time enough for love-时间足够你爱(英文版)-第86部分

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　　〃The　Kewpie　doll　I　wOn　myself；　so　I'm　thinking　of　giving　it　a　place　of　honor　on　top　of　the　piano。　The　Teddy　Roosevelt　bear　was　won　by　Sergeant　Theodore；　perhaps　he's　taking
　　
　　it　to　France　with　him。　Electric　Park；　Father；　and　I　don't　think　it　costS　Sergeant　Theodore　more　…than　twice　what　the　prizes　are　worth　for　us　to　win　them；　we　had　a　lucky　night…　and　a　very　gay　one。〃　…
　　
　　Lazarus　could　see　the　old　man　starting　to　cloud　up…in　public　with　a　bachelor？　With　her　husband　away？　So　he　spoke　up：
　　
　　〃I　can't　take　it　to　France；　Mrs。　Smith；　I　made　a　deal　with　Woodie…don't　you　remember？　My　Teddy　bear　for　his　elephant。　I　assume　it's　a　firm　deal；　he　carried　it　from　then　on。〃
　　
　　Mr。　Johnson　said；　〃If　you　didn't　get　it　in　writing；　Ted；　he'll　hornswoggle　you。　Do　I　understand　that　Woodie　went　to　Electric　Park　with　you　two？〃
　　
　　〃Yes；　sir。　Between　ourselves　I　expect　to　leave　the　elephant　in　Woodie's　custody　for　the　duration。　But　I'm　going　to　dicker　with　him　first。〃
　　
　　〃He'll　still　hornswoggle　you。　Maureen；　the　idea　was　to　give　you　relief　from　the　children。　Especially　Woodie。　What　in　Ned　possessed　you　to　take　him　along？〃
　　
　　〃We　didn't　exactly　take　him　along；　Father；　he　was　a　stowaway。〃　She　gave　her　father　an　accurate　account；　save　that　she　left　out　certain　things　and　did　not　include　a　timetable。
　　
　　Mr。　Johnson　shook　his　head　and　looked　pleased。　〃That　boy　will　go　far…if　they　don't　hang　him　first。　Maureen；　you　should　have　…spanked　him　and　fetched　him　home。　Then　you　and　Ted　should　have　gone　on　with　your　ride。〃
　　
　　〃Oh；　fuss；　Father；　I　did　have　my　ride　and　a　very　nice　one；　I　made　Woodrow　sit　in　the　back　seat　and　keep　quiet。　Then　I　had　a　gay　time　at　the　park；　a　bonus　I　would　not　have　had　if　Woodrow　had　not　invited　himself　along。〃
　　
　　〃Woodie　had　some　justice　on　his　side；〃　Lazarus　admitted。　〃I　did　promise　him　an　outing　at　Electric　Park；　then
　　
　　…　never　kept　my　promise。〃
　　
　　〃Should　have　whacked　him。〃
　　
　　〃It's　too　late　for　that；　Father。　And　we　did　have　fun。　We　ran　into　some　people　from　church；　too…Lauretta　and　Clyde　Simpson。〃　…
　　
　　〃That　old　witch！　She'll　gossip　about　you；　Maureen。〃
　　
　　〃I　think　not。　We　chatted　while　Woodie　rode　the　miniature　train。　But　you　might　remember　that　Sergeant　Bronson　is　your　eldest　sister's　son。〃
　　
　　Ira　Johnson　raised　his　eyebrows；　then　Chuckled。　〃Samantha　would　be　surprised…if　she　were　still　with　us。　Ted；　my　eldest　sister　was　thrown　by　a　horse　she　was　trying　to　break
　　
　　？…　at　eighty…five。　She　lingered　awhile；　then　tu？ned　her　face　to　the　wall　and　refused　to　eat。　Very　well；　I'll　remember。　Ted；　this　is　better　than　blaming　my　gay…dog　brother　and　still　harder　to　check　on；/Samantha　lived　in　illinois；　wore　out　three　husbands；　and　one　of　them　could　have　been　named　Bronson　for　all　anyone　here　would　know。　Do　you　mind？　Gives　you　a　family　of　sorts。〃
　　
　　〃I　don't　mind。　Although　I　like　to　think　of　this　family　as　my　family。〃
　　
