5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第6部分

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　extreme　in　the　coloring　the　light　and　dark　contrast　of　her　skin　and　her　hair；　and　then　there　were　the　eyes；　brimming　over　with　silent　secrets　Eyes　that　were　suddenly　boring　into　mine。　I　stared　back　at　her；　trying　to　guess　even　one　of　those　secrets。　Did　you　get　contacts？　she　asked　abruptly。　What　a　strange　question。　eyesight。　Oh；　she　mumbled。　No。　I　almost　smiled　at　the　idea　of　improving　my　I　thought　there　was　something　different　about　your　eyes。　I　felt　suddenly　colder　again　as　I　realized　that　I　was　apparently　not　the　only　one　attempting　to　ferret　out　secrets　today。　I　shrugged；　my　shoulders　stiff；　and　glared　straight　ahead　to　where　the　teacher　was　making　his　rounds。　Of　course　there　was　something　different　about　my　eyes　since　the　last　time　she　d　stared　into　them。　To　prepare　myself　for　today　s　ordeal；　today　s　temptation；　I　d　spent　the　entire　weekend　hunting；　satiating　my　thirst　as　much　as　possible；　overdoing　it　really。　I　d　glutted　myself　on　the　blood　of　animals；　not　that　it　made　much　difference　in　the　face　of　the　outrageous　flavor　floating　on　the　air　around

her。　When　I　d　glared　at　her　last；　my　eyes　had　been　black　with　thirst。　Now；　my　body　swimming　with　blood；　my　eyes　were　a　warmer　gold。　Light　amber　from　my　excessive　attempt　at　thirstquenching。　Another　slip。　told　her　yes。　If　I　d　seen　what　she　d　meant　with　her　question；　I　could　have　just　I　d　sat　beside　humans　for　two　years　now　at　this　school；　and　she　was　the　first　to　examine　me　closely　enough　to　note　the　change　in　my　eye　color。　The　others；　while　admiring　the　beauty　of　my　family；　tended　to　look　down　quickly　when　we　returned　their　stares。　They　shied　away；　blocking　the　details　of　our　appearances　in　an　instinctive　endeavor　to　keep　themselves　from　understanding。　Ignorance　was　bliss　to　the　human　mind。　Why　did　it　have　to　be　this　girl　who　would　see　too　much？　Mr。　Banner　approached　our　table。　I　gratefully　inhaled　the　gush　of　clean　air　he　brought　with　him　before　it　could　mix　with　her　scent。　So；　Edward；　he　said；　looking　over　our　answers；　didn　t　you　think　Isabella　should　get　a　chance　with　the　microscope？　Bella；　I　corrected　him　reflexively。　five。　Actually；　she　identified　three　of　the　Have　you　Mr。　Banner　s　thoughts　were　skeptical　as　he　turned　to　look　at　the　girl。　done　this　lab　before？　I　watched；　engrossed；　as　she　smiled；　looking　slightly　embarrassed。　Not　with　onion　root。　Whitefish　blastula？　Mr。　Banner　probed。　Yeah。　This　surprised　him。　Today　s　lab　was　something　he　d　pulled　from　a　more　advanced　course。　He　nodded　thoughtfully　at　the　girl。　Were　you　in　an　advanced　placement　program　in　Phoenix？　Yes。　She　was　advanced　then；　intelligent　for　a　human。　This　did　not　surprise　me。　Well；　Mr。　Banner　said；　pursing　his　lips。　I　guess　it　s　good　you　two　are　lab　partners。　He　turned　and　walked　away　mumbling；　So　the　other　kids　can　get　a　chance　to　learn　something　for　themselves；　under　his　breath。　I　doubted　the　girl　could　hear　that。　She　began　scrawling　loops　across　her　folder　again。　Two　slips　so　far　in　one　half　hour。　