简爱(英文版)-第11部分

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“Is　it　all　over？”　she　asked；　looking　down　at　my　face。　“Have　you　cried　your　grief　away？”
“I　am　afraid　I　never　shall　do　that。”
“Why？”
“Because　I　have　been　wrongly　accused；　and　you；　ma’am；　and　everybody　else；　will　now　think　me　wicked。”
“We　shall　think　you　what　you　prove　yourself　to　be；　my　child。　Continue　to　act　as　a　good　girl；　and　you　will　satisfy　us。”
“Shall　I；　Miss　Temple？”
“You　will；”　said　she；　passing　her　arm　round　me。　“And　now　tell　me　who　is　the　lady　whom　Mr。　Brocklehurst　called　your　benefactress？”
“Mrs。　Reed；　my　uncle’s　wife。　My　uncle　is　dead；　and　he　left　me　to　her　care。”
“Did　she　not；　then；　adopt　you　of　her　own　accord？”
“No；　ma’am；　she　was　sorry　to　have　to　do　it：　but　my　uncle；　as　I　have　often　heard　the　servants　say；　got　her　to　promise　before　he　died　that　she　would　always　keep　me。”
“Well　now；　Jane；　you　know；　or　at　least　I　will　tell　you；　that　when　a　criminal　is　accused；　he　is　always　allowed　to　speak　in　his　own　defence。　You　have　been　charged　with　falsehood；　defend　yourself　to　me　as　well　as　you　can。　Say　whatever　your　memory　suggests　is　true；　but　add　nothing　and　exaggerate　nothing。”
I　resolved；　in　the　depth　of　my　heart；　that　I　would　be　most　moderate—most　correct；　and；　having　reflected　a　few　minutes　in　order　to　arrange　coherently　what　I　had　to　say；　I　told　her　all　the　story　of　my　sad　childhood。　Exhausted　by　emotion；　my　language　was　more　subdued　than　it　generally　was　when　it　developed　that　sad　theme；　and　mindful　of　Helen’s　warnings　against　the　indulgence　of　resentment；　I　infused　into　the　narrative　far　less　of　gall　and　wormwood　than　ordinary。　Thus　restrained　and　simplified；　it　sounded　more　credible：　I　felt　as　I　went　on　that　Miss　Temple　fully　believed　me。
In　the　course　of　the　tale　I　had　mentioned　Mr。　Lloyd　as　having　e　to　see　me　after　the　fit：　for　I　never　forgot　the；　to　me；　frightful　episode　of　the　red…room：　in　detailing　which；　my　excitement　was　sure；　in　some　degree；　to　break　bounds；　for　nothing　could　soften　in　my　recollection　the　spasm　of　agony　which　clutched　my　heart　when　Mrs。　Reed　spurned　my　wild　supplication　for　pardon；　and　locked　me　a　second　time　in　the　dark　and　haunted　chamber。
I　had　finished：　Miss　Temple　regarded　me　a　few　minutes　in　silence；　she　then　said—
“I　know　something　of　Mr。　Lloyd；　I　shall　write　to　him；　if　his　reply　agrees　with　your　statement；　you　shall　be　publicly　cleared　from　every　imputation；　to　me；　Jane；　you　are　clear　now。”
She　kissed　me；　and　still　keeping　me　at　her　side　（where　I　was　well　contented　to　stand；　for　I　derived　a　child’s　pleasure　from　the　contemplation　of　her　face；　her　dress；　her　one　or　two　ornaments；　her　white　forehead；　her　clustered　and　shining　curls；　and　beaming　dark　eyes）；　she　proceeded　to　address　Helen　Burns。
“How　are　you　to…night；　Helen？　Have　you　coughed　much　to…day？”
“Not　quite　so　much；　I　think；　ma’am。”
“And　the　pain　in　your　chest？”
“It　is　a　little　better。”
Miss　Temple　got　up；　took　her　hand　and　examined　her　pulse；　then　she　returned　to　her　own　seat：　as　she　resumed　it；　I　heard　her　sigh　low。　She　was　pensive　a　few　minutes；　then　rousing　herself；　she　said　cheerfully—
