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　if　she　had　time　to　scream；　there　would　be　no　one　to　hear。　That　would　be　the　responsible　way　to　deal　with　this。　I　d　gone　seven　decades　without　human　blood。　If　I　held　my　breath；　I　could　last　two　hours。　And　when　I　had　her　alone；　there　would　be　no　chance　of　anyone　else　getting　hurt。　And　no　reason　to　rush　through　the　experience；　the　monster　in　my　head　agreed。　It　was　sophistry　to　think　that　by　saving　the　nieen　humans　in　this　room　with　effort　and　patience；　I　would　be　less　a　monster　when　I　killed　this　innocent　girl。　Though　I　hated　her；　I　knew　my　hatred　was　unjust。　I　knew　that　what　I　really　hated　was　myself。　And　I　would　hate　us　both　so　much　more　when　she　was　dead。　I　made　it　through　the　hour　in　this　way　imagining　the　best　ways　to　kill　her。　I　tried　to　avoid　imagining　the　actual　act。　That　might　be　too　much　for　me；　I　might　lose　this　battle　and　end　up　killing　everyone　in　sight。　So　I　planned　strategy；　and　nothing　more。　It　carried　me　through　the　hour。　Once；　toward　the　I　could　feel　the　reflection　of　it　hide　in　her　hair　again；　and　I　was　very　end；　she　peeked　up　at　me　through　the　fluid　wall　of　her　hair。　unjustified　hatred　burning　out　of　me　as　I　met　her　gaze　see　the　in　her　frightened　eyes。　Blood　painted　her　cheek　before　she　could　nearly　undone。　But　the　bell　rang。　Saved　by　the　bell　how　clich　。　We　were　both　saved。　She；　saved　from　death。　I；　saved　for　just　a　short　time　from　being　the　nightmarish　creature　I　feared　and　loathed。　I　couldn　t　walk　as　slowly　as　I　should　as　I　darted　from　the　room。　If　anyone　had　been　looking　at　me；　they　might　have　suspected　that　there　was　something　not　right　about　the　way　I　moved。　No　one　was　paying　attention　to　me。　All　human　thoughts　still　swirled　around　the　girl　who　was　condemned　to　die　in　little　more　than　an　hour　s　time。　I　hid　in　my　car。　I　didn　t　like　to　think　of　myself　having　to　hide。　it　was　unquestionably　the　case　now。　How　cowardly　that　sounded。　But　I　didn　t　have　enough　discipline　left　to　be　around　humans　now。　Focusing　so　much　of　my　efforts　on　not　killing　one　of　them　left　me　no　resources　to　resist　the　others。　What　a　waste　that　would　be。　If　I　were　to　give　in　to　the　monster；　I　might　as　well　make　it　worth　the　defeat。　I　played　a　CD　of　music　that　usually　calmed　me；　but　it　did　little　for　me　now。　No；　what　helped　most　now　was　the　cool；　wet；　clean　air　that　drifted　with　the　light　rain　through　my　open　windows。　Though　I　could　remember　the　scent　of　Bella　Swan　s　blood　with　perfect　clarity；　inhaling　the　clean　air　was　like　washing　out　the　inside　of　my　body　from　its　infection。　I　was　sane　again。　I　could　think　again。　against　what　I　didn　t　want　to　be。　And　I　could　fight　again。　I　could　fight