A　very　poor　showing　on　my　part。　Though　I　had　no　idea　at　all　what　the　girl　thought　of　me　how　much　did　she　fear；　how　much　did　she　suspect？　I　knew　I　needed　to　put　forth　a　better　effort　to　leave　her　with　a　new　impression　of　me。　Something　to　better　drown　her　memories　of　our　ferocious　last　encounter。　It　s　too　bad　about　the　snow；　isn　t　it？　I　said；　repeating　the　small　talk　that　I　d　heard　a　dozen　students　discuss　already。　A　boring；　standard　topic　of　conversation。　The　weather　always　safe。

She　stared　at　me　with　obvious　doubt　in　her　eyes　an　abnormal　reaction　to　my　very　normal　words。　Not　really；　she　said；　surprising　me　again。　I　tried　to　steer　the　conversation　back　to　trite　paths。　She　was　from　a　much　brighter；　warmer　place　her　skin　seemed　to　reflect　that　somehow；　despite　its　fairness　and　the　cold　must　make　her　unfortable。　My　icy　touch　certainly　had　You　don　t　like　the　cold；　I　guessed。　Or　the　wet；　she　agreed。　Forks　must　be　a　difficult　place　for　you　to　live。　Perhaps　you　should　not　have　e　here；　I　wanted　to　add。　Perhaps　you　should　go　back　where　you　belong。　I　wasn　t　sure　I　wanted　that；　though。　I　would　always　remember　the　scent　of　her　blood　was　there　any　guarantee　that　I　wouldn　t　eventually　follow　after　her？　Besides；　if　she　left；　her　mind　would　forever　remain　a　mystery。　A　constant；　nagging　puzzle。　You　have　no　idea；　she　said　in　a　low　voice；　glowering　past　me　for　a　moment。　Her　answers　were　never　what　I　expected。　They　made　me　want　to　ask　more　questions。　Why　did　you　e　here；　then？　I　demanded；　realizing　instantly　that　my　tone　was　too　accusatory；　not　casual　enough　for　the　conversation。　The　question　sounded　rude；　prying。　It　s　plicated。　She　blinked　her　wide　eyes；　leaving　it　at　that；　and　I　nearly　imploded　out　of　curiosity　the　curiosity　burned　as　hot　as　the　thirst　in　my　throat。　Actually；　I　found　that　it　was　getting　slightly　easier　to　breathe；　the　agony　was　being　more　bearable　through　familiarity。　I　think　I　can　keep　up；　I　insisted。　Perhaps　mon　courtesy　would　keep　her　answering　my　questions　as　long　as　I　was　rude　enough　to　ask　them。　She　stared　down　silently　at　her　hands。　This　made　me　impatient；　I　wanted　to　put　my　hand　under　her　chin　and　tilt　her　head　up　so　that　I　could　read　her　eyes。　But　it　would　be　foolish　of　me　dangerous　to　touch　her　skin　again。　She　looked　up　suddenly。　It　was　a　relief　to　be　able　to　see　the　emotions　in　her　eyes　again。　She　spoke　in　a　rush；　hurrying　through　the　words。　My　mother　got　remarried。　Ah；　this　was　human　enough；　easy　to　understand。　eyes　and　brought　the　pucker　back　between　them。　Sadness　passed　through　her　clear　That　doesn　t　sound　so　plex；　I　said。　My　voice　was　gentle　without　my　working　to　make　it　that　way。　Her　sadness　left　me　feeling　oddly　helpless；　wishing　there　was　something　I　could　do　to　make　her　feel　better。　A　strange　impulse。　When　did　that　happen？　Last　September。　She　exhaled　heavily　not　quite　a　sigh。　warm　breath　brushed　my　face。　I　held　my　breath　as　her　And　you　don　t　like　him；　I　guessed；　fishing　for　more　information。

