1 twilight暮色-第27部分

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as　I　breathed　in　his　heady　scent。　

Immediately　I　felt　him　turn　to　unresponsive　stone　beneath　my　lips。　His　
hands　gently；　but　with　irresistible　force；　pushed　my　face　back。　I　opened　
my　eyes　and　saw　his　guarded　expression。　

〃Oops；〃　I　breathed。　

〃That's　an　understatement。〃　

His　eyes　were　wild；　his　jaw　clenched　in　acute　restraint；　yet　he　didn't　
lapse　from　his　perfect　articulation。　He　held　my　face　just　inches　from　
his。　He　dazzled　my　eyes。　

〃Should　I…　？〃　I　tried　to　disengage　myself；　to　give　him　some　room。　

His　hands　refused　to　let　me　move　so　much　as　an　inch。　

〃No；　it's　tolerable。　Wait　for　a　moment；　please。〃　His　voice　was　polite；　
controlled。　

I　kept　my　eyes　on　his；　watched　as　the　excitement　in　them　faded　and　
gentled。　

Then　he　smiled　a　surprisingly　impish　grin。　

〃There；〃　he　said；　obviously　pleased　with　himself。　

〃Tolerable？〃　I　asked。　

He　laughed　aloud。　〃I'm　stronger　than　I　thought。　It's　nice　to　know。〃　

〃I　wish　I　could　say　the　same。　I'm　sorry。〃　

〃You　are　only　human；　after　all。〃　

〃Thanks　so　much；〃　I　said；　my　voice　acerbic。　

He　was　on　his　feet　in　one　of　his　lithe；　almost　invisibly　quick　movements。　
He　held　out　his　hand　to　me；　an　unexpected　gesture。　I　was　so　used　to　our　
standard　of　careful　noncontact。　I　took　his　icy　hand；　needing　the　support　
more　than　I　thought。　My　balance　had　not　yet　returned。　

〃Are　you　still　faint　from　the　run？　Or　was　it　my　kissing　expertise？〃　How　
lighthearted；　how　human　he　seemed　as　he　laughed　now；　his　seraphic　face　
untroubled。　He　was　a　different　Edward　than　the　one　I　had　known。　And　I　
felt　all　the　more　besotted　by　him。　It　would　cause　me　physical　pain　to　be　
separated　from　him　now。　

〃I　can't　be　sure；　I'm　still　woozy；〃　I　managed　to　respond。　〃I　think　it's　
some　of　both；　though。〃　

〃Maybe　you　should　let　me　drive。〃　

〃Are　you　insane？〃　I　protested。　

〃I　can　drive　better　than　you　on　your　best　day；〃　he　teased。　〃You　have　much　
slower　reflexes。〃　

〃I'm　sure　that's　true；　but　I　don't　think　my　nerves；　or　my　truck；　could　
take　it。〃　

〃Some　trust；　please；　Bella。〃　

My　hand　was　in　my　pocket；　curled　tightly　around　the　key。　I　pursed　my　
lips；　deliberated；　then　shook　my　head　with　a　tight　grin。　

〃Nope。　Not　a　chance。〃　

He　raised　his　eyebrows　in　disbelief。　

I　started　to　step　around　him；　heading　for　the　driver's　side。　He　might　
have　let　me　pass　if　I　hadn't　wobbled　slightly。　Then　again；　he　might　not　
have。　His　arm　created　an　inescapable　snare　around　my　waist。　

〃Bella；　I've　already　expended　a　great　deal　of　personal　effort　at　this　
point　to　keep　you　alive。　I'm　not　about　to　let　you　behind　the　wheel　of　a　
vehicle　when　you　can't　even　walk　straight。　Besides；　friends　don't　let　
friends　drive　drunk；〃　he　quoted　with　a　chuckle。　I　could　smell　the　
unbearably　sweet　fragrance　ing　off　his　chest。　

〃Drunk？〃　I　objected。　

〃You're　intoxicated　by　my　very　presence。〃　He　was　grinning　that　playful　
smirk　again。　

