the hunger games-饥饿游戏(英文版)-第13部分

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nto　cheers。　When　I　stop；　I　clutch　Caesarˇs　arm。
¨Donˇt　stop！〃　he　says。
¨I　have　to；　Iˇm　dizzy！〃　Iˇm　also　giggling；　which　I　think　Iˇve　done　maybe　never　in　my　lifetime。　But　the　nerves　and　the　spinning　have　gotten　to　me。
Caesar　wraps　a　protective　arm　around　me。　¨Donˇt　worry；　Iˇve　got　you。　Canˇt　have　you　following　in　your　mentorˇs　footsteps。〃
Everyoneˇs　hooting　as　the　cameras　find　Haymitch；　who　is　by　now　famous　for　his　head　dive　at　the　reaping；　and　he　waves　them　away　good…naturedly　and　points　back　to　me。
¨Itˇs　all　right；〃　Caesar　reassures　the　crowd。　¨Sheˇs　safe　with　me。　So；　how　about　that　training　score。　E…le…ven。　Give　us　a　hint　what　happened　in　there。〃
I　glance　at　the　Gamemakers　on　the　balcony　and　bite　my　lip。　¨Um　。　。　。　all　I　can　say；　is　I　think　it　was　a　first。〃
The　cameras　are　right　on　the　Gamemakers；　who　are　chuckling　and　nodding。
¨Youˇre　killing　us；〃　says　Caesar　as　if　in　actual　pain。　¨Details。　Details。〃
I　address　the　balcony。　¨Iˇm　not　supposed　to　talk　about　it；　right？〃
The　Gamemaker　who　fell　in　the　punch　bowl　shouts　out；　¨Sheˇs　not！〃
¨Thank　you；〃　I　say。　¨Sorry。　My　lips　are　sealed。〃
¨Letˇs　go　back　then；　to　the　moment　they　called　your　sisterˇs　name　at　the　reaping；〃　says　Caesar。　His　mood　is　quieter　now。　¨And　you　volunteered。　Can　you　tell　us　about　her？〃
No。　No；　not　all　of　you。　But　maybe　Cinna。　I　donˇt　think　Iˇm　imagining　the　sadness　on　his　face。　¨Her　nameˇs　Prim。　Sheˇs　just　twelve。　And　I　love　her　more　than　anything。〃
You　could　hear　a　pin　drop　in　the　City　Circle　now。
¨What　did　she　say　to　you？　After　the　reaping？〃　Caesar　asks。　Be　honest。　Be　honest。　I　swallow　hard。　¨She　asked　me　to　try　really　hard　to　win。〃　The　audience　is　frozen；　hanging　on　my　every　word。
¨And　what　did　you　say？〃　prompts　Caesar　gently。
But　instead　of　warmth；　I　feel　an　icy　rigidity　take　over　my　body。　My　muscles　tense　as　they　do　before　a　kill。　When　I　speak；　my　voice　seems　to　have　dropped　an　octave。　¨I　swore　I　would。〃
¨I　bet　you　did；〃　says　Caesar；　giving　me　a　squeeze。　The　buzzer　goes　off。　¨Sorry　weˇre　out　of　time。　Best　of　luck；　Katniss　Everdeen；　tribute　from　District　Twelve。〃
The　applause　continues　long　after　Iˇm　seated。　I　look　to　Cinna　for　reassurance。　He　gives　me　a　subtle　thumbs…up。
Iˇm　still　in　a　daze　for　the　first　part　of　Peetaˇs　interview。　He　has　the　audience　from　the　get…go；　though；　I　can　hear　them　laughing；　shouting　out。　He　plays　up　the　bakerˇs　son　thing；　paring　the　tributes　to　the　breads　from　their　districts。　Then　has　a　funny　anecdote　about　the　perils　of　the　Capitol　showers。　¨Tell　me；　do　I　still　smell　like　roses？〃　he　asks　Caesar；　and　then　thereˇs　a　whole　run　where　they　take　turns　sniffing　each　other　that　brings　down　the　house。　Iˇm　ing　back　into　focus　when　Caesar　asks　him　if　he　has　a　girlfriend　back　home。
Peeta　hesitates；　then　gives　an　unconvincing　shake　of　his　head。
¨Handsome　lad　like　you。　There　must　be　some　special　girl。　e　on；　whatˇs　her　name？〃　says　Caesar。
