new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第5部分

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It　was　a　relief　to　be　outside；　I　hurried　past　the　lanterns　and　the　roses；　now　
unwele　reminders。　
Edward　kept　pace　with　me　silently。　He　opened　the　passenget　side　for　me；　and　I　
climbed　in　without　
plaint。　
On　the　dashboard　was　a　big　red　ribbon；　stuck　to　the　new　stereo。　I　pulled　it　
off；　throwing　it　to　the　floor。　
As　Edward　slid　into　the　other　side；　I　kicked　the　ribbon　under　my　seat。　
He　didn't　look　at　me　or　the　stereo。　Neither　of　us　switched　it　on；　and　the　
silence　was　somehow　intensified　
by　the　sudden　thunder　of　the　engine。　He　drove　too　fast　down　the　dark；　
serpentine　lane。　
The　silence　was　making　me　insane。　
〃Say　something；〃　I　finally　begged　as　he　turned　onto　the　freeway。　
〃What　do　you　want　me　to　say？〃　he　asked　in　a　detached　voice。　
I　cringed　at　his　remoteness。　'Tell　me　you　forgive　me。〃　
That　brought　a　flicker　of　life　to　his　face—a　flicker　of　anger。　〃Forgive　you？　
For　what？〃　
〃If　I'd　been　more　careful；　nothing　would　have　happened。〃　
〃Bella；　you　gave　yourself　a　paper　cut—that　hardly　deserves　the　death　
penalty。〃　
〃It's　still　my　fault。〃　
My　words　opened　up　the　floodgate。　
〃Your　fault？　If　you'd　cut　yourself　at　Mike　Newton's　house；　with　Jessica　there　
and　Angela　and　your　other　
normal　friends；　the　worst　that　could　possibly　have　happened　would　be　what？　
Maybe　they　couldn't　find　
you　a　bandage？　If　you'd　tripped　and　knocked　over　a　pile　of　glass　plates　on　
your　own—without　someone　
throwing　you　into　them—even　then；　what's　the　worst？　You'd　get　blood　on　the　
seats　when　they　drove　
you　to　the　emergency　room？　Mike　Newton　could　have　held　your　hand　while　they　
stitched　you　up—and　
he　wouldn't　be　righting　the　urge　to　kill　you　the　whole　time　he　was　there。　
Don't　try　to　take　any　of　this　on　
yourself；　Bella。　It　will　only　make　me　more　disgusted　with　myself。〃　
〃How　the　hell　did　Mike　Newton　end　up　in　this　conversation？〃　I　demanded。　
〃Mike　Newton　ended　up　in　this　conversation　because　Mike　Newton　would　be　a　hell　
of　a　lot　healthier　for　
you　to　be　with；〃　he　growled。　
〃I'd　rather　die　than　be　with　Mike　Newton；〃　I　protested。　〃I'd　rather　die　than　
be　with　anyone　but　you。〃　
〃Don't　be　melodramatic；　please。〃　
〃Well　then；　don't　you　be　ridiculous。〃　
He　didn't　answer。　He　glared　through　the　windshield；　his　expression　black。　
I　racked　my　brain　for　some　way　to　salvage　the　evening。　When　we　pulled　up　in　
front　of　my　house；　I　still　
hadn't　e　up　with　anything。　
He　killed　the　engine；　but　his　hands　stayed　clenched　around　the　steering　wheel。　
〃Will　you　stay　tonight？〃　I　asked。　
〃I　should　go　home。〃　
The　last　thing　I　wanted　was　for　him　to　go　wallow　in　remorse。　
〃For　my　birthday；〃　I　pressed。　
〃You　can't　have　it　both　ways—either　you　want　people　to　ignore　your　birthday　
or　you　don't。　One　or　the　
other。〃　
His　voice　was　stern；　but　not　。is　serious　as　before。　I　breathed　a　silent　sigh　
of　relief。　
〃Okay。　I've　decided　that　I　don't　want　you　to　ignore　my　birthday。　I'll　see　you　
upstairs。〃　
I　hopped　out；　reaching　back　in　for　my　packages。　He　frowned。　