No；　Phil　is　fine；　she　said；　correcting　my　assumption。　There　was　a　hint　of　a　smile　now　around　the　corners　of　her　full　lips。　Too　young；　maybe；　but　nice　enough。　This　didn　t　fit　with　the　scenario　I　d　been　constructing　in　my　head。　Why　didn　t　you　stay　with　them？　I　asked；　my　voice　a　little　too　curious。　sounded　like　I　was　being　nosy。　Which　I　was；　admittedly。　Phil　travels　a　lot。　He　plays　ball　for　a　living。　pronounced；　this　career　choice　amused　her。　It　The　little　smile　grew　more　I　smiled；　too；　without　choosing　to。　I　wasn　t　trying　to　make　her　feel　at　ease。　Her　smile　just　made　me　want　to　smile　in　response　to　be　in　on　the　secret。　Have　I　heard　of　him？　I　ran　through　the　rosters　of　professional　ball　players　in　my　head；　wondering　which　Phil　was　hers　Probably　not。　He　doesn　t　play　well。　He　moves　around　a　lot。　Another　smile。　Strictly　minor　league。　The　rosters　in　my　head　shifted　instantly；　and　I　d　tabulated　a　list　of　possibilities　in　less　than　a　second。　At　the　same　time；　I　was　imagining　the　new　scenario。　And　your　mother　sent　you　here　so　that　she　could　travel　with　him；　I　said。　Making　assumptions　seemed　to　get　more　information　out　of　her　than　questions　did。　It　worked　again。　Her　chin　jutted　out；　and　her　expression　was　suddenly　stubborn。　No；　she　did　not　send　me　here；　she　said；　and　her　voice　had　a　new；　hard　edge　to　it。　My　assumption　had　upset　her；　though　I　couldn　t　quite　see　how。　I　sent　myself。　I　could　not　guess　at　her　meaning；　or　the　source　behind　her　pique。　lost。　I　was　entirely　So　I　gave　up。　There　was　just　no　making　sense　of　the　girl。　She　wasn　t　like　other　humans。　Maybe　the　silence　of　her　thoughts　and　the　perfume　of　her　scent　were　not　the　only　unusual　things　about　her。　I　don　t　understand；　I　admitted；　hating　to　concede。　She　sighed；　and　stared　into　my　eyes　for　longer　than　most　normal　humans　were　able　to　stand。　She　stayed　with　me　at　first；　but　she　missed　him；　she　explained　slowly；　her　tone　growing　more　forlorn　with　each　word。　It　made　her　unhappy　so　I　decided　it　was　time　to　spend　some　quality　time　with　Charlie。　The　tiny　pucker　between　her　eyes　deepened。　But　now　you　re　unhappy；　I　murmured。　I　couldn　t　seem　to　stop　speaking　my　hypotheses　aloud；　hoping　to　learn　from　her　reactions。　This　one；　however；　did　not　seem　as　far　off　the　mark。　And？　she　said；　as　if　this　was　not　even　an　aspect　to　be　considered。

I　continued　to　stare　into　her　eyes；　feeling　that　I　d　finally　gotten　my　first　real　glimpse　into　her　soul。　I　saw　in　that　one　word　where　she　ranked　herself　among　her　own　priorities。　Unlike　most　humans；　her　own　needs　were　far　down　the　list。　She　was　selfless。　As　I　saw　this；　the　mystery　of　the　person　hiding　inside　this　quiet　mind　began　to　thin　a　little。　That　doesn　t　seem　fair；　I　said。　I　shrugged；　trying　to　seem　casual；　trying　to　conceal　the　intensity　of　my　curiosity。　She　laughed；　but　there　was　no　amusement　the　sound。　Life　isn　t　fair。　Hasn　t　anyone　ever　told　you？　I　wanted　to　laugh　at　her　words；　though　I；　too；　felt　no　real　amusement。　I　knew　a　little　something　about　the　unfairness　of　life。　I　believe　I　have　heard　that　somewhere　before。　She　stared　back　at　me；　seeming　confused　again。　came　back　to　mine。　So　that　s　all；　she　told　me。　But　I　was　not　ready　to　let　this　conversation　end。　The　little　V　between　her　eyes；　a　remnant　of　her　sorrow；　bothered　me。　