　　〃And　we　like　to　have　you　think　of　us　that　way；　Son。　Maureen；　is　our　young　lady　home？〃
　　
　　〃Just　before　you　got　home；　Father。　They　are　in　the　kitchen；　on　the　excuse　that　she　wanted　to　make　a　sandwich　for　Jonathan。　Since　I'm　sure　it's　an　excuse　to　stay　out　there　and　spoon；　I　suggest　that；　if　you　want　something　from　the　kitchen；　you　allow　me　to　fetch　it；　I'll　be　noisy　enough　to　let　Nancy　jump　off　his　lap。　Theodore；　Nancy　is　engaged；　we　just　haven't　made　a　formal　announcement。　I　think　it's　best　to　let　them　marry　now；　since　he'll　be　joining　the　Army　almost　at　once。
　　
　　…　What　do　you　think？〃
　　
　　〃I'm　hardly　entitled　to　an　opinion；　Mrs。　Smith。　I　hope　they　will　be　happy。〃
　　
　　〃They　will　be；〃　said　Mr。　Johnson。　〃He's　a　fine　lad。　I　tried　to　sign　him　into　the　Seventh；　but　he　insisted　on　waiting　for　his　birthday　so　he　could　go　straight　into　the　Army。　Even　though　he　couldn't　be　drafted　for　another　three　years。　Spirit。　I　like　him。　Ted；　if　you　need　to　go　to　your　room；　you　can　go　around　this　other　way　and　avoid　the　kitchen。〃
　　
　　A　few　minutes　later　the　young　people　came　out　of　the　kitchen；　thade　polite　sounds　without　sitting　down；　then　Nancy　stepped　out　onto　the　porch　to　say　good…night　to　her　swain；。　came　back　in；　and　sat　down。
　　
　　Mr。　Johnson　smothered　a　yawn。　〃Time　I　hit　the　hay。　You　will　too；　Ted；　if　you're　smart。　Too　noisy　around　here　to　sleep　late；　especially　where　your　room　is。〃
　　
　　Nancy　said　quickly；　〃I'll　keep　the　young　ones　quiet；　Grandpa；　so　Uncle　Ted　can　sleep。〃
　　
　　Lazarus　stood　up。　〃Thank　you；　Nancy；　but　I　didn't　get　much　rest　on　the　train　last　night；　I　think　I'll　go　right　to　bed。　Don't　orning；　I'll　wake　up　at　reveille　time　anyhow。　Habit。〃
　　
　　Mrs。　Smith　stood　up。　〃We'll　all　go　to　bed。〃
　　
　　Mr。　Johnson　shook　hands　as　he　sai。d　good…night~　Mrs。
　　
　　Smith　gave　Lazarus　a　symbolic　peck　on　the　cheek　such　as　she　had　gi'sen　him　on　arrival；　thanked　him　for　a　lovely　evening；　and　urged　him　to　turn　over　and　go　back　to　sleep　if　the　reveille　habit　wakened　him；　Nancy　hung　back　and　kissed　him　good…night　as　her　elders　started　up　the　stairs。
　　
　　Lazarus　went　to　his　room　and　on　into　his　bath。　Maureen　had　told　him　not　to　hesitate　to　draw　a　tub；　it　would　not　wake　the　children。　He　started　one；　went　back　and　opened　his　grip；　got　out　the　little　package；　took　it　into　the　bath　and　threw　the　bolt；　there　being　no　key　in　the　bedroom　door。　It　was　a　small　flat　'box　such　as　garters　might　e　in；　he　opened　it　carefully；　intending　to　rewrap　it　exactly　as　it　had　been。
　　
　　Ah；　the　garters！　Faded；　as　she　…　had　said；　…and　clearly　not　new　。　。　and…Yes！…redolent　with　her　own　evocative　fragrance。　Would　it　last　long　enough　for　him　to　get　it　borne；　have　the　lovely；　delicate　aroma　analyzed；　amplified；　and　fixed？　Probably…and　with　puter　help　a　skilled　scentologist　could　separate　out　the　odors　of　satin　and　rubber；　and　amplify　hers　selectively。　He　would　have　to　go　to　Secundus　for　such　expert　help。　Worth　the　trip　and　then　some！
　　
