简爱(英文版)-第40部分

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“Let　me　go；—let　me　go　to　Millcote　too！”　she　cried。　“Mr。　Rochester　won’t：　though　there　is　so　much　room　in　the　new　carriage。　Beg　him　to　let　me　go　mademoiselle。”
“That　I　will；　Adèle；”　and　I　hastened　away　onitress。　The　carriage　was　ready：　they　were　bringing　it　round　to　the　front；　and　my　master　was　the　pavement；　Pilot　following　him　backwards　and　forwards。
“Adèle　may　acpany　us；　may　she　not；　sir？”
“I　told　her　no。　I’ll　have　no　brats！—I’ll　have　only　you。”
“Do　let　her　go；　Mr。　Rochester；　if　you　please：　it　would　be　better。”
“Not　it：　she　will　be　a　restraint。”
He　ptory；　both　in　look　and　voice。　The　chill　of　Mrs。　Fairfax’s　warnings；　and　the　damp　of　her　doubts　were　upon　me：　something　of　unsubstantiality　and　uncertainty　had　beset　my　hopes。　I　half　lost　the　sense　of　power　over　him。　I　was　about　mechanically　to　obey　him；　without　further　remonstrance；　but　as　he　helped　me　into　the　carriage；　he　looked　at　my　face。
“What　is　the　matter？”　he　asked；　“all　the　sunshine　is　gone。　Do　you　really　wish　the　bairn　to　go？　Will　it　annoy　you　if　she　is　left　behind？”
“I　would　far　rather　she　went；　sir。”
“Then　off　for　your　bon；　and　back　like　a　flash　of　lightning！”　cried　he　to　Adèle。
She　obeyed　him　with　what　speed　she　might。
“After　all；　a　single　morning’s　interruption　will　not　matter　much；”　said　he；　“when　I　mean　shortly　to　claim　you—your　thoughts；　conversation；　and　pany—for　life。”
Adèle；　when　lifted　in；　menced　kissing　me；　by　way　of　expressing　her　gratitude　for　my　intercession：　she　was　instantly　stowed　away　into　a　corner　on　the　other　side　of　him。　She　then　peeped　round　to　where　I　sat；　so　stern　a　neighbour　was　too　restrictive　to　him；　in　his　present　fractious　mood；　she　dared　whisper　no　observations；　nor　ask　of　him　any　information。
“Let　her　e　to　me；”　I　entreated：　“she　will；　perhaps；　trouble　you；　sir：　there　is　plenty　of　room　on　this　side。”
He　handed　her　over　as　if　she　had　been　a　lapdog。　“I’ll　send　her　to　school　yet；”　he　said；　but　now　he　was　smiling。
Adèle　heard　him；　and　asked　if　she　was　to　go　to　school　“sans　mademoiselle？”
“Yes；”　he　replied；　“absolutely　sans　mademoiselle；　for　I　am　to　take　mademoiselle　to　the　moon；　and　there　I　shall　seek　a　cave　in　one　of　the　white　valleys　among　the　volcano…tops；　and　mademoiselle　shall　live　with　me　there；　and　only　me。”
“She　will　have　nothing　to　eat：　you　will　starve　her；”　observed　Adèle。
“I　shall　gather　manna　for　her　morning　and　night：　the　plains　and　hillsides　in　the　moon　are　bleached　with　manna；　Adèle。”
“She　will　want　to　warm　herself：　what　will　she　do　for　a　fire？”
“Fire　rises　out　of　the　lunar　mountains：　when　she　is　cold；　I’ll　carry　her　up　to　a　peak；　and　lay　her　down　on　the　edge　of　a　crater。”
“Oh；　qu’　elle　y　sera　mal—peu　fortable！　And　her　clothes；　they　will　wear　out：　how　can　she　get　new　ones？”
Mr。　Rochester　professed　to　be　puzzled。　“Hem！”　said　he。　“What　would　you　do；　Adèle？　Cudgel　your　brains　for　an　expedient。　How　would　a　white　or　a　pink　cloud　answer　for　a　gown；　do　you　think？　And　one　could　cut　a　pretty　enough　scarf　out　of　a　rainbow。”
