5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第19部分

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u　and　Alice　cheat；　Rose　never　wants　to　get　her　hair　messed　up；　and　Esme　gets　mad　if　Jasper　and　I　really　go　at　it。　Life　is　hard　all　around；　isn　t　it？　Emmett　grinned　at　me；　shifting　his　weight　a　bit　so　that　he　was　suddenly　poised　to　take　a　charge。　C　mon　Edward。　Just　turn　it　off　for　one　minute　and　fight　fair。　It　doesn　t　turn　off；　I　reminded　him。　Wonder　what　that　human　girl　does　to　keep　you　out？　could　give　me　some　pointers。　My　good　humor　vanished。　Touchy；　touchy。　I　sighed。　Emmett　came　to　sit　beside　me　on　the　rock。　Emmett　mused。　Maybe　she　Stay　away　from　her；　I　growled　through　my　teeth。　Sorry。　I　know　you　re　going　through　a　tough　spot。　I　really　am　trying　to　not　be　too　much　of　an　insensitive　jerk；　but；　since　that　s　sort　of　my　natural　state　He　waited　for　me　to　laugh　at　his　joke；　and　then　made　a　face。　So　serious　all　the　time。　Thinking　about　her。　What　s　bugging　you　now？　Well；　worrying；　really。　You　are　here。　He　laughed　loudly。　What　s　there　to　worry　about？　I　ignored　his　joke　again；　but　answered　his　question。　Have　you　ever　thought　about　how　fragile　they　all　are？　How　many　bad　things　there　are　that　can　happen　to　a　mortal？　Not　really。　I　guess　I　see　what　you　mean；　though。　that　first　time　around；　was　I？　I　wasn　t　much　match　for　a　bear　Bears；　I　muttered；　adding　a　new　fear　to　the　pile。　That　would　be　just　her　luck；　wouldn　t　it？　Stray　bear　in　town。　Of　course　it　would　head　straight　for　Bella。　Emmett　chuckled。　You　sound　like　a　crazy　person；　do　you　know　that？　Just　imagine　for　one　minute　that　Rosalie　was　human；　Emmett。　And　she　could　run　into　a　bear　or　get　hit　by　a　car　or　lightening　or　fall　down　stairs　or　get　sick　get　a　disease！　The　words　burst　from　me　stormily。　It　was　a　relief　to　let　them　out　they　d　been　festering　inside　me　all　weekend。　Fires　and　earthquakes　and　tornados！　Ugh！　When　s　the　last　time　you　watched　the　news？　Have　you　seen　the

kinds　of　things　that　happen　to　them？　Burglaries　and　homicides　My　teeth　clenched　together；　and　I　was　abruptly　so　infuriated　by　the　idea　of　another　human　hurting　her　that　I　couldn　t　breathe。　Whoa；　whoa！　Hold　up；　there；　kid。　rained　on。　He　shrugged。　She　lives　in　Forks；　remember？　So　she　gets　I　think　she　has　some　serious　bad　luck；　Emmett；　I　really　do。　Look　at　the　evidence。　Of　all　the　places　in　the　world　she　could　go；　she　ends　up　in　a　town　where　vampires　make　up　a　significant　portion　of　the　population。　Yeah；　but　we　re　vegetarians。　So　isn　t　that　good　luck；　not　bad？　With　the　way　she　smells？　Definitely　bad。　And　then；　more　bad　luck；　the　way　she　smells　to　me。　I　glowered　at　my　hands；　hating　them　again。　Except　that　you　have　more　selfcontrol　than　just　about　anyone　but　Carlisle。　luck　again。　The　van？　That　was　just　an　accident。　You　should　have　seen　it　ing　for　her；　Em；　again　and　again。　like　she　had　some　kind　of　magic　pull。　But　you　were　there。　That　was　good　luck。　I　swear；　it　was　Good　Was　it？　Isn　t　this　the　worst　luck　any　human　could　ever　possibly　have　to　have　a　vampire　fall　in　love　with　them？　Emmett　considered　that　quietly　for　a　moment。　