1 twilight暮色-第31部分

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I　thought　about　the　reason　for　that；　and　shuddered。　

〃Esme　and　Carlisle…　？〃　I　continued　quickly；　to　keep　him　from　noticing。　

〃Are　happy　to　see　me　happy。　Actually；　Esme　wouldn't　care　if　you　had　a　
third　eye　and　webbed　feet。　All　this　time　she's　been　worried　about　me；　
afraid　that　there　was　something　missing　from　my　essential　makeup；　that　I　
was　too　young　when　Carlisle　changed　me…　She's　ecstatic。　Every　time　I　
touch　you；　she　just　about　chokes　with　satisfaction。〃　

〃Alice　seems　very…　enthusiastic。〃　

〃Alice　has　her　own　way　of　looking　at　things；〃　he　said　through　tight　lips。　

〃And　you're　not　going　to　explain　that；　are　you？〃　

A　moment　of　wordless　munication　passed　between　us。　He　realized　that　I　
knew　he　was　keeping　something　from　me。　I　realized　that　he　wasn't　going　to　
give　anything　away。　Not　now。　

〃So　what　was　Carlisle　telling　you　before？〃　

His　eyebrows　pulled　together。　〃You　noticed　that；　did　you？〃　

I　shrugged。　〃Of　course。〃　

He　looked　at　me　thoughtfully　for　a　few　seconds　before　answering。　〃He　
wanted　to　tell　me　some　news　—　he　didn't　know　if　it　was　something　I　would　
share　with　you。〃　

〃Will　you？〃　

〃I　have　to；　because　I'm　going　to　be　a　little…　overbearingly　protective　
over　the　next　few　days　—　or　weeks　—　and　I　wouldn't　want　you　to　think　I'm　
naturally　a　tyrant。〃　

〃What's　wrong？〃　

〃Nothing's　wrong；　exactly。　Alice　just　sees　some　visitors　ing　soon。　
They　know　we're　here；　and　they're　curious。〃　

〃Visitors？〃　

〃Yes…　well；　they　aren't　like　us；　of　course　—　in　their　hunting　habits；　I　
mean。　They　probably　won't　e　into　town　at　all；　but　I'm　certainly　not　
going　to　let　you　out　of　my　sight　till　they're　gone。〃　

I　shivered。　

〃Finally；　a　rational　response！〃　he　murmured。　〃I　was　beginning　to　think　
you　had　no　sense　of　selfpreservation　at　all。〃　

I　let　that　one　pass；　looking　away；　my　eyes　wandering　again　around　the　
spacious　room。　

He　followed　my　gaze。　〃Not　what　you　expected；　is　it？〃　he　asked；　his　voice　
smug。　

〃No；〃　I　admitted。　

〃No　coffins；　no　piled　skulls　in　the　corners；　I　don't　even　think　we　have　
cobwebs…　what　a　disappointment　this　must　be　for　you；〃　he　continued　slyly。　

I　ignored　his　teasing。　〃It's　so　light…　so　open。〃　

He　was　more　serious　when　he　answered。　〃It's　the　one　place　we　never　have　
to　hide。〃　

The　song　he　was　still　playing；　my　song；　drifted　to　an　end；　the　final　
chords　shifting　to　a　more　melancholy　key。　The　last　note　hovered　
poignantly　in　the　silence。　

〃Thank　you；〃　I　murmured。　I　realized　there　were　tears　in　my　eyes。　I　dabbed　
at　them；　embarrassed。　

He　touched　the　corner　of　my　eye；　trapping　one　I　missed。　He　lifted　his　
finger；　examining　the　drop　of　moisture　broodingly。　Then；　so　quickly　I　
couldn't　be　positive　that　he　really　did；　he　put　his　finger　to　his　mouth　
to　taste　it。　

I　looked　at　him　questioningly；　and　he　gazed　back　for　a　long　moment　before　
he　finally　smiled。　

〃Do　you　want　to　see　the　rest　of　the　house？〃　

〃No　coffins？〃　I　verified；　the　sarcasm　in　my　voice　not　entirely　masking　
the　slight　but　genuine　anxiety　I　felt。　

