1 twilight暮色-第19部分

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relax　my　rigid　muscles。　Then　I　stood　in　the　shower；　too　tired　to　move；　
until　the　hot　water　began　to　run　out。　

I　stumbled　out；　wrapping　myself　securely　in　a　towel；　trying　to　hold　the　
heat　from　the　water　in　so　the　aching　shivers　wouldn't　return。　I　dressed　
for　bed　swiftly　and　climbed　under　my　quilt；　curling　into　a　ball；　hugging　
myself　to　keep　warm。　A　few　small　shudders　trembled　through　me。　

My　mind　still　swirled　dizzily；　full　of　images　I　couldn't　understand；　and　
some　I　fought　to　repress。　Nothing　seemed　clear　at　first；　but　as　I　fell　
gradually　closer　to　unconsciousness；　a　few　certainties　became　evident。　

About　three　things　I　was　absolutely　positive。　First；　Edward　was　a　
vampire。　Second；　there　was　part　of　him　—　and　I　didn't　know　how　potent　
that　part　might　be　—　that　thirsted　for　my　blood。　And　third；　I　was　
unconditionally　and　irrevocably　in　love　with　him。　

===========================================================================　


10。　INTERROGATIONS　




It　was　very　hard；　in　the　morning；　to　argue　with　the　part　of　me　that　was　
sure　last　night　was　a　dream。　Logic　wasn't　on　my　side；　or　mon　sense。　I　
clung　to　the　parts　I　couldn't　have　imagined　—　like　his　smell。　I　was　sure　
I　could　never　have　dreamed　that　up　on　my　own。　

It　was　foggy　and　dark　outside　my　window；　absolutely　perfect。　He　had　no　
reason　not　to　be　in　school　today。　I　dressed　in　my　heavy　clothes；　
remembering　I　didn't　have　a　jacket。　Further　proof　that　my　memory　was　real。　

When　I　got　downstairs；　Charlie　was　gone　again　—　I　was　running　later　than　
I'd　realized。　I　swallowed　a　granola　bar　in　three　bites；　chased　it　down　
with　milk　straight　from　the　carton；　and　then　hurried　out　the　door。　
Hopefully　the　rain　would　hold　off　until　I　could　find　Jessica。　

It　was　unusually　foggy；　the　air　was　almost　smoky　with　it。　The　mist　was　
ice　cold　where　it　clung　to　the　exposed　skin　on　my　face　and　neck。　I　
couldn't　wait　to　get　the　heat　going　in　my　truck。　It　was　such　a　thick　fog　
that　I　was　a　few　feet　down　the　driveway　before　I　realized　there　was　a　car　
in　it：　a　silver　car。　My　heart　thudded；　stuttered；　and　then　picked　up　
again　in　double　time。　

I　didn't　see　where　he　came　from；　but　suddenly　he　was　there；　pulling　the　
door　open　for　me。　

〃Do　you　want　to　ride　with　me　today？〃　he　asked；　amused　by　my　expression　as　
he　caught　me　by　surprise　yet　again。　There　was　uncertainty　in　his　voice。　
He　was　really　giving　me　a　choice　—　I　was　free　to　refuse；　and　part　of　him　
hoped　for　that。　It　was　a　vain　hope。　

〃Yes；　thank　you；〃　I　said；　trying　to　keep　my　voice　calm。　As　I　stepped　into　
the　warm　car；　I　noticed　his　tan　jacket　was　slung　over　the　headrest　of　the　
passenger　seat。　The　door　closed　behind　me；　and；　sooner　than　should　be　
possible；　he　was　sitting　next　to　me；　starting　the　car。　

〃I　brought　the　jacket　for　you。　I　didn't　want　you　to　get　sick　or　
something。〃　His　voice　was　guarded。　I　noticed　that　he　wore　no　jacket　
himself；　just　a　light　gray　knit　Vneck　shirt　with　long　sleeves。　Again；　
the　fabric　clung　to　his　perfectly　muscled　chest。　It　was　a　colossal　
tribute　to　his　face　that　it　kept　my　eyes　away　from　his　body。　

