4 breaking dawn破晓-第10部分

快捷操作: 按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页 按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页 按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部! 如果本书没有阅读完，想下次继续接着阅读，可使用上方 "收藏到我的浏览器" 功能 和 "加入书签" 功能！


it　would　be　worse？　Do　you　consider　the　experiment　a　success　because　you　can　walk　away　from　it？　No　
broken　bones—that　

equals　a　victory？〃　

I　waited；　letting　him　get　it　all　out。　Then　I　waited　some　more　while　his　breathing　went　back　to　normal。　
When　his　eyes　were　calm；　I　answered；　speaking　with　slow　precision。　

〃I　didn't　know　what　to　expect—but　I　definitely　did　not　expect　how。。。　how。。。　just　wonderful　and　perfect　it　
was。〃　My　voice　dropped　to　a　whisper；　my　eyes　slipped　from　his　face　down　to　my　hands。　〃I　mean；　I　don't　
know　how　it　was　for　you；　but　it　was　like　that　for　me。〃　

A　cool　finger　pulled　my　chin　back　up。　

〃Is　that　what　you're　worried　about？〃　he　said　through　his　teeth。　〃That　I　didn't　enjoy　myself？〃　

My　eyes　stayed　down。　〃I　know　it's　not　the　same。　You're　not　human。　I　just　was　trying　to　explain　that；　for　
a　human；　well；　I　can't　imagine　that　life　gets　any　better　than　that。〃　

He　was　quiet　for　so　long　that；　finally；　I　had　to　look　up。　His　face　was　softer　now；　thoughtful。　

〃It　seems　that　I　have　more　to　apologize　for。〃　He　frowned。　〃I　didn't　dream　that　you　would　construe　the　
way　I　feel　about　what　I　did　to　you　to　mean　that　last　night　wasn't。。。　well；　the　best　night　of　my　existence。　
But　I　don't　want　to　think　of　it　that　way；　not　when　you　were　。。。〃　

My　lips　curved　up　a　little　at　the　edges。　〃Really？　The　best　ever？〃　I　asked　in　a　small　voice。　

He　took　my　face　between　his　hands；　still　introspective。　〃I　spoke　to　Carlisle　after　you　and　I　made　our　
bargain；　hoping　he　could　help　me。　Of　course　he　warned　me　that　this　would　be　very　dangerous　for　you。〃　



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A　shadow　crossed　his　expression。　〃He　had　faith　in　me；　though—faith　I　didn't　deserve。〃　

I　started　to　protest；　and　he　put　two　fingers　over　my　lips　before　I　could　ment。　

〃I　also　asked　him　what　　should　expect。　I　didn't　know　what　it　would　be　for　me。。。　what　with　my　being　a　
vampire。〃　He　smiled　halfheartedly。　〃Carlisle　told　me　it　was　a　very　powerful　thing；　like　nothing　else。　He　
told　me　physical　love　was　something　I　should　not　treat　lightly。　With　our　rarely　changing　temperaments；　
strong　emotions　can　alter　us　in　permanent　ways。　But　he　said　I　did　not　need　to　worry　about　that　part　
—you　had　already　altered　me　so　pletely。〃　This　time　his　smile　was　more　genuine。　

〃I　spoke　to　my　brothers；　too。　They　told　me　it　was　a　very　great　pleasure。　Second　only　to　drinking　human　
blood。〃　A　line　creased　his　brow。　〃But　I've　tasted　your　blood；　and　there　could　be　no　blood　more　potent　
than　that。。。　I　don't　think　they　were　wrong；　really。　Just　that　it　was　different　for　us。　Something　more。〃　

〃It　was　more。　It　was　everything。〃　

〃That　doesn't　change　the　fact　that　it　was　wrong。　Even　if　it　were　possible　that　you　really　did　feel　that　way。〃　

〃What　does　that　mean？　Do　you　think　I'm　making　this　up？　Why？〃　

〃To　ease　my　guilt。　I　can't　ignore　the　evidence；　Bella。　Or　your　history　of　trying　to　let　me　off　the　hook　
when　I　make　mistakes。〃　