He　laughed；　taking　my　hand；　leading　me　away　from　the　piano。　

〃No　coffins；〃　he　promised。　

We　walked　up　the　massive　staircase；　my　hand　trailing　along　the　
satinsmooth　rail。　The　long　hall　at　the　top　of　the　stairs　was　paneled　
with　a　honeycolored　wood；　the　same　as　the　floorboards。　

〃Rosalie　and　Emmett's　room…　Carlisle's　office…　Alice's　room…〃　He　gestured　
as　he　led　me　past　the　doors。　

He　would　have　continued；　but　I　stopped　dead　at　the　end　of　the　hall；　
staring　incredulously　at　the　ornament　hanging　on　the　wall　above　my　head。　
Edward　chuckled　at　my　bewildered　expression。　

〃You　can　laugh；〃　he　said。　〃It　is　sort　of　ironic。〃　

I　didn't　laugh。　My　hand　raised　automatically；　one　finger　extended　as　if　
to　touch　the　large　wooden　cross；　its　dark　patina　contrasting　with　the　
lighter　tone　of　the　wall。　I　didn't　touch　it；　though　I　was　curious　if　the　
aged　wood　would　feel　as　silky　as　it　looked。　

〃It　must　be　very　old；〃　I　guessed。　

He　shrugged。　〃Early　sixteenthirties；　more　or　less。〃　

I　looked　away　from　the　cross　to　stare　at　him。　

〃Why　do　you　keep　this　here？〃　I　wondered。　

〃Nostalgia。　It　belonged　to　Carlisle's　father。〃　

〃He　collected　antiques？〃　I　suggested　doubtfully。　

〃No。　He　carved　this　himself。　It　hung　on　the　wall　above　the　pulpit　in　the　
vicarage　where　he　preached。〃　

I　wasn't　sure　if　my　face　betrayed　my　shock；　but　I　returned　to　gazing　at　
the　simple；　ancient　cross；　just　in　case。　I　quickly　did　the　mental　math；　
the　cross　was　over　three　hundred　and　seventy　years　old。　The　silence　
stretched　on　as　I　struggled　to　wrap　my　mind　around　the　concept　of　so　many　
years。　

〃Are　you　all　right？〃　He　sounded　worried。　

〃How　old　is　Carlisle？〃　I　asked　quietly；　ignoring　his　question；　still　
staring　up。　

〃He　just　celebrated　his　three　hundred　and　sixtysecond　birthday；〃　Edward　
said。　I　looked　back　at　him；　a　million　questions　in　my　eyes。　

He　watched　me　carefully　as　he　spoke。　

〃Carlisle　was　born　in　London；　in　the　sixteenforties；　he　believes。　Time　
wasn't　marked　as　accurately　then；　for　the　mon　people　anyway。　It　was　
just　before　Cromwell's　rule；　though。〃　

I　kept　my　face　posed；　aware　of　his　scrutiny　as　I　listened。　It　was　
easier　if　I　didn't　try　to　believe。　

〃He　was　the　only　son　of　an　Anglican　pastor。　His　mother　died　giving　birth　
to　him。　His　father　was　an　intolerant　man。　As　the　Protestants　came　into　
power；　he　was　enthusiastic　in　his　persecution　of　Roman　Catholics　and　
other　religions。　He　also　believed　very　strongly　in　the　reality　of　evil。　
He　led　hunts　for　witches；　werewolves…　and　vampires。〃　I　grew　very　still　at　
the　word。　I'm　sure　he　noticed；　but　he　went　on　without　pausing。　

〃They　burned　a　lot　of　innocent　people　—　of　course　the　real　creatures　that　
he　sought　were　not　so　easy　to　catch。　