〃I'm　not　quite　that　delicate；〃　I　said；　but　I　pulled　the　jacket　onto　my　
lap；　pushing　my　arms　through　the　toolong　sleeves；　curious　to　see　if　the　
scent　could　possibly　be　as　good　as　I　remembered。　It　was　better。　

〃Aren't　you？〃　he　contradicted　in　a　voice　so　low　I　wasn't　sure　if　he　meant　
for　me　to　hear。　

We　drove　through　the　fogshrouded　streets；　always　too　fast；　feeling　
awkward。　I　was；　at　least。　Last　night　all　the　walls　were　down…　almost　all。　

I　didn't　know　if　we　were　still　being　as　candid　today。　It　left　me　
tonguetied。　I　waited　for　him　to　speak。　

He　turned　to　smirk　at　me。　〃What；　no　twenty　questions　today？〃　

〃Do　my　questions　bother　you？〃　I　asked；　relieved。　

〃Not　as　much　as　your　reactions　do。〃　He　looked　like　he　was　joking；　but　I　
couldn't　be　sure。　

I　frowned。　〃Do　I　react　badly？〃　

〃No；　that's　the　problem。　You　take　everything　so　coolly　—　it's　unnatural。　
It　makes　me　wonder　what　you're　really　thinking。〃　

〃I　always　tell　you　what　I'm　really　thinking。〃　

〃You　edit；〃　he　accused。　

〃Not　very　much。〃　

〃Enough　to　drive　me　insane。〃　

〃You　don't　want　to　hear　it；〃　I　mumbled；　almost　whispered。　As　soon　as　the　
words　were　out；　I　regretted　them。　The　pain　in　my　voice　was　very　faint；　I　
could　only　hope　he　hadn't　noticed　it。　

He　didn't　respond；　and　I　wondered　if　I　had　ruined　the　mood。　His　face　was　
unreadable　as　we　drove　into　the　school　parking　lot。　Something　occurred　to　
me　belatedly。　

〃Where's　the　rest　of　your　family？〃　I　asked　—　more　than　glad　to　be　alone　
with　him；　but　remembering　that　his　car　was　usually　full。　

〃They　took　Rosalie's　car。〃　He　shrugged　as　he　parked　next　to　a　glossy　red　
convertible　with　the　top　up。　〃Ostentatious；　isn't　it？〃　

〃Um；　wow；〃　I　breathed。　〃If　she　has　that；　why　does　she　ride　with　you？〃　

〃Like　I　said；　it's　ostentatious。　We　try　to　blend　in。〃　

〃You　don't　succeed。〃　I　laughed　and　shook　my　head　as　we　got　out　of　the　
car。　I　wasn't　late　anymore；　his　lunatic　driving　had　gotten　me　to　school　
in　plenty　of　time。　〃So　why　did　Rosalie　drive　today　if　it's　more　
conspicuous？〃　

〃Hadn't　you　noticed？　I'm　breaking　all　the　rules　now。〃　He　met　me　at　the　
front　of　the　car；　staying　very　close　to　my　side　as　we　walked　onto　campus。　
I　wanted　to　close　that　little　distance；　to　reach　out　and　touch　him；　but　I　
was　afraid　he　wouldn't　like　me　to。　

〃Why　do　you　have　cars　like　that　at　all？〃　I　wondered　aloud。　〃If　you're　
looking　for　privacy？〃　

〃An　indulgence；〃　he　admitted　with　an　impish　smile。　〃We　all　like　to　drive　
fast。〃　

〃Figures；〃　I　muttered　under　my　breath。　

Under　the　shelter　of　the　cafeteria　roof's　overhang；　Jessica　was　waiting；　
her　eyes　about　to　bug　out　of　their　sockets。　Over　her　arm；　bless　her；　was　
my　jacket。　

〃Hey；　Jessica；〃　I　said　when　we　were　a　few　feet　away。　〃Thanks　for　
remembering。〃　She　handed　me　my　jacket　without　speaking。　

〃Good　morning；　Jessica；〃　Edward　said　politely。　It　wasn't　really　his　fault　
that　his　voice　was　so　irresistible。　Or　what　his　eyes　were　capable　of。　

