tg.stone of tears-第22部分

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　She　kissed　his　nose。　‘I　didn’t　do　it；　you　did　it。　I　was　just　holding　the　bow　instead　of　you。’
　
　He　smiled。　‘No。　You　did　it。　I　just　showed　your　mind　how。　That’s　what　teaching　is。　I　was　simply　teaching　you。　Do　it　again。’
　
　Kahlan　had　lived　around　wizards　all　her　life。　She　knew　the　way　wizards　did　things。　That　was　the　way　Richard　had　done　it。　He　spoke　to　her　the　way　wizards　spoke。　It　was　the　gift　speaking；　she　knew；　even　if　he　wouldn’t　admit　it。
　
　As　she　shot　more　arrows；　he　talked　less。　Without　his　words　guiding　her；　it　was　harder　to　get　the　feel；　but　now　and　again　she　did。　She　could　tell　when　she　was　doing　it　herself；　without　him。　It　seemed　to　be　as　he　said；　like　intense　concentration。
　
　As　she　started　to　learn　to　block　the　world　out　as　she　aimed；　he　began　to　do　things　to　try　to　distract　her。　At　first　he　just　rubbed　her　stomach。　It　made　her　smile　until　he　told　her　to　stop　thinking　about　what　he　was　doing　and　think　only　about　what　she　must　do。　After　a　few　hours；　she　could　shoot　while　he　tickled　her。　Sometimes。　It　was　an　exhilarating　feeling　to　be　able　to　feel　where　the　arrow　needed　to　be。　She　couldn’t　do　it　very　often；　but　when　it　happened　it　felt　wonderful。　Addictive。
　
　‘It’s　magic；’　she　told　him。　‘That’s　what　you’re　doing。　Magic。’
　
　‘No；　it’s　not。　Everyone　can　do　it。　Chandalen’s　men　are　doing　it　when　they　shoot。　Everyone　who　gets　good　enough　does　it。　It’s　your　own　mind　doing　it。　I　just　helped　by　showing　you。　If　you　had　practiced　long　enough；　you　would　have　learned　it　by　yourself　before　now。　Just　because　you　don’t　know　how　something　is　done　doesn’t　make　it　magic。’
　
　She　gave　him　a　sidelong　glance。　‘I’m　not　so　sure。　You　shoot。　Let　me　tickle　you　while　you　try　to　shoot。’
　
　‘After　we　have　something　to　eat。　And　you　practice　some　more。’
　
　They　flattened　a　circle　of　grass；　like　a　nest；　and　lay　on　their　backs；　watching　the　birds　wheel　in　the　sky　as　they　ate　tava　bread　wrapped　around　greens；　handfuls　of　kuru；　and　drank　water　from　a　skin。　The　surrounding　grass　protected　them　a　little；　so　the　wind　didn’t　feel　quite　so　cold。　She　laid　her　head　on　his　shoulder　as　they　watched　the　sky　in　silence。　She　knew　they　were　both　wondering　what　they　were　going　to　do。
　
　‘Maybe；’　Richard　said　at　last；　‘I　could　partition　my　mind　again；　to　control　the　headaches。　Darken　Rahl　said　that　was　what　I　had　done。’
　
　‘You　talked　to　him？　You　talked　to　Darken　Rahl？’
　
　‘Yes。　Actually；　he　did　most　of　the　talking。　I　mostly　listened。　He　told　me　a　lot　of　things。　I　don’t　believe　all　of　them。　He　told　me　George　Cypher　wasn’t　my　father。　He　told　me　I　had　partitioned　my　mind；　and　that　I　have　the　gift。　He　told　me　I　had　been　betrayed。　Because　of　what　Shota　said　…　that　you　and　Zedd　would　both　use　your　magic　against　me　…　I　thought　one　of　you　had　betrayed　us。　I　never　thought　of　my　brother。
　
　‘Maybe　if　I　could　figure　out　how　to　partition　my　mind　again；　I　could　control　the　headaches　so　they　wouldn’t　kill　me。　Maybe　that’s　what　the　Sisters　teach。　I’ve　already　done　it　once；　so　if　I　could　do　it　again；　I　might　be　able　to　save　myself　without　。。。’