I　wanted　to　smooth　it　away　with　my　fingertip。　But；　of　course；　I　could　not　touch　her。　It　was　unsafe　in　so　many　ways。　You　put　on　a　good　show。　I　spoke　slowly；　still　considering　this　next　hypothesis。　But　I　d　be　willing　to　bet　that　you　re　suffering　more　than　you　let　anyone　see。　She　made　a　face；　her　eyes　narrowing　and　her　mouth　twisting　into　a　lopsided　pout；　and　she　looked　back　towards　the　front　of　the　class。　She　didn　t　like　it　when　I　guessed　right。　She　wasn　t　the　average　martyr　she　didn　t　want　an　audience　to　her　pain。　Am　I　wrong？　She　flinched　slightly；　but　otherwise　pretended　not　to　hear　me。　That　made　me　smile。　I　didn　t　think　so。　Her　eyes　flickered　away；　and　then　Why　does　it　matter　to　you？　she　demanded；　still　staring　away。　That　s　a　very　good　question；　I　admitted；　more　to　myself　than　to　answer　her。　Her　discernment　was　better　than　mine　she　saw　right　to　the　core　of　things　while　I　floundered　around　the　edges；　sifting　blindly　through　clues。　The　details　of　her　very　human　life　should　not　matter　to　me。　It　was　wrong　for　me　to　care　what　she　thought。　Beyond　protecting　my　family　from　suspicion；　human　thoughts　were　not　significant。　I　was　not　used　to　being　the　less　intuitive　of　any　pairing。　I　relied　on　my　extra　hearing　too　much　I　clearly　was　not　as　perceptive　as　I　gave　myself　credit　for。　The　girl　sighed　and　glowered　toward　the　front　of　the　classroom。　Something　about　her　frustrated　expression　was　humorous。　The　whole　situation；　the　whole　conversation　was　humorous。　No　one　had　ever　been　in　more　danger　from　me　than　this　little　girl　at　any　moment　I　might；　distracted　by　my　ridiculous　absorption　in　the

conversation；　inhale　through　my　nose　and　attack　her　before　I　could　stop　myself　and　she　was　irritated　because　I　hadn　t　answered　her　question。　Am　I　annoying　you？　I　asked；　smiling　at　the　absurdity　of　it　all。　She　glanced　at　me　quickly；　and　then　her　eyes　seemed　to　get　trapped　by　my　gaze。　Not　exactly；　she　told　me。　I　m　more　annoyed　at　myself。　My　face　is　so　easy　to　read　my　mother　always　calls　me　her　open　book。　She　frowned；　disgruntled。　I　stared　at　her　in　amazement。　The　reason　she　was　upset　was　because　she　thought　I　saw　through　her　too　easily。　How　bizarre。　I　d　never　expended　so　much　effort　to　understand　someone　in　all　my　life　or　rather　existence；　as　life　was　hardly　the　right　word。　I　did　not　truly　have　a　life。　On　the　contrary；　I　disagreed；　feeling　strangely　wary；　as　if　there　were　some　hidden　danger　here　that　I　was　failing　to　see。　I　was　suddenly　on　edge；　the　premonition　making　me　anxious。　I　find　you　very　difficult　to　read。　You　must　be　a　good　reader　then；　she　guessed；　making　her　own　assumption　that　was；　again；　right　on　target。　Usually；　I　agreed。　I　smiled　at　her　widely　then；　letting　my　lips　pull　back　to　expose　the　rows　of　gleaming；　razor　sharp　teeth　behind　them。　It　was　a　stupid　thing　to　do；　but　I　was　abruptly；　unexpectedly　desperate　to　get　some　kind　of　warning　through　to　the　girl。　Her　body　was　closer　to　me　than　before；　having　shifted　unconsciously　in　the　course　of　our　conversation。　All　the　little　markers　and　signs　that　were　sufficient　to　scare　off　the　rest　of　humanity　did　not　seem　to　be　working　on　her。　