tg.stone of tears-第52部分

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so　that　he　could　e　to　me　every　new　moon。’
　
　Frowning；　Zedd　studied　the　dregs　in　his　tea　cup。　‘I　met　a　man；　once；　in　Winstead；　the　capital　and　Crown　seat　of　Kelton。　His　name　was　Mathrin。　He　was　a　beggar；　missing　the　fingers　on　one　hand；　as　I　recall。　He　was　blind。　His　eyes　had　been　。。。’　Zedd’s　eyes　suddenly　fixed　on　hers。　She　was　watching　him。　‘His　eyes　had　been　gouged　out。’
　
　Adie　nodded。　‘Indeed　they　had。’　Her　face　was　iron　again。
　
　‘Every　new　moon；　he　came　to　me；　and　I　cut　something　off　him；　letting　his　screams　try　to　fill　the　emptiness　in　me。’
　
　Zedd　leaned　back；　his　hands　pressed　to　the　tabletop。　Iron　indeed。　‘So　you　made　a　new　home　in　Kelton？’
　
　‘No。　I　made　no　home。　I　traveled；　seeking　out　women　with　the　gift；　ones　who　could　help　me　in　my　studies。　None　knew　very　much　of　what　I　sought；　but　each　knew　at　least　a　little　that　others　did　not。
　
　‘Mathrin　followed；　and　every　new　moon　he　came　to　me；　and　I　cut　something　else　from　him。　I　wanted　him　to　live　forever；　to　suffer　forever。　He　be　the　one　who　beat　me；　down　there；　with　his　fists；　so　I　would　lose　Pell’s　child。　He　be　the　one　who　killed　Pell。　He　be　the　one　who　blinded　me。’
　
　Her　white　eyes　shone　red　in　the　lamplight　as　she　stared　off　again。　‘He　be　the　one　who　made　Pell　believe　I　had　betrayed　him。　I　wanted　Mathrin　Galliene　to　suffer　forever。’
　
　Zedd　gestured　vaguely　with　his　hand。　‘How　long　did　he　。。。　last？’
　
　Adie　sighed。　‘Not　long　enough；　and　too　long。’　Zedd　frowned。　‘One　day；　a　thought　occurred　to　me：　I　had　never　used　the　gift　to　prevent　Mathrin　from　killing　himself。　Why　would　he　still　e　to　me？　Let　me　make　him　to　suffer　like　I　did？　Why　would　he　not　simply　end　it？　So；　the　next　time　he　came；　and　I　cut　something　else　off；　I　also　cut　the　bond。　Cut　his　need　to　e　the　next　time。　But　I　did　it　in　a　way　so　as　he　would　not　notice；　so　he　could　simply　forget　about　me；　if　he　wished。’
　
　‘So　that　was　the　last　you　saw　of　him？’
　
　She　gave　a　grim　shake　of　her　head。　‘No。　I　thought　it　would　be；　but　he　returned　with　the　next　new　moon。　Returned　when　he　needn’t　have。　It　made　my　blood　run　cold；　to　wonder　why。　I　decided　that　it　be　time　for　him　to　pay　with　his　life　for　what　he　had　done　to　me；　and　Pell；　and　all　the　others。　But　I　resolved　that　before　he　gave　me　his　life；　he　would　give　me　the　answer。
　
　‘In　my　travels；　I　had　learned　many　things。　Things　for　which　I　thought　I　would　never　have　use。　That　night　I　found　use。　I　used　them　to　learn　what　torture　Mathrin　feared　above　all　others。　The　trick　be　used　to　learn　fears；　but　be　useless　to　learn　other　secrets。　Against　his　will；　the　words　tumbled　out　of　him；　his　fears　spilled　out。
　
　‘I　left　him　to　sweat　all　that　night　and　the　whole　next　day　while　I　went　in　search　of　the　things　I　needed：　the　things　he　feared　above　all　else。　When　I　finally　returned　with　them；　he　be　nearly　insane　with　fright。　His　fears　be　well　founded。　I　asked　him　to　confess　his　secret。　He　said　no。
　