I　grabbed　his　chin　and　leaned　forward　so　that　our　faces　were　inches　apart。　〃You　listen　to　me；　Edward　
Cullen。　I　am　not　pretending　anything　for　your　sake；　okay？　I　didn't　even　know　there　was　a　reason　to　make　
you　feel　better　until　you　started　being　all　miserable。　I've　never　been　so　happy　in　all　my　life—I　wasn't　this　
happy　when　you　decided　that　

you　loved　me　more　than　you　wanted　to　kill　me；　or　the　first　morning　I　woke　up　and　you　were　there　
waiting　for　me。。。。　Not　when　I　heard　your　voice　in　the　ballet　studio〃—he　flinched　at　the　old　memory　of　my　
close　call　with　a　hunting　vampire；　but　I　didn't　pause—〃or　when　you　said　i　do'　and　I　realized　that；　
somehow；　I　get　to　keep　you　forever。　Those　are　the　happiest　memories　I　have；　and　this　is　better　than　any　
of　it。　So　just　deal　with　it。〃　

He　touched　the　frown　line　between　my　eyebrows。　Tm　making　you　unhappy　now。　I　don't　want　to　do　
that。〃　

〃Then　don't　you　be　unhappy。　That's　the　only　thing　that's　wrong　here。〃　

His　eyes　tightened；　then　he　took　a　deep　breath　and　nodded。　〃You're　right。　The　past　is　past　and　I　can't　
do　anything　to　change　it。　There's　no　sense　in　letting　my　mood　sour　this　time　for　you。　HI　do　whatever　I　can　
to　make　you　happy　now。〃　

I　examined　his　face　suspiciously；　and　he　gave　me　a　serene　smile。　

〃Whatever　makes　me　happy？〃　

My　stomach　growled　at　the　same　time　that　I　asked。　

〃You're　hungry；〃　he　said　quickly。　He　was　swiftly　out　of　the　bed；　stirring　up　a　cloud　of　feathers。　Which　
reminded　me。　



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〃So；　why　exactly　did　you　decide　to　ruin　Esme's　pillows？〃　I　asked；　sitting　up　and　shaking　more　down　
from　my　hair。　

He　had　already　pulled　on　a　pair　of　loose　khaki　pants；　and　he　stood　by　the　door；　rumpling　his　hair；　
dislodging　a　few　feathers　of　his　own。　

〃I　don't　know　if　I　decided　to　do　anything　last　night；〃　he　muttered。　〃We're　just　lucky　it　was　the　pillows　
and　not　you。〃　He　inhaled　deeply　and　then　shook　his　head；　as　if　shaking　off　the　dark　thought。　A　very　
authenticlooking　smile　spread　across　his　face；　but　I　guessed　it　took　a　lot　of　work　to　put　it　there。　

I　slid　carefully　off　the　high　bed　and　stretched　again；　more　aware；　now；　of　the　aches　and　sore　spots。　I　
heard　him　gasp。　He　turned　away　from　me；　and　his　hands　balled　up；　knuckles　white。　

〃Do　I　look　that　hideous？〃　I　asked；　working　to　keep　my　tone　light。　His　breath　caught；　but　he　didn't　turn；　
probably　to　hide　his　expression　from　me。　I　walked　to　the　bathroom　to　check　for　myself。　

I　stared　at　my　naked　body　in　the　fulllength　mirror　behind　the　door。　

I'd　definitely　had　worse。　There　was　a　faint　shadow　across　one　of　my　cheekbones；　and　my　lips　were　a　
little　swollen；　but　other　than　that；　my　face　was　fine。　The　rest　of　me　was　decorated　with　patches　of　blue　
and　purple。　I　concentrated　on　the　bruises　that　would　be　the　hardest　to　hide—my　arms　and　my　shoulders。　
They　weren't　so　bad。　My　skin　marked　up　easily。　By　the　time　a　bruise　showed　I'd　usually　forgotten　how　
I'd　e　by　it。　Of　course；　these　were　just　developing。　I'd　look　even　worse　tomorrow。　That　would　not　
make　things　any　easier。　

