the notebook-恋恋笔记本(英文版)-第2部分

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　together　until　the　music　ended。　He　walked　her　Home　afterwards；　and　when　they　paused　on　the　porch　after　saying　good　night；　he　kissed　her　for　the　first　time　and　wondered　why　he　had　waited　as　long　as　he　had。

Later　in　the　summer　he　brought　her　to　this　house；　looked　past　the　decay；　and　told　her　that　one　day　he　was　going　to　own　it　and　fix　it　up。　They　spent　hours　together　talking　about　their　dreams—his　of　seeing　the　world；　hers　of　being　an　artist—and　on　a　humid　night　in　August。　They　both　lost　their　virginity。　When　she　left　three　weeks　later；　she　took　a　piece　of　him　and　the　rest　of　summer　with　her。　He　watched　her　leave　town　on　an　early　rainy　morning；　watched　through　eyes　that　hadn’t　slept　the　night　before；　then　went　Home　and　packed　a　hag。　He　spent　the　next　week　alone　on　Harkers　Island。

Noah　checked　his　watch。　Eight　twelve。　He　got　up　and　walked　to　the　front　of　the　house　and　looked　up　the　road。　Gus　wasn’t　in　sight；　and　Noah　figured　he　wouldn’t　be　ing。　He　went　back　to　his　rocker　and　sat　again。

He　remembered　talking　to　Gus　about　her。　The　first　time　he　mentioned　her。　Gus　started　to　shake　his　head　and　laugh。　“So　that’s　the　ghost　you　been　running　from。”　When　asked　what　he　meant。　Gus　said。　“You　know；　the　ghost；　the　memory。　I　been　watchin’　you　workin’　day　and　night；　slavin’　so　hard　you　barely　have　time　to　catch　your　breath。　People　do　that　for　three　reasons。　Either　they　crazy；　or　stupid；　or　tryin’　to　forget。　And　with　you；　I　knew　you　was　tryin’　to　forget。　I　just　didn’t　know　what。”

　Gus　was　right；　of　course。　New　Bern　was　haunted　now。　Haunted　by　the　ghost　of　her　memory。　He　saw　her　in　Fort　Totten　Park；　their　place；　every　time　he　walked　by。　When　he　sat　on　the　porch　at　night　with　his　guitar；　he　saw　her　beside　him；　listening　as　he　played　the　music　of　his　childhood。　Everywhere　he　looked；　he　saw　things　that　brought　her　back　to　life。

Noah　shook　his　head；　and　when　her　image　began　to　fade　he　returned　to　Whitman。　He　read　for　an　hour；　looking　up　every　now　and　then　to　see　raccoons　and　possums　scurrying　near　the　creek。　At　nine　thirty　he　closed　the　book；　went　upstairs　to　the　bedroom　and　wrote　in　his　journal。　Forty　minutes　later　he　was　sleeping。　Clem　wandered　up　the　stairs；　sniffed　him　as　he　slept；　and　then　paced　in　circles　before　finally　curling　up　at　the　foot　of　his　bed。

EARLIER　THAT　evening　and　a　hundred　miles　away；　she　sat　alone　on　the　porch　swing　of　her　parents’　Home；　one　leg　tucked　beneath　her；　wondering　if　she’d　made　the　right　decision。　She’d　struggled　with　it　for　days—and　had　struggled　some　more　this　evening—but　in　the　end　she　knew　she　would　never　forgive　herself　if　she　let　the　oppor…tunity　slip　away。

Lon　didn’t　know　the　real　reason　she　left　the　following　morning。　The　week　before；　she’d　hinted　to　him　that　she　might　want　to　visit　some　antique　shops　near　the　coast。　“It’s　just　a　couple　of　days；”　she　said；　“and　besides；　I　need　a　break　from　planning　the　wedding。”　She　felt　bad　about　the　lie；　but　knew　there　was　no　way　she　could　tell　him　the　truth。　Her　leaving　had　nothing　to　do　with　him；　and　it　wouldn’t　he　fair　of　her　to　ask　him　to　understand。

It　was　an　easy　drive　from　Raleigh；　slightly　more　than　two　hours；　and　she　arrived　a　little　before　eleven。　She　checked　into　a　small　inn　downtown；　went　to　her　room　and　unpacked　her　suitcase；　hanging　her　dresses　in　the　closet　and　putting　everything　else　in　the　drawers。　She　had　a　quick　lunch；　asked　the　waitress　for　directions　to　the　nearest　antique　stores；　then　spent　the　next　few　hours　shopping。　By　four　thirty　she　was　back　in　her　room。

She　sat　on　the　edge　of　the　bed；　picked　up　the　phone　and　called　Lon。　He　couldn’t　speak　long；　but　before　they　hung　up　she　gave　him　the　phone　number　where　she　was　staying　and　promised　to　call　the　following　day。　Good；　she　thought　while　hanging　up　the　phone。　Routine　conversation；　nothing　out　of　the　ordinary。　Nothing　to　make　him　suspicious。