〃When　the　pastor　grew　old；　he　placed　his　obedient　son　in　charge　of　the　
raids。　At　first　Carlisle　was　a　disappointment；　he　was　not　quick　to　
accuse；　to　see　demons　where　they　did　not　exist。　But　he　was　persistent；　
and　more　clever　than　his　father。　He　actually　discovered　a　coven　of　true　
vampires　that　lived　hidden　in　the　sewers　of　the　city；　only　ing　out　by　

night　to　hunt。　In　those　days；　when　monsters　were　not　just　myths　and　
legends；　that　was　the　way　many　lived。　

〃The　people　gathered　their　pitchforks　and　torches；　of　course〃　—　his　brief　
laugh　was　darker　now　—　〃and　waited　where　Carlisle　had　seen　the　monsters　
exit　into　the　street。　Eventually　one　emerged。〃　

His　voice　was　very　quiet；　I　strained　to　catch　the　words。　

〃He　must　have　been　ancient；　and　weak　with　hunger。　Carlisle　heard　him　call　
out　in　Latin　to　the　others　when　he　caught　the　scent　of　the　mob。　He　ran　
through　the　streets；　and　Carlisle　—　he　was　twentythree　and　very　fast　—　
was　in　the　lead　of　the　pursuit。　The　creature　could　have　easily　outrun　
them；　but　Carlisle　thinks　he　was　too　hungry；　so　he　turned　and　attacked。　
He　fell　on　Carlisle　first；　but　the　others　were　close　behind；　and　he　
turned　to　defend　himself。　He　killed　two　men；　and　made　off　with　a　third；　
leaving　Carlisle　bleeding　in　the　street。〃　

He　paused。　I　could　sense　he　was　editing　something；　keeping　something　from　
me。　

〃Carlisle　knew　what　his　father　would　do。　The　bodies　would　be　burned　—　
anything　infected　by　the　monster　must　be　destroyed。　Carlisle　acted　
instinctively　to　save　his　own　life。　He　crawled　away　from　the　alley　while　
the　mob　followed　the　fiend　and　his　victim。　He　hid　in　a　cellar；　buried　
himself　in　rotting　potatoes　for　three　days。　It's　a　miracle　he　was　able　to　
keep　silent；　to　stay　undiscovered。　

〃It　was　over　then；　and　he　realized　what　he　had　bee。〃　

I'm　not　sure　what　my　face　was　revealing；　but　he　suddenly　broke　off。　

〃How　are　you　feeling？〃　he　asked。　

〃I'm　fine；〃　I　assured　him。　And；　though　I　bit　my　lip　in　hesitation；　he　
must　have　seen　the　curiosity　burning　in　my　eyes。　

He　smiled。　〃I　expect　you　have　a　few　more　questions　for　me。〃　

〃A　few。〃　

His　smile　widened　over　his　brilliant　teeth。　He　started　back　down　the　
hall；　pulling　me　along　by　the　hand。　〃e　on；　then；〃　he　encouraged。　〃I'll　
show　you。〃　

===========================================================================　


16。　CARLISLE　




He　led　me　back　to　the　room　that　he'd　pointed　out　as　Carlisle's　office。　He　
paused　outside　the　door　for　an　instant。　

〃e　in；〃　Carlisle's　voice　invited。　

Edward　opened　the　door　to　a　highceilinged　room　with　tall；　westfacing　
windows。　The　walls　were　paneled　again；　in　a　darker　wood　—　where　they　were　
visible。　Most　of　the　wall　space　was　taken　up　by　towering　bookshelves　that　
reached　high　above　my　head　and　held　more　books　than　I'd　ever　seen　outside　
a　library。　

Carlisle　sat　behind　a　huge　mahogany　desk　in　a　leather　chair。　He　was　just　
placing　a　bookmark　in　the　pages　of　the　thick　volume　he　held。　The　room　was　
how　I'd　always　imagined　a　college　dean's　would　look　—　only　Carlisle　
looked　too　young　to　fit　the　part。　

〃What　can　I　do　for　you？〃　he　asked　us　pleasantly；　rising　from　his　seat。　

〃I　wanted　to　show　Bella　some　of　our　history；〃　Edward　said。　〃Well；　your　
history；　actually。〃　