Peeta　sighs。　¨Well；　there　is　this　one　girl。　Iˇve　had　a　crush　on　her　ever　since　I　can　remember。　But　Iˇm　pretty　sure　she　didnˇt　know　I　was　alive　until　the　reaping。〃
Sounds　of　sympathy　from　the　crowd。　Unrequited　love　they　can　relate　to。
¨She　have　another　fellow？〃　asks　Caesar。
¨I　donˇt　know；　but　a　lot　of　boys　like　her；〃　says　Peeta。
¨So；　hereˇs　what　you　do。　You　win；　you　go　home。　She　canˇt　turn　you　down　then；　eh？〃　says　Caesar　encouragingly。
¨I　donˇt　think　itˇs　going　to　work　out。　Winning　。　。　。　wonˇt　help　in　my　case；〃　says　Peeta。
¨Why　ever　not？〃　says　Caesar；　mystified。
Peeta　blushes　beet　red　and　stammers　out。　¨Because　。　。　。　because　。　。　。　she　came　here　with　me。〃
PART　II
〃THE　GAMES〃
10
For　a　moment；　the　cameras　hold　on　Peetaˇs　downcast　eyes　as　what　he　says　sinks　in。　Then　I　can　see　my　face；　mouth　half　open　in　a　mix　of　surprise　and　protest；　magnified　on　every　screen　as　I　realize；　Me！　He　means　me！　I　press　my　lips　together　and　stare　at　the　floor；　hoping　this　will　conceal　the　emotions　starting　to　boil　up　inside　of　me。
¨Oh；　that　is　a　piece　of　bad　luck；〃　says　Caesar；　and　thereˇs　a　real　edge　of　pain　in　his　voice。　The　crowd　is　murmuring　in　agreement；　a　few　have　even　given　agonized　cries。
¨Itˇs　not　good；〃　agrees　Peeta。
¨Well；　I　donˇt　think　any　of　us　can　blame　you。　Itˇd　be　hard　not　to　fall　for　that　young　lady；〃　says　Caesar。　¨She　didnˇt　know？〃
Peeta　shakes　his　head。　¨Not　until　now。〃
I　allow　my　eyes　to　flicker　up　to　the　screen　long　enough　to　see　that　the　blush　on　my　cheeks　is　unmistakable。
¨Wouldnˇt　you　love　to　pull　her　back　out　here　and　get　a　response？〃　Caesar　asks　the　audience。　The　crowd　screams　assent。　¨Sadly；　rules　are　rules；　and　Katniss　Everdeenˇs　time　has　been　spent。　Well；　best　of　luck　to　you；　Peeta　Mellark；　and　I　think　I　speak　for　all　of　Panem　when　I　say　our　hearts　go　with　yours。〃
The　roar　of　the　crowd　is　deafening。　Peeta　has　absolutely　wiped　the　rest　of　us　off　the　map　with　his　declaration　of　love　for　me。　When　the　audience　finally　settles　down；　he　chokes　out　a　quiet　¨Thank　you〃　and　returns　to　his　seat。　We　stand　for　the　anthem。　I　have　to　raise　my　head　out　of　the　required　respect　and　cannot　avoid　seeing　that　every　screen　is　now　dominated　by　a　shot　of　Peeta　and　me；　separated　by　a　few　feet　that　in　the　viewersˇ　heads　can　never　be　breached。　Poor　tragic　us。
But　I　know　better。
After　the　anthem；　the　tributes　file　back　into　the　Training　Center　lobby　and　onto　the　elevators。　I　make　sure　to　veer　into　a　car　that　does　not　contain　Peeta。　The　crowd　slows　our　entourages　of　stylists　and　mentors　and　chaperones；　so　we　have　only　each　other　for　pany。　No　one　speaks。　My　elevator　stops　to　deposit　four　tributes　before　I　am　alone　and　then　find　the　doors　opening　on　the　twelfth　floor。　Peeta　has　only　just　stepped　from　his　car　when　I　slam　my　palms　into　his　chest。　He　loses　his　balance　and　crashes　into　an　ugly　urn　filled　with　fake　flowers。　The　urn　tips　and　shatters　into　hundreds　of　tiny　pieces。　Peeta　lands　in　the　shards；　and　blood　immediately　flows　from　his　hands。
¨What　was　that　for？〃　he　says；　aghast。
¨You　had　no　right！　No　right　to　go　saying　those　things　about　me！〃　I　shout　at　him。