〃Er…　hi。〃　She　shifted　her　wide　eyes　to　me；　trying　to　gather　her　jumbled　
thoughts。　〃I　guess　I'll　see　you　in　Trig。〃　She　gave　me　a　meaningful　look；　
and　I　suppressed　a　sigh。　What　on　earth　was　I　going　to　tell　her？　

〃Yeah；　I'll　see　you　then。〃　

She　walked　away；　pausing　twice　to　peek　back　over　her　shoulder　at　us。　

〃What　are　you　going　to　tell　her？〃　Edward　murmured。　

〃Hey；　I　thought　you　couldn't　read　my　mind！〃　I　hissed。　

〃I　can't；〃　he　said；　startled。　Then　understanding　brightened　his　eyes。　
〃However；　I　can　read　hers　—　she'll　be　waiting　to　ambush　you　in　class。〃　

I　groaned　as　I　pulled　off　his　jacket　and　handed　it　to　him；　replacing　it　
with　my　own。　He　folded　it　over　his　arm。　

〃So　what　are　you　going　to　tell　her？〃　

〃A　little　help？〃　I　pleaded。　〃What　does　she　want　to　know？〃　

He　shook　his　head；　grinning　wickedly。　〃That's　not　fair。〃　

〃No；　you　not　sharing　what　you　know　—　now　that's　not　fair。〃　

He　deliberated　for　a　moment　as　we　walked。　We　stopped　outside　the　door　to　
my　first　class。　

〃She　wants　to　know　if　we're　secretly　dating。　And　she　wants　to　know　how　
you　feel　about　me；〃　he　finally　said。　

〃Yikes。　What　should　I　say？〃　I　tried　to　keep　my　expression　very　innocent。　
People　were　passing　us　on　their　way　to　class；　probably　staring；　but　I　was　
barely　aware　of　them。　

〃Hmmm。〃　He　paused　to　catch　a　stray　lock　of　hair　that　was　escaping　the　
twist　on　my　neck　and　wound　it　back　into　place。　My　heart　spluttered　
hyperactively。　〃I　suppose　you　could　say　yes　to　the　first…　if　you　don't　
mind　—　it's　easier　than　any　other　explanation。〃　

〃I　don't　mind；〃　I　said　in　a　faint　voice。　

〃And　as　for　her　other　question…　well；　I'll　be　listening　to　hear　the　
answer　to　that　one　myself。〃　One　side　of　his　mouth　pulled　up　into　my　
favorite　uneven　smile。　I　couldn't　catch　my　breath　soon　enough　to　respond　
to　that　remark。　He　turned　and　walked　away。　

〃I'll　see　you　at　lunch；〃　he　called　over　his　shoulder。　Three　people　
walking　in　the　door　stopped　to　stare　at　me。　

I　hurried　into　class；　flushed　and　irritated。　He　was　such　a　cheater。　Now　I　
was　even　more　worried　about　what　I　was　going　to　say　to　Jessica。　I　sat　in　
my　usual　seat；　slamming　my　bag　down　in　aggravation。　

〃Morning；　Bella；〃　Mike　said　from　the　seat　next　to　me。　I　looked　up　to　see　
an　odd；　almost　resigned　look　on　his　face。　〃How　was　Port　Angeles？〃　

〃It　was…〃　There　was　no　honest　way　to　sum　it　up。　〃Great；〃　I　finished　
lamely。　〃Jessica　got　a　really　cute　dress。〃　

〃Did　she　say　anything　about　Monday　night？〃　he　asked；　his　eyes　
brightening。　I　smiled　at　the　turn　the　conversation　had　taken。　

〃She　said　she　had　a　really　good　time；〃　I　assured　him。　

〃She　did？〃　he　said　eagerly。　

〃Most　definitely。〃　

Mr。　Mason　called　the　class　to　order　then；　asking　us　to　turn　in　our　
papers。　English　and　then　Government　passed　in　a　blur；　while　I　worried　
about　how　to　explain　things　to　Jessica　and　agonized　over　whether　Edward　
would　really　be　listening　to　what　I　said　through　the　medium　of　Jess's　
thoughts。　How　very　inconvenient　his　little　talent　could　be　—　when　it　

wasn't　saving　my　life。　

The　fog　had　almost　dissolved　by　the　end　of　the　second　hour；　but　the　day　
was　still　dark　with　low；　oppressing　clouds。　I　smiled　up　at　the　sky。　