〃You　don't　have　to　take　those。〃　
〃I　want　them；〃　I　responded　automatically；　and　then　wondered　if　he　was　using　
reverse　psychology。　
〃No；　you　don't。　Carlisle　and　Esme　spent　money　on　you。〃　
〃I'll　live。〃　I　tucked　the　presents　awkwardly　under　my　good　arm　and　slammed　the　
door　behind　me。　He　
was　out　of　the　truck　and　by　my　side　in　less　than　a　second。　
〃Let　me　carry　them；　at　least。〃　he　said　as　he　took　them　away。　〃I'll　be　in　your　
room。〃　
I　smiled。　〃Thanks。〃　
〃Happy　birthday；〃　he　sighed；　and　leaned　down　to　touch　his　lips　to　mine。　
I　reached　up　on　my　toes　to　make　the　kiss　last　longer　when　he　pulled　away。　He　
smiled　my　favorite　
crooked　smile；　and　then　he　disappeared　into　the　darkness。　
The　game　was　still　on；　as　soon　as　I　walked　through　the　front　door　I　could　hear　
the　announcer　rambling　
over　the　babble　of　the　crowd。　
〃Bell？〃　Charlie　called。　
〃Hey；　Dad；〃　I　said　as　I　came　around　the　corner。　I　held　my　arm　close　to　my　
side。　The　slight　pressure　
burned；　and　I　wrinkled　my　nose。　The　anesthetic　was　apparently　losing　its　
effectiveness。　
〃How　was　it？〃　Charlie　lounged　across　the　sofa　with　his　bare　feet　propped　up　on　
the　arm。　What　was　left　
of　his　curly　brown　hair　was　crushed　flat　on　one　side。　
〃Alice　went　overboard。　Flowers；　cake；　candles；　presents—the　whole　bit。〃　
〃What　did　they　get　you？〃　
〃A　stereo　for　my　truck。〃　And　various　unknowns。　
〃Wow。〃　
〃Yeah；〃　I　agreed。　〃Well；　I'm　calling　it　a　night。〃　
〃I'll　see　you　in　the　morning。〃　
I　waved。　〃See　ya。〃　
〃What　happened　to　your　arm？〃　
I　flushed　and　cursed　silently。　〃I　tripped。　It's　nothing。〃　
〃Bella；〃　he　sighed；　shaking　his　head。　
〃Goodnight；　Dad。〃　
I　hurried　up　to　the　bathroom；　where　I　kept　my　pajamas　for　just　such　nights　as　
these。　I　shrugged　into　the　
matching　tank　top　and　cotton　pants　that　I'd　gotten　to　replace　the　holey　sweats　
I　used　to　wear　to　bed；　
wincing　as　the　movement　pulled　at　the　stitches。　I　washed　my　face　one…handed；　
brushed　my　teeth；　and　
then　skipped　to　my　room。　
He　was　sitting　in　the　center　of　my　bed；　toying　idly　with　one　of　the　silver　
boxes。　
〃Hi；〃　he　said。　His　voice　was　sad。　He　was　wallowing。　
I　went　to　the　bed；　pushed　the　presents　out　of　his　hands；　and　climbed　into　his　
lap。　
〃Hi。〃　I　snuggled　into　his　stone　chest。　〃Can　I　open　my　presents　now？〃　
〃Where　did　the　enthusiasm　e　from？〃　he　wondered。　
〃You　made　me　curious。〃　
I　picked　up　the　long　flat　rectangle　that　must　have　been　from　Carlisle　and　
Esme。　
〃Allow　me；〃　he　suggested。　He　took　the　gift　from　my　hand　and　tore　the　silver　
paper　off　with　one　fluid　
movement。　He　handed　the　rectangular　white　box　back　to　me。　
〃Are　you　sure　I　can　handle　lifting　the　lid？〃　I　muttered；　but　he　ignored　me。　
Inside　the　box　was　a　long　thick　piece　of　paper　with　an　overwhelming　amount　of　
fine　print。　It　took　me　a　
minute　to　get　the　gist　of　the　information。　
〃We're　going　to　Jacksonville？〃　And　I　was　excited；　in　spite　of　myself。　It　was　a　
voucher　for　plane　tickets；　
for　both　me　and　Edward。　
〃That's　the　idea。〃　
〃I　can't　believe　it。　Renee　is　going　to　flip！　You　don't　mind；　though；　do　you？　
It's　sunny；　you'll　have　to　stay　