　‘I　dumped　out　the　sack；　put　the　little　cages　and　the　other　things　in　front　of　him　as　he　sat　naked　and　helpless　on　the　floor。　I　picked　up　each；　held　it　before　his　sightless　face；　and　described　it；　told　him　what　be　in　each　little　cage　or　basket　or　jar。　Again　I　asked　him　to　confess。　He　be　sweating　and　panting　and　shaking；　but　he　said　no。　Mathrin　thought　I　be　bluffing；　that　I　did　not　have　the　courage。　Mathrin　be　wrong。
　
　‘I　steeled　myself；　and　brought　his　worst　fears　to　life　for　him。’
　
　Zedd’s　brow　bunched　up　into　wrinkles。　Curiosity　won　out　over　dread。　‘What　did　you　do？’
　
　She　lifted　her　head　to　look　into　his　eyes。　That　be　the　one　thing　I　will　not　tell　you。　It　not　be　important　anyway。
　
　‘Mathrin　would　not　talk；　and　suffered　so　much　that　I　almost　stopped　several　times。　Each　time　I　wanted　to　stop；　I　thought　about　the　last　thing　my　eyes　had　seen　before　he　blinded　me：　Pell’s　head　held　in　Mathrin’s　fist　before　me。’　Adie　swallowed；　her　voice　so　low　Zedd　could　hardly　hear　her。　‘And　I　remembered　Pell’s　last　words：　‘I　will　not　say　that　of　her　to　save　my　life。　Even　though　she　has　betrayed　me。’’
　
　She　closed　her　eyes　for　a　moment。　They　came　open　and　she　went　on。　‘Mathrin　be　on　the　edge　of　death。　I　thought　he　was　not　going　to　tell　me　why　he　came　to　me。　But　just　before　he　died；　he　became　still；　despite　what　was　being　done　to　him。　And　then　he　said　he　would　tell　me；　because　he　be　about　to　die；　because　this；　too；　had　been　by　plan。　I　asked　him　again　why　he　had　e　back。
　
　‘He　leaned　toward　me。　‘Don’t　you　know；　Adie？’　he　asked　me。　‘Don’t　you　know　what　I　be？　I　be　a　baneling。　I　have　been　hiding　right　under　your　nose　all　this　time。　You　have　kept　me　near　you　all　this　time；　and　the　Keeper　knew　right　where　you　be。　The　Keeper　lusts　for　those　with　the　gift　above　all　else。’　I　had　thought　that　that　be　it；　that　he　be　a　baneling。　I　told　him　he　had　failed；　it　had　done　him　no　good；　as　he　be　about　to　die　for　his　crimes。
　
　‘He　smiled　at　me。’　She　leaned　forward。　‘Smiled！　And　he　said；　‘You　be　wrong　Adie。　I　have　not　failed。　I　have　done　the　Keeper’s　bidding。　I　have　fulfilled　my　task。　Perfectly。　All　this　be　by　plan。　I　have　made　you　do　exactly　as　he　wished。　I　shall　be　rewarded。　I　be　the　one　who　started　the　fire　when　you　be　little。　I　be　the　one　who　did　those　things　to　Pell。　Not　because　I　thought　him　or　you　a　baneling。　I　be　the　baneling。　I　did　it　to　make　you　break　your　oath。　To　make　you　wele　the　Keeper’s　hate　into　your　heart。
　
　‘‘Breaking　your　oath　be　the　first　step；　and　look　what　you　have　done　since。　Look　at　what　you　be　doing　right　now。　Look　at　how　far　you　have　slipped　toward　him。　You　be　within　his　grasp　now。　You　may　not　have　given　him　your　oath；　but　you　do　his　bidding。　You　have　bee　what　you　hate。　You　have　bee　me；　you　be　a　baneling。　The　Keeper　smiles　upon　you；　Adie；　and　thanks　you　for　weling　him　into　your　heart。’　Mathrin　slumped；　and　fell　back；　dead。’
　
　Adie　dissolved　into　tears；　her　head　sagging　into　her　hands。　Zedd　unlocked　his　joints　and　swept　around　the　table；　holding　her　to　him　as　he　stood　next　to　her；　holding　her　head　against　his　stomach；　stroking　her　hair；　forting　her　as　she　cried。