He　pictured　the　girl　in　his　head；　and　found　the　image　uninteresting。　Honestly；　I　can　t　really　see　the　draw。　Well；　I　can　t　really　see　Rosalie　s　allure；　either；　I　said　rudely。　she　seems　like　more　work　than　any　pretty　face　is　worth。　Emmett　chuckled。　I　don　t　suppose　you　d　tell　me　Honestly；　I　don　t　know　what　her　problem　is；　Emmett；　I　lied　with　a　sudden；　wide　grin。　I　saw　his　intent　in　time　to　brace　myself。　He　tried　to　shove　me　off　the　rock；　and　there　was　a　loud　cracking　sound　as　a　fissure　opened　in　the　stone　between　us。　Cheater；　he　muttered。　I　waited　for　him　to　try　another　time；　but　his　thoughts　took　a　different　direction。　He　was　picturing　Bella　s　face　again；　but　imagining　it　whiter；　imagining　her　eyes　bright　red　No；　I　said；　my　voice　strangled。　It　solves　your　worries　about　mortality；　doesn　t　it？　to　kill　her；　either。　Isn　t　that　the　best　way？　And　then　you　wouldn　t　want

For　me？　Or　for　her？　His　tone　added　the　of　course。　For　you；　he　answered　easily。　I　laughed　humorlessly。　Wrong　answer。　I　didn　t　mind　so　much；　he　reminded　me。　Rosalie　did。　He　sighed。　We　both　knew　that　Rosalie　would　do　anything；　give　up　anything；　if　it　meant　she　could　be　human　again。　Even　Emmett。　Yeah；　Rose　did；　he　acquiesced　quietly。　I　can　t　I　shouldn　t　I　m　not　going　to　ruin　Bella　s　life。　the　same；　if　it　were　Rosalie？　Emmett　thought　about　that　for　a　moment。　You　really　love　her？　Wouldn　t　you　feel　I　can　t　even　describe　it；　Emmett。　All　of　a　sudden；　this　girl　s　the　whole　world　to　me。　I　don　t　see　the　point　of　the　rest　of　the　world　without　her　anymore。　But　you　won　t　change　her？　I　know　that；　I　groaned。　And；　as　you　ve　pointed　out；　she　s　sort　of　breakable。　Trust　me　that　I　know；　too。　Emmett　was　not　a　tactful　person；　and　delicate　discussions　were　not　his　forte。　struggled　now；　wanting　very　much　not　to　be　offensive。　Can　you　even　touch　her？　her　？　He　She　won　t　last　forever；　Edward。　I　mean；　if　you　love　her　wouldn　t　you　want　to；　well　touch　Emmett　and　Rosalie　shared　an　intensely　physical　love。　He　had　a　hard　time　understanding　how　one　could　love；　without　that　aspect。　I　sighed。　Wow。　I　can　t　even　think　of　that；　Emmett。　So　what　are　your　options；　then？　I　I　don　t　know；　I　whispered。　I　m　trying　to　figure　out　a　way　to　to　leave　her。　just　can　t　fathom　how　to　make　myself　stay　away　With　a　deep　sense　of　gratification；　I　suddenly　realized　that　it　was　right　for　me　to　stay　at　least　for　now；　with　Peter　and　Charlotte　on　their　way。　She　was　safer　with　me　here；　temporarily；　than　she　would　be　if　I　were　gone。　For　the　moment；　I　could　be　her　unlikely　protector。　The　thought　made　me　anxious；　I　itched　to　be　back　so　that　I　could　fill　that　role　for　as　long　as　possible。　Emmett　noticed　the　change　in　my　expression。　What　are　you　thinking　about？　Right　now；　I　admitted　a　bit　sheepishly；　I　m　dying　to　run　back　to　Forks　and