inside　all　day。〃　
〃I　think　I　can　handle　it；〃　he　said；　and　then　frowned。　〃If　I'd　had　any　idea　
that　you　could　respond　to　a　gift　
this　appropriately；　I　would　have　made　you　open　it　in　front　of　Carlisle　and　
Esme。　I　thought　you'd　
plain。〃　
〃Well；　of　course　it's　too　much。　But　I　get　to　take　you　with　me！〃　
He　chuckled。　〃Now　I　wish　I'd　spent　money　on　your　present。　I　didn't　realize　
that　you　were　capable　of　
being　reasonable。〃　
I　set　the　tickets　aside　and　reached　for　his　present；　my　curiosity　rekindled。　
He　took　it　from　me　and　
unwrapped　it　like　the　first　one。　
He　handed　back　a　clear　CD　jewel　case；　with　a　blank　silver　CD　inside。　
〃What　is　it？〃　I　asked；　perplexed。　
He　didn't　say　anything；　he　took　the　CD　and　reached　around　me　to　put　it　in　the　
CD　player　on　the　bedside　
table。　He　hit　play；　and　we　waited　in　silence。　Then　the　music　began。　
I　listened；　speechless　and　wide…eyed。　I　knew　he　was　waiting　for　my　reaction；　
but　I　couldn't　talk。　Tears　
welled　up；　and　I　reached　up　to　wipe　them　away　before　they　could　spill　over。　
〃Does　your　arm　hurt？〃　he　asked　anxiously。　
〃No；　it's　not　my　arm。　It's　beautiful；　Edward。　You　couldn't　have　given　me　
anything　I　would　love　more。　I　
can't　believe　it。〃　I　shut　up；　so　I　could　listen。　
It　was　his　music；　his　positions。　The　first　piece　on　the　CD　was　my　lullaby。　
〃I　didn't　think　you　would　let　me　get　a　piano　so　I　could　play　for　you　here；〃　he　
explained。　
〃You're　right。〃　
〃How　does　your　arm　feel？〃　
〃Just　fine。〃　Actually；　it　was　starting　to　blaze　under　the　bandage。　I　wanted　
ice。　I　would　have　settled　for　his　
hand；　but　that　would　have　given　me　away。　
〃I'll　get　you　some　Tylenol。〃　
〃I　don't　need　anything；〃　I　protested；　but　he　slid　me　off　his　lap　and　headed　
for　the　door。　
〃Charlie；〃　I　hissed。　Charlie　wasn't　exactly　aware　that　Edward　frequently　
stayed　over。　In　fact；　he　would　
have　a　stroke　if　that　fact　were　brought　to　his　attention。　But　I　didn't　feel　
too　guilty　for　deceiving　him　It　
wasn't　as　if　we　were　up　to　anything　he　wouldn't　want　me　to　be　up　to。　Edward　
and　his　rules　
〃He　won't　catch　me；〃　Edward　promised　as　he　disappeared　silently　out　the　door　。　
。　and　returned；　catching　
the　door　before　it　had　swung　back　to　touch　the　frame。　He　had　the　glass　from　
the　bathroom　and　the　bottle　
of　pills　in　one　hand。　
I　took　the　pills　he　handed　me　without　arguing—I　knew　I　would　lose　the　
argument　And　my　arm　really　was　
starting　to　bother　me。　
My　lullaby　continued；　soft　and　lovely；　in　the　background。　
〃It's　late；〃　Edward　noted。　He　scooped　me　up　off　the　bed　with　one　arm；　and　
pulled　the　cover　back　with　
the　other。　He　put　me　down　with　my　head　on　my　pillow　and　tucked　the　quilt　
around　me。　He　lay　down　next　
to　me—on　top　of　the　blanket　so　I　wouldn't　get　chilled—and　put　his　arm　over　
me。　
I　leaned　my　head　against　his　shoulder　and　sighed　happily。　
〃Thanks　again；〃　I　whispered。　
〃You're　wele。〃　
It　was　quiet　for　a　long　moment　as　I　listened　to　my　lullaby　drift　to　a　close。　
Another　song　began。　I　
recognized　Esme's　favorite。　
〃What　are　you　thinking　about？'〃　I　wondered　in　a　whisper。　
