　that　she　might　just　give　up。　I　didn't　have　that　kind　of　luck。　

Jacob　walked　me　to　my　truck　after　dinner　and　lingered　by　the　window；　waiting　for　Charlie　to　drive　away　
first。　

〃Don't　be　afraid　tonight；〃　Jacob　said；　while　Charlie　pretended　to　be　having　trouble　with　his　seat　belt。　
〃We'll　be　out　there；　watching。〃　

〃I　won't　worry　about　myself；〃　I　promised。　

〃You're　silly。　Hunting　vampires　is　fun。　It's　the　best　part　of　this　whole　mess。〃　

I　shook　my　head。　〃If　I'm　silly；　then　you're　dangerously　unbalanced。〃　

He　chuckled。　〃Get　some　rest；　Bella；　honey。　You　look　exhausted。〃　

〃I'lltry。〃　

Charlie　honked　his　horn　impatiently。　

〃See　you　tomorrow；〃　Jacob　said。　〃e　down　first　thing。〃　

〃Iwill。〃　

Charlie　followed　me　home。　I　paid　scant　attention　to　the　lights　in　my　rearview　mirror。　Instead；　I　wondered　
where　Sam　and　Jared　and　Embry　and　Paul　were；　out　running　in　the　night。　I　wondered　if　Jacob　had　joined　
them　yet。　

When　we　got　home；　I　hurried　for　the　stairs；　but　Charlie　was　right　behind　me。　

〃What's　going　on；　Bella？〃　he　demanded　before　I　could　escape。　〃I　thought　Jacob　was　part　of　a　gang　and　
you　two　were　fighting。〃　

〃We　made　up。〃　

〃And　the　gang？〃　

〃I　don't　know—who　can　understand　teenage　boys？　They're　a　mystery。　But　I　met　Sam　Uley　and　his　
fiancee；　Emily。　The　seemed　pretty　nice　to　me。〃　I　shrugged。　〃Must　have　all　been　a　misunderstanding。〃　

His　face　changed。　〃I　hadn't　heard　that　he　and　Emily　had　made　it　official。　That's　nice。　Poor　girl。〃　

〃Do　you　know　what　happened　to　her？〃　

〃Mauled　by　a　bear；　up　north；　during　salmon　spawning　season—horrible　accident　It　was　more　than　a　year　
ago　now。　I　heard　Sam　was　really　messed　up　over　it。〃　

〃That's　horrible；〃　I　echoed。　More　than　a　year　ago。　I'd　bet　that　meant　it　had　happened　when　there　was　just　
one　werewolf　in　La　Push。　I　shuddered　at　the　thought　of　how　Sam　must　have　felt　every　time　he　looked　at　
Emily's　face。　

That　night；　I　lay　awake　for　a　long　time　trying　to　sort　through　the　day。　I　worked　my　way　backward　
through　dinner　with　Billy；　Jacob；　and　C　harlie；　to　the　long　afternoon　in　the　Blacks'　house；　waiting　
anxiously　to　hear　something　from　Jacob；　to　Emily's　kitchen；　to　the　horror　of　the　werewolf　fight；　to　talking　
with　Jacob　on　the　beach。　

I　thought　about　what　Jacob　had　said　early　this　morning；　about　hypocrisy。　I　thought　about　that　for　a　long　
time。　I　didn't　like　to　think　that　I　was　a　hypocrite；　only　what　was　the　point　of　lying　to　myself？　

I　curled　into　a　tight　ball。　No；　Edward　wasn't　a　killer。　Even　in　his　darker　past；　he'd　never　been　a　murderer　
of　innocents；　at　least。　

But　what　if　he　had　been？　What　if；　during　the　time　I　that　I'd　known　him；　he'd　been　just　like　any　other　
vampire？　What　if　people　had　been　disappearing　from　the　woods；　just　like　now？　Would　that　have　kept　
me　away　from　him？　

I　shook　my　head　sadly。　Love　is　irrational；　I　reminded　myself。　The　more　you　loved　someone；　the　less　
sense　anything　made。　

