little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第29部分

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Flintwinch　fell　that　evening　into　a　haunted　state　of　mind；　from　which
it　may　be　long　before　this　present　narrative　descries　any　trace　of　her
recovery。　In　the　vagueness　and　indistinctness　of　all　her　new　experiences
and　perceptions；　as　everything　about　her　was　mysterious　to　herself　she
began　to　be　mysterious　to　others：　and　became　as　difficult　to　be　made　out
to　anybody's　satisfaction　as　she　found　the　house　and　everything　in　it
difficult　to　make　out　to　her　own。

She　had　not　yet　finished　preparing　Mrs　Clennam's　tea；　when　the　soft
knock　came　to　the　door　which　always　announced　Little　Dorrit。　Mistress
Affery　looked　on　at　Little　Dorrit　taking　off　her　homely　bon　in　the
hall；　and　at　Mr　Flintwinch　scraping　his　jaws　and　contemplating　her　in
silence；　as　expecting　some　wonderful　consequence　to　ensue　which　would
frighten　her　out　of　her　five　wits　or　blow　them　all　three　to　pieces。

After　tea　there　came　another　knock　at　the　door；　announcing　Arthur。
Mistress　Affery　went　down　to　let　him　in；　and　he　said　on　entering；
'Affery；　I　am　glad　it's　you。　I　want　to　ask　you　a　question。'　Affery
immediately　replied；　'For　goodness　sake　don't　ask　me　nothing；　Arthur！　I
am　frightened　out　of　one　half　of　my　life；　and　dreamed　out　of　the
other。　Don't　ask　me　nothing！　I　don't　know　which　is　which；　or　what　is
what！'……and　immediately　started　away　from　him；　and　came　near　him　no
more。

Mistress　Affery　having　no　taste　for　reading；　and　no　sufficient　light　for
needlework　in　the　subdued　room；　supposing　her　to　have　the　inclination；
now　sat　every　night　in　the　dimness　from　which　she　had　momentarily
emerged　on　the　evening　of　Arthur　Clennam's　return；　occupied　with　crowds
of　wild　speculations　and　suspicions　respecting　her　mistress　and　her
husband　and　the　noises　in　the　house。　When　the　ferocious　devotional
exercises　were　engaged　in；　these　speculations　would　distract　Mistress
Affery's　eyes　towards　the　door；　as　if　she　expected　some　dark　form　to
appear　at　those　propitious　moments；　and　make　the　party　one　too　many。

Otherwise；　Affery　never　said　or　did　anything　to　attract　the　attention　of
the　two　clever　ones　towards　her　in　any　marked　degree；　except　on　certain
occasions；　generally　at　about　the　quiet　hour　towards　bed…time；　when　she
would　suddenly　dart　out　of　her　dim　corner；　and　whisper　with　a　face　of
terror　to　Mr　Flintwinch；　reading　the　paper　near　Mrs　Clennam's　little
table：　'There；　jeremiah！　Now！　What's　that　noise？'

Then　the　noise；　if　there　were　any；　would　have　ceased；　and　Mr　Flintwinch
would　snarl；　turning　upon　her　as　if　she　had　cut　him　down　that　moment
against　his　will；　'Affery；　old　woman；　you　shall　have　a　dose；　old　woman；
such　a　dose！　You　have　been　dreaming　again！'




CHAPTER　16。　Nobody's　Weakness


The　time　being　e　for　the　reneeagles
family；　Clennam；　pursuant　to　contract　made　between　himself　and　Mr
Meagles　within　the　precincts　of　Bleeding　Heart　Yard；　turned　his　face
on　a　certain　Saturday　towards　Twickenham；　where　Mr　Meagles　had　a
cottage…residence　of　his　own。　The　weather　being　fine　and　dry；　and　any
English　road　abounding　in　interest　for　him　who　had　been　so　long　away；
he　sent　his　valise　on　by　the　coach；　and　set　out　to　walk。　A　walk　was　in
itself　a　new　enjoyment　to　him；　and　one　that　had　rarely　diversified　his
life　afar　off。

He　went　by　Fulham　and　Putney；　for　the　pleasure　of　strolling　over　the
heath。　It　was　bright　and　shining　there；　and　when　he　found　himself　so　far
on　his　road　to　Twickenham；　he　found　himself　a　long　way　on　his　road　to
a　number　of　airier　and　less　substantial　destinations。　They　had　risen
before　him　fast；　in　the　healthful　exercise　and　the　pleasant　road。　It　is
not　easy　to　walk　alone　in　the　country　without　musing　upon　something。　And
he　had　plenty　of　unsettled　subjects　to　meditate　upon；　though　he　had　been
walking　to　the　Land's　End。

