简爱(英文版)-第18部分

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d　by　my　walk；—to　slip　again　over　my　faculties　the　viewless　fetters　of　an　uniform　and　too　still　existence；　of　an　existence　whose　very　privileges　of　security　and　ease　I　was　being　incapable　of　appreciating。　What　good　it　would　have　done　me　at　that　time　to　have　been　tossed　in　the　storms　of　an　uncertain　struggling　life；　and　to　have　been　taught　by　rough　and　bitter　experience　to　long　for　the　calm　amidst　which　I　now　repined！　Yes；　just　as　much　good　as　it　would　do　a　man　tired　of　sitting　still　in　a　“too　easy　chair”　to　take　a　long　walk：　and　just　as　natural　was　the　wish　to　stir；　under　my　circumstances；　as　it　would　be　under　his。
I　lingered　at　the　gates；　I　lingered　on　the　lawn；　I　paced　backwards　and　forwards　on　the　pavement；　the　shutters　of　the　glass　door　were　closed；　I　could　not　see　into　the　interior；　and　both　my　eyes　and　spirit　seemed　drawn　from　the　gloomy　house—from　the　grey…hollow　filled　with　rayless　cells；　as　it　appeared　to　me—to　that　sky　expanded　before　me；—a　blue　sea　absolved　from　taint　of　cloud；　the　moon　ascending　it　in　solemn　march；　her　orb　seeming　to　look　up　as　she　left　the　hill…tops；　from　behind　which　she　had　e；　far　and　farther　below　her；　and　aspired　to　the　zenith；　midnight　dark　in　its　fathomless　depth　and　measureless　distance；　and　for　those　trembling　stars　that　followed　her　course；　they　made　my　heart　tremble；　my　veins　glow　when　I　viewed　them。　Little　things　recall　us　to　earth；　the　clock　struck　in　the　hall；　that　sufficed；　I　turned　from　moon　and　stars；　opened　a　side…door；　and　went　in。
The　hall　was　not　dark；　nor　yet　was　it　lit；　only　by　the　high…hung　bronze　lamp；　a　warm　glow　suffused　both　it　and　the　lower　steps　of　the　oak　staircase。　This　ruddy　shine　issued　from　the　great　dining…room；　whose　two…leaved　door　stood　open；　and　showed　a　genial　fire　in　the　grate；　glancing　on　marble　hearth　and　brass　fire…irons；　and　revealing　purple　draperies　and　polished　furniture；　in　the　most　pleasant　radiance。　It　revealed；　too；　a　group　near　the　mantelpiece：　I　had　scarcely　caught　it；　and　scarcely　bee　aware　of　a　cheerful　mingling　of　voices；　amongst　which　I　seemed　to　distinguish　the　tones　of　Adèle；　when　the　door　closed。
I　hastened　to　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　room；　there　was　a　fire　there　too；　but　no　candle；　and　no　Mrs。　Fairfax。　Instead；　all　alone；　sitting　upright　on　the　rug；　and　gazing　with　gravity　at　the　blaze；　I　beheld　a　great　black　and　white　long…haired　dog；　just　like　the　Gytrash　of　the　lane。　It　was　so　like　it　that　I　went　forward　and　said—“Pilot”　and　the　thing　got　up　and　came　to　me　and　snuffed　me。　I　caressed　him；　and　he　wagged　his　great　tail；　but　he　looked　an　eerie　creature　to　be　alone　with；　and　I　could　not　tell　whence　he　had　e。　I　rang　the　bell；　for　I　wanted　a　candle；　and　I　wanted；　too；　to　get　an　account　of　this　visitant。　Leah　entered。
“What　dog　is　this？”
“He　came　with　master。”
“With　whom？”
“With　master—Mr。　Rochester—he　is　just　arrived。”
“Indeed！　and　is　Mrs。　Fairfax　with　him？”