“She　is　far　better　as　she　is；”　concluded　Adèle；　after　musing　some　time：　“besides；　she　would　get　tired　of　living　with　only　you　in　the　moon。　If　I　were　mademoiselle；　I　would　never　consent　to　go　with　you。”
“She　has　consented：　she　has　pledged　her　word。”
“But　you　can’t　get　her　there；　there　is　no　road　to　the　moon：　it　is　all　air；　and　neither　you　nor　she　can　fly。”
“Adèle；　look　at　that　field。”　We　were　now　outside　Thornfield　gates；　and　bowling　lightly　along　the　smooth　road　to　Millcote；　where　the　dust　was　well　laid　by　the　thunderstorm；　and；　where　the　low　hedges　and　lofty　timber　trees　on　each　side　glistened　green　and　rain…　refreshed。
“In　that　field；　Adèle；　I　was　walking　late　one　evening　about　a　fortnight　since—the　evening　of　the　day　you　helped　me　to　make　hay　in　the　orchard　meadows；　and；　as　I　was　tired　with　raking　swaths；　I　sat　down　to　rest　me　on　a　stile；　and　there　I　took　out　a　little　book　and　a　pencil；　and　began　to　write　about　a　misfortune　that　befell　me　long　ago；　and　a　wish　I　had　for　happy　days　to　e：　I　was　writing　away　very　fast；　though　daylight　was　fading　from　the　leaf；　when　something　came　up　the　path　and　stopped　two　yards　off　me。　I　looked　at　it。　It　was　a　little　thing　with　a　veil　of　gossamer　on　its　head。　I　beckoned　it　to　e　near　me；　it　stood　soon　at　my　knee。　I　never　spoke　to　it；　and　it　never　spoke　to　me；　in　words；　but　I　read　its　eyes；　and　it　read　mine；　and　our　speechless　colloquy　was　to　this　effect—
“It　was　a　fairy；　and　e　from　Elf…land；　it　said；　and　its　errand　was　to　make　me　happy：　I　must　go　with　it　out　of　the　mon　world　to　a　lonely　place—such　as　the　moon；　for　instance—and　it　nodded　its　head　towards　her　horn；　rising　over　Hay…hill：　it　told　me　of　the　alabaster　cave　and　silver　vale　where　we　might　live。　I　said　I　should　like　to　go；　but　reminded　it；　as　you　did　me；　that　I　had　no　wings　to　fly。
“‘Oh；’　returned　the　fairy；　‘that　does　not　signify！　Here　is　a　talisman　will　remove　all　difficulties；’　and　she　held　out　a　pretty　gold　ring。　‘Put　it；’　she　said；　‘on　the　fourth　finger　of　my　left　hand；　and　I　am　yours；　and　you　are　mine；　and　we　shall　leave　earth；　and　make　our　own　heaven　yonder。’　She　nodded　again　at　the　moon。　The　ring；　Adèle；　is　in　my　breeches…pocket；　under　the　disguise　of　a　sovereign：　but　I　mean　soon　to　change　it　to　a　ring　again。”
“But　what　has　mademoiselle　to　do　with　it？　I　don’t　care　for　the　fairy：　you　said　it　was　mademoiselle　you　would　take　to　the　moon？”
“Mademoiselle　is　a　fairy；”　he　said；　whispering　mysteriously。　Whereupon　I　told　her　not　to　mind　his　badinage；　and　she；　on　her　part；　evinced　a　fund　of　genuine　French　scepticism：　denominating　Mr。　Rochester　“un　vrai　menteur；”　and　assuring　him　that　she　made　no　account　whatever　of　his　“contes　de　fee；”　and　that　“du　reste；　il　n’y　avait　pas　de　fées；　et　quand　meme　il　y　en　avait：”　she　was　sure　they　would　never　appear　to　him；　nor　ever　give　him　rings；　or　offer　to　live　with　him　in　the　moon。