〃We　didn't　mean　to　disturb　you；〃　I　apologized。　

〃Not　at　all。　Where　are　you　going　to　start？〃　

〃The　Waggoner；〃　Edward　replied；　placing　one　hand　lightly　on　my　shoulder　
and　spinning　me　around　to　look　back　toward　the　door　we'd　just　e　
through。　Every　time　he　touched　me；　in　even　the　most　casual　way；　my　heart　
had　an　audible　reaction。　It　was　more　embarrassing　with　Carlisle　there。　

The　wall　we　faced　now　was　different　from　the　others。　Instead　of　
bookshelves；　this　wall　was　crowded　with　framed　pictures　of　all　sizes；　
some　in　vibrant　colors；　others　dull　monochromes。　I　searched　for　some　
logic；　some　binding　motif　the　collection　had　in　mon；　but　I　found　
nothing　in　my　hasty　examination。　

Edward　pulled　me　toward　the　far　left　side；　standing　me　in　front　of　a　
small　square　oil　painting　in　a　plain　wooden　frame。　This　one　did　not　stand　
out　among　the　bigger　and　brighter　pieces；　painted　in　varying　tones　of　
sepia；　it　depicted　a　miniature　city　full　of　steeply　slanted　roofs；　with　
thin　spires　atop　a　few　scattered　towers。　A　wide　river　filled　the　
foreground；　crossed　by　a　bridge　covered　with　structures　that　looked　like　
tiny　cathedrals。　

〃London　in　the　sixteenfifties；〃　Edward　said。　

〃The　London　of　my　youth；〃　Carlisle　added；　from　a　few　feet　behind　us。　I　
flinched；　I　hadn't　heard　him　approach。　Edward　squeezed　my　hand。　

〃Will　you　tell　the　story？〃　Edward　asked。　I　twisted　a　little　to　see　
Carlisle's　reaction。　

He　met　my　glance　and　smiled。　〃I　would；〃　he　replied。　〃But　I'm　actually　
running　a　bit　late。　The　hospital　called　this　morning　—　Dr。　Snow　is　taking　
a　sick　day。　Besides；　you　know　the　stories　as　well　as　I　do；〃　he　added；　
grinning　at　Edward　now。　

It　was　a　strange　bination　to　absorb　—　the　everyday　concerns　of　the　
town　doctor　stuck　in　the　middle　of　a　discussion　of　his　early　days　in　
seventeenthcentury　London。　

It　was　also　unsettling　to　know　that　he　spoke　aloud　only　for　my　benefit。　

After　another　warm　smile　for　me；　Carlisle　left　the　room。　

I　stared　at　the　little　picture　of　Carlisle's　hometown　for　a　long　moment。　

〃What　happened　then？〃　I　finally　asked；　staring　up　at　Edward；　who　was　
watching　me。　〃When　he　realized　what　had　happened　to　him？〃　

He　glanced　back　to　the　paintings；　and　I　looked　to　see　which　image　caught　
his　interest　now。　It　was　a　larger　landscape　in　dull　fall　colors　—　an　
empty；　shadowed　meadow　in　a　forest；　with　a　craggy　peak　in　the　distance。　

〃When　he　knew　what　he　had　bee；〃　Edward　said　quietly；　〃he　rebelled　
against　it。　He　tried　to　destroy　himself。　But　that's　not　easily　done。〃　

〃How？〃　I　didn't　mean　to　say　it　aloud；　but　the　word　broke　through　my　shock。　

〃He　jumped　from　great　heights；〃　Edward　told　me；　his　voice　impassive。　〃He　
tried　to　drown　himself　in　the　ocean…　but　he　was　young　to　the　new　life；　
and　very　strong。　It　is　amazing　that　he　was　able　to　resist…　feeding…　while　
he　was　still　so　new。　The　instinct　is　more　powerful　then；　it　takes　over　
everything。　But　he　was　so　repelled　by　himself　that　he　had　the　strength　to　
try　to　kill　himself　with　starvation。〃　