Now　the　elevators　open　and　the　whole　crew　is　there；　Effie；　Haymitch；　Cinna；　and　Portia。
¨Whatˇs　going　on？〃　says　Effie；　a　note　of　hysteria　in　her　voice。　¨Did　you　fall？〃
¨After　she　shoved　me；〃　says　Peeta　as　Effie　and　Cinna　help　him　up。
Haymitch　turns　on　me。　¨Shoved　him？〃
¨This　was　your　idea；　wasnˇt　it？　Turning　me　into　some　kind　of　fool　in　front　of　the　entire　country？〃　I　answer。
¨It　was　my　idea；〃　says　Peeta；　wincing　as　he　pulls　spikes　of　pottery　from　his　palms。　¨Haymitch　just　helped　me　with　it。〃
¨Yes；　Haymitch　is　very　helpful。　To　you！〃　I　say。
¨You　are　a　fool；〃　Haymitch　says　in　disgust。　¨Do　you　think　he　hurt　you？　That　boy　just　gave　you　something　you　could　never　achieve　on　your　own。〃
¨He　made　me　look　weak！〃　I　say。
¨He　made　you　look　desirable！　And　letˇs　face　it；　you　can　use　all　the　help　you　can　get　in　that　department。　You　were　about　as　romantic　as　dirt　until　he　said　he　wanted　you。　Now　they　all　do。　Youˇre　all　theyˇre　talking　about。　The　star…crossed　lovers　from　District　Twelve！〃　says　Haymitch。
¨But　weˇre　not　star…crossed　lovers！〃　I　say。
Haymitch　grabs　my　shoulders　and　pins　me　against　the　wall。　¨Who　cares？　Itˇs　all　a　big　show。　Itˇs　all　how　youˇre　perceived。　The　most　I　could　say　about　you　after　your　interview　was　that　you　were　nice　enough；　although　that　in　itself　was　a　small　miracle。　Now　I　can　say　youˇre　a　heartbreaker。　Oh；　oh；　oh；　how　the　boys　back　home　fall　longingly　at　your　feet。　Which　do　you　think　will　get　you　more　sponsors？〃
The　smell　of　wine　on　his　breath　makes　me　sick。　I　shove　his　hands　off　my　shoulders　and　step　away；　trying　to　clear　my　head。
Cinna　es　over　and　puts　his　arm　around　me。　¨Heˇs　right；　Katniss。〃
I　donˇt　know　what　to　think。　¨I　should　have　been　told；　so　I　didnˇt　look　so　stupid。〃
¨No；　your　reaction　was　perfect。　If　youˇd　known；　it　wouldnˇt　have　read　as　real；〃　says　Portia。
¨Sheˇs　just　worried　about　her　boyfriend；〃　says　Peeta　gruffly；　tossing　away　a　bloody　piece　of　the　urn。
My　cheeks　burn　again　at　the　thought　of　Gale。　¨I　donˇt　have　a　boyfriend。〃
¨Whatever；〃　says　Peeta。　¨But　I　bet　heˇs　smart　enough　to　know　a　bluff　when　he　sees　it。　Besides　you　didnˇt　say　you　loved　me。　So　what　does　it　matter？〃
The　words　are　sinking　in。　My　anger　fading。　Iˇm　torn　now　between　thinking　Iˇve　been　used　and　thinking　Iˇve　been　given　an　edge。　Haymitch　is　right。　I　survived　my　interview；　but　what　was　I　really？　A　silly　girl　spinning　in　a　sparkling；　dress。　Giggling。　The　only　moment　of　any　substance　I　hail　was　when　I　talked　about　Prim。　pare　that　with　Thresh；　his　silent；　deadly　power；　and　Iˇm　forgettable。　Silly　and　sparkly　and　forgettable。　No；　not　entirely　forgettable；　I　have　my　eleven　in　training。
But　now　Peeta　has　made　me　an　object　of　love。　Not　just　his。　To　hear　him　tell　it　I　have　many　admirers。　And　if　the　audience　really　thinks　weˇre　in　love　。　。　。　I　remember　how　strongly　they　responded　to　his　confession。　Star…crossed　lovers。　Haymitch　is　right；　they　eat　that　stuff　up　in　the　Capitol。　Suddenly　Iˇm　worried　that　I　didnˇt　react　properly。
¨After　he　said　he　loved　me；　did　you　think　I　could　be　in　love　with　him；　too？〃　I　ask。