First；　there　was　the　subject　seldom　absent　from　his　mind；　the　question；
what　he　was　to　do　henceforth　in　life；　to　what　occupation　he　should
devote　himself；　and　in　what　direction　he　had　best　seek　it。　He　was　far
from　rich；　and　every　day　of　indecision　and　inaction　made　his　inheritance
a　source　of　greater　anxiety　to　him。　As　often　as　he　began　to　consider　how
to　increase　this　inheritance；　or　to　lay　it　by；　so　often　his　misgiving
that　there　was　some　one　with　an　unsatisfied　claim　upon　his　justice；
returned；　and　that　alone　was　a　subject　to　outlast　the　longest　walk。
Again；　there　was　the　subject　of　his　relations　with　his　mother；　which
were　now　upon　an　equable　and　peaceful　but　never　confidential　footing；
and　whom　he　saw　several　times　a　week。　Little　Dorrit　was　a　leading　and　a
constant　subject：　for　the　circumstances　of　his　life；　united　to　those　of
her　own　story；　presented　the　little　creature　to　him　as　the　only　person
between　whom　and　himself　there　were　ties　of　innocent　reliance　on　one
hand；　and　affectionate　protection　on　the　other；　ties　of　passion；
respect；　unselfish　interest；　gratitude；　and　pity。　Thinking　of　her；　and
of　the　possibility　of　her　father's　release　from　prison　by　the　unbarring
hand　of　death……the　only　change　of　circumstance　he　could　foresee　that
might　enable　him　to　be　such　a　friend　to　her　as　he　wished　to　be；　by
altering　her　whole　manner　of　life；　smoothing　her　rough　road；　and
giving　her　a　home……he　regarded　her；　in　that　perspective；　as　his　adopted
daughter；　his　poor　child　of　the　Marshalsea　hushed　to　rest。　If　there　were
a　last　subject　in　his　thoughts；　and　it　lay　towards　Twickenham；　its　form
was　so　indefinite　that　it　was　little　more　than　the　pervading　atmosphere
in　which　these　other　subjects　floated　before　him。

He　had　crossed　the　heath　and　was　leaving　it　behind　when　he　gained　upon　a
figure　which　had　been　in　advance　of　him　for　some　time；　and　which；　as
he　gained　upon　it；　he　thought　he　knew。　He　derived　this　impression
from　something　in　the　turn　of　the　head；　and　in　the　figure's　action　of
consideration；　as　it　went　on　at　a　sufficiently　sturdy　walk。　But　when
the　man……for　it　was　a　man's　figure……pushed　his　hat　up　at　the　back　of　his
head；　and　stopped　to　consider　some　object　before　him；　he　knew　it　to　be
Daniel　Doyce。

'How　do　you　do；　Mr　Doyce？'　said　Clennam；　overtaking　him。　'I　am　glad　to
see　you　again；　and　in　a　healthier　place　than　the　Circumlocution　Office。'

'Ha！　Mr　Meagles's　friend！'　exclaimed　that　public　criminal；　ing　out　of
some　mental　binations　he　had　been　making；　and　offering　his　hand。　'I
am　glad　to　see　you；　sir。　Will　you　excuse　me　if　I　forget　your　name？'

'Readily。　It's　not　a　celebrated　name。　It's　not　Barnacle。'　'No；　no；'　said
Daniel；　laughing。　'And　now　I　know　what　it　is。　It's　Clennam。　How　do　you
do；　Mr　Clennam？'

'I　have　some　hope；'　said　Arthur；　as　they　walked　on　together；　'that　we
may　be　going　to　the　same　place；　Mr　Doyce。'

'Meaning　Twickenham？'　returned　Daniel。　'I　am　glad　to　hear　it。'