〃I　can't　argue　with　that；〃　I　sighed。　There　was　no　way　around　it；　I　
couldn't　resist　him　in　anything。　I　held　the　key　high　and　dropped　it；　
watching　his　hand　flash　like　lightning　to　catch　it　soundlessly。　〃Take　it　
easy　—　my　truck　is　a　senior　citizen。〃　

〃Very　sensible；〃　he　approved。　

〃And　are　you　not　affected　at　all？〃　I　asked；　irked。　〃By　my　presence？〃　

Again　his　mobile　features　transformed；　his　expression　became　soft；　warm。　
He　didn't　answer　at　first；　he　simply　bent　his　face　to　mine；　and　brushed　
his　lips　slowly　along　my　jaw；　from　my　ear　to　my　chin；　back　and　forth。　I　
trembled。　

〃Regardless；〃　he　finally　murmured；　〃I　have　better　reflexes。〃　

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14。　MIND　OVER　MATTER　

He　could　drive　well；　when　he　kept　the　speed　reasonable；　I　had　to　admit。　
Like　so　many　things；　it　seemed　to　be　effortless　to　him。　He　barely　looked　
at　the　road；　yet　the　tires　never　deviated　so　much　as　a　centimeter　from　
the　center　of　the　lane。　He　drove　onehanded；　holding　my　hand　on　the　seat。　
Sometimes　he　gazed　into　the　setting　sun；　sometimes　he　glanced　at　me　—　my　
face；　my　hair　blowing　out　the　open　window；　our　hands　twined　together。　

He　had　turned　the　radio　to　an　oldies　station；　and　he　sang　along　with　a　
song　I'd　never　heard。　He　knew　every　line。　

〃You　like　fifties　music？〃　I　asked。　

〃Music　in　the　fifties　was　good。　Much　better　than　the　sixties；　or　the　
seventies；　ugh！〃　He　shuddered。　〃The　eighties　were　bearable。〃　

〃Are　you　ever　going　to　tell　me　how　old　you　are？〃　I　asked；　tentative；　not　
wanting　to　upset　his　buoyant　humor。　

〃Does　it　matter　much？〃　His　smile；　to　my　relief；　remained　unclouded。　

〃No；　but　I　still　wonder…〃　I　grimaced。　〃There's　nothing　like　an　unsolved　
mystery　to　keep　you　up　at　night。〃　

〃I　wonder　if　it　will　upset　you；〃　he　reflected　to　himself。　He　gazed　into　
the　sun；　the　minutes　passed。　

〃Try　me；〃　I　finally　said。　

He　sighed；　and　then　looked　into　my　eyes；　seeming　to　forget　the　road　
pletely　for　a　time。　Whatever　he　saw　there　must　have　encouraged　him。　He　
looked　into　the　sun　—　the　light　of　the　setting　orb　glittered　off　his　skin　
in　rubytinged　sparkles　—　and　spoke。　

〃I　was　born　in　Chicago　in　1901。〃　He　paused　and　glanced　at　me　from　the　
corner　of　his　eyes。　My　face　was　carefully　unsurprised；　patient　for　the　
rest。　He　smiled　a　tiny　smile　and　continued。　〃Carlisle　found　me　in　a　
hospital　in　the　summer　of　1918。　I　was　seventeen；　and　dying　of　the　Spanish　
influenza。〃　

He　heard　my　intake　of　breath；　though　it　was　barely　audible　to　my　own　
ears。　He　looked　down　into　my　eyes　again。　

〃I　don't　remember　it　well　—　it　was　a　very　long　time　ago；　and　human　
memories　fade。〃　He　was　lost　in　his　thoughts　for　a　short　time　before　he　
went　on。　〃I　do　remember　how　it　felt；　when　Carlisle　saved　me。　It's　not　an　
easy　thing；　not　something　you　could　forget。〃　

〃Your　parents？〃　

〃They　had　already　died　from　the　disease。　I　was　alone。　That　was　why　he　
chose　me。　In　all　the　chaos　of　the　epidemic；　no　one　would　ever　realize　I　
was　gone。〃　

〃How　did　he…　save　you？〃　

A　few　seconds　passed　before　he　answered。　He　seemed　to　choose　his　words　
carefully。　