The　hour　spent　at　Millcote　was　a　somewhat　harassing　one　to　me。　Mr。　Rochester　obliged　me　to　go　to　a　certain　silk　warehouse：　there　I　was　ordered　to　choose　half…a…dozen　dresses。　I　hated　the　business；　I　begged　leave　to　defer　it：　no—it　should　be　gone　through　with　now。　By　dint　of　entreaties　expressed　in　energetic　whispers；　I　reduced　the　half…dozen　to　two：　these　however；　he　vowed　he　would　select　himself。　With　anxiety　I　watched　his　eye　rove　over　the　gay　stores：　he　fixed　on　a　rich　silk　of　the　most　brilliant　amethyst　dye；　and　a　superb　pink　satin。　I　told　him　in　a　new　series　of　whispers；　that　he　might　as　well　buy　me　a　gold　gown　and　a　silver　bon　at　once：　I　should　certainly　never　venture　to　wear　his　choice。　With　infinite　difficulty；　for　he　was　stubborn　as　a　stone；　I　persuaded　him　to　make　an　exchange　in　favour　of　a　sober　black　satin　and　pearl…grey　silk。　“It　might　pass　for　the　present；”　he　said；　“but　he　would　yet　see　me　glittering　like　a　parterre。”
Glad　was　I　to　get　him　out　of　the　silk　warehouse；　and　then　out　of　a　jewellers　shop：　the　more　he　bought　me；　the　more　my　cheek　burned　with　a　sense　of　annoyance　and　degradation。　As　we　re…entered　the　carriage；　and　I　sat　back　feverish　and　fagged；　I　remembered　what；　in　the　hurry　of　events；　dark　and　bright；　I　had　wholly　forgotten—the　letter　of　my　uncle；　John　Eyre；　to　Mrs。　Reed：　his　intention　to　adopt　me　and　make　me　his　legatee。　“It　would；　indeed；　be　a　relief；”　I　thought；　“if　I　had　ever　so　small　an　independency；　I　never　can　bear　being　dressed　like　a　doll　by　Mr。　Rochester；　or　sitting　like　a　second　Danae　with　the　golden　shower　falling　daily　round　me。　I　will　write　to　Madeira　the　moment　I　get　home；　and　tell　my　uncle　John　I　am　going　to　be　married；　and　to　whom：　if　I　had　but　a　prospect　of　one　day　bringing　Mr。　Rochester　an　accession　of　fortune；　I　could　better　endure　to　be　kept　by　him　now。”　And　somewhat　relieved　by　this　idea　（which　I　failed　not　to　execute　that　day）；　I　ventured　once　more　to　meet　my　master’s　and　lover’s　eye；　which　most　pertinaciously　sought　mine；　though　I　averted　both　face　and　gaze。　He　smiled；　and　I　thought　his　smile　was　such　as　a　sultan　might；　in　a　blissful　and　fond　moment；　bestow　on　a　slave　his　gold　and　gems　had　enriched：　I　crushed　his　hand；　which　was　ever　hunting　mine；　vigorously；　and　thrust　it　back　to　him　red　with　the　passionate　pressure。
“You　need　not　look　in　that　way；”　I　said；　“if　you　do；　I’ll　wear　nothing　but　my　old　Lowood　frocks　to　the　end　of　the　chapter。　I’ll　be　married　in　this　lilac　gingham：　you　may　make　a　dressing…gown　for　yourself　out　of　the　pearl…grey　silk；　and　an　infinite　series　of　waistcoats　out　of　the　black　satin。”
He　chuckled；　he　rubbed　his　hands。　“Oh；　it　is　rich　to　see　and　hear　her？”　he　exclaimed。　“Is　she　original？　Is　she　piquant？　I　would　not　exchange　this　one　little　English　girl　for　the　Grand　Turk’s　whole　seraglio；　gazelle…eyes；　houri　forms；　and　all！”
The　Eastern　allusion　bit　me　again。　“I’ll　not　stand　you　an　inch　in　the　stead　of　a　seraglio；”　I　said；　“so　don’t　consider　me　an　equivalent　for　one。　If　you　have　a　fancy　for　anything　in　that　line；　away　with　you；　sir；　to　the　bazaars　of　Stamboul　without　delay；　and　lay　out　in　extensive　slave…purchases　some　of　that　spare　cash　you　seem　at　a　loss　to　spend　satisfactorily　here。”