They　ate；　and　lightened　the　way　with　a　variety　of
conversation。　The　ingenious　culprit　was　a　man　of　great　modesty　and　good
sense；　and；　though　a　plain　man；　had　been　too　much　accustomed　to　bine
what　was　original　and　daring　in　conception　with　what　was　patient　and
minute　in　execution；　to　be　by　any　means　an　ordinary　man。　It　was　at　first
difficult　to　lead　him　to　speak　about　himself；　and　he　put　off　Arthur's
advances　in　that　direction　by　admitting　slightly；　oh　yes；　he　had　done
this；　and　he　had　done　that；　and　such　a　thing　was　of　his　making；　and
such　another　thing　was　his　discovery；　but　it　was　his　trade；　you　see；　his
trade；　until；　as　he　gradually　became　assured　that　his　panion　had　a
real　interest　in　his　account　of　himself；　he　frankly　yielded　to　it。　Then
it　appeared　that　he　was　the　son　of　a　north…country　blacksmith；　and　had
originally　been　apprenticed　by　his　widowed　mother　to　a　lock…maker；　that
he　had　'struck　out　a　few　little　things'　at　the　lock…maker's；　which　had
led　to　his　being　released　from　his　indentures　with　a　present；　which
present　had　enabled　him　to　gratify　his　ardent　wish　to　bind　himself　to
a　working　engineer；　under　whom　he　had　laboured　hard；　learned　hard；　and
lived　hard；　seven　years。　His　time　being　out；　he　had　'worked　in　the　shop'
at　weekly　wages　seven　or　eight　years　more；　and　had　then　betaken
himself　to　the　banks　of　the　Clyde；　where　he　had　studied；　and　filed；　and
hammered；　and　improved　his　knowledge；　theoretical　and　practical；　for　six
or　seven　years　more。　There　he　had　had　an　offer　to　go　to　Lyons；　which　he
had　accepted；　and　from　Lyons　had　been　engaged　to　go　to　Germany；　and　in
Germany　had　had　an　offer　to　go　to　St　Petersburg；　and　there　had　done　very
well　indeed……never　better。　However；　he　had　naturally　felt　a　preference
for　his　own　country；　and　a　wish　to　gain　distinction　there；　and　to　do
whatever　service　he　could　do；　there　rather　than　elsewhere。　And　so　he　had
e　home。　And　so　at　home　he　had　established　himself　in　business；　and
had　invented　and　executed；　and　worked　his　way　on；　until；　after　a　dozen
years　of　constant　suit　and　service；　he　had　been　enrolled　in　the
Great　British　Legion　of　Honour；　the　Legion　of　the　Rebuffed　of　the
Circumlocution　Office；　and　had　been　decorated　with　the　Great　British
Order　of　Merit；　the　Order　of　the　Disorder　of　the　Barnacles　and
Stiltstalkings。

'It　is　much　to　be　regretted；'　said　Clennam；　'that　you　ever　turned　your
thoughts　that　way；　Mr　Doyce。'

'True；　sir；　true　to　a　certain　extent。　But　what　is　a　man　to　do？　if　he
has　the　misfortune　to　strike　out　something　serviceable　to　the　nation；
he　must　follow　where　it　leads　him。'　'Hadn't　he　better　let　it　go？'　said
Clennam。

'He　can't　do　it；'　said　Doyce；　shaking　his　head　with　a　thoughtful　smile。
'It's　not　put　into　his　head　to　be　buried。　It's　put　into　his　head　to　be
made　useful。　You　hold　your　life　on　the　condition　that　to　the　last　you
shall　struggle　hard　for　it。　Every　man　holds　a　discovery　on　the　same
terms。'

'That　is　to　say；'　said　Arthur；　with　a　growing　admiration　of　his　quiet
panion；　'you　are　not　finally　discouraged　even　now？'

'I　have　no　right　to　be；　if　I　am；'　returned　the　other。　'The　thing　is　as
true　as　it　ever　was。'

When　they　had　walked　a　little　way　in　silence；　Clennam；　at　once　to
change　the　direct　point　of　their　conversation　and　not　to　change　it
too　abruptly；　asked　Mr　Doyce　if　he　had　any　partner　in　his　business　to
relieve　him　of　a　portion　of　its　anxieties？

'No；'　he　returned；　'not　at　present。　I　had　when　I　first　entered　on　it；
and　a　good　man　he　was。　But　he　has　been　dead　some　years；　and　as　I　could
not　easily　take　to　the　notion　of　another　when　I　lost　him；　I　bought
his　share　for　myself　and　have　gone　on　by　myself　ever　since。　And　here's
another　thing；'　he　said；　stopping　for　a　moment　with　a　good…humoured
laugh　in　his　eyes；　and　laying　his　closed　right　hand；　with　its　peculiar
suppleness　of　thumb；　on　Clennam's　arm；　'no　inventor　can　be　a　man　of
business；　you　know。'

'No？'　said　Clennam。

'Why；　so　the　men　of　business　say；'　he　answered；　resuming　the　walk　and
laughing　outright。　'I　don't　know　why　we　unfortunate　creatures　should
be　supposed　to　want　mon　sense；　but　it　is　generally　taken　for　granted
that　we　do。　Even　the　best　friend　I　have　in　the　world；　our　excellent
friend　over　yonder；'　said　Doyce；　nodding　towards　Twickenham；　'extends
a　sort　of　protection　to　me；　don't　you　know；　as　a　man　not　quite　able　to
take　care　of　himself？'

Arthur　Clennam　could　not　help　joining　in　the　good…humoured　laugh；　for　he
recognised　the　truth　of　the　description。

'So　I　find　that　I　must　have　a　partner　who　is　a　man　of　business　and　not
guilty　of　any　inventions；'　said　Daniel　Doyce；　taking　off　his　hat　to　pass
his　hand　over　his　forehead；　'if　it's　only　in　deference　to　the　current
opinion；　and　to　uphold　the　credit　of　the　Works。　I　don't　think　he'll　find
that　I　have　been　very　remiss　or　confused　in　my　way　of　conducting　them；
but　that's　for　him　to　say……whoever　he　is……not　for　me。'　'You　have　not
chosen　him　yet；　then？'