check　on　her。　Uhuh！　Please！　I　don　t　know　if　I　ll　make　it　till　Sunday　night。　Let　Rosalie　cool　down　a　little　bit。　You　are　not　going　home　early。　For　my　sake。　I　ll　try　to　stay；　I　said　doubtfully。　Emmett　tapped　the　phone　in　my　pocket。　Alice　would　call　if　there　were　any　basis　for　your　panic　attack。　She　s　as　weird　about　this　girl　as　you　are。　I　grimaced　at　that。　Fine。　But　I　m　not　staying　past　Sunday。　Alice　said　we　There　s　no　point　in　hurrying　back　it　s　going　to　be　sunny；　anyway。　were　free　from　school　until　Wednesday。　I　shook　my　head　rigidly。　Peter　and　Charlotte　know　how　to　behave　themselves。　I　really　don　t　care；　Emmett。　With　Bella　s　luck；　she　ll　go　wandering　off　into　the　woods　at　exactly　the　wrong　moment　and　I　flinched。　Peter　isn　t　known　for　his　selfcontrol。　I　m　going　back　Sunday。　Emmett　sighed。　Exactly　like　a　crazy　person。　Bella　was　sleeping　peacefully　when　I　climbed　up　to　her　bedroom　window　early　Monday　morning。　I　d　remembered　oil　this　time；　and　the　window　now　moved　silently　out　of　my　way。　I　could　tell　by　the　way　her　hair　lay　smooth　across　the　pillow　that　she　d　had　a　less　restless　night　than　the　last　time　I　was　here。　She　had　her　hands　folded　under　her　cheek　like　a　small　child；　and　her　mouth　was　slightly　open。　I　could　hear　her　breath　moving　slowly　in　and　out　between　her　lips。　It　was　an　amazing　relief　to　be　here；　to　be　able　to　see　her　again。　I　realized　that　I　wasn　t　truly　at　ease　unless　that　was　the　case。　Nothing　was　right　when　I　was　away　from　her。　Not　that　all　was　right　when　I　was　with　her；　either；　though。　I　sighed；　letting　the　thirst　fire　rake　through　my　throat。　I　d　been　away　from　it　too　long。　The　time　spent　without　pain　and　temptation　made　it　all　the　more　forceful　now。　It　was　bad　enough　that　I　was　afraid　to　go　kneel　beside　her　bed　so　that　I　could　read　the　titles　of　her　books。　I　wanted　to　know　the　stories　in　her　head；　but　I　was　afraid　of　more　than　my　thirst；　afraid　that　if　I　let　myself　get　that　close　to　her；　I　would　want　to　be　closer　still　Her　lips　looked　very　soft　and　warm。　my　finger。　Just　lightly　I　could　imagine　touching　them　with　the　tip　of　That　was　exactly　the　kind　of　mistake　that　I　had　to　avoid。　My　eyes　ran　over　her　face　again　and　again；　examining　it　for　changes。　changed　all　the　time　I　was　sad　at　the　thought　of　missing　anything　I　thought　she　looked　tired。　Had　she　gone　out？　Mortals　Like　she　hadn　t　gotten　enough　sleep　this　weekend。　So　what　if　she　had？　I　I　laughed　silently　and　wryly　at　how　much　that　upset　me。

didn　t　own　her。　She　wasn　t　mine。　No；　she　wasn　t　mine　and　I　was　sad　again。　One　of　her　hands　twitched；　and　I　noticed　that　there　were　shallow；　barely　healed　scrapes　across　the　heel　of　her　palm。　She　d　been　hurt？　Even　though　it　was　obviously　not　a　serious　injury；　it　still　disturbed　me。　I　considered　the　location；　and　decided　she　must　have　tripped。　That　seemed　a　reasonable　explanation；　all　things　considered。　It　was　forting　to　think　that　I　wouldn　t　have　to　puzzle　over　either　of　these　small　mysteries　forever。　We　were　friends　now　or；　at　least；　trying　to　be　friends。　I　could　ask　her　about　her　weekend　about　the　beach；　and　whatever　late　night　activity　had　made　her　look　so　weary。　I　could　ask　what　had　happened　to　her　hands。　And　I　could　laugh　a　little　when　she　confirmed　my　theory　about　them。　I　smiled　gently　as　I　wondered　whether　or　not　she　had　fallen　in　the　ocean。　I　wondered　if　she　d　had　a　pleasant　time　on　the　outing。　I　wondered　if　she　d　thought　about　me　at　all。　If　she　d　missed　me　even　the　tiniest　portion　of　the　amount　that　I　d　missed　her。　