嗔秤戻幣�哉膵�云利匈嬉蝕湊蛸賜�塋床四衲���萩晦編報炎嘔囚^泡仟 ̄云利匈��
源平慎弌傍利 卦指云慕朕村 紗秘慕禰 厘議慕尺 厘議慕禰 TXT畠云和墮 〆辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂〇

my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕-及35何蛍

酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��


openly  to  my  predicament�察 �pay  them  off�察 �cross  the  Bosphorus  with  them  to 
the ┨sk┨dar side�察�arrange for the judge�察�making certain that his proxy will sit 
in for him so the divorce might be granted by virtue of the witnesses�察�register 
the  divorce  in  the  judge¨s  ledger�察 �obtain  a  certificate  testifying  to  the 
proceeding�察 �obtain  written  permission  for  my  immediate  remarriage�察 �and  if 
you can acplish all of this and get back to this side of the Bosphorus by the 
afternoon�察 �then!assuming  no  difficulty  in  finding  a  preacher  who  might 
marry us this evening!then�察�as my husband�察�you could spend this night with 
me and my children。 Thereby�察�you¨ll also spare us a sleepless night of hearing 
in every creaking of the house the steps of that devilish murderer。 Moreover�察�
you¨ll  save  me  from  the  wretchedness  of  being  a  poor  unprotected  woman 
when we announce the death of my father in the morning。 ̄ 
^Yes�察院�said Black with good humor and somewhat childishly。 ^Yes。 I agree to 
make you mine。 ̄ 
You  remember  how  only  recently  I  declared  I  didn¨t  know  why  I  was 
speaking to Black in such a high´handed and insincere manner。 Now I know�此�
I¨ve  e  to  realize  that  only  by  assuming  such  a  tone  might  I  convince 
Black!who has yet to outgrow his childhood muddle´headedness!to believe 
in the possibility of events that even I have a hard time believing will e to 
pass。 
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^We have a lot to do in fighting our enemies�察�those who would obstruct the 
pletion of my father¨s book and those who could contest my divorce and 
our marriage ceremony!which will be performed tonight�察�God willing。 But I 
suppose  I  shouldn¨t  further  confuse  you�察 �since  you  are  already  even  more 
confused than I。 ̄ 
^You aren¨t confused at all�察院�said Black。 
^Perhaps�察�but only because these aren¨t my own ideas�察�I learned them from 
my  father  over  the  years。 ̄  I  said  this  so  he  wouldn¨t  dismiss  what  I  said�察�
assuming that these plans had sprung from my feminine mind。 
Next�察�Black said what I¨d heard from every man who wasn¨t afraid to admit 
he found me very intelligent�此�
^You¨re very beautiful。 ̄ 
^Yes�察院�I said�察 �it pleases me to be praised for my intelligence。 When I was a 
child�察�my father would often do so。 ̄ 
I was about to add that once I¨d grown up my father ceased to praise my 
intelligence�察�but I began to weep。 As I cried�察�it was as if I¨d left myself and was 
being  another�察 �entirely  separate  woman。  Like  some  reader  troubled  by  a 
sad picture in the pages of a book�察�I saw my life from the outside and pitied 
what  I  saw。  There¨s  something  so  innocent  in  crying  over  one¨s  troubles�察 �as 
though  they  were  another¨s�察 �that  when  Black  embraced  me�察 �a  sense  of  well´
being spread over us both。 Yet�察�this time�察�as we hugged�察�this sense of fort 
remained there between us�察�unable to affect the adversaries circling us。 
 
 
   