〃It　was　difficult。　Not　many　of　us　have　the　restraint　necessary　to　
acplish　it。　But　Carlisle　has　always　been　the　most　humane；　the　most　
passionate　of　us…　I　don't　think　you　could　find　his　equal　throughout　
all　of　history。〃　He　paused。　〃For　me；　it　was　merely　very；　very　painful。〃　

I　could　tell　from　the　set　of　his　lips；　he　would　say　no　more　on　this　
subject。　I　suppressed　my　curiosity；　though　it　was　far　from　idle。　There　
were　many　things　I　needed　to　think　through　on　this　particular　issue；　
things　that　were　only　beginning　to　occur　to　me。　No　doubt　his　quick　mind　

had　already　prehended　every　aspect　that　eluded　me。　

His　soft　voice　interrupted　my　thoughts。　〃He　acted　from　loneliness。　That's　
usually　the　reason　behind　the　choice。　I　was　the　first　in　Carlisle's　
family；　though　he　found　Esme　soon　after。　She　fell　from　a　cliff。　They　
brought　her　straight　to　the　hospital　morgue；　though；　somehow；　her　heart　
was　still　beating。〃　

〃So　you　must　be　dying；　then；　to　bee…〃　We　never　said　the　word；　and　I　
couldn't　frame　it　now。　

〃No；　that's　just　Carlisle。　He　would　never　do　that　to　someone　who　had　
another　choice。〃　The　respect　in　his　voice　was　profound　whenever　he　spoke　
of　his　father　figure。　〃It　is　easier　he　says；　though；〃　he　continued；　〃if　
the　blood　is　weak。〃　He　looked　at　the　nowdark　road；　and　I　could　feel　the　
subject　closing　again。　

〃And　Emmett　and　Rosalie？〃　

〃Carlisle　brought　Rosalie　to　our　family　next。　I　didn't　realize　till　much　
later　that　he　was　hoping　she　would　be　to　me　what　Esme　was　to　him　—　he　was　
careful　with　his　thoughts　around　me。〃　He　rolled　his　eyes。　〃But　she　was　
never　more　than　a　sister。　It　was　only　two　years　later　that　she　found　
Emmett。　She　was　hunting　—　we　were　in　Appalachia　at　the　time　—　and　found　a　
bear　about　to　finish　him　off。　She　carried　him　back　to　Carlisle；　more　than　
a　hundred　miles；　afraid　she　wouldn't　be　able　to　do　it　herself。　I'm　only　
beginning　to　guess　how　difficult　that　journey　was　for　her。〃　He　threw　a　
pointed　glance　in　my　direction；　and　raised　our　hands；　still　folded　
together；　to　brush　my　cheek　with　the　back　of　his　hand。　

〃But　she　made　it；〃　I　encouraged；　looking　away　from　the　unbearable　beauty　
of　his　eyes。　

〃Yes；〃　he　murmured。　〃She　saw　something　in　his　face　that　made　her　strong　
enough。　And　they've　been　together　ever　since。　Sometimes　they　live　
separately　from　us；　as　a　married　couple。　But　the　younger　we　pretend　to　
be；　the　longer　we　can　stay　in　any　given　place。　Forks　seemed　perfect；　so　
we　all　enrolled　in　high　school。〃　He　laughed。　〃I　suppose　we'll　have　to　go　
to　their　wedding　in　a　few　years；　again。〃　

〃Alice　and　Jasper？〃　

〃Alice　and　Jasper　are　two　very　rare　creatures。　They　both　developed　a　
conscience；　as　we　refer　to　it；　with　no　outside　guidance。　Jasper　belonged　
to　another…　family；　a　very　different　kind　of　family。　He　became　depressed；　
and　he　wandered　on　his　own。　Alice　found　him。　Like　me；　she　has　certain　
gifts　above　and　beyond　the　norm　for　our　kind。〃　

〃Really？〃　I　interrupted；　fascinated。　〃But　you　said　you　were　the　only　one　
who　could　hear　people's　thoughts。〃　