¨I　did；〃　says　Portia。　¨The　way　you　avoided　looking　at　the　cameras；　the　blush。〃
They　others　chime　in；　agreeing。
¨Youˇre　golden；　sweetheart。　Youˇre　going　to　have　sponsors　lined　up　around　the　block；〃　says　Haymitch。
Iˇm　embarrassed　about　my　reaction。　I　force　myself　to　acknowledge　Peeta。　¨Iˇm　sorry　I　shoved　you。〃
¨Doesnˇt　matter；〃　he　shrugs。　¨Although　itˇs　technically　illegal。〃
¨Are　your　hands　okay？〃　I　ask。　¨Theyˇll　be　all　right；〃　he　says。
In　the　silence　that　follows；　delicious　smells　of　our　dinner　waft　in　from　the　dining　room。　¨e　on；　letˇs　eat；〃　says　Haymitch。　We　all　follow　him　to　the　table　and　take　our　places。　But　then　Peeta　is　bleeding　too　heavily；　and　Portia　leads　him　off　for　medical　treatment。　We　start　the　cream　and　rose…petal　soup　without　them。　By　the　time　weˇve　finished；　theyˇre　back。　Peetaˇs　hands　are　wrapped　in　bandages。　I　canˇt　help　feeling　guilty。　Tomorrow　we　will　be　in　the　arena。　He　has　done　me　a　favor　and　I　have　answered　with　an　injury。　Will　I　never　stop　owing　him？
After　dinner；　we　watch　the　replay　in　the　sitting　room。　I　seem　frilly　and　shallow；　twirling　and　giggling　in　my　dress；　although　the　others　assure　me　I　am　charming。　Peeta　actually　is　charming　and　then　utterly　winning　as　the　boy　in　love。　And　there　I　am；　blushing　and　confused；　made　beautiful　by　Cinnaˇs　hands；　desirable　by　Peetaˇs　confession；　tragic　by　circumstance；　and　by　all　accounts；　unforgettable。
When　the　anthem　finishes　and　the　screen　goes　dark；　a　hush　falls　on　the　room。　Tomorrow　at　dawn；　we　will　be　roused　and　prepared　for　the　arena。　The　actual　Games　donˇt　start　until　ten　because　so　many　of　the　Capitol　residents　rise　late。　But　Peeta　and　I　must　make　an　early　start。　There　is　no　telling　how　far　we　will　travel　to　the　arena　that　has　been　prepared　for　this　yearˇs　Games。
I　know　Haymitch　and　Effie　will　not　be　going　with　us。　As　soon　as　they　leave　here；　theyˇll　be　at　the　Games　Headquarters；　hopefully　madly　signing　up　our　sponsors；　working　out　a　strategy　on　how　and　when　to　deliver　the　gifts　to　us。　Cinna　and　Portia　will　travel　with　us　to　the　very　spot　from　which　we　will　be　launched　into　the　arena。　Still　final　good…byes　must　be　said　here。
Effie　takes　both　of　us　by　the　hand　and；　with　actual　tears　in　her　eyes；　wishes　us　well。　Thanks　us　for　being　the　best　tributes　it　has　ever　been　her　privilege　to　sponsor。　And　then；　because　itˇs　Effie　and　sheˇs　apparently　required　by　law　to　say　something　awful；　she　adds　¨I　wouldnˇt　be　at　all　surprised　if　I　finally　get　promoted　to　a　decent　district　next　year！〃
Then　she　kisses　us　each　on　the　cheek　and　hurries　out；　overe　with　either　the　emotional　parting　or　the　possible　improvement　of　her　fortunes。
Haymitch　crosses　his　arms　and　looks　us　both　over。
¨Any　final　words　of　advice？〃　asks　Peeta。
¨When　the　gong　sounds；　get　the　hell　out　of　there。　Youˇre　neither　of　you　up　to　the　blood　bath　at　the　Cornucopia。　Just　clear　out；　put　as　much　distance　as　you　can　between　yourselves　and　the　others；　and　find　a　source　of　water；〃　he　says。　¨Got　it？〃
¨And　after　that？〃　I　ask。
