1 twilight暮色-第22部分

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over；　swiftly；　but　somehow　still　hesitantly；　to　sweep　my　hair　back　behind　

my　shoulder。　

We　were　at　the　school　by　now。　He　turned　back　to　me　as　he　pulled　into　a　
parking　space。　

〃What　music　is　in　your　CD　player　right　now？〃　he　asked；　his　face　as　somber　
as　if　he'd　asked　for　a　murder　confession。　

I　realized　I'd　never　removed　the　CD　Phil　had　given　me。　When　I　said　the　
name　of　the　band；　he　smiled　crookedly；　a　peculiar　expression　in　his　eyes。　
He　flipped　open　a　partment　under　his　car's　CD　player；　pulled　out　one　
of　thirty　or　so　CDs　that　were　jammed　into　the　small　space；　and　handed　it　
to　me；　

〃Debussy　to　this？〃　He　raised　an　eyebrow。　

It　was　the　same　CD。　I　examined　the　familiar　cover　art；　keeping　my　eyes　
down。　

It　continued　like　that　for　the　rest　of　the　day。　While　he　walked　me　to　
English；　when　he　met　me　after　Spanish；　all　through　the　lunch　hour；　he　
questioned　me　relentlessly　about　every　insignificant　detail　of　my　
existence。　Movies　I'd　liked　and　hated；　the　few　places　I'd　been　and　the　
many　places　I　wanted　to　go；　and　books　—　endlessly　books。　

I　couldn't　remember　the　last　time　I'd　talked　so　much。　More　often　than　
not；　I　felt　selfconscious；　certain　I　must　be　boring　him。　But　the　
absolute　absorption　of　his　face；　and　his　neverending　stream　of　
questions；　pelled　me　to　continue。　Mostly　his　questions　were　easy；　only　
a　very　few　triggering　my　easy　blushes。　But　when　I　did　flush；　it　brought　
on　a　whole　new　round　of　questions。　

Such　as　the　time　he　asked　my　favorite　gemstone；　and　I　blurted　out　topaz　
before　thinking。　He'd　been　flinging　questions　at　me　with　such　speed　that　
I　felt　like　I　was　taking　one　of　those　psychiatric　tests　where　you　answer　
with　the　first　word　that　es　to　mind。　I　was　sure　he　would　have　
continued　down　whatever　mental　list　he　was　following；　except　for　the　
blush。　My　face　reddened　because；　until　very　recently；　my　favorite　
gemstone　was　gar。　It　was　impossible；　while　staring　back　into　his　topaz　
eyes；　not　to　remember　the　reason　for　the　switch。　And；　naturally；　he　
wouldn't　rest　until　I'd　admitted　why　I　was　embarrassed。　

〃Tell　me；〃　he　finally　manded　after　persuasion　failed　—　failed　only　
because　I　kept　my　eyes　safely　away　from　his　face。　

〃It's　the　color　of　your　eyes　today；〃　I　sighed；　surrendering；　staring　down　
at　my　hands　as　I　fiddled　with　a　piece　of　my　hair。　〃I　suppose　if　you　asked　
me　in　two　weeks　I'd　say　onyx。〃　I'd　given　more　information　than　necessary　
in　my　unwilling　honesty；　and　I　worried　it　would　provoke　the　strange　anger　
that　flared　whenever　I　slipped　and　revealed　too　clearly　how　obsessed　I　
was。　

But　his　pause　was　very　short。　

〃What　kinds　of　flowers　do　you　prefer？〃　he　fired　off。　

I　sighed　in　relief；　and　continued　with　the　psychoanalysis。　

Biology　was　a　plication　again。　Edward　had　continued　with　his　quizzing　
up　until　Mr。　Banner　entered　the　room；　dragging　the　audiovisual　frame　
again。　As　the　teacher　approached　the　light　switch；　I　noticed　Edward　slide　
his　chair　slightly　farther　away　from　mine。　It　didn't　help。　As　soon　as　the　
room　was　dark；　there　was　the　same　electric　spark；　the　same　restless　
craving　to　stretch　my　hand　across　the　short　space　and　touch　his　cold　
skin；　as　yesterday。　

