1 twilight暮色-第38部分

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discovered　my　duffel　bag　on　top　of　the　low　dresser。　

I　was　on　my　way　to　find　new　clothes　when　a　light　tap　on　the　door　made　me　
jump。　

〃Can　I　e　in？〃　Alice　asked。　

I　took　a　deep　breath。　〃Sure。〃　

She　walked　in；　and　looked　me　over　cautiously。　〃You　look　like　you　could　
sleep　longer；〃　she　said。　

I　just　shook　my　head。　

She　drifted　silently　to　the　curtains　and　closed　them　securely　before　
turning　back　to　me。　

〃We'll　need　to　stay　inside；〃　she　told　me。　

〃Okay。〃　My　voice　was　hoarse；　it　cracked。　

〃Thirsty？〃　she　asked。　

I　shrugged。　〃I'm　okay。　How　about　you？〃　

〃Nothing　unmanageable。〃　She　smiled。　〃I　ordered　some　food　for　you；　it's　in　
the　front　room。　Edward　reminded　me　that　you　have　to　eat　a　lot　more　
frequently　than　we　do。〃　

I　was　instantly　more　alert。　〃He　called？〃　

〃No；〃　she　said；　and　watched　as　my　face　fell。　〃It　was　before　we　left。〃　

She　took　my　hand　carefully　and　led　me　through　the　door　into　the　living　
room　of　the　hotel　suite。　I　could　hear　a　low　buzz　of　voices　ing　from　
the　TV。　Jasper　sat　motionlessly　at　the　desk　in　the　corner；　his　eyes　
watching　the　news　with　no　glimmer　of　interest。　

I　sat　on　the　floor　next　to　the　coffee　table；　where　a　tray　of　food　waited；　
and　began　picking　at　it　without　noticing　what　I　was　eating。　

Alice　perched　on　the　arm　of　the　sofa　and　stared　blankly　at　the　TV　like　
Jasper。　

I　ate　slowly；　watching　her；　turning　now　and　then　to　glance　quickly　at　
Jasper。　It　began　to　dawn　on　me　that　they　were　too　still。　They　never　
looked　away　from　the　screen；　though　mercials　were　playing　now。　I　
pushed　the　tray　away；　my　stomach　abruptly　uneasy。　Alice　looked　down　at　me。　

〃What's　wrong；　Alice？〃　I　asked。　

〃Nothing's　wrong。〃　Her　eyes　were　wide；　honest…　and　I　didn't　trust　them。　

〃What　do　we　do　now？〃　

〃We　wait　for　Carlisle　to　call。〃　

〃And　should　he　have　called　by　now？〃　I　could　see　that　I　was　near　the　mark。　

Alice's　eyes　flitted　from　mine　to　the　phone　on　top　of　her　leather　bag　and　
back。　

〃What　does　that　mean？〃　My　voice　quavered；　and　I　fought　to　control　it。　
〃That　he　hasn't　called　yet？〃　

〃It　just　means　that　they　don't　have　anything　to　tell　us。〃　

But　her　voice　was　too　even；　and　the　air　was　harder　to　breathe。　

Jasper　was　suddenly　beside　Alice；　closer　to　me　than　usual。　

〃Bella；〃　he　said　in　a　suspiciously　soothing　voice。　〃You　have　nothing　to　
worry　about。　You　are　pletely　safe　here。〃　

〃I　know　that。〃　

〃Then　why　are　you　frightened？〃　he　asked；　confused。　He　might　feel　the　
tenor　of　my　emotions；　but　he　couldn't　read　the　reasons　behind　them。　

〃You　heard　what　Laurent　said。〃　My　voice　was　just　a　whisper；　but　I　was　
sure　they　could　hear　me。　〃He　said　James　was　lethal。　What　if　something　
goes　wrong；　and　they　get　separated？　If　something　happens　to　any　of　them；　
Carlisle；　Emmett…　Edward…〃　I　gulped。　〃If　that　wild　female　hurts　Esme…〃　My　
voice　had　grown　higher；　a　note　of　hysteria　beginning　to　rise　in　it。　〃How　
could　I　live　with　myself　when　it's　my　fault？　None　of　you　should　be　
risking　yourselves　for　me　—〃　