¨Stay　alive；〃　says　Haymitch。　Itˇs　the　same　advice　he　gave　us　on　the　train；　but　heˇs　not　drunk　and　laughing　this　time。　And　we　only　nod。　What　else　is　there　to　say？
When　I　head　to　my　room；　Peeta　lingers　to　talk　to　Portia。　Iˇm　glad。　Whatever　strange　words　of　parting　we　exchange　can　wait　until　tomorrow。　My　covers　are　drawn　back；　but　there　is　no　sign　of　the　redheaded　Avox　girl。　I　wish　I　knew　her　name。　I　should　have　asked　it。　She　could　write　it　down　maybe。　Or　act　it　out。　But　perhaps　that　would　only　result　in　punishment　for　her。
I　take　a　shower　and　scrub　the　gold　paint；　the　makeup；　the　scent　of　beauty　from　my　body。　All　that　remains　of　the　designteamˇs　efforts　are　the　flames　on　my　nails。　I　decide　to　keep　them　as　reminder　of　who　I　am　to　the　audience。　Katniss；　the　girl　who　was　on　fire。　Perhaps　it　will　give　me　something　to　hold　on　to　in　the　days　to　e。
I　pull　on　a　thick；　fleecy　nightgown　and　climb　into　bed。　It　takes　me　about　five　seconds　to　realize　Iˇll　never　fall　asleep。　And　I　need　sleep　desperately　because　in　the　arena　every　moment　I　give　in　to　fatigue　will　be　an　invitation　to　death。
Itˇs　no　good。　One　hour；　two；　three　pass；　and　my　eyelids　refuse　to　get　heavy。　I　canˇt　stop　trying　to　imagine　exactly　what　terrain　Iˇll　be　thrown　into。　Desert？　Swamp？　A　frigid　wasteland？　Above　all　I　am　hoping　for　trees；　which　may　afford　me　some　means　of　concealment　and　food　and　shelter；　Often　there　are　trees　because　barren　landscapes　are　dull　and　the　Games　resolve　too　quickly　without　them。　But　what　will　the　climate　be　like？　What　traps　have　the　Gamemakers　hid　den　to　liven　up　the　slower　moments？　And　then　there　are　my　fellow　tributes　。　。　。
The　more　anxious　I　am　to　find　sleep；　the　more　it　eludes　me。　Finally；　I　am　too　restless　to　even　stay　in　bed。　I　pace　the　floor；　heart　beating　too　fast；　breathing　too　short。　My　room　feels　like　a　prison　cell。　If　I　donˇt　get　air　soon；　Iˇm　going　to　start　to　throw　things　again。　I　run　down　the　hall　to　the　door　to　the　roof。　Itˇs　not　only　unlocked　but　ajar。　Perhaps　someone　forgot　to　close　it；　but　it　doesnˇt　matter。　The　energy　field　enclosing　the　roof　prevents　any　desperate　form　of　escape。　And　Iˇm　not　looking　to　escape；　only　to　fill　my　lungs　with　air。　I　want　to　see　the　sky　and　the　moon　on　the　last　night　that　no　one　will　be　hunting　me。
The　roof　is　not　lit　at　night；　but　as　soon　as　my　bare　feel　reach　its　tiled　surface　I　see　his　silhouette；　black　against　the　lights　that　shine　endlessly　in　the　Capitol。　Thereˇs　quite　a　motion　going　on　down　in　the　streets；　music　and　singing　and　car　horns；　none　of　which　I　could　hear　through　the　thick　glass　window　panels　in　my　room。　I　could　slip　away　now；　without　him　noticing　me；　he　wouldnˇt　hear　me　over　the　din；　But　the　night　airˇs　so　sweet；　I　canˇt　bear　returning　to　that　stuffy　cage　of　a　room。　And　what　difference　does　it　make？　Whether　we　speak　or　not？
My　feet　move　soundlessly　across　the　tiles。　Iˇm　only　yard　behind　him　when　I　say；　¨You　should　be　getting　some　sleep。〃
He　starts　but　doesnˇt　turn。　I　can　see　him　give　his　head　a　slight　shake。　¨I　didnˇt　want　to　miss　the　party。　Itˇs　for　us；　after　all。〃
I　e　up　beside　him　and　lean　over　the　edge　o