　
　‘Not　so；　dear　lady。　Not　so　at　all。’
　
　She　wept　against　his　robes；　shaking　her　head。　‘You　think　you　be　so　smart；　wizard？　You　not　be　so　smart　as　you　think。　You　be　wrong　about　this。’
　
　Zedd　knelt　beside　her　chair；　holding　her　hands　in　his；　looking　up　into　her　stricken　face。　‘I’m　smart　enough　to　know　that　the　Keeper；　or　one　of　his　minions；　would　not　let　you　have　the　satisfaction　of　knowing　you　had　won　a　battle　against　him。’
　
　‘But　I　。。。’
　
　‘You　fought　back。　You　struck　out　from　your　hurt；　not　for　a　lust　of　the　things　you　did。　Not　for　a　want　to　help　the　Keeper。’
　
　Her　brow　wrinkled　together　with　her　effort　to　stop　the　tears。　‘You　be　so　sure？　Sure　enough　to　trust　one　such　as　I？’
　
　Zedd　smiled。　‘I’m　sure。　I　may　not　know　everything；　but　I　know　you　are　no　baneling。　You　are　the　victim；　not　the　criminal。’
　
　She　shook　her　head。　‘I　not　be　so　sure　as　you。’
　
　After　Mathrin　died；　did　you　go　on　killing？　Seeking　vengeance　against　any　innocent？’
　
　‘No；　of　course　not。’
　
　‘Had　you　been　an　agent；　you　would　have　given　yourself　over　to　the　Keeper；　to　his　wishes；　and　gone　on　to　hurt　those　who　fought　him。　You　are　no　baneling；　dear　lady。　My　heart　weeps　for　the　things　the　Keeper　took　from　you；　but　he　did　not　take　your　soul；　that　is　still　yours。　Put　those　fears　aside。’
　
　He　held　her　hands　and　gave　them　soft　squeezes。　She　didn’t　try　to　take　her　hands　back；　but　let　them　stay　in　his；　as　if　to　soak　up　the　fort　as　they　trembled。
　
　Adie　wiped　the　tears　from　her　cheek。　‘Pour　me　some　more　tea？　But　no　more　powdered　cloud　leaf；　or　I　will　fall　asleep　before　I　can　finish　the　story。’
　
　Zedd　arched　an　eyebrow。　She　had　known　what　he　had　done。　He　patted　her　shoulder　as　he　rose　to　his　feet。　He　poured　her　tea　and　then　pulled　his　chair　forward　and　sat　again　while　she　sipped。
　
　After　she　drank　half　of　her　cup；　she　looked　to　have　regained　her　control。　‘The　war　with　D’Hara　be　burning　hot；　but　it　be　near　the　end。　I　felt　the　boundary　go　up。　Felt　it　e　into　this　world。’
　
　‘So　you　came　here　right　after　the　boundary　went　up？’
　
　‘No。　I　studied　with　a　few　women　first。　Some　taught　me　a　few　things　about　bones。’　She　pulled　a　little　necklace　from　under　her　robes。　She　fingered　the　small；　round　bone；　with　red　and　yellow　beads　to　each　side。　It　was　just　like　the　one　she　had　given　him　to　get　him　through　the　pass。　He　still　wore　it　around　his　neck。　‘This　be　a　bone　from　the　base　of　a　skull　like　that　on　the　shelf　over　there；　the　one　that　fell　on　the　floor。　The　beast　be　called　a　skrin。　Skrin　be　guardian　beasts　to　the　underworld；　something　like　the　heart　hounds；　except　they　guard　in　both　directions。　The　best　way　to　explain　it　is　that　they　be　part　of　the　veil；　though　that　not　be　accurate。　In　this　world　they　be　solid；　have　form；　but　in　the　other；　they　be　only　a　force。’
　
　Zedd　frowned。　‘Force？’
　
　Adie　held　out　her　spoon　and　let　it　drop　on　the　table。　‘Force。　We　cannot　see　it；　but　force　be　there。　It　makes　the　spoon　drop；　and　keeps　it　from　flying　up　into　the　air。　It　cannot　be　seen；　but　it　be　there。　Something　like　that　with　the　skrin。