I　looked　at　my　hair；　then；　and　groaned。　

〃Bella？〃　He　was　right　there　behind　me　as　soon　as　I'd　made　a　sound。　

〃I'll　never　get　this　all　out　of　my　hair！〃　I　pointed　to　my　head；　where　it　looked　like　a　chicken　was　nesting。　I　
started　picking　at　the　feathers。　

〃You　would　be　worried　about　your　hair；〃　he　mumbled；　but　he　came　to　stand　behind　me；　pulling　out　the　
feathers　

much　more　quickly。　

〃How　did　you　keep　from　laughing　at　this？　I　look　ridiculous。〃　

He　didn't　answer；　he　just　kept　plucking。　And　I　knew　the　answer　anyway—there　was　nothing　that　would　
be　funny　to　him　in　this　mood。　

'This　isn't　going　to　work；〃　I　sighed　after　a　minute。　〃It's　all　dried　in。　I'm　going　to　have　to　try　to　wash　it　out。〃　
I　turned　around；　wrapping　my　arms　around　his　cool　waist。　〃Do　you　want　to　help　me？〃　

Td　better　find　some　food　for　you；〃　he　said　in　a　quiet　voice；　and　he　gently　unwound　my　arms。　I　sighed　as　
he　disappeared；　moving　too　fast。　

It　looked　like　my　honeymoon　was　over。　The　thought　put　a　big　lump　in　my　throat。　




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When　I　was　mostly　featherfree　and　dressed　in　an　unfamiliar　white　cotton　dress　that　concealed　the　worst　
of　the　violet　blotches；　I　padded　off　barefoot　to　where　the　smell　of　eggs　and　bacon　and　Cheddar　cheese　
was　ing　from。　

Edward　stood　in　front　of　the　stainless　steel　stove；　sliding　an　omelet　onto　the　light　blue　plate　waiting　on　the　
counter。　The　scent　of　the　food　overwhelmed　me。　I　felt　like　I　could　eat　the　plate　and　the　frying　pan；　too；　
my　stomach　snarled。　

〃Here；〃　he　said。　He　turned　with　a　smile　on　his　face　and　set　the　plate　on　a　small　tiled　table。　

I　sat　in　one　of　the　two　metal　chairs　and　started　snarfing　down　the　hot　eggs。　They　burned　my　throat；　but　I　
didn't　care。　

He　sat　down　across　from　me。　〃I'm　not　feeding　you　often　enough。〃　

I　swallowed　and　then　reminded　him；　〃I　was　asleep。　This　is　really　good；　by　the　way。　Impressive　for　
someone　who　doesn't　eat。〃　

〃Food　work；〃　he　said；　flashing　my　favorite　crooked　smile。　

I　was　happy　to　see　it；　happy　that　he　seemed　more　like　his　normal　self。　

〃Where　did　the　eggs　e　from？〃　

〃I　asked　the　cleaning　crew　to　stock　the　kitchen。　A　first；　for　this　place。　I'll　have　to　ask　them　to　deal　with　
the　feathers。。。。　〃　He　trailed　off；　his　gaze　fixed　on　a　space　above　my　head。　I　didn't　respond；　trying　to　avoid　
saying　anything　that　would　upset　him　again。　

I　ate　everything；　though　he'd　made　enough　for　two。　

〃Thank　you；〃　I　told　him。　I　leaned　across　the　table　to　kiss　him。　He　kissed　me　back　automatically；　and　then　
suddenly　stiffened　and　leaned　away。　

I　gritted　my　teeth；　and　the　question　I　meant　to　ask　came　out　sounding　like　an　accusation。　〃You　aren't　
going　to　touch　me　again　while　we're　here；　are　you？〃　

He　hesitated；　then　halfsmiled　and　raised　his　hand　to　stroke　my　cheek。　His　fingers　lingered　softly　on　my　
skin；　and　I　couldn't　help　leaning　my　face　into　his　palm。　

