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my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕-及63何蛍
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��
anything like that。 Shevket�察�and it seems the father´in´law�察�believed Hasan¨s lie。
She wants to return to you�察�but she has certain conditions。 ̄
Staring directly into Black¨s eyes�察 �I listed her conditions。 He accepted at
once with an official air as if he were speaking with a genuine ambassador。
^I�察�too�察�have a condition�察院�I said。 ^I¨m heading back into the house again。 ̄ I
pointed out the shutters of the window behind which the father´in´law sat。
^In a little while attack from there and the front door。 When I scream�察�that¨ll
be the signal for you to stop。 If Hasan arrives�察�don¨t hesitate to attack him。 ̄
My words�察 �of course�察 �did not befit an ambassador�察 �to whom no harm
should e�察�but I let myself get carried away�察�you see。 This time�察�as soon as I
yelled ^Clothierrr�察院�the door opened。 I went directly to the father´in´law。
^The entire neighborhood�察 �and the judge who presides over these parts�察�
that is everyone�察 �knows that Shekure has long been divorced and properly
remarried in keeping with the dictates of the Koran�察院�I said。 ^Even if your son�察�
who has long since passed away�察�came back to life and returned here to you
from Heaven in the pany of the Prophet Moses�察�it¨d be of no use for he¨s
divorced from Shekure。 You¨ve abducted a married woman and are holding
her here against her will。 Black requested that I tell you he and his men will see
to your punishment for this crime before the judge can。 ̄
^Then he will have made a grave mistake�察院�said the father´in´law delicately。
^We didn¨t abduct Shekure at all� �I¨m the grandfather of these children�察�praise
be to God。 Hasan is their uncle。 When Shekure was left all alone�察�what choice
did she have but to seek shelter here�拭�If she wants�察�she can leave now and take
her children with her。 But never forget that this is her first home�察�where she
gave birth to her children and happily raised them。 ̄
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^Shekure�察院 �I said unthinkingly�察 �do you want to return to your father¨s
house�拭院�
She¨d begun to cry on account of the ^happy hearth ̄ speech。 ^I have no
father�察院�she said�察�or was that how I heard it�拭�Her children first embraced her
legs�察�then sat her down and hugged her�察�the three of them hugged one another
in a large ball and wept。 But Esther is no idiot�此�I knew full well that Shekure¨s
tears were meant to appease both sides without her having to make a decision。
But I also knew they were genuine tears�察�because they moved me to cry�察�too。 A
while later�察�I noticed that Hayriye�察�that snake�察�was also crying。
As if to pay back the green´eyed father´in´law for being the sole person in
the room who wasn¨t crying�察 �Black and his men began their attack on the
house that very moment by banging on the shutters and forcing the door。 Two
men were at the front door with a battering ram whose blows sounded like
cannonfire through the house。
^You¨re an experienced and dignified man�察院�I said�察�encouraged by my own
tears�察 �open the door and tell those rabid mongrels out there that Shekure is
on her way。 ̄
^Would you send an unprotected woman�察 �your daughter´in´law no less�察�
who¨d taken refuge in your house�察�out onto the streets with those dogs�拭院�
^She herself wants to go�察院�I said。 With my purple handkerchief I wiped my
nose�察�which had stuffed up from crying。
^In that case she¨s free to open the door and leave�察院�he said。
I sat down beside Shekure and her children。 At each new blow�察 �the
terrifying noise made by the men forcing the door became yet another excuse
for yet more tears�察�the children began to cry louder�察�which in turn increased
Shekure¨s wailing and mine as well。 Still�察 �even taking into account the
threatening cries from outside and the blows of the battering ram that seemed
on the verge of destroying the house�察�both of us knew we were crying to gain
time。
^My beautiful Shekure�察院 �I said�察 �your father´in´law has given you
permission and your husband Black has accepted all of your terms�察 �he¨s
waiting for you lovingly�察�you no longer have any business in this house。 Put on
your cloak�察�don your veil�察�take your belongings and your children�察�and open
the door so we can go quietly back to your house。 ̄
This statement of mine made the children wail even more�察 �and caused
Shekure to open her eyes in shock。
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^I¨m afraid of Hasan�察院 �she said�察 �his revenge will be horrible。 He¨s wild。
Remember�察�I came here on my own。 ̄
^This doesn¨t cancel out your new marriage�察院�I said。 ^You were left helpless�察�
of course you were going to take refuge somewhere。 Your husband¨s forgiven
you�察�he¨s prepared to take you back。 As for Hasan�察�we¨ll deal with him the way
we have for years。 ̄ I smiled。
^But I¨m not going to open the door�察院 �she said�察 �because then I¨ll have
returned to him of my own free will。 ̄
^My dearest Shekure�察�I cannot open the door either�察院�I said。 ^You know as