〃Bella；　Bella；　stop；〃　he　interrupted　me；　his　words　pouring　out　so　quickly　
they　were　hard　to　understand。　〃You're　worrying　about　all　the　wrong　
things；　Bella。　Trust　me　on　this　—　none　of　us　are　in　jeopardy。　You　are　
under　too　much　strain　as　it　is；　don't　add　to　it　with　wholly　unnecessary　
worries。　Listen　to　me！〃　he　ordered；　for　I　had　looked　away。　〃Our　family　is　
strong。　Our　only　fear　is　losing　you。〃　

〃But　why　should　you　—〃　

Alice　interrupted　this　time；　touching　my　cheek　with　her　cold　fingers。　
〃It's　been　almost　a　century　that　Edward's　been　alone。　Now　he's　found　you。　
You　can't　see　the　changes　that　we　see；　we　who　have　been　with　him　for　so　
long。　Do　you　think　any　of　us　want　to　look　into　his　eyes　for　the　next　
hundred　years　if　he　loses　you？〃　

My　guilt　slowly　subsided　as　I　looked　into　her　dark　eyes。　But；　even　as　the　
calm　spread　over　me；　I　knew　I　couldn't　trust　my　feelings　with　Jasper　
there。　

It　was　a　very　long　day。　

We　stayed　in　the　room。　Alice　called　down　to　the　front　desk　and　asked　them　
to　ignore　our　maid　service　for　now。　The　windows　stayed　shut；　the　TV　on；　
though　no　one　watched　it。　At　regular　intervals；　food　was　delivered　for　
me。　The　silver　phone　resting　on　Alice's　bag　seemed　to　grow　bigger　as　the　
hours　passed。　

My　babysitters　handled　the　suspense　better　than　I　did。　As　I　fidgeted　and　
paced；　they　simply　grew　more　still；　two　statues　whose　eyes　followed　me　
imperceptibly　as　I　moved。　I　occupied　myself　with　memorizing　the　room；　the　
striped　pattern　of　the　couches；　tan；　peach；　cream；　dull　gold；　and　tan　
again。　Sometimes　I　stared　at　the　abstract　prints；　randomly　finding　
pictures　in　the　shapes；　like　I'd　found　pictures　in　the　clouds　as　a　child。　
I　traced　a　blue　hand；　a　woman　bing　her　hair；　a　cat　stretching。　But　
when　the　pale　red　circle　became　a　staring　eye；　I　looked　away。　

As　the　afternoon　wore　on；　I　went　back　to　bed；　simply　for　something　to　do。　
I　hoped　that　by　myself　in　the　dark；　I　could　give　in　to　the　terrible　fears　
that　hovered　on　the　edge　of　my　consciousness；　unable　to　break　through　
under　Jasper's　careful　supervision。　

But　Alice　followed　me　casually；　as　if　by　some　coincidence　she　had　grown　
tired　of　the　front　room　at　the　same　time。　I　was　beginning　to　wonder　
exactly　what　sort　of　instructions　Edward　had　given　her。　I　lay　across　the　

bed；　and　she　sat；　legs　folded；　next　to　me。　I　ignored　her　at　first；　
suddenly　tired　enough　to　sleep。　But　after　a　few　minutes；　the　panic　that　
had　held　off　in　Jasper's　presence　began　to　make　itself　known。　I　gave　up　
on　the　idea　of　sleep　quickly　then；　curling　up　into　a　small　ball；　wrapping　
my　arms　around　my　legs。　

〃Alice？〃　I　asked。　

〃Yes？〃　

I　kept　my　voice　very　calm。　〃What　do　you　think　they're　doing？〃　

〃Carlisle　wanted　to　lead　the　tracker　as　far　north　as　possible；　wait　for　
him　to　get　close；　and　then　turn　and　ambush　him。　Esme　and　Rosalie　were　
supposed　to　head　west　as　long　as　they　could　keep　the　female　behind　them。　
If　she　turned　around；　they　were　to　head　back　to　Forks　and　keep　an　eye　on　
your　dad。　So　I　imagine　things　are　going　well　if　they　can't　call。　It　means　
the　tracker　is　close　enough　that　they　don't　want　him　to　overhear。〃　