　She’d　known　him　almost　four　years　now；　it　was　1942　when　they　met；　the　world　at　war　and　America　one　year　in。　Everyone　was　doing　their　part　and　she　was　volunteering　at　the　hospital　down…town。　The　first　waves　of　wounded　young　soldiers　were　ing　Home；　and　she　spent　her　days　with　broken　men　and　shattered　bodies。　When　Lon；　with　his　easy　charm；　introduced　himself　at　a　party；　she　saw　in　him　exactly　what　she　needed：　someone　with　con…fidence　about　the　future　and　a　sense　of　humour　that　drove　all　her　fears　away。

He　was　handsome；　intelligent　and　driven；　a　successful　lawyer　eight　years　older　than　she；　and　he　pursued　his　job　with　passion；　not　only　winning　cases　but　also　making　a　name　for　himself。　She　understood　his　vigorous　pursuit　of　success；　for　her　father　and　most　of　the　men　she　met　in　her　social　circle　were　the　same　way。　Like　them；　he’d　been　raised　that　way；　and；　in　the　caste　system　of　the　South；　family　name　and　acplishments　were　often　the　most　important　consideration　in　marriage。　In　some　cases　they　were　the　only　consideration。

Though　she　had　quietly　rebelled　against　this　idea　since　child…hood　and　had　dated　a　few　men　best　described　as　reckless；　she　found　herself　drawn　to　Lon’s　easy　ways　and　had　gradually　e　to　love　him。　Despite　the　long　hours　he　worked；　he　was　good　to　her。　He　was　a　gentleman；　mature　and　responsible；　and　during　those　terrible　periods　of　the　war　when　she　needed　someone　to　hold　her；　he　never　once　turned　her　away。　She　felt　secure　with　him　and　knew　he　loved　her　as　well　and　that　was　why　she　had　accepted　his　proposal。

Thinking　these　things　made　her　feel　guilty　about　being　here；　and　she　knew　she　should　pack　her　things　and　leave　before　she　changed　her　mind。　She　picked　up　her　handbag；　hesitated　and　almost　made　it　to　the　door。　But　coincidence　had　pushed　her　here；　and　she　put　the　bag　down；　again　realizing　that　if　she　quit　now　she　would　always　wonder　what　would　have　happened。　She　couldn’t　live　with　that

She　went　to　the　bathroom　and　started　a　bath。　After　checking　the　temperature　she　walked　to　the　chest　of　drawers　in　the　bedroom；　taking　off　her　gold　earrings　as　she　crossed　the　room。　She　found　her　sponge　bag；　opened　it　and　pulled　out　a　razor　and　a　bar　of　soap；　then　undressed　in　front　of　the　chest　of　drawers。　She　looked　at　herself　in　the　mirror。　Her　body　was　firm　and　well　proportioned；　breasts　softly　rounded；　stomach　flat；　legs　slim。　She’d　inherited　her　mother’s　high　cheekbones；　smooth　skin　and　blonde　hair；　but　her　best　feature　was　her　own。　She　had　“eyes　like　ocean　waves”；　as　Lon　liked　to　say。

Taking　the　razor　and　soap；　she　went　to　the　bathroom　again；　turned　off　the　tap；　set　a　towel　where　she　could　reach　it　and　stepped　gingerly　into　the　bath。

She　liked　the　way　a　bath　relaxed　her；　and　she　slipped　lower　in　the　water。　The　day　had　been　long　and　her　back　was　tense；　but　she　was　pleased　she　had　finished　shopping　so　quickly。　She　had　to　go　hack　to　Raleigh　with　something　tangible；　and　the　things　she　had　picked　out　would　work　fine。　She　made　a　mental　note　to　find　the　names　of　some　other　stores　in　the　Beaufort　area；　then　suddenly　doubted　she　would　need　to。　Lon　wasn’t　the　type　to　check　up　on　her。

She　reached　for　the　soap；　lathered　up　and　began　to　shave　her　legs。　As　she　did；　she　thought　about　her　parents　and　what　they　would　think　of　her　behaviour。　No　doubt　they　would　disapprove；　especially　her　mother。　Her　mother　had　never　really　accepted　what　had　happened　the　summer　they’d　spent　here　and　wouldn’t　accept　it　now；　no　matter　what　reason　she　gave。