　　Now　let's　see　those　〃naughty〃　mottoes…　One　read：　〃Open　All　Hours…Ring　Bell　for　Service！〃…the　other：　〃Wele！　e　in　and　Stir　the　Fire。〃　Sweet　darling；　those　aren't　〃naughty。〃　…
　　
　　A　plain　envelope　under　the　garters…　He　laid　them　aside　and　opened　it。
　　
　　A　plain　white　card：　〃Best　I　could　do；　Beloved。　M。〃　…
　　
　　A　photograph；　amateur　work　but　excellent　quality　for　…this
　　
　　…　here…&…now：　Maureen　herself；　outdoors　in　bright　sunlight　against　a　background　of　thick　bushes。　She　was　standing　~racefully；　smiling　and　looking　at　the　camera…dressed　only　in　her　〃French　postcard〃　style。　Lazarus　felt　a　burst　of　passion。　Why；　you　generous；　trusting　darling！　Not　your　only　copy？　No；　Brian　would　have　made　more　than　one　print…　undoubtedly　had　one　with　him。　This　pri？t　would　have　been　locked　somewhere　in　your　bedroom。　Yes；　your　waist　is　slender　without　a　corset　…　。　and　those　are　not　broken　down；　they　jsre　lovely…and　I'm　certain　what　caused　your　happy　smile。　Thank　you；…　thank　you！
　　
　　With　the　photograph　was　a　little　flat　package　in　tissue　paper。　He　opened　it　gently。　A　thick　lock　of　red　hair；　tied　with　a　green　ribbon。　The　lock　curled　in　a　tight　circle。
　　
　　Lazarus　stared　at　it。　Maureen　my　beloved；　this　is　the　most
　　
　　precious　gilt　of　all…but　I　do　hope　you　cut　it　so　carefully　that　Brian　won't　notice　it's　missing。
　　
　　He　looked　at　each　of　her　gifts　again；　restored　them　just　as　they　had　been；　put　the　box　into　the　bottom　of　his　grip；　locked　it；　turned　off　the　tub；　undressed；　and　got　into　the　water。　…
　　
　　Rut　a　lukewarm　tub　did　not　make　him　sleep。　For　a　long　time　he　lay　in　darkness　and　relived　the　past　few　hours。
　　
　　He　now　felt　that　he　understood　Maureen。　She　was　relaxed　with　what　she　was…〃liked　herself〃　as　Lazarus　thought　of　it…　and　liking　yourself　was　the　necessary　first　step　toward　loving　other　people。　She　had　no　guilt　feelings　because　she　never　did　anything　that　could　make　her　feel　guilty。　She　was　unblinkingly　honest　with　herself；　was　her　own　self…judge　instead　of　looking　to　others；　did　not　lie　to　herself…but　lied　to　others　without　hesitation　when　needed　for　kindness　or　to　get　along　with　rules　~he　had　not　made　and　did　not　respect。
　　
　　Lazarus　understood　that；　he　lived　the　same　way…and　now　knew　where　he　got　the　trait。　From　Maureen　。　。　and　through　her；　from　Oramp。　And　from　Pop；　too…reinforced。　He　felt　very　happy；　despite　an　unsatisfied　ache　in　Jiis　loins。　Or　in　part　because　of　it；　he　corrected；　he　found　that　he　cherished　that　ache。
　　
　　When　the　doorknob　turned；　he　was　instantly　alert；　out　of　bed
　　
　　…and　waiting　before　the　door　opened。
　　
　　She　was　in　his　arms；　warm　and　fragrant。
　　
　　She　pulled　back　to　shrug　off　her　wrap；　let　it　fall；　came　back　into　his　arms；　body　to　body；　and　gave　her　mouth　fully。
　　
　　When　they　broke　the　kiss；　she　stayed　in　his　arms；　clinging。　He　Whispeftd　huskily；　〃Why　did　you　risk　it？〃
　　
　　She　answered　softly；　〃I　found　that　I　must。　Once　I　knew　that；　I　realjzed　that　it　was　even　less　risk　than　our　walnut　tree。　The　children　never　e　downstairs　at　night　when　we　have　a　guest。　Father　may　suspect　me　。　。　but　that　makes　it　certain　tha~t　he　won't　check　on　me。　Don't　worry；　darling。　Take　me　to　bed。　Nowf'