well as I that this would mean I¨ve meddled in your affairs。 They¨d bitterly
avenge such meddling。 ̄
I could see from her eyes that she understood。 ^Then no one will open the
door�察院�she said。 ^Let¨s wait for them to break it down and take us by force。 ̄
I knew at once this would be the best alternative for Shekure and her
children�察�and I was afraid。 ^But that means blood will be spilled�察院�I said。 ^If the
judge isn¨t involved in this affair�察�blood will flow�察�and a blood feud will last for
years。 No honorable man could stand by and watch as his house was broken
into and raided to abduct a woman residing there。 ̄
I once again understood regretfully how deceptive and calculating this
Shekure was as she embraced her two boys and wailed with all her being
rather than answer。 A voice was telling me to forget everything and leave�察�but I
could no longer walk back through the door�察�which was being battered to the
breaking point。 Actually�察�I was afraid of both what would happen if they broke
down the door and came through and what would happen if they didn¨t�察 �I
kept thinking that Black¨s men�察�who trusted in me�察�were worried about going
too far and might retreat at any moment�察�which would�察�in turn�察�embolden the
father´in´law。 When he went to Shekure¨s side�察�I knew he¨d begun to cry fake
tears�察�but what¨s worse�察�he was trembling in a way that couldn¨t be feigned。
Stepping toward the door�察 �I screamed with all my strength�察 �Stop�察 �that¨s
enough� 院�
The motion outside and the wailing inside ended in a heartbeat。
^Mother�察�have Orhan open the door�察院�I said in a moment of inspiration and
in a sweet voice�察�as if I were speaking to the boy。 ^He wants to go home�察�no
one will take issue with that。 ̄
The words had hardly left my mouth when Orhan freed himself from his
mother¨s loosening arms�察�and like somebody who¨d lived here for years�察�slid
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open the bolt�察 �lifted the wooden bar�察 �then unfastened the latch�察 �and moved
backward two steps。 The cold from outside entered as the door yawned open。
There was such a silence that all of us heard a lazy dog bark off in the distance。
Shekure kissed Orhan�察 �who was back in his mother¨s lap�察 �and Shevket said�察�
^I¨m going to tell Uncle Hasan。 ̄
I saw Shekure stand�察�take up her cloak and prepare her bundle to leave�察�and
I was so greatly relieved�察 �I was afraid I might laugh。 I seated myself and had
two more spoonfuls of the lentil soup。
Black was intelligent enough not to e anywhere near the door of the
house。 For a time�察�Shevket locked himself in his late father¨s room�察�and even
though we called for Black¨s help�察�neither he nor his men came。 After Shekure
agreed to let Shevket take along his Uncle Hasan¨s ruby´handled dagger�察 �the
boy was willing to leave the house with us。
^Be afraid of Hasan and his red sword�察院�said the father´in´law with genuine
worry rather than an air of defeat and vengeance。 He kissed each of his
grandchildren�察�sniffing their heads。 He also whispered into Shekure¨s ear。
When I saw Shekure gazing one last time at the door�察�walls and stove of the
house�察 �I remembered once again how this was where she spent the happiest
years of her life with her first husband。 But could she also tell that this same
house was the refuge of two miserable and lonely men�察 �and that it bore the
stench of death�拭�I didn¨t walk with her on the way back for she had broken my
heart by ing back here。
It wasn¨t the cold and blackness of the night that brought together the two
fatherless children and three women!one servant�察 �one Jewess and one
widow!it was the strange neighborhoods�察�the nearly impassable streets and
the fear of Hasan。 Our crowded pany was under the protection of Black¨s
men�察�and just like a caravan carrying treasure�察�we walked over out´of´the´way
roads�察 �backstreets and solitary�察 �seldom´visited neighborhoods�察 �so as to avoid
running into guards�察 �Janissaries�察 �curious neighborhood thugs�察 �thieves or
Hasan。 At times�察 �through blackness in which you couldn¨t see your hand
before your face�察�we groped our way�察�perpetually bumping against each other
and the walls。 We walked clinging to one another�察�overe by the sensation
that the living dead�察 �jinns and demons would surely emerge from
underground and abduct us into the night。 Just behind the walls and closed
shutters�察 �which we felt blindly with our hands�察 �we heard the snoring and
coughing of people in the nighttime cold as well as the lowing of beasts in
their stables。
378
Even Esther�察�no stranger to the poorest and worst districts�察�who¨d walked
all the streets of Istanbul!that is excluding those neighborhoods wherein
migrants and the members of various unfortunate munities
congregated!occasionally felt that we would vanish on these streets�察 �which
twisted and turned without end through an endless blackness。 Yet I could still
make out certain street corners that I¨d patiently passed in the daytime toting
my satchel�察 �for example�察 �I recognized the walls of Head Tailor¨s Street�察 �the
sharp smell of manure!which for some reason reminded me of cinnamon!