I　leaned　forward　on　the　table；　resting　my　chin　on　my　folded　arms；　my　
hidden　fingers　gripping　the　table's　edge　as　I　fought　to　ignore　the　
irrational　longing　that　unsettled　me。　I　didn't　look　at　him；　afraid　that　
if　he　was　looking　at　me；　it　would　only　make　selfcontrol　that　much　
harder。　I　sincerely　tried　to　watch　the　movie；　but　at　the　end　of　the　hour　
I　had　no　idea　what　I'd　just　seen。　I　sighed　in　relief　again　when　Mr。　

Banner　turned　the　lights　on；　finally　glancing　at　Edward；　he　was　looking　
at　me；　his　eyes　ambivalent。　

He　rose　in　silence　and　then　stood　still；　waiting　for　me。　We　walked　toward　
the　gym　in　silence；　like　yesterday。　And；　also　like　yesterday；　he　touched　
my　face　wordlessly　—　this　time　with　the　back　of　his　cool　hand；　stroking　
once　from　my　temple　to　my　jaw　—　before　he　turned　and　walked　away。　

Gym　passed　quickly　as　I　watched　Mike's　oneman　badminton　show。　He　didn't　
speak　to　me　today；　either　in　response　to　my　vacant　expression　or　because　
he　was　still　angry　about　our　squabble　yesterday。　Somewhere；　in　a　corner　
of　my　mind；　I　felt　bad　about　that。　But　I　couldn't　concentrate　on　him。　

I　hurried　to　change　afterward；　ill　at　ease；　knowing　the　faster　I　moved；　
the　sooner　I　would　be　with　Edward。　The　pressure　made　me　more　clumsy　than　
usual；　but　eventually　I　made　it　out　the　door；　feeling　the　same　release　
when　I　saw　him　standing　there；　a　wide　smile　automatically　spreading　
across　my　face。　He　smiled　in　reaction　before　launching　into　more　
crossexamination。　

His　questions　were　different　now；　though；　not　as　easily　answered。　He　
wanted　to　know　what　I　missed　about　home；　insisting　on　descriptions　of　
anything　he　wasn't　familiar　with。　We　sat　in　front　of　Charlie's　house　for　
hours；　as　the　sky　darkened　and　rain　plummeted　around　us　in　a　sudden　
deluge。　

I　tried　to　describe　impossible　things　like　the　scent　of　creosote　—　
bitter；　slightly　resinous；　but　still　pleasant　—　the　high；　keening　sound　
of　the　cicadas　in　July；　the　feathery　barrenness　of　the　trees；　the　very　
size　of　the　sky；　extending　whiteblue　from　horizon　to　horizon；　barely　
interrupted　by　the　low　mountains　covered　with　purple　volcanic　rock。　The　
hardest　thing　to　explain　was　why　it　was　so　beautiful　to　me　—　to　justify　a　
beauty　that　didn't　depend　on　the　sparse；　spiny　vegetation　that　often　
looked　half　dead；　a　beauty　that　had　more　to　do　with　the　exposed　shape　of　
the　land；　with　the　shallow　bowls　of　valleys　between　the　craggy　hills；　and　
the　way　they　held　on　to　the　sun。　I　found　myself　using　my　hands　as　I　tried　
to　describe　it　to　him。　

His　quiet；　probing　questions　kept　me　talking　freely；　forgetting；　in　the　
dim　light　of　the　storm；　to　be　embarrassed　for　monopolizing　the　
conversation。　Finally；　when　I　had　finished　detailing　my　cluttered　room　at　
home；　he　paused　instead　of　responding　with　another　question。　

〃Are　you　finished？〃　I　asked　in　relief。　

〃Not　even　close　—　but　your　father　will　be　home　soon。〃　

〃Charlie！〃　I　suddenly　recalled　his　existence；　and　sighed。　I　looked　out　at　
the　raindarkened　sky；　but　it　gave　nothing　away。　〃How　late　is　it？〃　I　
wondered　out　loud　as　I　glanced　at　the　clock。　I　was　surprised　by　the　time　
—　Charlie　would　be　driving　home　now。　