Edward　was　right；　of　course。　When　I　walked　into　Trig　Jessica　was　sitting　
in　the　back　row；　nearly　bouncing　off　her　seat　in　agitation。　I　reluctantly　
went　to　sit　by　her；　trying　to　convince　myself　it　would　be　better　to　get　
it　over　with　as　soon　as　possible。　

〃Tell　me　everything！〃　she　manded　before　I　was　in　the　seat。　

〃What　do　you　want　to　know？〃　I　hedged。　

〃What　happened　last　night？〃　

〃He　bought　me　dinner；　and　then　he　drove　me　home。〃　

She　glared　at　me；　her　expression　stiff　with　skepticism。　〃How　did　you　get　
home　so　fast？〃　

〃He　drives　like　a　maniac。　It　was　terrifying。〃　I　hoped　he　heard　that。　

〃Was　it　like　a　date　—　did　you　tell　him　to　meet　you　there？〃　

I　hadn't　thought　of　that。　〃No　—　I　was　very　surprised　to　see　him　there。〃　

Her　lips　puckered　in　disappointment　at　the　transparent　honesty　in　my　
voice。　

〃But　he　picked　you　up　for　school　today？〃　she　probed。　

〃Yes　—　that　was　a　surprise；　too。　He　noticed　I　didn't　have　a　jacket　last　
night；〃　I　explained。　

〃So　are　you　going　out　again？〃　

〃He　offered　to　drive　me　to　Seattle　Saturday　because　he　thinks　toy　truck　
isn't　up　to　it　—　does　that　count？〃　

〃Yes。〃　She　nodded。　

〃Well；　then；　yes。〃　

〃Wow。〃　She　exaggerated　the　word　into　three　syllables。　〃Edward　Cullen。〃　

〃I　know；〃　I　agreed。　〃Wow〃　didn't　even　cover　it。　

〃Wait！〃　Her　hands　flew　up；　palms　toward　me　like　she　was　stopping　traffic。　
〃Has　he　kissed　you？〃　

〃No；〃　I　mumbled。　〃It's　not　like　that。〃　

She　looked　disappointed。　I'm　sure　I　did；　too。　

〃Do　you　think　Saturday…　？〃　She　raised　her　eyebrows。　

〃I　really　doubt　it。〃　The　discontent　in　my　voice　was　poorly　disguised。　

〃What　did　you　talk　about？〃　She　pushed　for　more　information　in　a　whisper。　
Class　had　started　but　Mr。　Varner　wasn't　paying　close　attention　and　we　
weren't　the　only　ones　still　talking。　

〃I　don't　know；　Jess；　lots　of　stuff；〃　I　whispered　back。　〃We　talked　about　
the　English　essay　a　little。〃　A　very；　very　little。　I　think　he　mentioned　it　
in　passing。　

〃Please；　Bella；〃　she　begged。　〃Give　me　some　details。〃　

〃Well…　okay；　I've　got　one。　You　should　have　seen　the　waitress　flirting　
with　him　—　it　was　over　the　top。　But　he　didn't　pay　any　attention　to　her　at　
all。〃　Let　him　make　what　he　could　of　that。　

〃That's　a　good　sign；〃　she　nodded。　〃Was　she　pretty？〃　

〃Very　—　and　probably　nieen　or　twenty。〃　

〃Even　better。　He　must　like　you。〃　

〃I　think　so；　but　it's　hard　to　tell。　He's　always　so　cryptic；〃　I　threw　in　
for　his　benefit；　sighing。　

〃I　don't　know　how　you're　brave　enough　to　be　alone　with　him；〃　she　breathed。　

〃Why？〃　I　was　shocked；　but　she　didn't　understand　my　reaction。　

〃He's　so…　intimidating。　I　wouldn't　know　what　to　say　to　him。〃　She　made　a　
face；　probably　remembering　this　morning　or　last　night；　when　he'd　turned　
the　overwhelming　force　of　his　eyes　on　her。　