He　hesitated　for　a　second　before　he　told　me。　〃I　was　thinking　about　right　and　
wrong；　actually。〃　
I　felt　a　chill　tingle　along　my　spine。　
〃Remember　how　I　decided　that　I　wanted　you　to　not　ignore　my　birthday？〃　I　asked　
quickly；　hoping　it　
wasn't　too　clear　that　I　was　trying　to　distract　him。　
〃Yes；〃　he　agreed；　wary。　
〃Well；　I　was　thinking；　since　it's　still　my　birthday；　that　I'd　like　you　to　kiss　
me　again。〃　
〃You're　greedy　tonight。〃　
〃Yes；　I　am—but　please；　don't　do　anything　you　don't　want　to　do；〃　I　added；　
piqued。　
He　laughed；　and　then　sighed。　〃Heaven　forbid　that　I　should　do　anything　I　don't　
want　to　do；〃　he　said　in　a　
strangely　desperate　tone　as　he　put　his　hand　under　my　chin　and　pulled　my　face　
up　to　his。　
The　kiss　began　much　the　same　as　usual—Edward　was　as　careful　as　ever；　and　my　
heart　began　to　
overreact　like　it　always　did。　And　then　something　seemed　to　change。　Suddenly　
his　lips　became　much　more　
urgent；　his　free　hand　twisted　into　my　hair　and　held　my　face　securely　to　his。　
And；　though　my　hands　tangled　
in　his　hair；　too；　and　though　I　was　clearly　beginning　to　cross　his　cautious　
lines；　for　once　he　didn't　stop　me。　
His　body　was　cold　through　the　thin　quilt；　but　I　crushed　myself　against　him　
eagerly。　
When　he　stopped　it　was　abrupt；　he　pushed　me　away　with　gentle；　firm　hands。　
I　collapsed　back　onto　my　pillow；　gasping；　my　head　spinning。　Something　tugged　
at　my　memory；　elusive；　
on　the　edges。　
〃Sorry；〃　he　said；　and　he　was　breathless；　too。　〃That　was　out　of　line。〃　
〃I　don't　mind；〃　I　panted。　
He　frowned　at　me　in　the　darkness。　〃Try　to　sleep。　Bella。〃　
〃No；　I　want　you　to　kiss　me　again。〃　
〃You're　overestimating　my　self…control。〃　
〃Which　is　tempting　you　more；　my　blood　or　my　body？〃　I　challenged。　
〃It's　a　tie。〃　He　grinned　briefly　in　spite　of　himself；　and　then　was　serious　
again。　〃Now。　why　don't　you　stop　
pushing　your　luck　and　go　to　sleep？〃　
〃Fine；〃　I　agreed；　snuggling　closer　to　him。　I　really　did　feel　exhausted。　It　had　
been　a　long　day　in　so　many　
ways；　yet　I　felt　no　sense　of　relief　at　its　end。　Almost　as　if　something　worse　
was　ing　tomorrow。　It　was　a　
silly　premonition—what　could　be　worse　than　today？'　Just　the　shock　catching　up　
with　me；　no　doubt。　
Trying　to　be　sneaky　about　it；　I　pressed　my　injured　arm　against　his　shoulder；　
so　his　cool　skin　would　sooth　
the　burning。　It　felt　better　at　once。　
I　was　halfway　asleep；　maybe　more；　when　I　realized　what　his　kiss　had　reminded　
me　of：　last　spring；　when　
he'd　had　to　leave　me　to　throw　James　off　my　trail；　Edward　had　kissed　me　
goodbye；　not　knowing　
when—or　if—we　would　see　each　other　again。　This　kiss　had　the　same　almost　
painful　edge　for　some　
reason　I　couldn't　imagine。　I　shuddered　into　unconsciousness；　as　if　I　were　
already　having　a　nightmare。　
　3。　THE　END
I　FELT　ABSOLUTELY　HIDEOUS　IN　THE　MORNING。　I　HADN'T　slept　well；　my　arm　burned　
and　
my　head　ached。　It　didn't　help　my　outlook　that　Edward's　face　was　smooth　and　
remote　as　he　kissed　my　
forehead　quickly　and　ducked　out　my　window。　I　was　afraid　of　the　time　I'd　spent　
unconscious；　afraid　that　
he　might　have　been　thinking　about　right　and　wrong　again　while　he　watched　me　