I　didn　t　have　to　go　to　her　home。　I　didn　t　have　to　kill　her。　Obviously；　I　was　a　rational；　thinking　creature；　and　I　had　a　choice。　There　was　always　a　choice。　It　hadn　t　felt　that　way　in　the　classroom　but　I　was　away　from　her　now。　Perhaps；　if　I　avoided　her　very；　very　carefully；　there　was　no　need　for　my　life　to　change。　I　had　things　ordered　the　way　I　liked　them　now。　Why　should　I　let　some　aggravating　and　delicious　nobody　ruin　that？　I　didn　t　have　to　disappoint　my　father。　I　didn　t　have　to　cause　my　mother　stress；　worry　pain。　Yes；　it　would　hurt　my　adopted　mother；　too。　And　Esme　was　so　gentle；　so　tender　and　soft。　Causing　someone　like　Esme　pain　was　truly　inexcusable。　How　ironic　that　I　d　wanted　to　protect　this　human　girl　from　the　paltry；　toothless　threat　of　Jessica　Stanley　s　snide　thoughts。　I　was　the　last　person　who　would　ever　stand　as　a　protector　for　Isabella　Swan。　She　would　never　need　protection　from　anything　more　than　she　needed　it　from　me。　Where　was　Alice；　I　suddenly　wondered？　Hadn　t　she　seen　me　killing　the　Swan　girl　in　a　multitude　of　ways？　Why　hadn　t　she　e　to　help　to　stop　me　or　help　me　clean　up　the　evidence；　whichever？　Was　she　so　absorbed　with　watching　for　trouble　with　Jasper　that　she　d　missed　this　much　more　horrific　possibility？　Was　I　stronger　than　I　thought？　Would　I　really　not　have　done　anything　to　the　girl？　No。　I　knew　that　wasn　t　true。　Alice　must　be　concentrating　on　Jasper　very　hard。　I　searched　in　the　direction　I　knew　she　would　be；　in　the　small　building　used　for　English　classes。　It　did　not　take　me　long　to　locate　her　familiar　voice。　And　I　was　right。　Her　every　thought　was　turned　to　Jasper；　watching　his　small　choices　with　minute　scrutiny。　I　wished　I　could　ask　her　advice；　but　at　the　same　time；　I　was　glad　she　didn　t　know　what　I　was　capable　of。　That　she　was　unaware　of　the　massacre　I　had　considered　in　the　last　hour。　I　felt　a　new　burn　through　my　body　the　burn　of　shame。　know。　I　didn　t　want　any　of　them　to　If　I　could　avoid　Bella　Swan；　if　I　could　manage　not　to　kill　her　even　as　I　thought　that；　the　monster　writhed　and　gnashed　his　teeth　in　frustration　then　no　one　would　have　to　know。　If　I　could　keep　away　from　her　scent　There　was　no　reason　why　I　shouldn　t　try；　at　least。　what　Carlisle　thought　I　was。　The　last　hour　of　school　was　almost　over。　I　decided　to　put　my　new　plan　into　action　at　once。　Better　than　sitting　here　in　the　parking　lot　where　she　might　pass　me　and　ruin　my　attempt。　Again；　I　felt　the　unjust　hatred　for　the　girl。　I　hated　that　she　had　this　unconscious　power　over　me。　That　she　could　make　me　be　something　I　reviled。　I　walked　swiftly　a　little　too　swiftly；　but　there　were　no　witnesses　across　the　tiny　campus　to　the　office。　There　was　no　reason　for　Bella　Swan　to　cross　paths　with　me。　She　would　be　avoided　like　the　plague　she　was。　The　office　was　empty　except　for　the　secretary；　the　one　I　wanted　to　see。　She　didn　t　notice　my　silent　entrance。　Make　a　good　choice。　Try　to　be

Mrs。　Cope？　The　woman　with　the　unnaturally　red　hair　looked　up　and　her　eyes　widened。　It　always　caught　them　off　guard；　the　little　markers　they　didn　t　understand；　no　matter　how　many　times　they　d　seen　one　of　us　before。　Oh；　she　gasped；　a　little　flustered。　She　smoothed　her　shirt。　Silly；　she　thought　to　herself。　He　s　almost　young　enough　to　be　my　son。　Too　young　to　think　of　that　way　Hello；　Edward。　glasses。　What　can　I　do　for　you？　Her　eyelashes　fluttered　behind　her　thick　Unfortable。　But　I　knew　how　to　be　charming　when　I　wanted　to　be。　It　was　easy；　since　I　was　able　to　know　instantly　how　any　tone　or　gesture　was　taken。　