She　soaked　a　while　longer　in　the　bath　before　finally　getting　out　and　towelling　off。　She　went　to　the　closet　and　looked　for　a　dress；　finally　choosing　a　long　yellow　one　that　dipped　slightly　in　the　front；　the　kind　that　was　mon　in　the　South。　She　slipped　it　on　and　looked　in　the　mirror；　turning　from　side　to　side。　It　fitted　her　well；　but　she　eventually　decided　against　it　and　put　it　back　on　the　hanger。　Instead　she　found　a　more　casual；　less　revealing　dress　and　put　that　on。　Light　blue　with　a　touch　of　lace；　it　buttoned　up　at　the　front；　and　though　it　didn’t　look　quite　as　nice　as　the　first　one；　it　conveyed　an　image　she　thought　would　be　more　appropriate。

She　wore　little　make…up；　just　a　touch　of　eye　shadow　and　mas…cara　to　accent　her　eyes。　Perfume　next；　not　too　much。　She　found　a　pair　of　small　hooped　earrings；　put　those　on；　then　slipped　on　the　tan；　low…heeled　sandals　she　had　been　wearing　earlier。　She　brushed　her　blonde　hair；　pinned　it　up　and　looked　in　the　mirror。　No；　it　was　too　much；　she　thought；　and　she　let　it　back　down。　Better。

When　she　was　finished　she　stepped　back　and　evaluated　herself。　She　looked　good：　not　too　dressy；　not　too　casual。　She　didn’t　want　to　overdo　it。　After　all；　she　didn’t　know　what　to　expect。　It　had　been　a　long　time—probably　too　long—and　many　different　things　could　have　happened；　even　things　she　didn’t　want　to　consider。

　She　looked　down　and　saw　her　hands　were　shaking；　and　she　laughed　to　herself。　It　was　strange；　she　wasn’t　normally　this　nervous。

She　found　her　handbag　and　car　keys；　then　picked　up　the　room　key。　She　turned　it　over　in　her　hand　a　couple　of　times；　thinking　…　You’ve　e　this　far；　don’t　give　up　now。　She　nearly　left　then；　but　instead　sat　on　the　bed　again。　She　checked　her　watch。　Almost　six　o’clock。　She　knew　she　had　to　leave　in　a　few　minutes—she　didn’t　want　to　arrive　after　dark—but　she　needed　a　little　more　time。

“Damn；”　she　whispered。　“What　am　I　doing　here？　I　shouldn’t　be　here。　There’s　no　reason　for　it。”　But　once　she　said　it　she　knew　it　wasn’t　true。　If　nothing　else；　she　would　have　her　answer。

She　opened　her　handbag　and　thumbed　through　it　until　she　came　to　a　folded…up　piece　of　newspaper。　After　taking　it　out　slowly；　almost　reverently；　she　unfolded　it　and　stared　at　it　for　a　while。　“This　is　why；”　she　finally　said　to　herself；　“this　is　what　it’s　all　about。”

NOAH　GOT　UP　at　five　and　kayaked　for　an　hour　up　Brices　Creek；　as　he　usually　did。　When　he　finished　he　changed　into　his　work　clothes；　warmed　some　bread　rolls　from　the　day　before；　grabbed　a　couple　of　apples　and　washed　his　breakfast　down　with　two　cups　of　Coffee。

He　worked　on　the　fencing　again；　repairing　the　posts。　It　was　an　Indian　summer；　the　temperature　over　eighty　degrees；　and　by　lunchtime　he　was　hot　and　tired　and　glad　of　the　break。

He　ate　at　the　creek　because　the　mullets　were　jumping。　He　liked　to　watch　them　jump　three　or　four　limes　and　glide　through　the　air　before　vanishing　into　the　brackish　water。　For　some　reason　he　had　always　been　pleased　by　the　fact　that　their　instinct　hadn’t　changed　for　thousands；　maybe　tens　of　thousands；　of　years。

Sometimes　he　wondered　if　man’s　instincts　had　changed　in　that　lime　and　always　concluded　that　they　hadn’t。　At　least　in　the　basic；　most　primal　ways。　As　far　as　he　could　tell；　man　had　always　been　aggressive；　always　striving　to　dominate；　trying　to　control　the　world　and　everything　in　it。　The　war　in　Europe　and　Japan　proved　that。

He　stopped　working　a　little　after　three　and　walked　to　a　small　shed　that　sat　near　his　dock。　He　went　in；　found　his　Fishing　pole；　a　couple　of　lures　and　some　live　crickets　he　kept　on　hand；　then　walked　out　to　the　dock；　baited　his　hook　and　cast　his　line。

Fishing　always　made　him　reflect　on　his　life；　and　he　did　so　now。　After　his　mother　died　he　could　remember　spending　his　days　in　a　dozen　different　Homes。　For　one　reason　or　another；　he　stuttered　badly　as　a　child　and　was　teased　for　it。　He　began　to　speak　less　and　less；　and　by　the　age　of　five　he　wouldn’t　speak　at　all。　When　he　started　classes；　his　teachers　thought　he　was　retarded　and　re…mended　that　he　be　pulled　out　of　school。