　
　He　rested　an　arm　over　his　eyes；　not　wanting　to　finish　the　thought　out　loud。　‘Kahlan；　maybe　I　don’t　have　the　gift。　It　could　just　be　the　Wizard’s　First　Rule。’
　
　‘What　do　you　mean？’
　
　‘Zedd　told　us　that　much　of　what　people　believe　is　wrong。　The　First　Rule　can　make　you　believe　something　is　true　either　because　you　want　it　to　be　true；　or　because　you’re　afraid　it　might　be。　I’m　afraid　of　having　the　gift；　and　that　fear　makes　me　accept　the　possibility　that　what　the　Sisters　say　is　true。　It　could　be　there　are　other　reasons　the　Sisters　want　me　to　think　I　have　the　gift；　and　that　it　isn’t　true。　Maybe　I　don’t　have　it。’
　
　‘Richard；　do　you　really　think　you　can　dismiss　all　the　other　things　that　have　happened？　Zedd　said　you　have　the　gift；　Darken　Rahl　said　you　have　the　gift；　the　Sisters　say　you　have　the　gift；　even　Scarlet　says　you　have　the　gift。’
　
　‘Scarlet　doesn’t　know　what　she　is　talking　about；　I　don’t　trust　the　Sisters；　and　do　you　think　I　would　believe　anything　Darken　Rahl　said？’
　
　‘And　what　about　Zedd？　Do　you　think　Zedd　is　lying？　Or　that　he　doesn’t　know　what　he　is　talking　about？　You　have　told　me　you　think　he　is　the　smartest　man　you　know。　Besides；　he　is　a　wizard　of　the　First　Order。　Do　you　really　think　a　wizard　of　the　First　Order　wouldn’t　know　the　gift　when　he　saw　it？’
　
　‘Zedd　could　be　wrong。　Just　because　he’s　smart；　that　doesn’t　mean　he　knows　everything。’
　
　Kahlan　thought　a　while　about　his　reluctance　to　accept　that　he　had　the　gift。　She　wished；　for　his　sake；　that　it　could　be　the　way　he　wanted　it；　but　she　knew　the　truth。
　
　‘Richard；　at　the　People’s　Palace；　when　I　touched　you　with　my　power；　and　we　all　thought　it　had　taken　you；　and　didn’t　know　you　had　figured　out　how　not　to　be　consumed　by　the　magic；　you　recited　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　to　Darken　Rahl；　didn’t　you？’　He　nodded。　‘I　couldn’t　believe　you　did　that。　How　did　you　know　it？　Where　did　you　ever　learn　the　book？’
　
　Richard　sighed。　‘When　I　was　young；　my　father　took　me　to　a　place　where　he　had　it　hidden。　He　told　me　it　was　being　guarded　by　a　beast　sent　by　covetous　hands；　to　watch　over　it；　until　that　person　could　e　for　the　book。　So　he　rescued　it。　I　know　now　that　they　were　the　hands　of　Darken　Rahl；　but　at　the　time　we　didn’t　know　that；　my　father　said　he　had　to　take　it　because　otherwise　it　would　be　stolen　by　those　hands。
　
　‘He　feared　that　person　might　eventually　find　it；　so　he　had　me　memorize　it。　All　of　it。　He　said　I　had　to　know　every　word；　so　that　someday　I　could　return　the　knowledge　to　the　keeper　of　the　book。　He　didn’t　know　that　Zedd　was　the　book’s　keeper。　It　took　me　years　to　memorize　every　word　of　the　book。　He　never　looked　in　it；　he　said　that　was　for　only　me　to　do。　After　I　had　learned　it　all　perfectly；　we　burned　the　book。　I’ll　never　forget　that　day。　Light　and　sound　and　strange　forms　came　forth　as　the　book　burned。’
　
　‘Magic；’　she　whispered；　knowingly。
　