I　leaned　forward；　meeting　her　gaze　as　if　I　were　staring　deeply　into　her　depthless；　small　brown　eyes。　Her　thoughts　were　already　in　a　flutter。　This　should　be　simple。　I　was　wondering　if　you　could　help　me　with　my　schedule；　I　said　in　the　soft　voice　I　reserved　for　not　scaring　humans。　I　heard　the　tempo　of　her　heart　increase。　Of　course；　Edward。　How　can　I　help？　Too　young；　too　young；　she　chanted　to　herself。　Wrong；　of　course。　I　was　older　than　her　grandfather。　But　according　to　my　driver　s　license；　she　was　right。　I　was　wondering　if　I　could　move　from　my　biology　class　to　a　senior　level　science？　Physics；　perhaps？　It　there　a　problem　with　Mr。　Banner；　Edward？　Not　at　all；　it　s　just　that　I　ve　already　studied　this　material　In　that　accelerated　school　you　all　went　to　in　Alaska；　right。　pursed　as　she　considered　this。　They　should　all　be　in　college。　teachers　plain。　Her　thin　lips　I　ve　heard　the　Perfect　four　point　ohs；　never　a　hesitation　with　a　response；　never　a　wrong　answer　on　a　test　like　they　ve　found　some　way　to　cheat　in　every　subject。　Mr。　Varner　would　rather　believe　that　anyone　was　cheating　than　think　a　student　was　smarter　than　him　I　ll　bet　their　mother　tutors　them　Actually；　Edward；　physics　is　pretty　much　full　right　now。　Mr。　Banner　hates　to　have　more　than　twentyfive　students　in　a　class　I　wouldn　t　be　any　trouble。　Of　course　not。　Not　a　perfect　Cullen。　aren　t　enough　seats　as　it　is　I　know　that；　Edward。　But　there　just　Could　I　drop　the　class；　then？　I　could　use　the　period　for　independent　study。　Drop　biology？　He　mouth　fell　open。　That　s　crazy。　How　hard　is　it　to　sit　through　a　subject　you　already　know？　There　must　be　a　problem　with　Mr。　Banner。　I　wonder　if　I　should　talk　to　Bob　about　it？　You　won　t　have　enough　credits　to　graduate。

I　ll　catch　up　next　year。　Maybe　you　should　talk　to　your　parents　about　that。　The　door　opened　behind　me；　but　who　ever　it　was　did　not　think　of　me；　so　I　ignored　the　arrival　and　concentrated　on　Mrs。　Cope。　I　leaned　slightly　closer；　and　held　my　eyes　a　little　wider。　This　would　work　better　if　they　were　gold　instead　of　black。　The　blackness　frightened　people；　as　it　should。　Please；　Mrs。　Cope？　I　made　my　voice　as　smooth　and　pelling　as　it　could　be　and　it　could　be　considerably　pelling。　Isn　t　there　some　other　section　I　could　switch　to？　I　m　sure　there　has　to　be　an　open　slot　somewhere？　Sixth　hour　biology　can　t　be　the　only　option　I　smiled　at　her；　careful　not　to　flash　my　teeth　so　widely　that　it　would　scare　her；　letting　the　expression　soften　my　face。　Her　heart　drummed　faster。　Too　young；　she　reminded　herself　frantically。　maybe　I　could　talk　to　Bob　I　mean　Mr。　Banner。　I　could　see　if　Well；　A　second　was　all　it　took　to　change　everything：　the　atmosphere　in　the　room；　my　mission　here；　the　reason　I　leaned　toward　the　redhaired　woman　What　had　been　for　one　purpose　before　was　now　for　another。　A　second　was　all　it　took　for　Samantha　Wells　to　open　the　door　and　place　a　signed　tardy　slip　in　the　basket　by　the　door；　and　hurry　out　again；　in　a　rush　to　be　away　from　school。　A　second　was　all　it　took　for　the　sudden　gust　of　wind　through　the　open　door　to　crash　into　me。　A　second　was　all　it　took　for　me　to　realize　why　that　first　person　through　the　door　had　not　interrupted　me　with　her　thoughts。　