“And　what　will　you　do；　Ja；　while　I　am　bargaining　for　so　many　tons　of　flesh　and　such　an　assortment　of　black　eyes？”
“I’ll　be　preparing　myself　to　go　out　as　a　missionary　to　preach　liberty　to　them　that　are　enslaved—your　harem　inmates　amongst　the　rest。　I’ll　get　admitted　there；　and　I’ll　stir　up　mutiny；　and　you；　three…tailed　bashaw　as　you　are；　sir；　shall　in　a　trice　find　yourself　fettered　amongst　our　hands：　nor　will　I；　for　one；　consent　to　cut　your　bonds　till　you　have　signed　a　charter；　the　most　liberal　that　despot　ever　yet　conferred。”
“I　would　consent　to　be　at　your　mercy；　Jane。”
“I　would　have　no　mercy；　Mr。　Rochester；　if　you　supplicated　for　it　with　an　eye　like　that。　While　you　looked　so；　I　should　be　certain　that　whatever　charter　you　might　grant　under　coercion；　your　first　act；　when　released；　would　be　to　violate　its　conditions。”
“Why；　Jane；　what　would　you　have？　I　fear　you　will　pel　me　to　go　through　a　private　marriage　ceremony；　besides　that　performed　at　the　altar。　You　will　stipulate；　I　see；　for　peculiar　terms—what　will　they　be？”
“I　only　want　an　easy　mind；　sir；　not　crushed　by　crowded　obligations。　Do　you　remember　what　you　said　of　Céline　Varens？—of　the　diamonds；　the　cashmeres　you　gave　her？　I　will　not　be　your　English　Céline　Varens。　I　shall　continue　to　act　as　Adèle’s　governess；　by　that　I　shall　earn　my　board　and　lodging；　and　thirty　pounds　a　year　besides。　I’ll　furnish　my　own　wardrobe　out　of　that　money；　and　you　shall　give　me　nothing　but—”
“Well；　but　what？”
“Your　regard；　and　if　I　give　you　mine　in　return；　that　debt　will　be　quit。”
“Well；　for　cool　native　impudence　and　pure　innate　pride；　you　haven’t　your　equal；”　said　he。　We　were　now　approaching　Thornfield。　“Will　it　please　you　to　dine　with　me　to…day？”　he　asked；　as　we　re…entered　the　gates。
“No；　thank　you；　sir。”
“And　what　for；　‘no；　thank　you？’　if　one　may　inquire。”
“I　never　have　dined　with　you；　sir：　and　I　see　no　reason　why　I　should　now：　till—”
“Till　what？　You　delight　in　half…phrases。”
“Till　I　can’t　help　it。”
“Do　you　suppose　I　eat　like　an　ogre　or　a　ghoul；　that　you　dread　being　the　panion　of　my　repast？”
“I　have　formed　no　supposition　on　the　subject；　sir；　but　I　want　to　go　on　as　usual　for　another　month。”
“You　will　give　up　your　governessing　slavery　at　once。”
“Indeed；　begging　your　pardon；　sir；　I　shall　not。　I　shall　just　go　on　with　it　as　usual。　I　shall　keep　out　of　your　way　all　day；　as　I　have　been　accustomed　to　do：　you　may　send　for　me　in　the　evening；　when　you　feel　disposed　to　see　me；　and　I’ll　e　then；　but　at　no　other　time。”
“I　want　a　smoke；　Jane；　or　a　pinch　of　snuff；　to　fort　me　under　all　this；　‘pour　me　donner　une　contenance；’　as　Adèle　would　say；　and　unfortunately　I　have　neither　my　cigar…case；　nor　my　snuff…box。　But　listen—whisper。　It　is　your　time　now；　little　tyrant；　but　it　will　be　mine　presently；　and　when　once　I　have　fairly　seized　you；　to　have　and　to　hold；　I’ll　just—figuratively　speaking—attach　you　to　a　chain　like　this”　（touching　his　watch…guard）。　“Yes；　bonny　wee　thing；　I’ll　wear　you　in　my　bosom；　lest　my　jewel　I　should　tyne。”