　　
　　He　did　so。
　　
　　When　they　were　quiet；　she　sighed　happily　and　said；　lips　against　his　ear；　arms　and　legs　around　him：　〃Theodore；　even
　　
　　in　this　you　are　so　much　like　my　husband　that　I　can　barely　wait　till　the　war　is　over　to　tell　him　all　about　you。〃
　　
　　〃You've　decided　to　tell　him？〃
　　
　　〃Beloved　Theodore；　there　was　never　a　doubt　that　I　would。　I　softened　some　of　what　I　told　you　tonight　and　left　out　a　little。　Brian　does　not　require　me　to　confess。　But　it　does　not　upset　him；　we　settled　that　fifteen　years　ago。　He　convinced　me　that　he　really　does　trust　my　judgment　and　my　taste。〃　Very　softly　but　merrily　she　giggled　against　his　ear。　〃It's　a　shame　that　…I　so　seldom　have　anything　to　confess；　he　enjoys　hå　my　adventures。　He　has　me　tell　him　about　them　over　and　over…like　rereading　a　favorite　book。　I　wish　I　could　tell　him　this　one　tomorrow　night。　But　I　won't；　I'll　save　it。〃
　　
　　〃He's　ing　home　tomorrow？〃
　　
　　〃Late。　Quite　late。　Which　is　just　as　well；　as　I　don't　expect　to　get　any　sleep　once　he　arrives。〃　She　chuckled　softly。　〃He　told　me　on　the　telephone　to　'b。　1。　b。　a。　w。　y。　1。　o。'　and　he　would　'w。　y。　t。　b。　w。'　That　means：　Be　in　bed　asleep　with　my　legs　open　and…he　will　wake　me　the　best　way。　But　I　just　pretend　to　be　asleep　as　I　wake　up　no　matter　how　quietly　he　tiptoes　in。'；
　　
　　She　gave　a　tiny　giggle。　〃Then　we　have　a　happy　little　game。　As　he　enters　me；　I　pretend　to　wake　up　and　call　him　by　name…but　never　his　name。　I　moan；　'Oh；　Albert；　darling；　I　thought　you　would　never　e！'　or　some　such。　Then　it's　his　turn。　He　says　something　like；　'This　is　Buffalo　Bill；　Mrs。　O'Malley。　Hush　up　and　get　busy！'　Then　I　hush　up　and　do　the　best　I　know　how；　not　another　word　until　we　both　ex…　plode。〃　…
　　
　　〃Your　best　is　superb；　Mrs。　O'MaIley。　Or　was　？hat　your　best？〃
　　
　　〃I　tried　to　make　it　my　best…Buffalo　Bill。　But　I　was　so　dreadfully　excited　that　I　got　all　blurry　so　it　probably　was　not。　I'd　like　a　chance　to　do　better。　Are　you　going　to　give　me　one？〃　…
　　
　　〃Only　if　you　promise　not　to　do　better。　Darling；　if　that　was　not　your　best；　then　your　best　would　kill　me。〃
　　
　　〃You　not　only　talk　like；　my　husband　and　feel　like　him…　especially　here…but　you　even　smell　like　him。〃
　　
　　〃You　smell　like　Tamara。〃
　　
　　〃Do　I　really？　Do　I　make　love　like　her？〃
　　
　　（Tamara　knows　a　thousand　ways；　darling；　but　rarely　…　uses　anything　unusual…lovemaking　is　not　technique；　dear；　it's　an　attitude。　Wanting　to　make　someone　happy；　which　you　do。
　　
　　But　you　startled　me　with　your　mand　of　technique；　you　would　fetch　a　high　price　on　Iskander。）
　　
　　〃You　do。　But　that's　not　what　makes　you　so　much　…like　her。　Uh；　it's　your　attitude。　Tamara　knows　what　is　going　on　in　another　person's　mind　and　gives　him　exactly　what　he　needs。　Wants　to　give　it。〃
　　
　　〃She's　a　mindreader？　Then　Fm　not　like　her；　after　all。〃
　　
　　〃No；　she's　not　a　mindreader。　But　she　feels　a　person's　emotions　and　knows　what　he　needs　and　gives　him　that。　It　might　not　be　sex。　Aren't　there　times　when　Brian　needs　something　else？〃　。　…