“Yes；　and　Miss　Adèle；　they　are　in　the　dining…room；　and　John　is　gone　for　a　surgeon；　for　master　has　had　an　accident；　his　horse　fell　and　his　ankle　is　sprained。”
“Did　the　horse　fall　in　Hay　Lane？”
“Yes；　ing　down…hill；　it　slipped　on　some　ice。”
“Ah！　Bring　me　a　candle　will　you　Leah？”
Leah　brought　it；　she　entered；　followed　by　Mrs。　Fairfax；　who　repeated　the　news；　adding　that　Mr。　Carter　the　surgeon　was　e；　and　was　now　with　Mr。　Rochester：　then　she　hurried　out　to　give　orders　about　tea；　and　I　went　upstairs　to　take　off　my　things。
Chapter　13
Mr。　Rochester；　it　seems；　by　the　surgeon’s　orders；　went　to　bed　early　that　night；　nor　did　he　rise　soon　next　morning。　When　he　did　e　down；　it　was　to　attend　to　business：　his　agent　and　some　of　his　tenants　were　arrived；　and　waiting　to　speak　with　him。
Adèle　and　I　had　now　to　vacate　the　library：　it　would　be　in　daily　requisition　as　a　reception…room　for　callers。　A　fire　was　lit　in　an　apartment　upstairs；　and　there　I　carried　our　books；　and　arranged　it　for　the　future　schoolroom。　I　discerned　in　the　course　of　the　morning　that　Thornfield　Hall　was　a　changed　place：　no　longer　silent　as　a　church；　it　echoed　every　hour　or　two　to　a　knock　at　the　door；　or　a　clang　of　the　bell；　steps；　too；　often　traversed　the　hall；　and　new　voices　spoke　in　different　keys　below；　a　rill　from　the　outer　world　was　flowing　through　it；　it　had　a　master：　for　my　part；　I　liked　it　better。
Adèle　was　not　easy　to　teach　that　day；　she　could　not　apply：　she　kept　running　to　the　door　and　looking　over　the　banisters　to　see　if　she　could　get　a　glimpse　of　Mr。　Rochester；　then　she　coined　pretexts　to　go　downstairs；　in　order；　as　I　shrewdly　suspected；　to　visit　the　library；　where　I　knew　she　was　not　wanted；　then；　when　I　got　a　little　angry；　and　made　her　sit　still；　she　continued　to　talk　incessantly　of　her　“ami；　Monsieur　Edouard　Fairfax　de　Rochester；”　as　she　dubbed　him　（I　had　not　before　heard　his　prenomens）；　and　to　conjecture　what　presents　he　had　brought　her：　for　it　appears　he　had　intimated　the　night　before；　that　when　his　luggage　came　from　Millcote；　there　would　be　found　amongst　it　a　little　box　in　whose　contents　she　had　an　interest。
“Et　cela　doit　signifier；”　said　she；　“qu’il　y　aura　le　dedans　un　cadeau　pour　moi；　et　peut…être　pour　vous　aussi；　mademoiselle。　Monsieur　a　parle　de　vous：　il　m’a　demande　le　nom　de　ma　gouvernante；　et　si　elle　n’etait　pas　une　petite　personne；　assez　mince　et　un　peu　pale。　J’ai　dit　qu’oui：　car　c’est　vrai；　n’est…ce　pas；　mademoiselle？”
I　and　my　pupil　dined　as　usual　in　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　parlour；　the　afternoon　was　wild　and　snowy；　and　we　passed　it　in　the　schoolroom。　At　dark　I　allowed　Adèle　to　put　away　books　and　work；　and　to　run　downstairs；　for；　from　the　parative　silence　below；　and　from　the　cessation　of　appeals　to　the　door…bell；　I　conjectured　that　Mr。　Rochester　was　now　at　liberty。　Left　alone；　I　walked　to　the　window；　but　nothing　was　to　be　seen　thence：　twilight　and　snowflakes　together　thickened　the　air；　and　hid　the　very　shrubs　on　the　lawn。　I　let　down　the　curtain　and　went　back　to　the　fireside。