〃And　Esme？〃　

〃I　think　she　must　be　back　in　Forks。　She　won't　call　if　there's　any　chance　
the　female　will　overhear。　I　expect　they're　all　just　being　very　careful。〃　

〃Do　you　think　they're　safe；　really？〃　

〃Bella；　how　many　times　do　we　have　to　tell　you　that　there's　no　danger　to　
us？〃　

〃Would　you　tell　me　the　truth；　though？〃　

〃Yes。　I　will　always　tell　you　the　truth。〃　Her　voice　was　earnest。　

I　deliberated　for　a　moment；　and　decided　she　meant　it。　

〃Tell　me　then…　how　do　you　bee　a　vampire？〃　

My　question　caught　her　off　guard。　She　was　quiet。　I　rolled　over　to　look　at　
her；　and　her　expression　seemed　ambivalent。　

〃Edward　doesn't　want　me　to　tell　you　that；〃　she　said　firmly；　but　I　sensed　
she　didn't　agree。　

〃That's　not　fair。　I　think　I　have　a　right　to　know。〃　

〃I　know。〃　

I　looked　at　her；　waiting。　

She　sighed。　〃He'll　be　extremely　angry。〃　

〃It's　none　of　his　business。　This　is　between　you　and　me。　Alice；　as　a　
friend；　I'm　begging　you。〃　And　we　were　friends　now；　somehow　—　as　she　must　
have　known　we　would　be　all　along。　

She　looked　at　me　with　her　splendid；　wise　eyes…　choosing。　

〃I'll　tell　you　the　mechanics　of　it；〃　she　said　finally；　〃but　I　don't　
remember　it　myself；　and　I've　never　done　it　or　seen　it　done；　so　keep　in　
mind　that　I　can　only　tell　you　the　theory。〃　

I　waited。　

〃As　predators；　we　have　a　glut　of　weapons　in　our　physical　arsenal　—　much；　
much　more　than　really　necessary。　The　strength；　the　speed；　the　acute　
senses；　not　to　mention　those　of　us　like　Edward；　Jasper；　and　I；　who　have　
extra　senses　as　well。　And　then；　like　a　carnivorous　flower；　we　are　
physically　attractive　to　our　prey。〃　

I　was　very　still；　remembering　how　pointedly　Edward　had　demonstrated　the　
same　concept　for　me　in　the　meadow。　

She　smiled　a　wide；　ominous　smile。　〃We　have　another　fairly　superfluous　
weapon。　We're　also　venomous；〃　she　said；　her　teeth　glistening。　〃The　venom　
doesn't　kill　—　it's　merely　incapacitating。　It　works　slowly；　spreading　
through　the　bloodstream；　so　that；　once　bitten；　our　prey　is　in　too　much　
physical　pain　to　escape　us。　Mostly　superfluous；　as　I　said。　If　we're　that　
close；　the　prey　doesn't　escape。　Of　course；　there　are　always　exceptions。　
Carlisle；　for　example。〃　

〃So…　if　the　venom　is　left　to　spread…〃　I　murmured。　

〃It　takes　a　few　days　for　the　transformation　to　be　plete；　depending　on　
how　much　venom　is　in　the　bloodstream；　how　close　the　venom　enters　to　the　
heart。　As　long　as　the　heart　keeps　beating；　the　poison　spreads；　healing；　
changing　the　body　as　it　moves　through　it。　Eventually　the　heart　stops；　and　
the　conversion　is　finished。　But　all　that　time；　every　minute　of　it；　a　
victim　would　be　wishing　for　death。〃　

I　shivered。　

〃It's　not　pleasant；　you　see。〃　

〃Edward　said　that　it　was　very　hard　to　do…　I　don't　quite　understand；〃　I　
said。　

〃We're　also　like　sharks　in　a　way。　Once　we　taste　the　blood；　or　even　smell　
it　for　that　matter；　it　bees　very　hard　to　keep　from　feeding。　Sometimes　
impossible。　So　you　see；　to　actually　bite　someone；　to　taste　the　blood；　it　
would　begin　the　frenzy。　It's　difficult　on　both　sides　—　the　bloodlust　on　
the　one　hand；　the　awful　pain　on　the　other。〃　