　He　nodded　as　he　rested　his　wrist　over　his　eyes　again。　‘My　father　died　keeping　the　book　from　Darken　Rahl。　He　was　a　hero。　He　saved　us　all　by　his　actions。’
　
　Kahlan　tried　to　think　of　how　to　put　words　to　the　things　she　was　thinking；　the　things　she　knew。　‘Zedd　told　us　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　was　kept　in　his　keep。　How　did　your　father　get　it？’
　
　‘He　never　told　me　that。’
　
　‘Richard；　I　was　born　and　raised　in　Aydindril。　I　spent　a　good　portion　of　my　life　in　the　Wizard’s　Keep。　It’s　a　huge　fortress。　In　times　long　ago；　hundreds　of　wizards　lived　there。　When　I　grew　up；　there　were　only　the　six；　and　none　were　wizards　of　the　First　Order。
　
　‘It　is　not　an　easy　place　to　enter。　I　was　able　to　because　I’m　a　Confessor；　and　needed　to　learn　from　books　kept　there。　All　the　Confessors　had　access　to　the　keep。　But　it　was　protected；　by　magic；　from　any　others　entering。’
　
　‘If　you’re　asking；　I　don’t　know　how　my　father　did　it。　He　was　a　pretty　smart　man；　he　must　have　figured　it　out。’
　
　‘If　the　book　was　in　the　Keep　itself；　maybe。　There　were　wizards　and　Confessors　ing　and　going；　and　at　times　others　were　permitted　to　enter。　Perhaps　someone　could　have　found　a　way　to　sneak　in。　Even　once　inside；　there　are　areas　protected　more　strongly　by　magic。　Areas　even　I　could　not　enter。
　
　‘But　Zedd　said　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　was　an　important　book　of　magic；　very　important。　He　said　he　kept　it　in　his　keep：　the　wizard　of　the　First　Order’s　keep。　That　is　altogether　different。　It’s　separate　from　the　rest；　part　of　the　larger　Keep；　but　set　off　by　itself。
　
　‘I’ve　walked　the　long　ramparts　to　the　First　Wizard’s　Keep。　There　is　a　beautiful　view　of　Aydindril　from　there。　Just　walking　the　ramparts；　I　could　feel　the　awesome　power　of　the　spells　that　protect　that　place。　It　made　your　skin　crawl。　If　you　went　close　enough；　the　power　of　the　protection　spells　made　the　hair　lift　off　your　shoulders　and　stick　out　in　all　directions；　popping　and　snapping　with　little　sparks。　If　you　went　closer　still；　the　spells　filled　you　with　a　sensation　of　dread　so　strong　you　couldn’t　force　your　feet　to　take　another　step；　or　your　lungs　to　draw　another　breath。
　
　‘Since　Zedd　left　the　Midlands；　before　we　were　born；　none　had　entered　the　First　Wizard’s　Keep。　The　other　wizards　tried。　To　enter；　there　is　a　plate　you　must　touch。　It　is　said　touching　the　plate　is　like　touching　the　frozen　heart　of　the　Keeper　himself。　If　the　magic　doesn’t　recognize　you　as　one　permitted　entry；　you　cannot　gain　entrance。　Touching　the　plate　without　at　least　the　protection　of　your　own　magic；　or　even　just　getting　close　enough　to　the　spells　themselves；　can　be　death。
　
　‘Since　I　was　young；　and　first　went　to　the　Keep　to　learn　from　the　books；　the　wizards　had　been　trying　to　get　in。　They　wanted　to　know　what　was　inside。　The　First　Wizard　was　gone；　and　they　thought　they　should　take　an　inventory；　thought　they　should　at　least　know　what　was　in　there。
　
　‘They　never　succeeded。　Not　one　of　them　was　ever　able　to　so　much　as　place　a　hand　to　the　plate。　Richard；　if　five　wizards　of　the　Third　Order；　and　one　of　the　Second；　could　not　get　in；　how　did　your　father？’