In　the　clear　embers　I　was　tracing　a　view；　not　unlike　a　picture　I　remembered　to　have　seen　of　the　castle　of　Heidelberg；　on　the　Rhine；　when　Mrs。　Fairfax　came　in；　breaking　up　by　her　entrance　the　fiery　mosaic　I　had　been　piercing　together；　and　scattering　too　some　heavy　unwele　thoughts　that　were　beginning　to　throng　on　my　solitude。
“Mr。　Rochester　would　be　glad　if　you　and　your　pupil　would　take　tea　with　him　in　the　drawing…room　this　evening；”　said　she：　“he　has　been　so　much　engaged　all　day　that　he　could　not　ask　to　see　you　before。”
“When　is　his　tea…time？”　I　inquired。
“Oh；　at　six　o’clock：　he　keeps　early　hours　in　the　country。　You　had　better　change　your　frock　now；　I　will　go　with　you　and　fasten　it。　Here　is　a　candle。”
“Is　it　necessary　to　change　my　frock？”
“Yes；　you　had　better：　I　always　dress　for　the　evening　when　Mr。　Rochester　is　here。”
This　additional　ceremony　seemed　somewhat　stately；　however；　I　repaired　to　my　room；　and；　with　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　aid；　replaced　my　black　stuff　dress　by　one　of　black　silk；　the　best　and　the　only　additional　one　I　had；　except　one　of　light　grey；　which；　in　my　Lowood　notions　of　the　toilette；　I　thought　too　fine　to　be　worn；　except　on　first…rate　occasions。
“You　want　a　brooch；”　said　Mrs。　Fairfax。　I　had　a　single　little　pearl　ornament　which　Miss　Temple　gave　me　as　a　parting　keepsake：　I　put　it　on；　and　then　we　went　downstairs。　Unused　as　I　was　to　strangers；　it　was　rather　a　trial　to　appear　thus　formally　summoned　in　Mr。　Rochester’s　presence。　I　let　Mrs。　Fairfax　precede　me　into　the　dining…room；　and　kept　in　her　shade　as　we　crossed　that　apartment；　and；　passing　the　arch；　whose　curtain　was　now　dropped；　entered　the　elegant　recess　beyond。
Two　wax　candles　stood　lighted　on　the　table；　and　two　on　the　mantelpiece；　basking　in　the　light　and　heat　of　a　superb　fire；　lay　Pilot—Adèle　knelt　near　him。　Half　reclined　on　a　couch　appeared　Mr。　Rochester；　his　foot　supported　by　the　cushion；　he　was　looking　at　Adèle　and　the　dog：　the　fire　shone　full　on　his　face。　I　knew　my　traveller　with　his　broad　and　jetty　eyebroade　squarer　by　the　horizontal　sweep　of　his　black　hair。　I　recognised　his　decisive　nose；　more　remarkable　for　character　than　beauty；　his　full　nostrils；　denoting；　I　thought；　choler；　his　grim　mouth；　chin；　and　jaw—yes；　all　three　were　very　grim；　and　no　mistake。　His　shape；　now　divested　of　cloak；　I　perceived　harmonised　in　squareness　with　his　physiognomy：　I　suppose　it　was　a　good　figure　in　the　athletic　sense　of　the　term—broad　chested　and　thin　flanked；　though　neither　tall　nor　graceful。
Mr。　Rochester　must　have　been　aware　of　the　entrance　of　Mrs。　Fairfax　and　myself；　but　it　appeared　he　was　not　in　the　mood　to　notice　us；　for　he　never　lifted　his　head　as　we　approached。
“Here　is　Miss　Eyre；　sir；”　said　Mrs。　Fairfax；　in　her　quiet　way。　He　bowed；　still　not　taking　his　eyes　from　the　group　of　the　dog　and　child。
“Let　Miss　Eyre　be　seated；”　said　he：　and　there　was　something　in　the　forced　stiff　bow；　in　the　impatient　yet　formal　tone；　which　seemed　further　to　express；　“What　the　deuce　is　it　to　me　whether　Miss　Eyre　be　there　or　not？　At　this　moment　I　am　not　disposed　to　accost　her。”