　
　‘On　rare　occasions；　in　their　duty　to　repel　all　from　the　cusp　where　the　world　of　the　living　and　the　world　of　the　dead　touch；　they　be　pulled　into　this　world。　Few　people　know　of　them　because　it　so　rarely　happens。’　Zedd　was　frowning。　‘It　be　very　plex。　I　will　explain　it　better　another　time。　The　important　thing　be　that　this　bone　from　the　skrin　hides　you　from　them。’
　
　Adie　took　a　sip　of　her　tea　while　Zedd　pulled　his　necklace　out　of　his　robes；　taking　a　new　look　at　it。　‘And　it　must　hide　you　from　other　beasts；　too；　to　get　through　the　pass？’　She　nodded。　‘How　did　you　know　about　the　pass？　I　put　the　boundary　up；　and　I　didn’t　know　the　pass　existed。’
　
　She　turned　the　teacup　around　and　around　in　her　fingers。　‘After　I　left　my　grandmother；　I　sought　out　women　with　the　gift；　women　who　could　teach　me　things　about　the　world　of　the　dead。　After　Mathrin　died；　I　studied　harder；　with　more　urgency。　Each　woman　could　tell　me　only　what　small　bit　she　knew；　but　they　usually　knew　one　who　knew　more。　I　traveled　the　Midlands；　going　among　them；　gathering　knowledge。　I　collected　all　those　bits　of　knowledge；　piecing　them　together。　In　this　manner；　I　learned　a　little　of　how　the　worlds　interact。
　
　‘By　putting　up　a　boundary　across　parts　of　this　world；　it　be　a　little　like　stoppering　up　a　teakettle　and　then　putting　it　on　the　fire。　Without　a　vent；　something　will　blow　off。　I　knew　that　if　there　be　magic　wise　enough　to　know　how　to　bring　the　underworld　into　this；　it　must　have　a　way　to　equalize　each　side　of　the　boundary。　A　vent　of　some　sort。　A　pass。’
　
　Zedd　lifted　an　eyebrow；　staring　off　into　his　thoughts；　as　he　drew　his　thumb　down　his　chin。　‘Of　course。　That　makes　sense。　Balance。　All　force；　all　magic；　must　be　balanced。’　He　focused　his　eyes　on　her。　‘When　I　brought　up　the　boundary；　I　was　using　magic　I　didn’t　fully　understand。　It　was　in　an　ancient　book；　from　the　wizards　of　old；　who　had　more　power　than　I　can　fathom。　Using　their　instructions　to　bring　up　the　boundary　was　an　act　of　desperation。’
　
　‘It　be　hard　for　me　to　imagine　you　being　desperate。’
　
　‘Sometimes；　that’s　all　life　is：　one　desperate　act　after　another。’
　
　Adie　nodded。　‘Perhaps　you　be　right。　I　was　desperate　to　hide　from　the　Keeper。　I　remembered　what　Mathrin　had　said：　he　be　hiding　right　under　my　nose。　I　reasoned　that　the　safest　place　for　me　to　hide　from　the　Keeper　would　be　where　he　wouldn’t　look：　right　under　his　nose；　right　at　the　edge　of　his　world。　So　I　came　to　the　pass。
　
　‘The　pass　did　not　be　this　world；　yet　it　did　not　be　the　underworld　either。　It　be　a　mix　of　both。　A　place　where　both　worlds　boiled　together　a　little　bit。　With　the　bones；　I　be　able　to　hide　from　the　Keeper。　He　and　the　beasts　from　his　world　could　not　see　me。’
　
　‘Hide？’　The　woman　had　more　iron　in　her　than　the　kettle　hanging　on　the　fire。　If　he　knew　Adie；　there　was　more　to　it。　Zedd　gave　her　a　stern　stare。　‘You　came　here；　simply　to　hide？’
　