〃Why　do　you　think　you　don't　remember？〃　

〃I　don't　know。　For　everyone　else；　the　pain　of　transformation　is　the　
sharpest　memory　they　have　of　their　human　life。　I　remember　nothing　of　
being　human。〃　Her　voice　was　wistful。　

We　lay　silently；　wrapped　in　our　individual　meditations。　

The　seconds　ticked　by；　and　I　had　almost　forgotten　her　presence；　I　was　so　
enveloped　in　my　thoughts。　

Then；　without　any　warning；　Alice　leaped　from　the　bed；　landing　lightly　on　
her　feet。　My　head　jerked　up　as　I　stared　at　her；　startled。　

〃Something's　changed。〃　Her　voice　was　urgent；　and　she　wasn't　talking　to　me　
anymore。　

She　reached　the　door　at　the　same　time　Jasper　did。　He　had　obviously　heard　
our　conversation　and　her　sudden　exclamation。　He　put　his　hands　on　her　
shoulders　and　guided　her　back　to　the　bed；　sitting　her　on　the　edge。　

〃What　do　you　see？〃　he　asked　intently；　staring　into　her　eyes。　Her　eyes　
were　focused　on　something　very　far　away。　I　sat　close　to　her；　leaning　in　
to　catch　her　low；　quick　voice。　

〃I　see　a　room。　It's　long；　and　there　are　mirrors　everywhere。　The　floor　is　
wooden。　He's　in　the　room；　and　he's　waiting。　There's　gold…　a　gold　stripe　
across　the　mirrors。〃　

〃Where　is　the　room？〃　

〃I　don't　know。　Something　is　missing　—　another　decision　hasn't　been　made　
yet。〃　

〃How　much　time？〃　

〃It's　soon。　He'll　be　in　the　mirror　room　today；　or　maybe　tomorrow。　It　all　
depends。　He's　waiting　for　something。　And　he's　in　the　dark　now。〃　

Jasper's　voice　was　calm；　methodical；　as　he　questioned　her　in　a　practiced　
way。　〃What　is　he　doing？〃　

〃He's　watching　TV…　no；　he's　running　a　VCR；　in　the　dark；　in　another　place。〃　

〃Can　you　see　where　he　is？〃　

〃No；　it's　too　dark。〃　

〃And　the　mirror　room；　what　else　is　there？〃　

〃Just　the　mirrors；　and　the　gold。　It's　a　band；　around　the　room。　And　
there's　a　black　table　with　a　big　stereo；　and　a　TV。　He's　touching　the　VCR　
there；　but　he　doesn't　watch　the　way　he　does　in　the　dark　room。　This　is　the　
room　where　he　waits。〃　Her　eyes　drifted；　then　focused　on　Jasper's　face。　

〃There's　nothing　else？〃　

She　shook　her　head。　They　looked　at　each　other；　motionless。　

〃What　does　it　mean？〃　I　asked。　

Neither　of　them　answered　for　a　moment；　then　Jasper　looked　at　me。　

〃It　means　the　tracker's　plans　have　changed。　He's　made　a　decision　that　
will　lead　him　to　the　mirror　room；　and　the　dark　room。〃　

〃But　we　don't　know　where　those　rooms　are？〃　

〃No。〃　

〃But　we　do　know　that　he　won't　be　in　the　mountains　north　of　Washington；　
being　hunted。　He'll　elude　them。〃　Alice's　voice　was　bleak。　

〃Should　we　call？〃　I　asked。　They　traded　a　serious　look；　undecided。　

And　the　phone　rang。　

Alice　was　across　the　room　before　I　could　lift　my　head　to　look　at　it。　

She　pushed　a　button　and　held　the　phone　to　her　ear；　but　she　didn't　speak　
first。　

〃Carlisle；〃　she　breathed。　She　didn't　seem　surprised　or　relieved；　the　way　
I　felt。　