〃It's　twilight；〃　Edward　murmured；　looking　at　the　western　horizon；　
obscured　as　it　was　with　clouds。　His　voice　was　thoughtful；　as　if　his　mind　
were　somewhere　far　away。　I　stared　at　him　as　he　gazed　unseeingly　out　the　
windshield。　

I　was　still　staring　when　his　eyes　suddenly　shifted　back　to　mine。　

〃It's　the　safest　time　of　day　for　us；〃　he　said；　answering　the　unspoken　
question　in　my　eyes。　〃The　easiest　time。　But　also　the　saddest；　in　a　way…　
the　end　of　another　day；　the　return　of　the　night。　Darkness　is　so　
predictable；　don't　you　think？〃　He　smiled　wistfully。　

〃I　like　the　night。　Without　the　dark；　we'd　never　see　the　stars。〃　I　
frowned。　〃Not　that　you　see　them　here　much。〃　

He　laughed；　and　the　mood　abruptly　lightened。　

〃Charlie　will　be　here　in　a　few　minutes。　So；　unless　you　want　to　tell　him　
that　you'll　be　with　me　Saturday…〃　He　raised　one　eyebrow。　

〃Thanks；　but　no　thanks。〃　I　gathered　my　books；　realizing　I　was　stiff　from　
sitting　still　so　long。　〃So　is　it　my　turn　tomorrow；　then？〃　

〃Certainly　not！〃　His　face　was　teasingly　outraged。　〃I　told　you　I　wasn't　
done；　didn't　I？〃　

〃What　more　is　there？〃　

〃You'll　find　out　tomorrow。〃　He　reached　across　to　open　my　door　for　me；　and　
his　sudden　proximity　sent　my　heart　into　frenzied　palpitations。　

But　his　hand　froze　on　the　handle。　

〃Not　good；〃　he　muttered。　

〃What　is　it？〃　I　was　surprised　to　see　that　his　jaw　was　clenched；　his　eyes　
disturbed。　

He　glanced　at　me　for　a　brief　second。　〃Another　plication；〃　he　said　
glumly。　

He　flung　the　door　open　in　one　swift　movement；　and　then　moved；　almost　
cringed；　swiftly　away　from　me。　

The　flash　of　headlights　through　the　rain　caught　my　attention　as　a　dark　
car　pulled　up　to　the　curb　just　a　few　feet　away；　facing　us。　

〃Charlie's　around　the　corner；〃　he　warned；　staring　through　the　downpour　at　
the　other　vehicle。　

I　hopped　out　at　once；　despite　my　confusion　and　curiosity。　The　rain　was　
louder　as　it　glanced　off　my　jacket。　

I　tried　to　make　out　the　shapes　in　the　front　seat　of　the　other　car；　but　it　
was　too　dark。　I　could　see　Edward　illuminated　in　the　glare　of　the　new　
car's　headlights；　he　was　still　staring　ahead；　his　gaze　locked　on　
something　or　someone　I　couldn't　see。　His　expression　was　a　strange　mix　of　
frustration　and　defiance。　

Then　he　revved　the　engine；　and　the　tires　squealed　against　the　wet　
pavement。　The　Volvo　was　out　of　sight　in　seconds。　

〃Hey；　Bella；〃　called　a　familiar；　husky　voice　from　the　driver's　side　of　
the　little　black　car。　

〃Jacob？〃　I　asked；　squinting　through　the　rain。　Just　then；　Charlie's　
cruiser　swung　around　the　corner；　his　lights　shining　on　the　occupants　of　
the　car　in　front　of　me。　