212 
 
I AM CALLED BLACK 
 
Widowed�察�abandoned and aggrieved�察�my beloved Shekure fled with featherlike 
steps�察�and I stood as if stunned in the stillness of the house of the Hanged Jew�察�
amid the aroma of almonds and dreams of marriage she¨d left in her wake。 I 
was  bewildered�察 �but  my  mind  was  churning  so  fast  it  almost  hurt。  Without 
even  a  chance  to  grieve  properly  over  my  Enishte¨s  death�察 �I  swiftly  returned 
home。 On the one hand�察�a worm of doubt was gnawing at me�此�Was Shekure 
using  me  as  a  pawn  in  a  grand  scheme�察 �was  she  duping  me�拭 �On  the  other 
hand�察�fantasies of a blissful marriage stubbornly played before my eyes。 
After  making  conversation  with  my  landlady  who  interrogated  me  at  the 
front  door  as  to  where  I¨d  gone  and  whence  I  was  ing  at  this  morning 
hour�察 �I  went  to  my  room  and  removed  the  twenty´two  Veian  gold  pieces 
from  the  lining  of  the  sash  I¨d  hidden  in  my  mattress�察 �placing  them  in  my 
money  purse  with  trembling  fingers。  When  I  returned  to  the  street�察 �I  knew 
immediately I¨d see Shekure¨s dark�察�teary�察�troubled eyes for the rest of the day。 
I changed five of the Veian Lions at a perpetually smiling Jewish money 
changer。 Next�察�deep in thought�察�I entered the neighborhood whose name I¨ve 
yet  to  mention  because  I¨m  not  fond  of  it�此 �Yakutlar�察 �where  my  deceased 
Enishte and Shekure�察�along with her children�察�awaited me at their house。 As I 
made  my  way  along  the  streets  almost  running�察 �a  tall  plane  tree  seemed  to 
reproach me for being overjoyed by dreams and plans of marriage on the very 
day my Enishte had passed away。 Next�察�as the ice had melted�察�a street fountain 
hissed into my ear�此 �Don¨t take matters too seriously�察�see to your own affairs 
and your own happiness。 ̄ ^That¨s all fine and good�察院�objected an ill´omened 
black  cat  licking  himself  on  the  corner�察  �but  everybody�察 �yourself  included�察�
suspects you had a hand in your uncle¨s murder。 ̄ 
The cat left off licking himself as I suddenly caught sight of its bewitching 
eyes。  I  don¨t  have  to  tell  you  how  brazen  these  Istanbul  cats  get  when  the 
locals spoil them。 
I found the Imam Effendi�察�whose droopy eyelids and large black eyes gave 
him  a  perpetually  sleepy  look�察 �not  at  his  house�察 �but  in  the  courtyard  of  the 
neighborhood  mosque�察 �and  there  I  asked  him  quite  a  trivial  legal  question�此�
^When is one obligated to testify in court�拭院�I raised my eyebrows as I listened 
to his haughty answer as if I were hearing this information for the first time。 
^Bearing  witness  is  optional  if  other  witnesses  are  present�察院 �explained  the 
213 
 
Imam Effendi�察 �but�察�in situations where there was only one witness�察�it is the 
will of God that one bear witness。 ̄ 
^That¨s  just  the  predicament  I  find  myself  in  now�察院 �I  said�察 �taking  up  the 
conversation。  ^In  a  situation  everyone  knows  about�察 �all  the  witnesses  have 
shirked their responsibilities and avoided going to court with the excuse that 
 ̄it¨s only voluntary�察亜�and as a result the pressing concerns of those I¨m trying 
to help are being pletely disregarded。 ̄ 
^Well�察院�said the Imam Effendi�察 �why don¨t you loosen your purse´strings a 
little more�拭院�
I  took  out  my  pouch  and  showed  him  the  Veian  gold  pieces  huddled 
within�此 �The  broad  space  of  the  mosque  courtyard�察 �the  face  of  the  preacher�察�
everything  was  suddenly  illuminated  by  the  glimmer  of  gold。  He  asked  me 
what my dilemma was all about。 
I explained who I was。 ^Enishte Effendi is ill�察院�I confided。 ^Before he dies�察�he 
wants his daughter¨s widowhood certified and an alimony to be instituted。 ̄ 
I didn¨t even have to mention the proxy of the ┨sk┨dar judge。 The Imam 
Effendi understood at once and said the entire neighborhood had long been 
troubled over the fate of hapless Shekure�察�adding that the situation had already 
persisted  too  long。  Instead  of  searching  for  a  second  witness  required  for  a 
legal separation at the door of the ┨sk┨dar judge�察�the Imam Effendi suggested 
his brother。 Now�察�if I were to offer an additional gold piece to the brother�察�who 
lived in the neighborhood and was familiar with the predicament of Shekure 
and her darling children�察�I¨d be doing a good pious turn。 After all�察�for only two 
gold coins the Imam Effendi was giving me a deal on the second witness。 We 
immediately agreed。 The Imam Effendi went to fetch his brother。 
The rest of our day rather resembled the ^cat´and´mouse ̄ stories that I¨d 
watched  storytellers  in  Aleppo  coffeehouses  act  out。  Because  of  all  the 
adventure and trickery�察�such stories written up as narrative poems and bound 
were  never  taken  seriously  even  if  presented  in  fine  calligraphy�察 �that  is�察 �they 
were  never  illustrated。  I�察 �on  the  other  hand�察 �was  quite  pleased  to  divide  our 
daylong adventure into four scenes�察�imagining each in the illustrated pages of 
my mind。 
In the first scene�察�the miniaturist ought to depict us amid mustachioed and 
muscled oarsmen�察�forging our way across the blue Bosphorus toward ┨sk┨dar 
in the four´oared red longboat we¨d boarded in Unkapan�拭� The preacher and 
his  skinny  dark´plexioned  brother�察 �pleased  with  the  surprise  voyage�察 �are 
engaging the oarsmen in friendly chatter。 Meanwhile�察�amid blithe dreams of 
214 
 