I　rolled　over　and　tried　to　think　of　something　else—and　I　thought　of　Jacob　and　his　brothers；　out　running　in　
the　darkness。　I　fell　asleep　imagining　the　wolves；　invisible　in　the　night；　guarding　me　from　danger。　When　I　

dreamed；　I　stood　in　the　forest　again；　but　I　didn't　wander。　I　was　holding　Emily's　scarred　hand　as　we　faced　
into　the　shadows　and　waited　anxiously　for　our　werewolves　to　e　home。　

15　PRESSURE　




IT　WAS　SPRING　BREAK　IN　FORKS　AGAIN。　WHEN　I　WOKE　UP　on　Monday　morning；　I　lay　in　
bed　for　a　few　seconds　absorbing　that。　Last　spring　break；　I'd　been　hunted　by　a　vampire；　too。　I　hoped　this　
wasn't　some　kind　of　tradition　forming。　

Already　I　was　falling　into　the　pattern　of　things　in　La　Push。　I'd　spent　Sunday　mostly　on　the　beach；　while　
Charlie　hung　out　with　Billy　at　the　Blacks'　house。　I　was　supposed　to　be　with　Jacob；　but　Jacob　had　other　
things　to　do；　so　I　wandered　alone；　keeping　the　secret　from　Charlie。　

When　Jacob　dropped　in　to　check　on　me；　he　apologized　for　ditching　me　so　much。　He　told　me　his　
schedule　wasn't　always　this　crazy；　but　until　Victoria　was　stopped；　the　wolves　were　on　red　alert。　

When　we　walked　along　the　beach　now；　he　always　held　my　hand。　

This　made　me　brood　over　what　Jared　had　said；　about　Jacob　involving　his　〃girlfriend。〃　I　supposed　that　that　
was　exactly　what　it　looked　like　from　the　outside。　As　long　as　Jake　and　I　knew　how　it　really　was；　I　
shouldn't　let　those　kinds　of　assumptions　bother　me。　And　maybe　they　wouldn't；　if　I　hadn't　known　that　
Jacob　would　have　loved　for　things　to　be　what　they　appeared。　But　his　hand　felt　nice　as　it　warmed　mine；　
and　I　didn't　protest。　

I　worked　Tuesday　afternoon—Jacob　followed　me　on　his　bike　to　make　sure　I　arrived　safely—and　Mike　
noticed。　

〃Are　you　dating　that　kid　from　La　Push？　The　sophomore？〃　He　asked；　poorly　disguising　the　resentment　in　
his　tone。　

I　shrugged。　〃Not　in　the　technical　sense　of　the　word。　I　do　spent　most　of　my　time　with　Jacob；　though。　He's　
my　best　friend。〃　

Mike's　eyes　narrowed　shrewdly。　〃Don't　kid　yourself；　Bella。　The　guy's　head　over　heels　for　you。〃　

〃I　know；〃　I　sighed。　〃Life　is　plicated。〃　

〃And　girls　are　cruel；〃　Mike　said　under　his　breath。　

I　supposed　that　was　an　easy　assumption　to　make；　too。　

That　night；　Sam　and　Emily　joined　Charlie　and　me　for　dessert　at　Billy's　house。　Emily　brought　a　cake　that　
would　have　won　over　a　harder　man　than　Charlie。　I　could　see；　as　the　conversation　flowed　naturally　
through　a　range　of　casual　subjects；　that　any　worries　Charlie　might　have　harbored　about　gangs　in　La　Push　
were　being　dissolved。　

Jake　and　I　skipped　out　early；　to　get　some　privacy。　We　went　out　to　his　garage　and　sat　in　the　Rabbit。　
Jacob　leaned　his　head　back；　his　face　drawn　with　exhaustion。　

〃You　need　some　sleep；　Jake。〃　

〃I'll　get　around　to　it。〃　

He　reached　over　and　took　my　hand。　His　skin　was　blazing　on　mine。　

〃Is　that　one　of　those　wolf　things？〃　I　asked　him。　〃The　heat；　I　mean。〃　

〃Yeah。　We　run　a　little　warmer　than　the　normal　people。　About　oneoheight；　oneohnine。　I　never　get　cold　
anymore。　I　could　stand　like　this〃—he　gestured　to　his　bare　torso—〃in　a　snowstorm　and　it　wouldn't　bother　
me。　The　flakes　would　turn　to　rain　where　I　stood。〃　