I　sat　dobarrassed。　A　reception　of　finished　politeness　would　probably　have　confused　me：　I　could　not　have　returned　or　repaid　it　by　answering　grace　and　elegance　on　my　part；　but　harsh　caprice　laid　me　under　no　obligation；　on　the　contrary；　a　decent　quiescence；　under　the　freak　of　manner；　gave　me　the　advantage。　Besides；　the　eccentricity　of　the　proceeding　was　piquant：　I　felt　interested　to　see　how　he　would　go　on。
He　went　on　as　a　statue　would；　that　is；　he　neither　spoke　nor　moved。　Mrs。　Fairfax　seemed　to　think　it　necessary　that　some　one　should　be　amiable；　and　she　began　to　talk。　Kindly；　as　usual—and；　as　usual；　rather　trite—she　condoled　with　him　on　the　pressure　of　business　he　had　had　all　day；　on　the　annoyance　it　must　have　been　to　him　with　that　painful　sprain：　then　she　mended　his　patience　and　perseverance　in　going　through　with　it。
“Madam；　I　should　like　some　tea；”　was　the　sole　rejoinder　she　got。　She　hastened　to　ring　the　bell；　and　when　the　tray　came；　she　proceeded　to　arrange　the　cups；　spoons；　&c。；　with　assiduous　celerity。　I　and　Adèle　went　to　the　table；　but　the　master　did　not　leave　his　couch。
“Will　you　hand　Mr。　Rochester’s　cup？”　said　Mrs。　Fairfax　to　me；　“Adèle　might　perhaps　spill　it。”
I　did　as　requested。　As　he　took　the　cup　from　my　hand；　Adèle；　thinking　the　moment　propitious　for　making　a　request　in　my　favour；　cried　out—
“N’est…ce　pas；　monsieur；　qu’il　y　a　un　cadeau　pour　Mademoiselle　Eyre　dans　votre　petit　coffre？”
“Who　talks　of　cadeaux？”　said　he　gruffly。　“Did　you　expect　a　present；　Miss　Eyre？　Are　you　fond　of　presents？”　and　he　searched　my　face　with　eyes　that　I　saw　were　dark；　irate；　and　piercing。
“I　hardly　know；　sir；　I　have　little　experience　of　them：　they　are　generally　thought　pleasant　things。”
“Generally　thought？　But　what　do　you　think？”
“I　should　be　obliged　to　take　time；　sir；　before　I　could　give　you　an　answer　worthy　of　your　acceptance：　a　present　has　many　faces　to　it；　has　it　not？　and　one　should　consider　all；　before　pronouncing　an　opinion　as　to　its　nature。”
“Miss　Eyre；　you　are　not　so　unsophisticated　as　Adèle：　she　demands　a　‘cadeau；’　clamorously；　the　moment　she　sees　me：　you　beat　about　the　bush。”
“Because　I　have　less　confidence　in　my　deserts　than　Adèle　has：　she　can　prefer　the　claim　of　old　acquaintance；　and　the　right　too　of　custom；　for　she　says　you　have　always　been　in　the　habit　of　giving　her　playthings；　but　if　I　had　to　make　out　a　case　I　should　be　puzzled；　since　I　am　a　stranger；　and　have　done　nothing　to　entitle　me　to　an　acknowledgment。”
“Oh；　don’t　fall　back　on　over…modesty！　I　have　examined　Adèle；　and　find　you　have　taken　great　pains　with　her：　she　is　not　bright；　she　has　no　talents；　yet　in　a　short　time　she　has　made　much　improvement。”
“Sir；　you　have　now　given　me　my　‘cadeau；’　I　am　obliged　to　you：　it　is　the　meed　teachers　most　covet—praise　of　their　pupils’　progress。”
“Humph！”　said　Mr。　Rochester；　and　he　took　his　tea　in　silence。
“e　to　the　fire；”　said　the　master；　when　the　tray　was　taken　away；　and　Mrs。　Fairfax　had　settled　into　a　corner　with　her　knitting；　while　Adèle　was　leading　me　by　the　hand　round　the　room；　showing　me　the　beautiful　books　and　ornaments　on　the　consoles　and　chiffonnieres。　We　obeyed；　as　in　duty　bound；　Adèle　wanted　to　take　a　seat　on　my　knee；　but　she　was　ordered　to　amuse　herself　with　Pilot。