〃You　know　that's　not　what　I　meant。〃　

He　sighed　and　dropped　his　hand。　〃I　know。　And　you're　right。〃　He　paused；　lifting　his　chin　slightly。　And　
then　he　spoke　again　with　firm　conviction。　〃I　will　not　make　love　with　you　until　you've　been　changed。　I　will　
never　hurt　you　again。〃　

6。　DISTRACTIONS　

My　entertainment　became　the　numberone　priority　on　isle　Esme。　We　snorkeled　（well；　I　snorkeled　while　
he　flaunted　his　ability　to　go　without　oxygen　indefinitely）。　We　explored　the　small　jungle　that　ringed　the　
rocky　little　peak。　We　visited　the　parrots　that　lived　in　the　canopy　on　the　south　end　of　the　island。　We　
watched　the　sunset　from　the　rocky　western　cove。　We　swam　with　the　porpoises　that　played　in　the　warm；　



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shallow　waters　there。　Or　at　least　I　did；　when　Edward　was　in　the　water；　the　porpoises　disappeared　as　if　a　
shark　was　near。　

I　knew　what　was　going　on。　He　was　trying　to　keep　me　busy；　distracted；　so　I　that　wouldn't　continue　
badgering　him　about　the　sex　thing。　Whenever　I　tried　to　talk　him　into　taking　it　easy　with　one　of　the　million　
DVDs　under　the　bigscreen　plasma　TV；　he　would　lure　me　out　of　the　house　with　magic　words　like　coral　
reefs　and　submerged　caves　and　sea　turtles。　We　were　going；　going；　going　all　day；　so　that　I　found　myself　
pletely　famished　and　exhausted　when　the　sun　eventually　set。　

I　drooped　over　my　plate　after　I　finished　dinner　every　night；　once　I'd　actually　fallen　asleep　right　at　the　
table　and　he'd　had　to　carry　me　to　bed。　Part　of　it　was　that　Edward　always　made　too　much　food　for　one；　
but　I　was　so　hungry　after　swimming　and　climbing　all　day　that　I　ate　most　of　it。　Then；　full　and　worn　out；　I　
could　barely　keep　my　eyes　open。　All　part　of　the　plan；　no　doubt。　

Exhaustion　didn't　help　much　with　my　attempts　at　persuasion。　But　I　didn't　give　up。　I　tried　reasoning；　
pleading；　and　grouching；　all　to　no　avail。　I　was　usually　unconscious　before　I　could　really　press　my　case　far。　
And　then　my　dreams　felt　so　real—nightmares　mostly；　made　more　vivid；　I　guessed；　by　the　toobright　
colors　of　the　island—that　I　woke　up　tired　no　matter　how　long　I　slept。　

About　a　week　or　so　after　we'd　gotten　to　the　island；　I　decided　to　try　promise。　It　had　worked　for　us　in　
the　past。　

I　was　sleeping　in　the　blue　room　now。　The　cleaning　crew　wasn't　due　until　the　next　day；　and　so　the　white　
room　still　had　a　snowy　blanket　of　down。　The　blue　room　was　smaller；　the　bed　more　reasonably　
proportioned。　The　walls　were　

dark；　paneled　in　teak；　and　the　fittings　were　all　luxurious　blue　silk。　

I'd　taken　to　wearing　some　of　Alice's　lingerie　collection　to　sleep　in　at　night—which　weren't　so　revealing　
pared　to　the　scanty　bikinis　she'd　packed　for　me　when　it　came　right　down　to　it。　I　wondered　if　she'd　
seen　a　vision　of　why　I　would　want　such　things；　and　then　shuddered；　embarrassed　by　that　thought。　

I'd　started　out　slow　with　innocent　ivory　satins；　worried　that　revealing　more　of　my　skin　would　be　the　
opposite　of　helpful；　but　ready　to　try　anything。　Edward　seemed　to　notice　nothing；　as　if　I　were　wearing　the　
same　ratty　old　sweats　I　wore　at　home。　