I　turned；　though　I　did　not　need　to　make　sure。　control　the　muscles　that　rebelled　against　me。　I　turned　slowly；　fighting　to　Bella　Swan　stood　with　her　back　pressed　to　the　wall　beside　the　door；　a　piece　of　paper　clutched　in　her　hands。　Her　eyes　were　even　wider　than　usual　as　she　took　in　my　ferocious；　inhuman　glare。　The　smell　of　her　blood　saturated　every　particle　of　air　in　the　tiny；　hot　room。　My　throat　burst　into　flames。　The　monster　glared　back　at　me　from　the　mirror　of　her　eyes　again；　a　mask　of　evil。　My　hand　hesitated　in　the　air　above　the　counter。　I　would　not　have　to　look　back　in　order　to　reach　across　it　and　slam　Mrs。　Cope　s　head　into　her　desk　with　enough　force　to　kill　her。　Two　lives；　rather　than　twenty。　A　trade。　The　monster　waited　anxiously；　hungrily；　for　me　to　do　it。　But　there　was　always　a　choice　there　had　to　be。　I　cut　off　the　motion　of　my　lungs；　and　fixed　Carlisle　s　face　in　front　of　my　eyes。　I　turned　back　to　face　Mrs。　Cope；　and　heard　her　internal　surprise　at　the　change　in　my　expression。　She　shrank　away　from　me；　but　her　fear　did　not　form　into　coherent　words。　Using　all　the　control　I　d　mastered　in　my　decades　of　selfdenial；　I　made　my　voice　even　and　smooth。　There　was　just　enough　air　left　in　my　lungs　to　speak　once　more；　rushing　through　the　words。　Nevermind；　then。　I　can　see　that　it　s　impossible。　Thank　you　so　much　for　your

help。　I　spun　and　launched　myself　from　the　room；　trying　not　to　feel　the　warmblooded　heat　of　the　girl　s　body　as　I　passed　within　inches　of　it。　I　didn　t　stop　until　I　was　in　my　car；　moving　too　fast　the　entire　way　there。　Most　of　the　humans　had　cleared　out　already；　so　there　weren　t　a　lot　of　witnesses。　I　heard　a　sophomore；　D。J。　Garrett；　notice；　and　then　disregard　Where　did　Cullen　e　from　it　was　like　he　just　came　out　of　thin　air　with　the　imagination　again。　Mom　always　says　There　I　go；　When　I　slid　into　my　Volvo；　the　others　were　already　there。　I　tried　to　control　my　breathing；　but　I　was　gasping　at　the　fresh　air　like　I　d　been　suffocated。　Edward？　Alice　asked；　alarm　in　her　voice。　I　just　shook　my　head　at　her。　What　the　hell　happened　to　you？　Emmett　demanded；　distracted；　for　the　moment；　from　the　fact　that　Jasper　was　not　in　the　mood　for　his　rematch。　Instead　of　answering；　I　threw　the　car　into　reverse。　I　had　to　get　out　of　this　lot　before　Bella　Swan　could　follow　me　here；　too。　My　own　person　demon；　haunting　me　I　swung　the　car　around　and　accelerated。　I　hit　forty　before　I　was　on　the　road。　On　the　road；　I　hit　seventy　before　I　made　the　corner。　Without　looking；　I　knew　that　Emmett；　Rosalie　and　Jasper　had　all　turned　to　stare　at　Alice。　She　shrugged。　She　couldn　t　see　what　had　passed；　only　what　was　ing。　She　looked　ahead　for　me　now。　were　both　surprised。　We　both　processed　what　she　saw　in　her　head；　and　we　You　re　leaving？　she　whispered。　The　others　stared　at　me　now。　Am　I？　I　hissed　through　my　teeth。　She　saw　it　then；　as　my　resolve　wavered　and　another　choice　spun　my　future　in　a　darker　direction。　Oh。　Bella　Swan；　dead。　My　eyes；　glowing　crimson　with　fresh　blood。　The　search　that　would　follow。　The　careful　time　we　would　wait　before　it　was　safe　for　us　to　pull　out　and　start　again　Oh；　she　said　again。　The　picture　grew　more　specific。　I　saw　the　inside　of　Chief　Swan　s　house　for　the　first　time；　saw　Bella　in　a　small　kitchen　with　the　yellow　cupboards；　her　back　to　me　as　I　stalked　her　from　the　shadows　let　the　scent　pull　me　toward　her　Stop！　I　groaned；　not　able　to　bear　more。　Sorry；　she　whispered；　her　eyes　wide。　The　monster　rejoiced。