〃Is　that　possible？〃　My　voice　was　faint。　

〃No；　there　are　very　few　ways　we　can　be　killed。〃　

I　opened　my　mouth　to　ask；　but　he　spoke　before　I　could。　

〃So　he　grew　very　hungry；　and　eventually　weak。　He　strayed　as　far　as　he　
could　from　the　human　populace；　recognizing　that　his　willpower　was　
weakening；　too。　For　months　he　wandered　by　night；　seeking　the　loneliest　
places；　loathing　himself。　

〃One　night；　a　herd　of　deer　passed　his　hiding　place。　He　was　so　wild　with　
thirst　that　he　attacked　without　a　thought。　His　strength　returned　and　he　
realized　there　was　an　alternative　to　being　the　vile　monster　he　feared。　
Had　he　not　eaten　venison　in　his　former　life？　Over　the　next　months　his　new　
philosophy　was　born。　He　could　exist　without　being　a　demon。　He　found　
himself　again。　

〃He　began　to　make　better　use　of　his　time。　He'd　always　been　intelligent；　
eager　to　learn。　Now　he　had　unlimited　time　before　him。　He　studied　by　
night；　planned　by　day。　He　swam　to　France　and　—〃　

〃He　swam　to　France？〃　

〃People　swim　the　Channel　all　the　time；　Bella；〃　he　reminded　me　patiently。　

〃That's　true；　I　guess。　It　just　sounded　funny　in　that　context。　Go　on。〃　

〃Swimming　is　easy　for　us　—〃　

〃Everything　is　easy　for　you；〃　I　griped。　

He　waited；　his　expression　amused。　

〃I　won't　interrupt　again；　I　promise。〃　

He　chuckled　darkly；　and　finished　his　sentence。　〃Because；　technically；　we　
don't　need　to　breathe。〃　

〃You　—〃　

〃No；　no；　you　promised。〃　He　laughed；　putting　his　cold　finger　lightly　to　my　
lips。　〃Do　you　want　to　hear　the　story　or　not？〃　

〃You　can't　spring　something　like　that　on　me；　and　then　expect　me　not　to　
say　anything；〃　I　mumbled　against　his　finger。　

He　lifted　his　hand；　moving　it　to　rest　against　my　neck。　The　speed　of　my　
heart　reacted　to　that；　but　I　persisted。　

〃You　don't　have　to　breathe？〃　I　demanded。　

〃No；　it's　not　necessary。　Just　a　habit。〃　He　shrugged。　

〃How　long　can　you　go…　without　breathing？〃　

〃Indefinitely；　I　suppose；　I　don't　know。　It　gets　a　bit　unfortable　—　
being　without　a　sense　of　smell。〃　

〃A　bit　unfortable；〃　I　echoed。　

I　wasn't　paying　attention　to　my　own　expression；　but　something　in　it　made　
him　grow　somber。　His　hand　dropped　to　his　side　and　he　stood　very　still；　
his　eyes　intent　on　my　face。　The　silence　lengthened。　His　features　were　
immobile　as　stone。　

〃What　is　it？〃　I　whispered；　touching　his　frozen　face。　

His　face　softened　under　my　hand；　and　he　sighed。　〃I　keep　waiting　for　it　to　
happen。〃　

〃For　what　to　happen？〃　

〃I　know　that　at　some　point；　something　I　tell　you　or　something　you　see　is　
going　to　be　too　much。　And　then　you'll　run　away　from　me；　screaming　as　you　
go。〃　He　smiled　half　a　smile；　but　his　eyes　were　serious。　〃I　won't　stop　

you。　I　want　this　to　happen；　because　I　want　you　to　be　safe。　And　yet；　I　
want　to　be　with　you。　The　two　desires　are　impossible　to　reconcile…〃　He　
trailed　off；　staring　at　my　face。　Waiting。　

〃I'm　not　running　anywhere；〃　I　promised。　

〃We'll　see；〃　he　said；　smiling　again。　

I　frowned　at　him。　〃So；　go　on　—　Carlisle　was　swimming　to　France。〃　

He　paused；　getting　back　into　his　story。　Reflexively；　his　eyes　flickered　
to　another　picture　—　the　most　colorful　of