“But　you　two　are　my　visitors　to…night；　I　must　treat　you　as　such。”　She　rang　her　bell。
“Barbara；”　she　said　to　the　servant　who　answered　it；　“I　have　not　yet　had　tea；　bring　the　tray　and　place　cups　for　these　two　young　ladies。”
And　a　tray　was　soon　brought。　How　pretty；　to　my　eyes；　did　the　china　cups　and　bright　teapot　look；　placed　on　the　little　round　table　near　the　fire！　How　fragrant　was　the　steam　of　the　beverage；　and　the　scent　of　the　toast！　of　which；　however；　I；　to　my　dismay　（for　I　was　beginning　to　be　hungry）　discerned　only　a　very　small　portion：　Miss　Temple　discerned　it　too。
“Barbara；”　said　she；　“can　you　not　bring　a　little　more　bread　and　butter？　There　is　not　enough　for　three。”
Barbara　went　out：　she　returned　soon—
“Madam；　Mrs。　Harden　says　she　has　sent　up　the　usual　quantity。”
Mrs。　Harden；　be　it　observed；　was　the　housekeeper：　a　woman　after　Mr。　Brocklehurst’s　own　heart；　made　up　of　equal　parts　of　whalebone　and　iron。
“Oh；　very　well！”　returned　Miss　Temple；　“we　must　make　it　do；　Barbara；　I　suppose。”　And　as　the　girl　withdrew　she　added；　smiling；　“Fortunately；　I　have　it　in　my　power　to　supply　deficiencies　for　this　once。”
Having　invited　Helen　and　me　to　approach　the　table；　and　placed　before　each　of　us　a　cup　of　tea　with　one　delicious　but　thin　morsel　of　toast；　she　got　up；　unlocked　a　drawer；　and　taking　from　it　a　parcel　wrapped　in　paper；　disclosed　presently　to　our　eyes　a　good…sized　seed…cake。
“I　meant　to　give　each　of　you　some　of　this　to　take　with　you；”　said　she；　“but　as　there　is　so　little　toast；　you　must　have　it　now；”　and　she　proceeded　to　cut　slices　with　a　generous　hand。
We　feasted　that　evening　as　on　nectar　and　ambrosia；　and　not　the　least　delight　of　the　entertainment　was　the　smile　of　gratification　with　which　our　hostess　regarded　us；　as　we　satisfied　our　famished　appetites　on　the　delicate　fare　she　liberally　supplied。
Tea　over　and　the　tray　removed；　she　again　summoned　us　to　the　fire；　we　sat　one　on　each　side　of　her；　and　now　a　conversation　followed　between　her　and　Helen；　which　it　was　indeed　a　privilege　to　be　admitted　to　hear。
Miss　Temple　had　always　something　of　serenity　in　her　air；　of　state　in　her　mien；　of　refined　propriety　in　her　language；　which　precluded　deviation　into　the　ardent；　the　excited；　the　eager：　something　which　chastened　the　pleasure　of　those　who　looked　on　her　and　listened　to　her；　by　a　controlling　sense　of　awe；　and　such　was　my　feeling　now：　but　as　to　Helen　Burns；　I　was　struck　with　wonder。
The　refreshing　meal；　the　brilliant　fire；　the　presence　and　kindness　of　her　beloved　instructress；　or；　perhaps；　more　than　all　these；　something　in　her　oind；　had　roused　her　powers　within　her。　They　woke；　they　kindled：　first；　they　glowed　in　the　bright　tint　of　her　cheek；　which　till　this　hour　I　had　never　seen　but　pale　and　bloodless；　then　they　shone　in　the　liquid　lustre　of　her　eyes；　ore　singular　than　that　of　Miss　Temple’s—a　beauty　neither　of　fine　colour　nor　long　eyelash；　nor　pencilled　brow；　but　of　meaning；　of　movement；　of　radiance。　Then　her　soul　sat　on　her　lips；　and　language　flowed；　from　what　source　I　cannot　tell。　Has　a　girl　of　fourteen　a　heart　large　enough；　vigorous　enough；　to　hold　the　swelling　spring　of　pure；　full；　fervid　eloquence？　Such　was　the　characteristic　of　Helen’s　discourse　on　that；　to　me；　memorable　evening；　her　spirit　seemed　hastening　to　live　within　a　very　brief　span　as　much　as　many　live　during　a　protracted　existence。