The　bruises　were　much　better　now—yellowing　in　some　places　and　disappearing　altogether　in　others—so　
tonight　I　pulled　out　one　of　the　scarier　pieces　as　I　got　ready　in　the　paneled　bathroom。　It　was　black；　lacy；　
and　embarrassing　to　look　at　even　when　it　wasn't　on。　I　was　careful　not　to　look　in　the　mirror　before　I　went　
back　to　the　bedroom。　I　didn't　want　to　lose　my　nerve。　

I　had　the　satisfaction　of　watching　his　eyes　pop　open　wide　for　just　a　second　before　he　controlled　his　
expression。　

〃What　do　you　think？〃　I　asked；　pirouetting　so　that　he　could　see　every　angle。　

He　cleared　his　throat。　〃You　look　beautiful。　You　always　do。〃　

〃Thanks；〃　I　said　a　bit　sourly。　

I　was　too　tired　to　resist　climbing　quickly　into　the　soft　bed。　He　put　his　arms　around　me　and　pulled　me　



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against　his　chest；　but　this　was　routine—it　was　too　hot　to　sleep　without　his　cool　body　close。　

〃I'll　make　you　a　deal；〃　I　said　sleepily。　

〃I　will　not　make　any　deals　with　you；〃　he　answered。　

〃You　haven't　even　heard　what　I'm　offering。〃　

〃It　doesn't　matter。〃　

I　sighed。　〃Dang　it。　And　I　really　wanted。。。　Oh　well。〃　

He　rolled　his　eyes。　

I　closed　mine　and　let　the　bait　sit　there。　I　yawned。　

It　took　only　a　minute—not　long　enough　for　me　to　zonk　out。　

〃All　right。　What　is　it　you　want？〃　

I　gritted　my　teeth　for　a　second；　fighting　a　smile。　If　there　was　one　thing　he　couldn't　resist；　it　was　an　
opportunity　to　give　me　something。　

〃Well；　I　was　thinking。。。　I　know　that　the　whole　Dartmouth　thing　was　just　supposed　to　be　a　cover　story；　
but　honestly；　one　semester　of　college　probably　wouldn't　kill　me；〃　I　said；　echoing　his　words　from　long　ago；　
when　he'd　tried　to　persuade　me　to　put　off　being　a　vampire。　〃Charlie　would　get　a　thrill　out　of　
Dartmouth　stories；　I　bet。　Sure；　it　might　be　embarrassing　if　I　can't　keep　up　with　all　the　brainiacs。　Still。。。　
eighteen；　nieen。　It's　really　not　such　a　big　difference。　It's　not　like　I'm　going　to　get　crow's　feet　in　the　next　
year。〃　

He　was　silent　for　a　long　moment。　Then；　in　a　low　voice；　he　said；　〃You　would　wait。　You　would　stay　
human。〃　

I　held　my　tongue；　letting　the　offer　sink　in。　

〃Why　are　you　doing　this　to　me？〃　he　said　through　his　teeth；　his　tone　suddenly　angry。　〃Isn't　it　hard　enough　
without　all　of　this？〃　He　grabbed　a　handful　of　lace　that　was　ruffled　on　my　thigh。　For　a　moment；　I　thought　
he　was　going　to　rip　it　from　the　seam。　Then　his　hand　relaxed。　〃It　doesn't　matter。　I　won't　make　any　deals　
with　you。〃　

〃I　want　to　goto　college。〃　

〃No；　you　don't。　And　there　is　nothing　that　is　worth　risking　your　life　again。　That's　worth　hurting　you。〃　

〃But　I　do　want　to　go。　Well；　it's　not　college　as　much　as　it's　that　I　want—I　want　to　be　human　a　little　while　
longer。〃　

He　closed　his　eyes　and　exhaled　through　his　nose。　〃You　are　making　me　insane；　Bella。　Haven't　we　had　this　
argument　a　million　times；　you　always　begging　to　be　a　vampire　without　delay？〃　

〃Yes；　but。。。　well；　I　have　a　reason　to　be　human　that　I　didn't　have