〃Yes；〃　she　said；　glancing　at　me。　She　listened　for　a　long　moment。　

〃I　just　saw　him。〃　She　described　again　the　vision　she'd　seen。　〃Whatever　
made　him　get　on　that　plane…　it　was　leading　him　to　those　rooms。〃　She　
paused。　〃Yes；〃　Alice　said　into　the　phone；　and　then　she　spoke　to　me。　
〃Bella？〃　

She　held　the　phone　out　toward　me。　I　ran　to　it。　

〃Hello？〃　I　breathed。　

〃Bella；〃　Edward　said。　

〃Oh；　Edward！　I　was　so　worried。〃　

〃Bella；〃　he　sighed　in　frustration；　〃I　told　you　not　to　worry　about　
anything　but　yourself。〃　It　was　so　unbelievably　good　to　hear　his　voice。　I　
felt　the　hovering　cloud　of　despair　lighten　and　drift　back　as　he　spoke。　

〃Where　are　you？〃　

〃We're　outside　of　Vancouver。　Bella；　I'm　sorry　—　we　lost　him。　He　seems　
suspicious　of　us　—　he's　careful　to　stay　just　far　enough　away　that　I　can't　
hear　what　he's　thinking。　But　he's　gone　now　—　it　looks　like　he　got　on　a　
plane。　We　think　he's　heading　back　to　Forks　to　start　over。〃　I　could　hear　
Alice　filling　in　Jasper　behind　me；　her　quick　words　blurring　together　into　
a　humming　noise。　

〃I　know。　Alice　saw　that　he　got　away。〃　

〃You　don't　have　to　worry；　though。　He　won't　find　anything　to　lead　him　to　
you。　You　just　have　to　stay　there　and　wait　till　we　find　him　again。〃　

〃I'll　be　fine。　Is　Esme　with　Charlie？〃　

〃Yes　—　the　female　has　been　in　town。　She　went　to　the　house；　but　while　
Charlie　was　at　work。　She　hasn't　gone　near　him；　so　don't　be　afraid。　He's　
safe　with　Esme　and　Rosalie　watching。〃　

〃What　is　she　doing？〃　

〃Probably　trying　to　pick　up　the　trail。　She's　been　all　through　the　town　
during　the　night。　Rosalie　traced　her　through　the　airport；　all　the　roads　
around　town；　the　school…　she's　digging；　Bella；　but　there's　nothing　to　
find。〃　

〃And　you're　sure　Charlie's　safe？〃　

〃Yes；　Esme　won't　let　him　out　of　her　sight。　And　we'll　be　there　soon。　If　
the　tracker　gets　anywhere　near　Forks；　we'll　have　him。〃　

〃I　miss　you；〃　I　whispered。　

〃I　know；　Bella。　Believe　me；　I　know。　It's　like　you've　taken　half　my　self　
away　with　you。〃　

〃e　and　get　it；　then；〃　I　challenged。　

〃Soon；　as　soon　as　I　possibly　can。　I　will　make　you　safe　first。〃　His　voice　
was　hard。　

〃I　love　you；〃　I　reminded　him。　

〃Could　you　believe　that；　despite　everything　I've　put　you　through；　I　love　
you；　too？〃　

〃Yes；　I　can；　actually。〃　

〃I'll　e　for　you　soon。〃　

〃I'll　be　waiting。〃　

As　soon　as　the　phone　went　dead；　the　cloud　of　depression　began　to　creep　
over　me　again。　

I　turned　to　give　the　phone　back　to　Alice　and　found　her　and　Jasper　bent　
over　the　table；　where　Alice　was　sketching　on　a　piece　of　hotel　stationery。　
I　leaned　on　the　back　of　the　couch；　looking　over　her　shoulder。　

She　drew　a　room：　long；　rectangular；　with　a　thinner；　square　section　at　the　
back。　The　wooden　planks　that　made　up　the　floor　stretched　lengthwise　
across　the　room。　Down　the　walls　were　lines　denoting　the　breaks　in　the　
mirrors。　And　then；　wrapping　around　the　walls；　waist　high；　a　long　band。　
The　band　Alice　said　was　gold。　

〃It's　a　ballet　studio；〃　I　said；　suddenly　recognizing　the　familiar　shapes。　

They　looked　at　me；　surprised。　

〃Do　you　know　this　room？〃　Ja