marriage that play ceaselessly before my eyes�察�I stare deep into the waters of 
the Bosphorus�察�flowing clearer than usual on this sunny winter morning�察�on 
guard for an ominous sign within its currents。 I¨m afraid�察�for example�察�that I 
might see the wreck of a pirate ship below。 Thus�察�no matter how joyously the 
miniaturist  colors  the  sea  and  clouds�察 �he  ought  to  include  something 
equivalent  to  the  darkness  of  my  fears  and  as  intense  as  my  dreams  of 
happiness!a terrifying´looking fish�察�for example!in the depths of the water 
so the reader of my adventure won¨t assume all is rosy。 
Our second picture ought to show the palaces of sultans�察�the meetings of 
the  Divan  Council  of  State�察 �the  reception  of  European  ambassadors�察 �and 
detailed  and  carefully  posed  crowded  interiors  of  a  subtlety  worthy  of 
Bihzad�察 �that  is�察 �the  picture  ought  to  partake  of  playful  tricks  and  irony。 
Thereby�察 �while  the  Kadi  Effendi  apparently  makes  an  open´handed  ^halt ̄ 
gesture indicating ^never ̄ or ^no ̄ to my bribe�察�with his other hand he ought 
to  be  shown  obligingly  pocketing  my  Veian  gold  coins�察 �and  the  ultimate 
result of this bribe should be depicted in the same picture�此�Shahap Effendi�察�the 
Shaf┨  proxy  presiding  in  place  of  the  ┨sk┨dar  judge。  The  simultaneous 
depiction  of  sequential  events  could  only  be  achieved  through  an  intelligent 
miniaturist¨s  cunning  facility  in  page  position。  Thus�察 �when  the  observer�察�
who  first  sees  me  giving  a  bribe�察 �notices  elsewhere  in  the  painting  that  the 
man sitting cross´legged on the judge¨s cushion is the proxy�察�he¨ll realize�察�even 
if he hasn¨t read the story�察�that the honorable judge has temporarily given up 
his office so his proxy might grant Shekure a divorce。 
The  third  illustration  should  show  the  same  scene�察 �but  this  time  the  wall 
ornamentation should be darker and rendered in the Chinese style�察�the curly 
branches  being  more  intricate  and  dense�察 �and  colorful  clouds  should  appear 
above  the  judge¨s  proxy  so  the  chicanery  in  the  story  might  be  apparent。 
Though  the  Imam  Effendi  and  his  brother  have  actually  testified  separately 
before the judge¨s proxy�察�in the illustration they are shown together explaining 
how  the  husband  of  anguished  Shekure  hasn¨t  returned  from  war  for  four 
years�察�how she is in a state of destitution without a husband to look after her�察�
how her two fatherless children are perpetually in tears and hungry�察�how there 
is no prospect for remarriage because she¨s still considered married�察�and how 
in  this  state  she  can¨t  even  receive  a  loan  without  permission  from  her 
husband。 They¨re so convincing that even a man as deaf as a stone would grant 
her a divorce through a cascade of tears。 The heartless proxy�察�however�察�having 
none of it�察�asks about Shekure¨s legal guardian。 After a moment of hesitation�察�I 
215 
 