　
　He　sighed。　‘I　wish　I　had　an　answer　for　you；　Kahlan；　but　I　don’t。’
　
　She　didn’t　want　to　dash　his　hopes；　give　irrefutable　life　to　his　fears；　but　she　had　to。　The　truth　was　the　truth。　He　had　to　know　that　truth　about　himself。
　
　‘Richard；　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　was　a　book　of　instruction　for　magic。　It　was　magic。’
　
　‘I　have　no　doubt　of　that。　I　know　what　I　saw　when　we　burned　it。’
　
　She　stroked　the　back　of　his　hand　with　her　finger。　There　were　other　books　of　instruction　for　magic　in　the　Keep：　less　important　ones。　The　wizards　let　me　look　at　them。　When　I　would　read　them；　I　would　get　to　a　place　in　the　books；　and　a　strange　thing　would　happen；　sometimes　after　only　a　few　words；　sometimes　after　a　few　pages：　I　would　forget　what　I　had　just　read。　I　couldn’t　remember　a　word　of　it。　Not　a　single　word。　I　would　go　back　and　read　it　again；　and　the　same　thing　would　happen。
　
　‘The　wizards　would　smile　watching　me；　and　then　they　would　laugh。　After　a　while　of　trying　to　read　the　books；　and　not　knowing　what　I　had　just　read；　I　finally　got　frustrated　and　asked　what　was　happening。　They　told　me　that　books　of　instruction　for　magic　are　protected　by　powerful　spells　invoked　at　certain　words　in　the　books。　They　said　none　but　one　with　the　gift　could　read　a　book　of　magic　instruction　and　remember　so　much　as　a　single　word。　Those　six　wizards　were　wizards　by　calling；　not　by　the　gift。　Even　they　couldn’t　read　all　the　books　and　know　what　they　said；　only　the　less　important　ones；　and　only　then　because　of　their　training。
　
　‘Zedd　told　us　that　the　Book　of　Counted　Shadows　was　one　of　the　most　important　books　in　the　Keep；　so　important　it　was　kept　in　the　First　Wizard’s　enclave。
　
　‘Richard；　you　would　never　have　been　able　to　memorize　it　if　you　didn’t　have　the　gift。　There　is　no　other　way。　Somehow；　your　father　must　have　known；　that　is　why　he　chose　you　to　learn　it。’
　
　Her　head　was　still　resting　on　his　shoulder；　and　she　felt　his　breathing　halt　for　a　moment　as　he　realized　the　significance　of　what　she　had　told　him。　‘Richard；　do　you　still　remember　the　book？’
　
　His　voice　came　low　and　distant。　‘Every　word。’
　
　Though　I　heard　you　recite　it；　and　I　know　you　spoke　it　all；　I　cannot　remember　a　word　of　what　you　said。　The　magic　of　certain　words　erased　it　all　from　my　mind。　I　don’t　know　how　you　used　it　to　defeat　Darken　Rahl。’
　
　The　first　of　the　book　said　that　if　the　words　were　being　told　to　the　one　who　controlled　the　boxes　of　Orden；　and　not　read　by　that　person；　then　the　only　way　that　person　could　know　the　words　were　true　was　with　the　use　of　a　Confessor。　Rahl　thought　you　had　taken　me　with　your　power；　and　so　he　thought　I　was　speaking　all　the　words　true。　I　did　speak　the　words　true；　but　I　left　out　an　important　part　at　the　end　so　he　would　pick　the　box　that　would　kill　him。’
　
　‘You　see？　You　still　remember　the　words。　You　could　not　do　that　if　you　didn’t　have　the　gift；　the　magic　would　prevent　it。　Richard；　if　we　are　going　to　get　out　of　this；　we　have　to　at　least　face　the　truth；　and　then　think　of　what　to　do　about　it。