　　
　　〃Oh；　certainly。　If　he's　tired　and　tense；　I　hold　off　and　rub　his　back　or　head。　Or　cuddle　with　him。　Maybe　encourage　him　to　nap；　and　then　perhaps　he　really　will　wake　me　'the　best　way。'　I　don't　try　to　eat　him　alive。　Unless　that's　what　he　wants。〃
　　
　　〃Tamara　all　over　again。　Maureen；　when　Tamara　was　healing　me；　at　first　she　didn't　even　share　a　bed　with　me。　Just　slept　in　the　same　room　and　ate　with　me　and　listened　if　I　felt　like　talking。　Then　for　ten　days　or　so　she　did　sleep　with　me；　but　we　just　slept　…　。　and　I　slept　soundly　and　had　no　nightmares。　Then　one　night　I　woke　up；　and　without　a　word　Tamara　took　me　into　her；　and　we　made　love　the　rest　of　that　night。　And　next　morning　I　knew　I　was　well…soul…sickness　all　gone。
　　
　　〃You　are　that　way；　Maureen。　You　know；　and　you　do。　I've　been　very　homesick　and　much　troubled　by　this　war。　Now　I'm　not；　you've　cured　it。　Tell　me；　what　did　you　feel　from　me　the　first　night　I　was　in　this　house？〃
　　
　　〃Loved　you　at　first　sight；　like　a　silly　schoolgirl。　Wanted　to　take　you　to　bed。　I　told　you　so。〃　…
　　
　　〃Not　how　you　felt…how　did　I　feel？〃
　　
　　〃Oh。　You　had　an　erection　over　me。〃
　　
　　〃Yes；　I　did。　But　I　thought　I　had　concealed　it。　You　noticed？〃
　　
　　〃Oh；　I　didn't　see　a　bulge　in　your　trousers　or　anything　like　that。　Theodore；　I　never　look　down　that　far；　men　bee　embarrassed　so　easily。　I　simply　knew　you　felt　as　I　did…and　I　felt　like　a　she　dog　in　heat。　Bitch　in　heat；　I　mean…I　don't　intend　to…　be　prim　in　bed。　The　instant　you　met　my　eyes…　standing；　out　in　the　front　hall…I　knew　we　needed　each　other　and　I　grew　terribly　excited　。　。　and　rushed　out　into　the　kitchen　tO　get　myself　under　~control。〃
　　
　　〃You　…　didn't　rush；　you　moved　with　smooth　grace；　like　a　ship　under　sail。〃　…
　　
　　〃That　ship　was　sailing　fast；　I　was　rushing。　I　got　myself　under　con~trol　but　not　less　excited。　More。　My　breasts　ached　and　my　nipples　hurt；　all　the　time　you　were　here。　But　that　doesn't　show。　It　would　not　have　mattered　had　Father　noticed　my　excitement　except　that　he　would　not　have　invited　you　back…and　I　wanted　you　to　e　back。　Father　knows　what　I　am；　he　told　me　so　when　he　was　helping　me。　He　told
　　
　　…　me　to　face　up　to　what　I　am　and　be　happy　with　it…but　that　I　must　learn　never　to　let　my　ruttiness　show；　things　being　the　way　they　are。　I've　tried…but　that　night　it　was　very　hard　not　to　show　it。〃
　　
　　〃You　succeeded。〃…
　　
　　〃Brian　tells　me　that　I　don't　show　it。　But　that　night　was　so　difficult。　I…　Theodore；　there　is　something　boys　do…and　sometimes　men…when　they're　terribly　frustrated。　With　their　hands。〃
　　
　　〃Certainly。　Masturbation。　Boys　call　it　'jacking　off。'〃
　　
　　〃So　Brian　says。　But　perhaps　you　don't　know　that…　girls…　and　women…can　do　something　like　it？〃
　　
　　〃I　do　know。　For　a　lonely　person　of　either　sex；　it's　a　harmless　but　inadequate　substitute。〃
　　
　　〃'Harmless　but　inadequate…'　Quite　inadequate。　But　I'm　glad　you　think　it's　harmless。　Because　I　went　upstairs　and　took　a　bath…I　needed　one　although　I　had　bathed　before？supper。　And　did　it