They　conversed　of　things　I　had　never　heard　of；　of　nations　and　times　past；　of　countries　far　away；　of　secrets　of　nature　discovered　or　guessed　at：　they　spoke　of　books：　how　many　they　had　read！　What　stores　of　knowledge　they　possessed！　Then　they　seemed　so　familiar　with　French　names　and　French　authors：　but　my　amazement　reached　its　climax　when　Miss　Temple　asked　Helen　if　she　sometimes　snatched　a　moment　to　recall　the　Latin　her　father　had　taught　her；　and　taking　a　book　from　a　shelf；　bade　her　read　and　construe　a　page　of　Virgil；　and　Helen　obeyed；　my　organ　of　veneration　expanding　at　every　sounding　line。　She　had　scarcely　finished　ere　the　bell　announced　bedtime！　no　delay　could　be　admitted；　Miss　Temple　embraced　us　both；　saying；　as　she　drew　us　to　her　heart—
“God　bless　you；　my　children！”
Helen　she　held　a　little　longer　than　me：　she　let　her　go　more　reluctantly；　it　was　Helen　her　eye　followed　to　the　door；　it　was　for　her　she　a　second　time　breathed　a　sad　sigh；　for　her　she　wiped　a　tear　from　her　cheek。
On　reaching　the　bedroom；　we　heard　the　voice　of　Miss　Scatcherd：　she　was　examining　drawers；　she　had　just　pulled　out　Helen　Burns’s；　and　when　we　entered　Helen　was　greeted　with　a　sharp　reprimand；　and　told　that　to…morrow　she　should　have　half…a…dozen　of　untidily　folded　articles　pinned　to　her　shoulder。
“My　things　were　indeed　in　shameful　disorder；”　murmured　Helen　to　me；　in　a　low　voice：　“I　intended　to　have　arranged　them；　but　I　forgot。”
Next　morning；　Miss　Scatcherd　wrote　in　conspicuous　characters　on　a　piece　of　pasteboard　the　word　“Slattern；”　and　bound　it　like　a　phylactery　round　Helen’s　large；　mild；　intelligent；　and　benign…　looking　forehead。　She　wore　it　till　evening；　patient；　unresentful；　regarding　it　as　a　deserved　punishment。　The　moment　Miss　Scatcherd　withdrew　after　afternoon　school；　I　ran　to　Helen；　tore　it　off；　and　thrust　it　into　the　fire：　the　fury　of　which　she　was　incapable　had　been　burning　in　my　soul　all　day；　and　tears；　hot　and　large；　had　continually　been　scalding　my　cheek；　for　the　spectacle　of　her　sad　resignation　gave　me　an　intolerable　pain　at　the　heart。
About　a　week　subsequently　to　the　incidents　above　narrated；　Miss　Temple；　who　had　written　to　Mr。　Lloyd；　received　his　answer：　it　appeared　that　what　he　said　went　to　corroborate　my　account。　Miss　Temple；　having　assembled　the　whole　school；　announced　that　inquiry　had　been　made　into　the　charges　alleged　against　Jane　Eyre；　and　that　she　was　most　happy　to　be　able　to　pronounce　her　pletely　cleared　from　every　imputation。　The　teachers　then　shook　hands　with　me　and　kissed　me；　and　a　murmur　of　pleasure　ran　through　the　ranks　of　my　panions。