I　tried　to　picture　her　in　the　sun　on　the　beach。　The　picture　was　inplete；　though；　because　I　d　never　been　to　First　Beach　myself。　I　only　knew　how　it　looked　in　pictures　I　felt　a　tiny　qualm　of　unease　as　I　thought　about　the　reason　why　I　d　never　once　been　to　the　pretty　beach　located　just　a　few　minutes　run　from　my　home。　Bella　had　spent　the　day　at　La　Push　a　place　where　I　was　forbidden；　by　treaty；　to　go。　A　place　where　a　few　old　men　still　remembered　the　stories　about　the　Cullens；　remembered　and　believed　them。　A　place　where　our　secret　was　known　I　shook　my　head。　I　had　nothing　to　worry　about　there。　The　Quileutes　were　bound　by　treaty；　too。　Even　had　Bella　run　into　one　of　those　aging　sages；　they　could　reveal　nothing。　And　why　would　the　subject　ever　be　broached？　Why　would　Bella　think　to　voice　her　curiosity　there？　No　the　Quileutes　were　perhaps　the　one　thing　I　did　not　have　to　worry　about。　I　was　angry　with　the　sun　when　it　began　to　rise。　It　reminded　me　that　I　could　not　satisfy　my　curiosity　for　days　to　e。　Why　did　it　choose　to　shine　now？　With　a　sigh；　I　ducked　out　her　window　before　it　was　light　enough　for　anyone　to　see　me　here。　I　meant　to　stay　in　the　thick　forest　by　her　house　and　see　her　off　to　school；　but　when　I　got　into　the　trees；　I　was　surprised　to　find　the　trace　of　her　scent　lingering　on　the　trail　there。　I　followed　it　quickly；　curiously；　being　more　and　more　worried　as　it　led　deeper　into　the　darkness。　What　had　Bella　been　doing　out　here？　The　trail　stopped　abruptly；　in　the　middle　of　nowhere　in　particular。　She　d　gone　just　a　few　steps　off　the　trail；　into　the　ferns；　where　she　d　touched　the　trunk　of　a　fallen　tree。　Perhaps　sat　there　I　sat　where　she　had；　and　looked　around。　All　she　would　have　been　able　to　see　was　ferns　and　forest。　It　had　probably　been　raining　the　scent　was　washed　out；　having　never　set　deeply　into　the　tree。

Why　would　Bella　have　e　to　sit　here　alone　and　she　had　been　alone；　no　doubt　about　that　in　the　middle　of　the　wet；　murky　forest？　It　made　no　sense；　and；　unlike　those　other　points　of　curiosity；　I　could　hardly　bring　this　up　in　casual　conversation。　So；　Bella；　I　was　following　your　scent　through　the　woods　after　I　left　your　room　where　I　d　been　watching　you　sleep　Yes；　that　would　be　quite　the　ice　breaker。　I　would　never　know　what　she　d　been　thinking　and　doing　here；　and　that　had　my　teeth　grinding　together　in　frustration。　Worse；　this　was　far　too　much　like　the　scenario　I　d　imagined　for　Emmett　Bella　wandering　alone　in　the　woods；　where　her　scent　would　call　to　anyone　who　had　the　senses　to　track　it　I　groaned。　Not　only　did　she　have　bad　luck；　but　she　courted　it。　Well；　for　this　moment　she　had　a　protector。　I　would　watch　over　her；　keep　her　from　harm；　for　as　long　as　I　could　justify　it。　I　suddenly　found　myself　wishing　that　Peter　and　Charlotte　would　make　an　extended　stay。