sleep。　The　anxiety　seemed　
to　ratchet　up　the　intensity　of　the　pounding　in　my　head。　
Edward　was　waiting　for　me　at　school；　as　usual；　but　his　face　was　still　wrong。　
There　was　something　buried　
in　his　eyes　that　I　couldn't　be　sure　of—and　it　scared　me。　I　didn't　want　to　
bring　up　last　night；　but　I　wasn't　
sure　if　avoiding　the　subject　would　be　worse。　
He　opened　my　door　for　me。　
〃How　do　you　feel？〃　
〃Perfect；〃　I　lied；　cringing　as　the　sound　of　the　slamming　door　echoed　in　my　
head。　
We　walked　in　silence；　he　shortening　his　stride　to　match　mine。　There　were　so　
many　questions　I　wanted　to　
ask；　but　most　of　those　questions　would　have　to　wait；　because　chey　were　for　
Alice：　How　was　Jasper　this　
morning？　What　had　they　said　when　I　was　gone？　What　had　Rosalie　said？　And　most　
importantly；　what　
could　she　see　happening　now　in　her　strange；　imperfect　visions　of　the　future？　
Could　she　guess　what　
Edward　was　thinking；　why　he　was　so　gloomy？　Was　there　a　foundation　for　the　
tenuous；　instinctive　fears　
that　I　couldn't　seem　to　shake？　
The　morning　passed　slowly。　I　was　impatient　to　see　Alice；　though　I　wouldn't　be　
able　to　really　talk　to　her　
with　Edward　there。　Edward　remained　aloof。　Occasionally　he　would　ask　about　my　
arm；　and　I　would　lie。　
Alice　usually　beat　us　to　lunch；　she　didn't　have　to　keep　pace　with　a　sloth　like　
me。　But　she　wasn't　at　the　
table；　waiting　with　a　tray　of　food　she　wouldn't　eat。　
Edward　didn't　say　anything　about　her　absence。　I　wondered　to　myself　if　her　
class　was　running　late—until　I　
saw　Conner　and　Ben；　who　were　in　her　fourth　hour　French　class。　
〃Where's　Alice？〃　I　asked　Edward　anxiously。　
He　looked　at　the　granola　bar　he　was　slowly　pulverizing　between　his　fingertips　
while　he　answered。　〃She's　
with　Jasper。〃　
〃Is　he　okay？〃　
〃He's　gone　away　for　a　while。〃　
〃What？　Where？〃　
Edward　shrugged。　〃Nowhere　in　particular。〃　
〃And　Alice；　too；〃　I　said　with　quiet　desperation。　Of　course；　if　Jasper　needed　
her；　she　would　go。　
〃Yes。　She'll　be　gone　for　a　while。　She　was　trying　to　convince　him　to　go　to　
Denali。〃　
Denali　was　where　the　one　other　band　of　unique　vampires—good　ones　like　the　
Cullens—lived。　Tanya　and　
her　family。　I'd　heard　of　them　now　and　again。　Edward　had　run　to　them　last　
winter　when　my　arrival　had　
made　Forks　difficult　for　him。　Laurent；　the　most　civilized　member　of　James's　
little　coven；　had　gone　there　
rather　than　siding　with　James　against　the　Cullens。　It　made　sense　for　Alice　to　
encourage　Jasper　to　go　
there。　
I　swallowed；　trying　to　dislodge　the　sudden　lump　in　my　throat。　The　guilt　made　
my　head　bow　and　my　
shoulders　slump。　I'd　run　them　out　of　their　home；　just　like　Rosalie　and　Emmett。　
I　was　a　plague。　
〃Is　your　arm　bothering　you？〃　he　asked　solicitously。　
〃Who　cares　about　my　stupid　arm？〃　I　muttered　in　disgust。　
He　didn't　answer；　and　I　put　my　head　down　on　the　table。　
By　the　end　of　the　day；　the　silence　was　being　ridiculous。　I　didn't　want　to　
be　the　one　to　break　it；　but　
apparently　that　was　my　only　choice　if　I　ever　wanted　him　to　talk　to　me　again。　
〃You'll　e　over　later　tonight？〃　I　asked　as　he　walked　me—silent