immediately interrupt�察�declaring that her esteemed father�察�who has served as 
herald and ambassador for Our Sultan�察�is still alive。 
^Until he testifies in court�察�I¨ll never grant her a divorce� 院�said the proxy。 
Thereupon�察 �thoroughly  flustered�察 �I  explained  how  my  Enishte  Effendi  was 
ill�察�bed´ridden and struggling for his life�察�how his last wish to God was to see 
his daughter divorced�察�and how I was his representative。 
^What  does  she  want  with  a  divorce�拭院 �asked  the  proxy。  ^Why  would  a 
dying  man  want  to  see  his  daughter  divorced  from  her  husband  who¨s  long 
vanished  at  war  anyway�拭 �Listen�察 �I¨d  understand  if  there  were  a  good�察�
trustworthy  candidate  for  son´in´law�察 �because  then  he  wouldn¨t  pass  away 
with his wish unfulfilled。 ̄ 
^There is a prospect�察�sir�察院�I said。 
^Who might that be�拭院�
^It is I� 院�
^e now� �You¨re the guardian¨s representative� 院�said the judge¨s proxy。 
^What line of work are you in�拭院�
^In the eastern provinces�察�I served as secretary�察�chief secretary and assistant 
treasurer  to  various  pashas。  I  pleted  a  history  of  the  Persian  wars  that  I 
intend  to  present  to  Our  Sultan。  I¨m  a  connoisseur  of  illustrating  and 
decoration。 I¨ve been burning with love for this woman for twenty years。 ̄ 
^Are you a relative of hers�拭院�
I  was  so  embarrassed  at  having  fallen  so  abruptly  and  unexpectedly  into 
groveling meekness before the judge¨s proxy�察�at having bared my life like some 
dull object devoid of any mystery�察�that I fell pletely silent。 
^Instead of turning beet red�察�give me an answer�察�young man�察�lest I refuse to 
grant her a divorce。 ̄ 
^She¨s the daughter of my maternal aunt。 ̄ 
^Hmmm�察�I see。 Will you be able to make her happy�拭院�
When  he  asked  the  question  he  made  a  vulgar  hand  gesture。  The 
miniaturist should omit this indelicacy。 It¨d be enough for him to show how 
much I blushed。 
^I make a decent living。 ̄ 
^As I belong to the Shaf┨ sect�察�there is nothing contrary to the Holy Book or 
my  creed  in  my  granting  the  divorce  of  this  unfortunate  Shekure�察 �whose 
216 
 
husband has been missing at the front for four years�察院�said the Proxy Effendi。 
^I  grant  the  divorce。  And  I  rule  that  her  husband  no  longer  has  any 
superceding rights should he return。 ̄ 
The  subsequent  illustration�察 �that  is�察 �the  fourth�察 �ought  to  depict  the  proxy 
recording  the  divorce  in  the  ledger�察 �unleashing  obedient  armies  of  black´ink 
letters�察�before presenting me with the document declaring that my Shekure is 
now a widow and there is no obstacle to her immediate remarriage。 Neither 
by painting the walls of the courtroom red�察�nor by situating the picture within 
bloodred  borders  could  the  blissful  inner  radiance  I  felt  at  that  moment  be 
expressed。 Running back through the crowd of false witnesses and other men 
gathering before the judge¨s door seeking divorces for their sisters�察�daughters 
or even aunts�察�I set out on my return journey。 
After   I   crossed   the   Bosphorus   and   headed   directly   to   the   Yakutlar 
neighborhood�察�I dismissed both the considerate Imam Effendi�察�who wanted to 
perform the marriage ceremony�察�and his brother。 Since I suspected everyone I 
saw on the street of hatching some mischief out of jealousy over the incredible 
happiness  I  was  on  the  verge  of  attaining�察 �I  ran  straight  to  Shekure¨s  street。 
How had the ominous crows divined the presence of a body in the house and 
taken to hopping around excitedly on the terra´cotta shingles�拭�I was overe 
by  guilt  because  I  hadn¨t  been  able  to  grieve  for  my  Enishte  or  even  shed  a 
single  tear�察 �even  so
卦指朕村 貧匯匈 和匯匈 指欺競何 壘��1�� 家��2��
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
梁椣戻幣�� 梁心弌傍議揖扮窟燕得胎��傍竃徭失議心隈才凪万弌誌育断蛍�輌臆惨軼僑〃�燕慕得珊辛參資誼持蛍才将刮襲潜��範寔亟圻幹慕得 瓜寡追葎娼得辛參資誼寄楚署衛、持蛍才将刮襲潜填��