〃That's　true。　She　knows　other　things。　She　sees　things　—　things　that　might　
happen；　things　that　are　ing。　But　it's　very　subjective。　The　future　
isn't　set　in　stone。　Things　change。〃　

His　jaw　set　when　he　said　that；　and　his　eyes　darted　to　my　face　and　away　so　
quickly　that　I　wasn't　sure　if　I　only　imagined　it。　

〃What　kinds　of　things　does　she　see？〃　

〃She　saw　Jasper　and　knew　that　he　was　looking　for　her　before　he　knew　it　
himself。　She　saw　Carlisle　and　our　family；　and　they　came　together　to　find　
us。　She's　most　sensitive　to　nonhumans。　She　always　sees；　for　example；　
when　another　group　of　our　kind　is　ing　near。　And　any　threat　they　may　
pose。〃　

〃Are　there　a　lot　of…　your　kind？〃　I　was　surprised。　How　many　of　them　could　
walk　among　us　undetected？　

〃No；　not　many。　But　most　won't　settle　in　any　one　place。　Only　those　like　
us；　who've　given　up　hunting　you　people〃　—　a　sly　glance　in　my　direction　—　
〃can　live　together　with　humans　for　any　length　of　time。　We've　only　found　

one　other　family　like　ours；　in　a　small　village　in　Alaska。　We　lived　
together　for　a　time；　but　there　were　so　many　of　us　that　we　became　too　
noticeable。　Those　of　us　who　live…　differently　tend　to　band　together。〃　

〃And　the　others？〃　

〃Nomads；　for　the　most　part。　We've　all　lived　that　way　at　times。　It　gets　
tedious；　like　anything　else。　But　we　run　across　the　others　now　and　then；　
because　most　of　us　prefer　the　North。〃　

〃Why　is　that？〃　

We　were　parked　in　front　of　my　house　now；　and　he'd　turned　off　the　truck。　
It　was　very　quiet　and　dark；　there　was　no　moon。　The　porch　light　was　off　so　
I　knew　my　father　wasn't　home　yet。　

〃Did　you　have　your　eyes　open　this　afternoon？〃　he　teased。　〃Do　you　think　I　
could　walk　down　the　street　in　the　sunlight　without　causing　traffic　
accidents？　There's　a　reason　why　we　chose　the　Olympic　Peninsula；　one　of　
the　most　sunless　places　in　the　world。　It's　nice　to　be　able　to　go　outside　
in　the　day。　You　wouldn't　believe　how　tired　you　can　get　of　nighttime　in　
eightyodd　years。〃　

〃So　that's　where　the　legends　came　from？〃　

〃Probably。〃　

〃And　Alice　came　from　another　family；　like　Jasper？〃　

〃No；　and　that　is　a　mystery。　Alice　doesn't　remember　her　human　life　at　all。　
And　she　doesn't　know　who　created　her。　She　awoke　alone。　Whoever　made　her　
walked　away；　and　none　of　us　understand　why；　or　how；　he　could。　If　she　
hadn't　had　that　other　sense；　if　she　hadn't　seen　Jasper　and　Carlisle　and　
known　that　she　would　someday　bee　one　of　us；　she　probably　would　have　
turned　into　a　total　savage。〃　

There　was　so　much　to　think　through；　so　much　I　still　wanted　to　ask。　But；　
to　my　great　embarrassment；　my　stomach　growled。　I'd　been　so　intrigued；　I　
hadn't　even　noticed　I　was　hungry。　I　realized　now　that　I　was　ravenous。　

〃I'm　sorry；　I'm　keeping　you　from　dinner。〃　

〃I'm　fine；　really。〃　

〃I've　never　spent　much　time　around　anyone　who　eats　food。　I　forget。〃　

〃I　want　to　stay　with　you。〃　It　was　easier　to　say　in　the　darkness；　knowing　
as　I　spoke　how　my　voice　would　betray　me；　my　hopeless　addiction　to　him。　

〃Can't　I　e　in？〃　he　asked。　

〃Would　you　like　to？〃　I　couldn't　picture　it；　this　godlike　creature　sitting　
in　my　father's　shabby　kitchen　chair。　