Jacob　was　already　climbing　out；　his　wide　grin　visible　even　through　the　
darkness。　In　the　passenger　seat　was　a　much　older　man；　a　heavyset　man　with　
a　memorable　face　—　a　face　that　overflowed；　the　cheeks　resting　against　his　
shoulders；　with　creases　running　through　the　russet　skin　like　an　old　
leather　jacket。　And　the　surprisingly　familiar　eyes；　black　eyes　that　
seemed　at　the　same　time　both　too　young　and　too　ancient　for　the　broad　face　
they　were　set　in。　Jacob's　father；　Billy　Black。　I　knew　him　immediately；　
though　in　the　more　than　five　years　since　I'd　seen　him　last　I'd　managed　to　
forget　his　name　when　Charlie　had　spoken　of　him　my　first　day　here。　He　was　
staring　at　me；　scrutinizing　my　face；　so　I　smiled　tentatively　at　him。　His　
eyes　were　wide；　as　if　in　shock　or　fear；　his　nostrils　flared。　My　smile　
faded。　

Another　plication；　Edward　had　said。　

Billy　still　stared　at　me　with　intense；　anxious　eyes。　I　groaned　
internally。　Had　Billy　recognized　Edward　so　easily？　Could　he　really　
believe　the　impossible　legends　his　son　had　scoffed　at？　

The　answer　was　clear　in　Billy's　eyes。　Yes。　Yes；　he　could。　

===========================================================================　

12。　BALANCING　




〃Billy！〃　Charlie　called　as　soon　as　he　got　out　of　the　car。　

I　turned　toward　the　house；　beckoning　to　Jacob　as　I　ducked　under　the　
porch。　I　heard　Charlie　greeting　them　loudly　behind　me。　

〃I'm　going　to　pretend　I　didn't　see　you　behind　the　wheel；　Jake；〃　he　said　
disapprovingly。　

〃We　get　permits　early　on　the　rez；〃　Jacob　said　while　I　unlocked　the　door　
and　flicked　on　the　porch　light。　

〃Sure　you　do；〃　Charlie　laughed。　

〃I　have　to　get　around　somehow。〃　I　recognized　Billy's　resonant　voice　
easily；　despite　the　years。　The　sound　of　it　made　me　feel　suddenly　younger；　
a　child。　

I　went　inside；　leaving　the　door　open　behind　me　and　turning　on　lights　
before　I　hung　up　my　jacket。　Then　I　stood　in　the　door；　watching　anxiously　
as　Charlie　and　Jacob　helped　Billy　out　of　the　car　and　into　his　wheelchair。　

I　backed　out　of　the　way　as　the　three　of　them　hurried　in；　shaking　off　the　
rain。　

〃This　is　a　surprise；〃　Charlie　was　saying。　

〃It's　been　too　long；〃　Billy　answered。　〃I　hope　it's　not　a　bad　time。〃　His　
dark　eyes　flashed　up　to　me　again；　their　expression　unreadable。　

〃No；　it's　great。　I　hope　you　can　stay　for　the　game。〃　

Jacob　grinned。　〃I　think　that's　the　plan　—　our　TV　broke　last　week。〃　

Billy　made　a　face　at　his　son。　〃And；　of　course；　Jacob　was　anxious　to　see　
Bella　again；〃　he　added。　Jacob　scowled　and　ducked　his　head　while　I　fought　
back　a　surge　of　remorse。　Maybe　I'd　been　too　convincing　on　the　beach。　

〃Are　you　hungry？〃　I　asked；　turning　toward　the　kitchen。　I　was　eager　to　
escape　Billy's　searching　gaze。　

〃Naw；　we　ate　just　before　we　came；〃　Jacob　answered。　

〃How　about　you；　Charlie？〃　I　called　over　my　shoulder　as　I　fled　around　the　
corner。　

〃Sure；〃　he　replied；　his　voice　moving　in　the　direction　of　the　front　room　
and　the　TV。　I　could　hear　Billy's　chair　follow。　

The　grilled　cheese　sandwiches　were　in　the　frying　pan　and　I　was　slicing　up　
a　tomato　when　I　sensed　someone　behind　me。　

〃So；　how　are　things？〃　Jacob　asked。　

〃Pretty　good。〃　I　smiled。　His　enthusiasm　was　hard　to　resist。　〃How　about　
you？　Did　you　finish　your　car？〃　

〃No。〃　He　frowned。　〃I　still　need　parts。　We　borrowed　that　one。〃　He　pointed　
with　his　thumb　in　the　direction　of　the　front　yard。　