　She　averted　her　eyes　as　she　fingered　the　small；　round　bone　on　her　necklace；　and　then　at　last　tucked　it　back　into　her　robes。　There　be　another　reason。　I　made　an　oath。　To　myself。　I　swore　I　would　find　a　way　to　contact　my　Pell；　to　tell　him　I　did　not　betray　him。’　She　took　a　long　swallow　of　tea。　‘I　have　spent　most　of　my　life　here；　in　the　pass；　trying　to　find　a　way　to　reach　into　the　world　of　the　dead；　to　tell　him。　The　pass　be　part　of　that　world。’
　
　Zedd　pushed　at　his　cup　with　a　finger。　‘The　boundary；　the　pass；　is　gone；　Adie。　I　need　your　help　in　this　world。’
　
　She　laid　her　arms　on　the　table。　‘When　you　grew　my　foot　back　for　me；　it　brought　back　everything　that　had　happened；　made　it　fresh；　as　if　I　be　reliving　it。　It　made　me　remember　some　things　I　had　forgotten　for　a　long　time。　It　made　me　remember　hurts　that　still　be　there；　though　time　had　dimmed　them。’
　
　‘I’m　sorry；　Adie；’　he　whispered。　‘I　should　have　taken　your　past　into　consideration；　but　I　didn’t　suspect　you　had　lived　through　that　much　pain。　Forgive　me。’
　
　There　be　nothing　to　forgive。　You　gave　me　a　gift　by　giving　me　my　foot　back。　You　did　not　know　the　things　I　have　done。　It　not　be　your　fault　I　did　them。　You　did　not　know　I　be　a　baneling。’
　
　He　cast　her　a　harsh　glare。　‘You　think　that　because　you　have　fought　back　against　wickedness；　you　have　bee　wicked？’
　
　‘I　have　done　worse　than　a　man　like　you　can　understand。’
　
　Zedd　nodded　slightly。　‘Is　that　so。　Let　me　tell　you　a　little　story。　I　had　a　love　once；　like　your　Pell。　Her　name　was　Erilyn。　My　time　with　her　was　like　your　time　with　Pell。’　A　slow　smile　came　to　his　lips；　as　his　memory　touched　the　mist　of　those　pleasant　times。　The　smile　withered。　‘Until　Panis　Rahl　sent　a　quad　after　her。’
　
　Adie　reached　out　and　laid　a　hand　on　his。　‘Zedd；　you　do　not　need　to　。。。’
　
　Zedd　brought　his　other　fist　down　on　the　table；　making　the　cups　jump。　‘You　can’t　imagine　what　the　four　of　them　did　to　her。’　He　leaned　forward；　his　face　standing　out　red　against　his　white　hair。　He　ground　his　teeth　together。　‘I　hunted　them　down。　What　I　did　to　each　of　them　would　make　whatever　you　did　to　Mathrin　seem　a　lark。　I　went　after　Panis　Rahl；　but　couldn’t　reach　him；　so　I　went　after　his　armies。　For　every　man　you　killed；　Adie；　I　killed　a　thousand。　Even　my　own　side　feared　me。　I　was　the　wind　of　death。　I　did　what　was　needed　to　stop　Panis　Rahl。　And　maybe　more。’
　
　He　settled　his　weight　back　in　the　chair。　‘If　there　is　such　a　thing　as　a　man　of　virtue；　you　do　not　sit　with　him　now。’
　
　‘You　did　only　what　you　had　to。　That　does　not　diminish　your　virtue。’
　
　He　arched　an　eyebrow。　‘Wise　words；　spoken　by　a　wise　woman。　Perhaps　you　should　listen　to　them。’　She　remained　silent。　He　put　his　elbows　on　the　table　and　idly　picked　up　the　cup；　rolling　it　in　his　palms　as　he　went　on。　‘In　a　way；　I　was　luckier　than　you。　I　had　more　time　with　my　Erilyn。　And　I　didn’t　lose　my　daughter。’
　
　‘Panis　Rahl　did　not　try　to　kill　your　daughter；　too？’
　
　‘Yes。　Indeed；　he　thought　he　had。　I　。。。　cast　a　death　spell。　To　make　them　think　they　had　seen　her　death。　It　was　the　only　way　to　protect　her；　to　keep　them　from　trying　until　they　succeeded。’
　
　A　death　spell　。。。