8。　Ghost　I　did　not　see　much　of　Jasper　s　guests　for　the　two　sunny　days　that　they　were　in　Forks。　I　only　went　home　at　all　so　that　Esme　wouldn　t　worry。　Otherwise；　my　existence　seemed　more　like　that　of　a　specter　than　a　vampire。　I　hovered；　invisible　in　the　shadows；　where　I　could　follow　the　object　of　my　love　and　obsession　where　I　could　see　her　and　hear　her　in　the　minds　of　the　lucky　humans　who　could　walk　through　the　sunlight　beside　her；　sometimes　accidentally　brushing　the　back　of　her　hand　with　their　own。　She　never　reacted　to　such　contact；　their　hands　were　just　as　warm　as　hers。　The　enforced　absence　from　school　had　never　been　a　trial　like　this　before。　But　the　sun　seemed　to　make　her　happy；　so　I　could　not　resent　it　too　much。　Anything　that　pleased　her　was　in　my　good　graces。　Monday　morning；　I　eavesdropped　on　a　conversation　that　had　the　potential　to　destroy　my　confidence　and　make　the　time　spent　away　from　her　a　torture。　As　it　ended　up；　though；　it　rather　made　my　day。　I　had　to　feel　some　little　respect　for　Mike　Newton；　he　had　not　simply　given　up　and　slunk　away　to　nurse　his　wounds。　He　had　more　bravery　than　I　d　given　him　credit　for。　He　was　going　to　try　again。　Bella　got　to　school　quite　early　and；　seeming　intent　on　enjoying　the　sun　while　it　lasted；　sat　at　one　of　the　seldom　used　piic　benches　while　she　waited　for　the　first　bell　to　ring。　Her　hair　caught　the　sun　in　unexpected　ways；　giving　off　a　reddish　shine　that　I　had　not　anticipated。　Mike　found　her　there；　doodling　again；　and　was　thrilled　at　his　good　luck。　It　was　agonizing　to　only　be　able　to　watch；　powerless；　bound　to　the　forest　s　shadows　by　the　bright　sunlight。　She　greeted　him　with　enough　enthusiasm　to　make　him　ecstatic；　and　me　the　opposite。　See；　she　likes　me。　She　wouldn　t　smile　like　that　if　she　didn　t。　I　bet　she　wanted　to　go　to　the　dance　with　me。　Wonder　what　s　so　important　in　Seattle　He　perceived　the　change　in　her　hair。　it。　I　never　noticed　before　your　hair　has　red　in　I　accidentally　uprooted　the　young　spruce　tree　my　hand　was　resting　on　when　he　pinched　a　strand　of　her　hair　between　his　fingers。　Only　in　the　sun；　she　said。　To　my　deep　satisfaction；　she　cringed　away　from　him　slightly　when　he　tucked　the　strand　behind　her　ear。　It　took　Mike　a　minute　to　build　up　his　courage；　wasting　some　time　on　small　talk。　She　reminded　him　of　the　essay　we　all　had　due　on　Wednesday。　From　the　faintly　smug　expression　on　her　face；　hers　was　already　done。　He　d　forgotten　altogether；　and　that　severely　diminished　his　free　time。　Dang　stupid　essay。　Finally　he　got　to　the　point　my　teeth　were　clenched　so　hard　they　could　have　pulverized　granite　and　even　then；　he　couldn　t　make　himself　ask　the　question

outright。　I　was　going　to　ask　if　you　wanted　to　go　out。　Oh；　she　said。　There　was　a　brief　silence。　Oh？　What　does　that　mean？　Is　she　going　to　yes？　Wait　I　guess　I　didn　t　really　ask。　He　swallowed　hard。　Well；　we　could　go　to　dinner　or　something　and　I　could　work　on　it　later。　Stupid　that　wasn　t　a　question　either。　Mike　The　agony　and　fury　of　my　jealousy　was　every　whit　as　powerful　as　it　had　been　last　week。　I　broke　another　tree　trying　to　hold　myself　here。　I　wanted　so　badly　to　race　across　the　campus；　too　fast　for　human　eyes；　and　snatch　her　up　to　steal　her　away　from　the　boy　that　I　hated　so　much　in　this　moment　I　could　have　kill　him　and　enjoyed　it。　Would　she　say　yes　to　him？　I　don　t　think　that　would　be　the　best　idea。　I　breathed　again。　My　rigid　body　relaxed。　Shouldn　t　have　asked。　What　was　I　Seattl