〃I　do　have　some　trouble　with　incoherency　when　I'm　around　him；〃　I　admitted。　

〃Oh　well。　He　is　unbelievably　gorgeous。〃　Jessica　shrugged　as　if　this　
excused　any　flaws。　Which；　in　her　book；　it　probably　did。　

〃There's　a　lot　more　to　him　than　that。〃　

〃Really？　Like　what？〃　

I　wished　I　had　let　it　go。　Almost　as　much　as　I　was　hoping　he'd　been　
kidding　about　listening　in。　

〃I　can't　explain　it　right…　but　he's　even　more　unbelievable　behind　the　
face。〃　The　vampire　who　wanted　to　be　good　—　who　ran　around　saving　people's　
lives　so　he　wouldn't　be　a　monster…　I　stared　toward　the　front　of　the　room。　

〃Is　that　possible？〃　She　giggled。　

I　ignored　her；　trying　to　look　like　I　was　paying　attention　to　Mr。　Varner。　

〃So　you　like　him；　then？〃　She　wasn't　about　to　give　up。　

〃Yes；〃　I　said　curtly。　

〃I　mean；　do　you　really　like　him？〃　she　urged。　

〃Yes；〃　I　said　again；　blushing。　I　hoped　that　detail　wouldn't　register　in　
her　thoughts。　

She'd　had　enough　with　the　single　syllable　answers。　〃How　much　do　you　like　
him？〃　

〃Too　much；〃　I　whispered　back。　〃More　than　he　likes　me。　But　I　don't　see　how　
I　can　help　that。〃　I　sighed；　one　blush　blending　into　the　next。　

Then；　thankfully；　Mr。　Varner　called　on　Jessica　for　an　answer。　

She　didn't　get　a　chance　to　start　on　the　subject　again　during　class；　and　
as　soon　as　the　bell　rang；　I　took　evasive　action。　

〃In　English；　Mike　asked　me　if　you　said　anything　about　Monday　night；〃　I　
told　her。　

〃You're　kidding！　What　did　you　say？！〃　she　gasped；　pletely　sidetracked。　

〃I　told　him　you　said　you　had　a　lot　of　fun　—　he　looked　pleased。〃　

〃Tell　me　exactly　what　he　said；　and　your　exact　answer！〃　

We　spent　the　rest　of　the　walk　dissecting　sentence　structures　and　most　of　
Spanish　on　a　minute　description　of　Mike's　facial　expressions。　I　wouldn't　
have　helped　draw　it　out　for　as　long　as　I　did　if　I　wasn't　worried　about　
the　subject　returning　to　me。　

And　then　the　bell　rang　for　lunch。　As　I　jumped　up　out　of　my　seat；　shoving　
my　books　roughly　in　my　bag；　my　uplifted　expression　must　have　tipped　
Jessica　off。　

〃You're　not　sitting　with　us　today；　are　you？〃　she　guessed。　

〃I　don't　think　so。〃　I　couldn't　be　sure　that　he　wouldn't　disappear　
inconveniently　again。　

But　outside　the　door　to　our　Spanish　class；　leaning　against　the　wall　—　
looking　more　like　a　Greek　god　than　anyone　had　a　right　to　—　Edward　was　
waiting　for　me。　Jessica　took　one　look；　rolled　her　eyes；　and　departed。　

〃See　you　later；　Bella。〃　Her　voice　was　thick　with　implications。　I　might　
have　to　turn　off　the　ringer　on　the　phone。　

〃Hello。〃　His　voice　was　amused　and　irritated　at　the　same　time。　He　had　been　
listening；　it　was　obvious。　

〃Hi。〃　

I　couldn't　think　of　anything　else　to　say；　and　he　didn't　speak　—　biding　
his　time；　I　presumed　—　so　it　was　a　quiet　walk　to　the　cafeteria。　Walking　
with　Edward　through　the　crowded　lunchtime　rush　was　a　lot　like　my　first　
day　here；　everyone　stared。　

He　led　the　way　into　the　line；　still　not　speaking；　though　his　eyes　
returned　to　my　face　every　few　seconds；　their　expression　speculative。　It　
seemed　to　me　that　irritation　was　winning　out　over　amusement　as　the　
dominant　emotion　in　his　face。　I　fidgeted　nervously　with