Thus　relieved　of　a　grievous　load；　I　from　that　hour　set　to　work　afresh；　resolved　to　pioneer　my　way　through　every　difficulty：　I　toiled　hard；　and　my　success　was　proportionate　to　my　efforts；　my　memory；　not　naturally　tenacious；　improved　with　practice；　exercise　sharpened　my　wits；　in　a　few　weeks　I　was　promoted　to　a　higher　class；　in　less　than　two　months　I　was　allowed　to　mence　French　and　drawing。　I　learned　the　first　two　tenses　of　the　verb　etre；　and　sketched　my　first　cottage　（whose　walls；　by…the…bye；　outrivalled　in　slope　those　of　the　leaning　tower　of　Pisa）；　on　the　same　day。　That　night；　on　going　to　bed；　I　forgot　to　prepare　in　imagination　the　Barmecide　supper　of　hot　roast　potatoes；　or　white　bread　and　new　milk；　with　which　I　was　wont　to　amuse　my　inward　cravings：　I　feasted　instead　on　the　spectacle　of　ideal　drawings；　which　I　saw　in　the　dark；　all　the　work　of　my　own　hands：　freely　pencilled　houses　and　trees；　picturesque　rocks　and　ruins；　Cuyp…like　groups　of　cattle；　sweet　paintings　of　butterflies　hovering　over　unblown　roses；　of　birds　picking　at　ripe　cherries；　of　wren’s　nests　enclosing　pearl…like　eggs；　wreathed　about　with　young　ivy　sprays。　I　examined；　too；　in　thought；　the　possibility　of　my　ever　being　able　to　translate　currently　a　certain　little　French　story　which　Madame　Pierrot　had　that　day　shown　me；　nor　was　that　problem　solved　to　my　satisfaction　ere　I　fell　sweetly　asleep。
Well　has　Solomon　said—“Better　is　a　dinner　of　herbs　where　love　is；　than　a　stalled　ox　and　hatred　therewith。”
I　would　not　now　have　exchanged　Lowood　with　all　its　privations　for　Gateshead　and　its　daily　luxuries。
Chapter　9
But　the　privations；　or　rather　the　hardships；　of　Lowood　lessened。　Spring　drew　on：　she　was　indeed　already　e；　the　frosts　of　winter　had　ceased；　its　snows　were　melted；　its　cutting　winds　ameliorated。　My　wretched　feet；　flayed　and　swollen　to　lameness　by　the　sharp　air　of　January；　began　to　heal　and　subside　under　the　gentler　breathings　of　April；　the　nights　and　mornings　no　longer　by　their　Canadian　temperature　froze　the　very　blood　in　our　veins；　we　could　now　endure　the　play…hour　passed　in　the　garden：　sometimes　on　a　sunny　day　it　began　even　to　be　pleasant　and　genial；　and　a　greenness　grew　over　those　brown　beds；　which；　freshening　daily；　suggested　the　thought　that　Hope　traversed　them　at　night；　and　left　each　morning　brighter　traces　of　her　steps。　Flowers　peeped　out　amongst　the　leaves；　snow…drops；　crocuses；　purple　auriculas；　and　golden…eyed　pansies。　On　Thursday　afternoons　（half…holidays）　we　now　took　walks；　and　found　still　sweeter　flowers　opening　by　the　wayside；　under　the　hedges。
I　discovered；　too；　that　a　great　pleasure；　an　enjoyment　which　the　horizon　only　bounded；　lay　all　outside　the　high　and　spike…guarded　walls　of　our　garden：　this　pleasure　consisted　in　prospect　of　noble　summits　girdling　a　great　hill…hollow；　rich　in　verdure　and　shadow；　in　a　bright　beck；　full　of　dark　stones　and　sparkling　eddies。　How　different　had　this　scene　looked　when　I　viewed　it　laid　out　beneath　the　iron　sky　of　winter；　stiffened　in　frost；　shrouded　with　snow！—　when　mists　as　chill　as　death　wandered　to　the　impulse　of　east　winds　along　those　purple　peaks；　and　rolled　down　“ing”　and　holm　till　they　blended　with　the　frozen　fog　of　the　beck！　That　beck　itself　was　then　a　torrent；　turbid　and　curbless：　it　tore　asunder　the　wood；　and　sent　a　raving　sound　through　the　air；　often　thickened　with　wild　rain　or　whirling　sleet；　and　for　the　forest　on　its　banks；　that　showed　only　ranks　of　skeletons。