ing from the stable adjacent to Nurullah Hoja¨s property�察�the fire´ravaged
sites on Acrobats Street and the Falconers Arcade that led into the square with
the Blind Haji Fountain�察 �and thus I knew we weren¨t heading toward the
house of Shekure¨s late father at all�察 �but to some other�察 �mysterious
destination。
There was no telling what Hasan would do if angered�察�and I knew Black had
found another place to hide his family from him!and from that devil of a
murderer。 If I could¨ve made out where that place was�察�I would tell you�察�now�察�
and Hasan tomorrow morning!not out of spite�察�but because I¨m convinced
that Shekure will again want to have Hasan¨s interest。 But Black�察�intelligent as
he was�察�no longer trusted me。
We were walking down a dark street behind the slave market when a
motion of cries and wails erupted at the far end of the street。 We heard
the sounds of a scuffle�察 �and I recognized with fear the clamorous start of a
fight�此�the clash of axes�察�swords and sticks and the bellow of bitter pain。
Black handed his own large sword to one of his most trusted men�察�forcibly
took the dagger from Shevket�察 �causing the boy to cry�察 �and had the barber¨s
apprentice and two other men move Shekure�察�Hayriye and the children a safe
distance away。 The theology student told me he¨d take me home by way of a
shortcut�察�that is�察�he didn¨t let me stay with the others。 Was this a twist of fate
or some cunning attempt to keep secret the whereabouts of their hideout�拭�
There was a shop�察�which I understood to be a coffeehouse�察�at the end of this
narrow street we were passing down。 Perhaps the swordfight stopped as soon
as it¨d begun。 Crowds of men were hooting as they entered and left�察�at first I
thought they were looting�察�but no�察�they were destroying the coffeehouse。 They
carefully took out all of the ceramic cups�察 �brass pots�察 �glasses and low tables
under the light of the torches of the onlookers and destroyed them all as a
warning。 They roughed up a man who tried to stop them�察�but he was able to
get away。 Originally�察�I thought their target was only coffee�察�as they themselves
claimed。 They were condemning its ill effects�察�how it harmed the sight and the
379
stomach�察�how it dulled the intellect and caused men to lose their faith�察�how it
was the poison of the Franks and how Exalted Muhammad had turned down
coffee even though it was offered to him by a beautiful woman!Satan in
disguise。 It was as if this were the theatrics for a night of instruction in moral
etiquette�察�and if I finally made it home�察�I thought I might even scold Nesim�察�
warning him not to drink too much of that poison。
Since there ing houses and cheap inns nearby�察 �a
curious crowd formed in no time�察�made up of idle wanderers�察�homeless men
and no´good mongrels who¨d snuck illegally into the city�察 �and they
emboldened these enemies of coffee。 It was then I understood that these men
were the henchmen of Preacher Nusret Hoja of Erzurum。 They intended to
clean up all the dens of wine�察�prostitution and coffee in Istanbul and punish
severely those who veered from the path of Exalted Muhammad�察�those who�察�
for example�察�used dervish ceremonies as an excuse for belly´dancing to music。
They railed against the enemies of religion�察 �men who collaborated with the
Devil�察 �pagans�察 �unbelievers and illustrators。 I suddenly recalled this was the
coffeehouse on whose walls drawings were hung�察�where religion and the hoja
from Erzurum were maligned and where disrespect knew no bounds。
A coffee maker¨s apprentice�察 �his face spattered with blood�察 �emerged from
inside�察 �and I thought he might collapse�察 �but he wiped the blood from his
forehead and cheeks with the cuff of his shirt�察�melded in with our group and
began to watch the raid。 The crowd pulled back a little out of fear。 I noticed
Black recognize somebody and hesitate。 By the way the Erzurumis began to
collect together�察 �I knew that the Janissaries or some other band armed with
clubs was on its way。 The torches were extinguished and the crowd became a
confused mob。
Black grabbed me by the arm and had the theology student take me away。
^Go by way of the backstreets�察院 �he said。 ^He¨ll see you to your house。 ̄ The
student wanted to slip away as soon as possible and we were almost running
as we departed。 My thoughts were with Black�察�but if Esther¨s taken out of the
scene�察�she can¨t possibly continue with the story�察�can she now�拭�
380
I AM A WOMA
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
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