He　said　this　as　he　helped　me　to　alight　from　the　carriage；　and　while　he　afterwards　lifted　out　Adèle；　I　entered　the　house；　and　made　good　my　retreat　upstairs。
He　duly　summoned　me　to　his　presence　in　the　evening。　I　had　prepared　an　occupation　for　him；　for　I　was　determined　not　to　spend　the　whole　time　in　a　tête…à…tête　conversation。　I　remembered　his　fine　voice；　I　knew　he　liked　to　sing—good　singers　generally　do。　I　was　no　vocalist　myself；　and；　in　his　fastidious　judgment；　no　musician；　either；　but　I　delighted　in　listening　when　the　performance　was　good。　No　sooner　had　twilight；　that　hour　of　romance；　began　to　lower　her　blue　and　starry　banner　over　the　lattice；　than　I　rose；　opened　the　piano；　and　entreated　him；　for　the　love　of　heaven；　to　give　me　a　song。　He　said　I　was　a　capricious　witch；　and　that　he　would　rather　sing　another　time；　but　I　averred　that　no　time　was　like　the　present。
“Did　I　like　his　voice？”　he　asked。
“Very　much。”　I　was　not　fond　of　pampering　that　susceptible　vanity　of　his；　but　for　once；　and　from　motives　of　expediency；　I　would　e’en　soothe　and　stimulate　it。
“Then；　Jane；　you　must　play　the　acpaniment。”
“Very　well；　sir；　I　will　try。”
I　did　try；　but　was　presently　swept　off　the　stool　and　denominated　“a　little　bungler。”　Being　pushed　unceremoniously　to　one　side—which　was　precisely　what　I　wished—he　usurped　my　place；　and　proceeded　to　acpany　himself：　for　he　could　play　as　well　as　sing。　I　hied　me　to　the　window…recess。　And　while　I　sat　there　and　looked　out　on　the　still　trees　and　dim　lawn；　to　a　sweet　air　was　sung　in　mellow　tones　the　following　strain：—
“The　truest　love　that　ever　heart
Felt　at　its　kindled　core；
Did　through　each　vein；　in　quickened　start；
The　tide　of　being　pour。
Her　ing　was　my　hope　each　day；
Her　parting　was　my　pain；
The　chance　that　did　her　steps　delay
Was　ice　in　every　vein。
I　dreamed　it　would　be　nameless　bliss；
As　I　loved；　loved　to　be；
And　to　this　object　did　I　press
As　blind　as　eagerly。
But　wide　as　pathless　was　the　space
That　lay　our　lives　between；
And　dangerous　as　the　foamy　race
Of　ocean…surges　green。
And　haunted　as　a　robber…path
Through　wilderness　or　wood；
For　Might　and　Right；　and　Woe　and　Wrath；
Between　our　spirits　stood。
I　dangers　dared；　I　hindrance　scorned；
I　omens　did　defy：
Whatever　menaced；　harassed；　warned；
I　passed　impetuous　by。
On　sped　my　rainbow；　fast　as　light；
I　flew　as　in　a　dream；
For　glorious　rose　upon　my　sight
That　child　of　Shower　and　Gleam。
Still　bright　on　clouds　of　suffering　dim
Shines　that　soft；　solemn　joy；
Nor　care　I　now；　how　dense　and　grim
Disasters　gather　nigh。
I　care　not　in　this　moment　sweet；
Though　all　I　have　rushed　o’er
Should　e　on　pinion；　strong　and　fleet；
Proclaiming　vengeance　sore：
Though　haughty　Hate　should　strike　me　down；
Right；　bar　approach　to　me；
And　grinding　Might；　with　furious　frown；
Swear　endless　enmity。
My　love　has　placed　her　little　hand
With　noble　faith　in　mine；
And　vowed　that　wedlock’s　sacred　band
Our　nature　shall　entwine。
My　love　has　sworn；　with　sealing　kiss；
With　me　to　live—to　die；
I　have　at　last　my　nameless　bliss。
As　I　love—loved　am　I！”
He　rose　and　came　towards　me；　and　I　saw　his　face　all　kindled；　and　his　f