“You　have　been　resident　in　my　house　three　months？”
“Yes；　sir。”
“And　you　came　from—？”
“From　Lowood　school；　in—shire。”
“Ah！　a　charitable　concern。　How　long　were　you　there？”
“Eight　years。”
“Eight　years！　you　must　be　tenacious　of　life。　I　thought　half　the　time　in　such　a　place　would　have　done　up　any　constitution！　No　wonder　you　have　rather　the　look　of　another　world。　I　marvelled　where　you　had　got　that　sort　of　face。　When　you　came　on　me　in　Hay　Lane　last　night；　I　thought　unaccountably　of　fairy　tales；　and　had　half　a　mind　to　demand　whether　you　had　bewitched　my　horse：　I　am　not　sure　yet。　Who　are　your　parents？”
“I　have　none。”
“Nor　ever　had；　I　suppose：　do　you　remember　them？”
“No。”
“I　thought　not。　And　so　you　were　waiting　for　your　people　when　you　sat　on　that　stile？”
“For　whom；　sir？”
“For　the　men　in　green：　it　was　a　proper　moonlight　evening　for　them。　Did　I　break　through　one　of　your　rings；　that　you　spread　that　damned　ice　on　the　causeway？”
I　shook　my　head。　“The　men　in　green　all　forsook　England　a　hundred　years　ago；”　said　I；　speaking　as　seriously　as　he　had　done。　“And　not　even　in　Hay　Lane；　or　the　fields　about　it；　could　you　find　a　trace　of　them。　I　don’t　think　either　summer　or　harvest；　or　winter　moon；　will　ever　shine　on　their　revels　more。”
Mrs。　Fairfax　had　dropped　her　knitting；　and；　with　raised　eyebrows；　seemed　wondering　what　sort　of　talk　this　was。
“Well；”　resumed　Mr。　Rochester；　“if　you　disown　parents；　you　must　have　some　sort　of　kinsfolk：　uncles　and　aunts？”
“No；　none　that　I　ever　saw。”
“And　your　home？”
“I　have　none。”
“Where　do　your　brothers　and　sisters　live？”
“I　have　no　brothers　or　sisters。”
“Who　remended　you　to　e　here？”
“I　advertised；　and　Mrs。　Fairfax　answered　my　advertisement。”
“Yes；”　said　the　good　lady；　who　now　knew　what　ground　we　were　upon；　“and　I　am　daily　thankful　for　the　choice　Providence　led　me　to　make。　Miss　Eyre　has　been　an　invaluable　panion　to　me；　and　a　kind　and　careful　teacher　to　Adèle。”
“Don’t　trouble　yourself　to　give　her　a　character；”　returned　Mr。　Rochester：　“eulogiums　will　not　bias　me；　I　shall　judge　for　myself。　She　began　by　felling　my　horse。”
“Sir？”　said　Mrs。　Fairfax。
“I　have　to　thank　her　for　this　sprain。”
The　widow　looked　bewildered。
“Miss　Eyre；　have　you　ever　lived　in　a　town？”
“No；　sir。”
“Have　you　seen　much　society？”
“None　but　the　pupils　and　teachers　of　Lowood；　and　now　the　inmates　of　Thornfield。”
“Have　you　read　much？”
“Only　such　books　as　came　in　my　way；　and　they　have　not　been　numerous　or　very　learned。”
“You　have　lived　the　life　of　a　nun：　no　doubt　you　are　well　drilled　in　religious　forms；—Brocklehurst；　who　I　understand　directs　Lowood；　is　a　parson；　is　he　not？”
“Yes；　sir。”
“And　you　girls　probably　worshipped　him；　as　a　convent　full　of　religieuses　would　worship　their　director。”
“Oh；　no。”
“You　are　very　cool！　No！　What！　a　novice　not　worship　her　priest！　That　sounds　blasphemous。”
“I　disliked　Mr。　Brocklehurst；　and　I　was　not　alone　in　the　feeling。　He　is　a　harsh　man；　at　once　pompous　and　meddling；　he　cut　off　our　hair；　and　for　economy’s　sake　bought　us　bad　needles　and　thread；