And　the　vision　in　her　head　shifted　again。　An　empty　highway　at　night；　the　trees　beside　it　coated　in　snow；　flashing　by　at　almost　two　hundred　miles　per　hour。　I　ll　miss　you；　she　said。　No　matter　how　short　a　time　you　re　gone。　Emmett　and　Rosalie　exchanged　an　apprehensive　glance。　We　were　almost　to　the　turn　off　onto　the　long　drive　that　led　to　our　home。　Drop　us　here；　Alice　instructed。　You　should　tell　Carlisle　yourself。　I　nodded；　and　the　car　squealed　to　a　sudden　stop。　Emmett；　Rosalie　and　Jasper　got　out　in　silence；　they　would　make　Alice　explain　when　I　was　gone。　Alice　touched　my　shoulder。　You　will　do　the　right　thing；　she　murmured。　Not　a　vision　this　time　an　order。　She　s　Charlie　Swan　s　only　family。　It　would　kill　him；　too。　Yes；　I　said；　agreeing　only　with　the　last　part。　She　slid　out　to　join　the　others；　her　eyebrows　pulling　together　in　anxiety。　melted　into　woods；　out　of　sight　before　I　could　turn　the　car　around。　They　I　accelerated　back　toward　town；　and　I　knew　the　visions　in　Alice　s　head　would　be　flashing　from　dark　to　bright　like　a　strobe　light。　As　I　sped　back　to　Forks　doing　niy；　I　wasn　t　sure　where　I　was　going。　To　say　goodbye　to　my　father？　Or　to　embrace　the　monster　inside　me？　The　road　flew　away　beneath　my　tires。

2。　Open　Book　I　leaned　back　against　the　soft　snow　bank；　letting　the　dry　powder　reshape　itself　around　my　weight。　My　skin　had　cooled　to　match　the　air　around　me；　and　the　tiny　pieces　of　ice　felt　like　velvet　under　my　skin。　The　sky　above　me　was　clear；　brilliant　with　stars；　glowing　blue　in　some　places；　yellow　in　others。　The　stars　created　majestic；　swirling　shapes　against　the　black　universe　an　awesome　sight。　Exquisitely　beautiful。　Or　rather；　it　should　have　been　exquisite。　Would　have　been；　if　I　d　been　able　to　really　see　it。　It　wasn　t　getting　any　better。　Six　days　had　passed；　six　days　I　d　hidden　here　in　the　empty　Denali　wilderness；　but　I　was　no　closer　to　freedom　than　I　had　been　since　the　first　moment　that　I　d　caught　her　scent。　When　I　stared　up　at　the　jeweled　sky；　it　was　as　if　there　were　an　obstruction　between　my　eyes　and　their　beauty。　The　obstruction　was　a　face；　just　an　unremarkable　human　face；　but　I　couldn　t　quite　seem　to　banish　it　from　my　mind。　I　heard　the　approaching　thoughts　before　I　heard　the　footsteps　that　acpanied　them。　The　sound　of　movement　was　only　a　faint　whisper　against　the　powder。　I　was　not　surprised　that　Tanya　had　followed　me　here。　I　knew　she　d　been　mulling　over　this　ing　conversation　for　the　last　few　days；　putting　it　off　until　she　was　sure　of　exactly　what　she　wanted　to　say。　She　sprang　into　sight　about　sixty　yards　away；　leaping　onto　the　tip　of　an　outcropping　of　black　rock　and　balancing　there　on　the　balls　of　her　bare　feet。　Tanya　s　skin　was　silver　in　the　starlight；