〃Sorry。　I　haven't　seen　any…　what　was　it　you　were　looking　for？〃　

〃Master　cylinder。〃　He　grinned。　〃Is　something　wrong　with　the　truck？〃　he　
added　suddenly。　

〃No。〃　

〃Oh。　I　just　wondered　because　you　weren't　driving　it。〃　

I　stared　down　at　the　pan；　pulling　up　the　edge　of　a　sandwich　to　check　the　
bottom　side。　〃I　got　a　ride　with　a　friend。〃　

〃Nice　ride。〃　Jacob's　voice　was　admiring。　〃I　didn't　recognize　the　driver；　
though。　I　thought　I　knew　most　of　the　kids　around　here。〃　

I　nodded　nonmittally；　keeping　my　eyes　down　as　I　flipped　sandwiches。　

〃My　dad　seemed　to　know　him　from　somewhere。〃　

〃Jacob；　could　you　hand　me　some　plates？　They're　in　the　cupboard　over　the　
sink。〃　

〃Sure。〃　

He　got　the　plates　in　silence。　I　hoped　he　would　let　it　drop　now。　

〃So　who　was　it？〃　he　asked；　setting　two　plates　on　the　counter　next　to　me。　

I　sighed　in　defeat。　〃Edward　Cullen。〃　

To　my　surprise；　he　laughed。　I　glanced　up　at　him。　He　looked　a　little　
embarrassed。　

〃Guess　that　explains　it；　then；〃　he　said。　〃I　wondered　why　my　dad　was　
acting　so　strange。〃　

〃That's　right。〃　I　faked　an　innocent　expression。　〃He　doesn't　like　the　
Cullens。〃　

〃Superstitious　old　man；〃　Jacob　muttered　under　his　breath。　

〃You　don't　think　he'd　say　anything　to　Charlie？〃　I　couldn't　help　asking；　
the　words　ing　out　in　a　low　rush。　

Jacob　stared　at　me　for　a　moment；　and　I　couldn't　read　the　expression　in　
his　dark　eyes。　〃I　doubt　it；〃　he　finally　answered。　〃I　think　Charlie　chewed　
him　out　pretty　good　last　time。　They　haven't　spoken　much　since　—　tonight　
is　sort　of　a　reunion；　I　think。　I　don't　think　he'd　bring　it　up　again。〃　

〃Oh；〃　I　said；　trying　to　sound　indifferent。　

I　stayed　in　the　front　room　after　I　carried　the　food　out　to　Charlie；　
pretending　to　watch　the　game　while　Jacob　chattered　at　me。　I　was　really　
listening　to　the　men's　conversation；　watching　for　any　sign　that　Billy　was　
about　to　rat　me　out；　trying　to　think　of　ways　to　stop　him　if　he　began。　

It　was　a　long　night。　I　had　a　lot　of　homework　that　was　going　undone；　but　I　
was　afraid　to　leave　Billy　alone　with　Charlie。　Finally；　the　game　ended。　

〃Are　you　and　your　friends　ing　back　to　the　beach　soon？〃　Jacob　asked　as　
he　pushed　his　father　over　the　lip　of　the　threshold。　

〃I'm　not　sure；〃　I　hedged。　

〃That　was　fun；　Charlie；〃　Billy　said。　

〃e　up　for　the　next　game；〃　Charlie　encouraged。　

〃Sure；　sure；〃　Billy　said。　〃We'll　be　here。　Have　a　good　night。〃　His　eyes　
shifted　to　mine；　and　his　smile　disappeared。　〃You　take　care；　Bella；〃　he　
added　seriously。　

〃Thanks；〃　I　muttered；　looking　away。　

I　headed　for　the　stairs　while　Charlie　waved　from　the　doorway。　

〃Wait；　Bella；〃　he　said。　

I　cringed。　Had　Billy　gotten　something　in　before　I'd　joined　them　in　the　
living　room？　

But　Charlie　was　relaxed；　still　grinning　from　the　unexpected　visit。　

〃I　didn't　get　a　chance　to　talk　to　you　tonight。　How　was　your　day？〃