　
　‘My　love；　you　have　the　gift。　You　have　magic。　I’m　sorry；　but　that　is　the　truth　of　it。’
　
　He　let　out　an　exasperated　breath。　‘I　guess　I　just　so　badly　didn’t　want　it　to　be　that　I　have　been　trying　to　talk　myself　out　of　it。　But　things　don’t　work　that　way。　I　hope　you　don’t　think　me　a　fool。　Thank　you　for　loving　me　enough　to　make　me　see　the　truth。’
　
　‘You　are　no　fool。　You　are　my　love。　We　will　think　of　something。’　She　kissed　the　back　of　his　hand　and　they　watched　the　sky　in　silence。　It　was　a　dark；　cold　gray；　a　mirror　to　her　mood。
　
　‘I　wish　you　could　have　met　my　father。　He　was　a　special　person。　I　guess　even　I　never　knew　how　special。　I　miss　him。’　He　stared　off　into　his　own　thoughts。　‘What　of　your　father？’
　
　Kahlan　twisted　a　strand　of　her　hair　around　her　finger。　‘My　father　was　mate　to　my　mother；　mate　to　a　Confessor。　He　was　not　a　father　in　the　way　a　man　is　a　father　to　other　children。　He　had　been　taken　by　her　power；　and　there　was　nothing　to　him　but　his　devotion　to　her。　He　paid　heed　to　me　only　to　please　my　mother；　only　because　I　was　born　to　her。　He　didn’t　see　me　as　myself；　but　only　as　a　part　of　the　Confessor　he　was　bonded　to。’
　
　Richard　pulled　a　piece　of　long　grass　and　flattened　the　end　of　it　between　his　front　teeth　as　he　thought；　at　last　asking；　‘Who　was　he　before　she　took　him　with　the　magic？’
　
　‘He　was　Wyborn　Amnell。　King　of　Galea。’
　
　Richard　pushed　himself　up　on　an　elbow；　looking　down　at　her　with　surprise。　‘King！　Your　father　was　a　king？’
　
　Without　realizing　she　was　doing　it；　her　expression　slipped　into　the　calm　exterior　that　showed　nothing：　a　Confessor’s　face。
　
　‘My　father　was　mate　to　a　Confessor。　That　was　all　that　was　in　him。　When　my　mother　was　dying　of　a　terrible　wasting　illness；　he　was　in　a　constant　state　of　panic。　One　day　the　wizard　and　the　healer　who　had　been　tending　her　came　to　us　and　said　there　was　nothing　more　they　could　do；　that　the　spirits　would　soon　take　her　to　be　with　them；　that　she　would　soon　pass　from　life。
　
　‘With　a　wail　of　anguish　like　none　I　have　ever　heard；　my　father　clutched　his　chest　and　fell　to　the　floor；　dead。’
　
　Richard　gazed　into　her　eyes。　‘I’m　sorry；　Kahlan。’　He　bent　and　kissed　her　forehead。　‘I’m　sorry；’　he　whispered。
　
　He　lay　back　once　more　and　put　the　stalk　of　grass　back　between　his　teeth。
　
　‘It　was　a　long　time　ago。’
　
　‘So；　what　does　that　make　you？　Are　you　a　princess；　or　a　queen；　or　something？’
　
　She　laughed　a　little　at　the　question；　at　how　strange　all　this　must　seem　to　him。　He　still　knew　little　of　her　life；　her　world。　‘No。　I　am　the　Mother　Confessor。　The　daughter　of　a　Confessor　is　a　Confessor；　not　the　daughter　of　her　father。’　She　felt　unfortable　about　seeming　to　belittle　her　father。　It　was　not　his　fault　her　mother　had　chosen　and　taken　him。　‘Do　you　wish　to　know　about　him？’
　
　He　shrugged。　‘Sure。　You　are　part　of　him；　too。　I　like　knowing　all　about　you。’
　
　She　thought　a　moment　about　what　his　reaction　would　be。　‘Well；　he　was　the　husband　to　Queen　Bernadine　when　my　mother　chose　him　as　her　mate。’
　
　‘Your　mother　chose　a　man　who　was　already　marri