April　advanced　to　May：　a　bright　serene　May　it　was；　days　of　blue　sky；　placid　sunshine；　and　soft　western　or　southern　gales　filled　up　its　duration。　And　now　vegetation　matured　with　vigour；　Lowood　shook　loose　its　tresses；　it　became　all　green；　all　flowery；　its　great　elm；　ash；　and　oak　skeletons　were　restored　to　majestic　life；　woodland　plants　sprang　up　profusely　in　its　recesses；　unnumbered　varieties　of　moss　filled　its　hollows；　and　it　made　a　strange　ground…sunshine　out　of　the　wealth　of　its　wild　primrose　plants：　I　have　seen　their　pale　gold　gleam　in　overshadowed　spots　like　scatterings　of　the　sweetest　lustre。　All　this　I　enjoyed　often　and　fully；　free；　unwatched；　and　almost　alone：　for　this　unwonted　liberty　and　pleasure　there　was　a　cause；　to　which　it　now　bees　my　task　to　advert。
Have　I　not　described　a　pleasant　site　for　a　dwelling；　when　I　speak　of　it　as　bosomed　in　hill　and　wood；　and　rising　from　the　verge　of　a　stream？　Assuredly；　pleasant　enough：　but　whether　healthy　or　not　is　another　question。
That　forest…dell；　where　Lowood　lay；　was　the　cradle　of　fog　and　fog…　bred　pestilence；　which；　quickening　with　the　quickening　spring；　crept　into　the　Orphan　Asylum；　breathed　typhus　through　its　crowded　schoolroom　and　dormitory；　and；　ere　May　arrived；　transformed　the　seminary　into　an　hospital。
Semi…starvation　and　neglected　colds　had　predisposed　most　of　the　pupils　to　receive　infection：　forty…five　out　of　the　eighty　girls　lay　ill　at　one　time。　Classes　were　broken　up；　rules　relaxed。　The　few　who　continued　well　were　allowed　almost　unlimited　license；　because　the　medical　attendant　insisted　on　the　necessity　of　frequent　exercise　to　keep　them　in　health：　and　had　it　been　otherwise；　no　one　had　leisure　to　watch　or　restrain　them。　Miss　Temple’s　whole　attention　was　absorbed　by　the　patients：　she　lived　in　the　sick…room；　never　quitting　it　except　to　snatch　a　few　hours’　rest　at　night。　The　teachers　were　fully　occupied　with　packing　up　and　making　other　necessary　preparations　for　the　departure　of　those　girls　who　were　fortunate　enough　to　have　friends　and　relations　able　and　willing　to　remove　them　from　the　seat　of　contagion。　Many；　already　smitten；　went　home　only　to　die：　some　died　at　the　school；　and　were　buried　quietly　and　quickly；　the　nature　of　the　malady　forbidding　delay。
While　disease　had　thus　bee　an　inhabitant　of　Lowood；　and　death　its　frequent　visitor；　while　there　was　gloom　and　fear　within　its　walls；　while　its　rooms　and　passages　steamed　with　hospital　smells；　the　drug　and　the　pastille　striving　vainly　to　overe　the　effluvia　of　mortality；　that　bright　May　shone　unclouded　over　the　bold　hills　and　beautiful　woodland　out　of　doors。　Its　garden；　too；　glowed　with　flowers：　hollyhocks　had　sprung　up　tall　as　trees；　lilies　had　opened；　tulips　and　roses　were　in　bloom；　the　borders　of　the　little　beds　were　gay　with　pink　thrift　and　crimson　double　daisies；　the　sweetbriars　gave　out；　morning　and　evening；　their　scent　of　spice　and　apples；　and　these　fragr