Instead；　his　father　took　matters　into　his　own　hands。　He　kept　him　in　school　and　afterwards　made　him　e　to　the　timber　yard　where　he　worked；　to　haul　and　stack　wood。　“It’s　good　that　we　spend　some　time　together；”　he　would　say　as　they　worked　side…by…side；　“just　like　my　daddy　and　I　did。”

His　father　would　talk　about　animals　or　tell　stories　and　legends　mon　to　North　Carolina。　Within　a　few　months　Noah　was　speak…ing　again；　though　not　well；　and　his　father　decided　to　teach　him　to　read　with　books　of　poetry。　“Learn　to　read　this　aloud　and　you’ll　be　able　to　say　anything　you　want　to。”　His　father　had　been　right　again；　and　by　the　following　year　Noah　had　lost　his　stutter。　But　he　contin…ued　to　go　to　the　timber　yard　every　day　simply　because　his　father　was　there；　and　in　the　evenings　he　would　read　the　works　of　Whit…man　and　Tennyson　aloud　as　his　father　rocked　beside　him。　He　had　been　reading　poetry　ever　since。

When　he　got　a　little　older　he　spent　most　of　his　weekends　and　vacations　alone。　He　explored　the　Croatan　forest　in　his　first　canoe；　following　Brices　Creek　for　twenty　miles　until　he　could　go　no　fur…ther；　then　hiked　the　remaining　miles　to　the　coast。　Camping　and　exploring　became　his　passion；　and　he　spent　hours　in　the　forest；　whistling　quietly　and　playing　his　guitar　for　beavers　and　geese　and　wild　blue　herons。　Poets　knew　that　isolation　in　nature；　far　from　people　and　things　man…made；　was　good　for　the　soul；　and　he’d　always　identified　with　poets。

Although　he　was　quiet；　years　of　heavy　lifting　at　the　timber　yard　helped　him　excel　in　sports；　and　his　athletic　success　led　to　popularity。　He　enjoyed　the　football　and　track　meets；　and；　though　most　of　his　teammates　spent　their　free　time　together　as　well；　he　rarely　joined　them。　He　had　a　few　girlfriends　in　school　but　none　had　ever　made　an　impression　on　him。　Except　for　one。　And　she　came　after　graduation。

Allie。　His　Allie。

He　remembered　talking　to　Fin　about　Allie　after　they　left　the　festival　that　first　night；　and　Fin　had　laughed。　Then　he’d　made　two　predictions：　first　that　they　would　fall　in　love；　and　second　that　it　wouldn’t　work　out。

There　was　a　slight　tug　at　his　line　and　Noah　hoped　for　a　large…mouth　bass；　but　the　tugging　eventually　stopped　and；　after　reeling　his　line　in　and　checking　the　bait；　he　cast　again。

Fin　ended　up　being　right　on　both　counts。　Most　of　the　summer　she　had　to　make　excuses　to　her　parents　whenever　they　wanted　to　see　each　other。　It　wasn’t　that　they　didn’t　like　him—it　was　that　he　was　from　a　different　class；　too　poor；　and　they　would　never　approve　if　their　daughter　became　serious　with　someone　like　him。　“I　don’t　care　what　my　parents　think；　I　love　you　and　always　will；”　she　would　say。　“We’ll　find　a　way　to　be　together。”

But　in　the　end　they　couldn’t。　By　early　September　the　tobacco　had　been　harvested　and　she　had　no　choice　but　to　return　with　her　family　to　Winston…Salem。　“Only　the　summer　is　over；　Allie；　not　us；”　he’d　said　the　morning　she　left。　“We’ll　never　be　over。”　But　they　were。　For　a　reason　he　didn’t　understand；　the　letters　he　wrote　went　unanswered。

He　decided　to　leave　New　Bern　to　help　get　her　off　his　mind；　and　also　because　the　Depression　made　earning　a　living　in　New　Bern　almost　impossible。　He　went　first　to　Norfolk　and　worked　at　a　ship…yard　for　six　months　before　he　was　laid　off；　then　moved　to　New　Jersey　because　he’d　heard　the　economy　wasn’t　so　bad　there。

He　found　a　job　in　a　scrap　yard；　separating　scrap　metal　from　everything　else。　The　owner；　a　Jewish　man　named　Morris　Goldman；　was　intent　on　collecting　as　much　scrap　metal　as　he　could；　con…vinced　that　a　war　was　going　to　start　in　Europe　and　that　America　would　be　dragged　in　again。　Noah　didn’t　care。　He　was　just　happy　to　have　a　job。

He　worked　hard。　Not　only　did　it　help　him　keep　his　mind　off　Allie　during　the　day；　but　it　was　something　he　felt　he　had　to　do。　His　daddy　had　always　said：　“Give　a　day’s　work　for　a　day’s　pay。　Any…thing　less　is　stealing。”　That　attitud