〃And　you　all　heal　fast—that's　a　wolf　thing；　too？〃　

〃Yeah；　wanna　see？　It's　pretty　cool。〃　His　eyes　flipped　open　and　he　grinned。　He　reached　around　me　to　the　
glove　partment　and　dug　around　for　a　minute。　His　hand　came　out　with　a　pocketknife。　

〃No；　I　do　not　want　to　see！〃　I　shouted　as　soon　as　I　realized　what　he　was　thinking。　〃Put　that　away！〃　

Jacob　chuckled；　but　shoved　the　knife　back　where　it　belonged。　〃Fine。　It's　a　good　thing　we　heal；　though。　
You　can't　go　see　just　any　doctor　when　you're　running　a　temperature　that　should　mean　you're　dead。〃　

〃No；　I　guess　not。〃　I　thought　about　that　for　a　minute。　〃…　And　being　so　big—that's　part　of　it？　Is　that　why　
you're　all　worried　about　Quil？〃　

〃That　and　the　fact　that　Quil's　grandfather　says　the　kid　could　fry　an　egg　on　his　forehead。〃　Jacob's　face　
turned　hopeless。　〃It　won't　be　long　now。　There's　no　exact　age…　it　just　builds　and　builds　and　then　
suddenly—〃　He　broke　off；　and　it　was　a　moment　before　he　could　speak　again。　〃Sometimes；　if　you　get　
really　upset　or　something；　that　can　trigger　it　early。　But　I　wasn't　upset　about　anything—I　was　happy。〃　He　
laughed　bitterly。　〃Because　of　you；　mostly。　That's　why　it　didn't　happen　to　me　sooner。　Instead　it　just　kept　
on　building　up　inside　me—I　was　like　a　time　bomb。　You　know　what　set　me　off？　I　got　back　from　that　
movie　and　Billy　said　I　looked　weird。　That　was　all；　but　I　just　snapped。　And　then　I—I　exploded。　I　almost　
ripped　his　face　off—my　own　father！〃　He　shuddered；　and　his　face　paled。　

〃Is　it　really　bad；　Jake？〃　I　asked　anxiously；　wishing　I　had　some　way　to　help　him。　〃Are　you　miserable？〃　

〃No；　I'm　not　miserable；〃　he　told　me。　〃Not　anymore。　Not　now　that　you　know。　That　was　hard；　before。〃　He　
leaned　over　so　that　his　cheek　was　resting　on　top　of　my　head。　

He　was　quiet　for　a　moment；　and　I　wondered　what　he　was　thinking　about。　Maybe　I　didn't　want　to　know。　

〃What's　the　hardest　part？〃　I　whispered；　still　wishing　I　could　help。　

〃The　hardest　part　is　feeling…　out　of　control；〃　he　said　slowly。　〃Feeling　like　I　can't　be　sure　of　myself—like　
maybe　you　shouldn't　be　around　me；　like　maybe　nobody　should。　Like　I'm　a　monster　who　might　hurt　
somebody。　You've　seen　Emily。　Sam　lost　control　of　his　temper　for　just　one　second…　and　she　was　
standing　too　close。　And　now　there's　nothing　he　can　ever　do　to　put　it　right　again。　I　hear　his　thoughts—I　
know　what　that　feels　like…　

〃Who　wants　to　be　a　nightmare；　a　monster？　

〃And　then；　the　way　it　es　so　easily　to　me；　the　way　I'm　better　at　it　than　the　rest　of　them—does　that　
make　me　even　less　human　than　Enbry　or　Sam？　Sometimes　I'm　afraid　that　I'm　losing　myself。〃　

〃Is　it　hard？　To　find　yourself　again？〃　

〃At　first；〃　he　said。　〃It　takes　some　practice　to　phase　back　and　forth。　But　it's　easier　tor　me。〃　

〃Why？〃　I　wondered。　

〃Because　Ephraim　Black　was　my　father's　grandfather；　and　Quil　Ateara　was　my　mother's　grandfather。〃　

〃Quil？〃　I　asked　in　confusion。　

〃His　greatgrandfather；〃　Jacob　clarified。　〃The　Quil　you　know　is　my　second　cousin。〃　

〃But　why　does　it　matter　who　your　greatgrandfathers　are？〃　

〃Because