〃Yes；　if　it's　all　right。〃　I　heard　the　door　close　quietly；　and　almost　
simultaneously　he　was　outside　my　door；　opening　it　for　me。　

〃Very　human；〃　I　plimented　him。　

〃It's　definitely　resurfacing。〃　

He　walked　beside　me　in　the　night；　so　quietly　I　had　to　peek　at　him　
constantly　to　be　sure　he　was　still　there。　In　the　darkness　he　looked　much　
more　normal。　Still　pale；　still　dreamlike　in　his　beauty；　but　no　longer　the　
fantastic　sparkling　creature　of　our　sunlit　afternoon。　

He　reached　the　door　ahead　of　me　and　opened　it　for　me。　I　paused　halfway　
through　the　frame。　

〃The　door　was　unlocked？〃　

〃No；　I　used　the　key　from　under　the　eave。〃　

I　stepped　inside；　flicked　on　the　porch　light；　and　turned　to　look　at　him　
with　my　eyebrows　raised。　I　was　sure　I'd　never　used　that　key　in　front　of　
him。　

〃I　was　curious　about　you。〃　

〃You　spied　on　me？〃　But　somehow　I　couldn't　infuse　my　voice　with　the　proper　
outrage。　I　was　flattered。　

He　was　unrepentant。　〃What　else　is　there　to　do　at　night？〃　

I　let　it　go　for　the　moment　and　went　down　the　hall　to　the　kitchen。　He　was　
there　before　me；　needing　no　guide。　He　sat　in　the　very　chair　I'd　tried　to　
picture　him　in。　His　beauty　lit　up　the　kitchen。　It　was　a　moment　before　I　
could　look　away。　

I　concentrated　on　getting　my　dinner；　taking　last　night's　lasagna　from　the　
fridge；　placing　a　square　on　a　plate；　heating　it　in　the　microwave。　It　
revolved；　filling　the　kitchen　with　the　smell　of　tomatoes　and　oregano。　I　
didn't　take　my　eyes　from　the　plate　of　food　as　I　spoke。　

〃How　often？〃　I　asked　casually。　

〃Hmmm？〃　He　sounded　as　if　I　had　pulled　him　from　some　other　train　of　
thought。　

I　still　didn't　turn　around。　〃How　often　did　you　e　here？〃　

〃I　e　here　almost　every　night。〃　

I　whirled；　stunned。　〃Why？〃　

〃You're　interesting　when　you　sleep。〃　He　spoke　matteroffactly。　〃You　
talk。〃　

〃No！〃　I　gasped；　heat　flooding　my　face　all　the　way　to　my　hairline。　I　
gripped　the　kitchen　counter　for　support。　I　knew　I　talked　in　my　sleep；　of　
course；　my　mother　teased　me　about　it。　I　hadn't　thought　it　was　something　I　
needed　to　worry　about　here；　though。　

His　expression　shifted　instantly　to　chagrin。　〃Are　you　very　angry　with　me？〃　

〃That　depends！〃　I　felt　and　sounded　like　I'd　had　the　breath　knocked　out　of　
me。　

He　waited。　

〃On？〃　he　urged。　

〃What　you　heard！〃　I　wailed。　

Instantly；　silently；　he　was　at　my　side；　taking　my　hands　carefully　in　his。　

〃Don't　be　upset！〃　he　pleaded。　He　dropped　his　face　to　the　level　of　my　
eyes；　holding　my　gaze。　I　was　embarrassed。　I　tried　to　look　away。　

〃You　miss　your　mother；〃　he　whispered。　〃You　worry　about　her。　And　when　it　
rains；　the　sound　makes　you　restless。　You　used　to　talk　about　home　a　lot；　
but　it's　less　often　now。　Once　you　said；　'It's　too　green。'〃　He　laughed　
softly；　hoping；　I　could　see；　not　to　offend　me　further。　

〃Anything　else？〃　I　demanded。　

He　knew　what　I　was　getting　at。　〃You　did　say　my　name；〃　he　admitted。　

I　sighed　in　defeat。　〃A　lot？〃　

〃How　much　do　you　mean　by　'a　lot；'　exactly？〃