'No；　sir；　no。　I　have　only　just　e　to　a　decision　to　take　one。　The　fact
is；　there's　more　to　do　than　there　used　to　be；　and　the　Works　are　enough
for　me　as　I　grow　older。　What　with　the　books　and　correspondence；　and
foreign　journeys　for　which　a　Principal　is　necessary；　I　can't　do　all。　I
am　going　to　talk　over　the　best　way　of　negotiating　the　matter；　if　I　find
a　spare　half…hour　between　this　and　Monday　morning；　with　my……my　Nurse　and
protector；'　said　Doyce；　with　laughing　eyes　again。　'He　is　a　sagacious　man
in　business；　and　has　had　a　good　apprenticeship　to　it。'

After　this；　they　conversed　on　different　subjects　until　they　arrived　at
their　journey's　end。　A　posed　and　unobtrusive　self…sustainment　was
noticeable　in　Daniel　Doyce……a　calm　knowledge　that　what　was　true　must
remain　true；　in　spite　of　all　the　Barnacles　in　the　family　ocean；　and
would　be　just　the　truth；　and　neither　more　nor　less　when　even　that　sea
had　run　dry……which　had　a　kind　of　greatness　in　it；　though　not　of　the
official　quality。

As　he　knew　the　house　well；　he　conducted　Arthur　to　it　by　the　way　that
showed　it　to　the　best　advantage。　It　was　a　charming　place　（none　the　worse
for　being　a　little　eccentric）；　on　the　road　by　the　river；　and　just　what
the　residence　of　the　Meagles　family　ought　to　be。　It　stood　in　a　garden；
no　doubt　as　fresh　and　beautiful　in　the　May　of　the　Year　as　Pet　now　was
in　the　May　of　her　life；　and　it　was　defended　by　a　goodly　show　of　handsome
trees　and　spreading　evergreens；　as　Pet　was　by　Mr　and　Mrs　Meagles。　It
was　made　out　of　an　old　brick　house；　of　which　a　part　had　been　altogether
pulled　down；　and　another　part　had　been　changed　into　the　present　cottage；
so　there　was　a　hale　elderly　portion；　to　represent　Mr　and　Mrs　Meagles；
and　a　young　picturesque；　very　pretty　portion　to　represent　Pet。　There　was
even　the　later　addition　of　a　conservatory　sheltering　itself　against　it；
uncertain　of　hue　in　its　deep…stained　glass；　and　in　its　more　transparent
portions　flashing　to　the　sun's　rays；　now　like　fire　and　now　like　harmless
water　drops；　which　might　have　stood　for　Tattycoram。　Within　view　was
the　peaceful　river　and　the　ferry…boat；　to　moralise　to　all　the　inmates
saying：　Young　or　old；　passionate　or　tranquil；　chafing　or　content；　you；
thus　runs　the　current　always。　Let　the　heart　swell　into　what　discord　it
will；　thus　plays　the　rippling　water　on　the　prow　of　the　ferry…boat　ever
the　same　tune。　Year　after　year；　so　much　allowance　for　the　drifting　of
the　boat；　so　many　miles　an　hour　the　flowing　of　the　stream；　here　the
rushes；　there　the　lilies；　nothing　uncertain　or　unquiet；　upon　this　road
that　steadily　runs　away；　while　you；　upon　your　flowing　road　of　time；　are
so　capricious　and　distracted。

The　bell　at　the　gate　had　scarcely　sounded　when　Mr　Meagles　came　out　to
receive　them。　Mr　Meagles　had　scarcely　e　out；　when　Mrs　Meagles　came
out。　Mrs　Meagles　had　scarcely　e　out；　when　Pet　came　out。　Pet　scarcely
had　e　out；　when　Tattycoram　came　out。　Never　had　visitors　a　more
hospitable　reception。

'Here　we　are；　you　see；'　said　Mr　Meagles；　'boxed　up；　Mr　Clennam；　within
our　own　home…limits；　as　if　we　were　never　going　to　expand……that　is；
travel……again。　Not　like　Marseilles；　eh？　No　allonging　and　marshonging
here！'

'A　different　kind　of　beauty；　indeed！'　said　Clennam；　looking　about　him。

'But；　Lord　bless　me！'　cried　Mr　Meagles；　rubbing　his　hands　with　a　relish；
'it　was　an　unmonly　pleasant　thing　being　in　quarantine；　wasn't　it？
Do　you　know；　I　have　often　wished　myself　back　again？　We　were　a　capital
party。'

This　was　Mr　Meagles's　invariable　habit。　Always　to　object　to　everything
while　he　was　travelling；　and　always　to　want　to　get　back　to　it　when　he
was　not