Why　did　she　not　cringe　away　from　me　in　terror？　Surely　she　had　seen　enough　of　my　darker　side　to　realize　the　danger；　intuitive　as　she　seemed　to　be。　I　didn　t　get　to　see　if　my　warning　had　the　intended　effect。　Mr。　Banner　called　for　the　class　s　attention　just　then；　and　she　turned　away　from　me　at　once。　She　seemed　a　little　relieved　for　the　interruption；　so　maybe　she　understood　unconsciously。　I　hoped　she　did。　I　recognized　the　fascination　growing　inside　me；　even　as　I　tried　to　root　it　out。　I　could　not　afford　to　find　Bella　Swan　interesting。　Or　rather；　she　could　not　afford　that。　Already；　I　was　anxious　for　another　chance　to　talk　to　her。　I　wanted　to　know　more　about　her　mother；　her　life　before　she　came　here；　her　relationship　with　her　father。　All　the　meaningless　details　that　would　flesh　out　her　character　further。　But　every　second　I　spent　with　her　was　a　mistake；　a　risk　she　shouldn　t　have　to　take。　Absentmindedly；　she　tossed　her　thick　hair　just　at　the　moment　that　I　allowed　myself　another　breath。　A　particularly　concentrated　wave　of　her　scent　hit　the　back　of　my　throat。　It　was　like　the　first　day　like　the　wrecking　ball。　The　pain　of　the　burning　dryness　made　me　dizzy。　I　had　to　grasp　the　table　again　to　keep　myself　in　my　seat。　This　time　I　had　slightly　more　control。　I　didn　t　break　anything；　at　least。　The　monster　growled　inside　me；　but　took　no　pleasure　in　my　pain。　He　was　too　tightly　bound。　For　the　moment。

I　stopped　breathing　altogether；　and　leaned　as　far　from　the　girl　as　I　could。　No；　I　could　not　afford　to　find　her　fascinating。　The　more　interesting　I　found　her；　the　more　likely　it　was　that　I　would　kill　her。　I　d　already　made　two　minor　slips　today。　Would　I　make　a　third；　one　that　was　not　minor？　As　soon　as　the　bell　sounded；　I　fled　from　the　classroom　probably　destroying　whatever　impression　of　politeness　I　d　halfway　constructed　in　the　course　of　the　hour。　Again；　I　gasped　at　the　clean；　wet　air　outside　like　it　was　a　healing　attar。　I　hurried　to　put　as　much　distance　between　myself　and　the　girl　as　was　possible。　Emmett　waited　for　me　outside　the　door　of　our　Spanish　class。　expression　for　a　moment。　How　did　it　go？　he　wondered　warily。　Nobody　died；　I　mumbled。　I　guess　that　s　something。　When　I　saw　Alice　ditching　there　at　the　end；　I　thought　He　read　my　wild　As　we　walked　into　the　classroom；　I　saw　his　memory　from　just　a　few　moments　ago；　seen　through　the　open　door　of　his　last　class：　Alice　walking　briskly　and　blankfaced　across　the　grounds　toward　the　science　building。　I　felt　his　remembered　urge　to　get　up　and　join　her；　and　then　his　decision　to　stay。　If　Alice　needed　his　help；　she　would　ask　I　closed　my　eyes　in　horror　and　disgust　as　I　slumped　into　my　seat。　I　hadn　t　realized　that　it　was　that　close。　I　didn　t　think　I　was　going　to　I　didn　t　see　that　it　was　that　bad；　I　whispered。　It　wasn　t；　he　reassured　me。　Nobody　died；　right？　Right；　I　said　through　my　teeth。　Not　this　time。　Maybe　it　will　get　easier。　Sure。　Or；　maybe　you　kill　her。　He　shrugged。　You　wouldn　t　be　the　first　one　to　mess　up。　No　one　would　judge　you　too　harshly。　Sometimes　a　person　just　smells　too　good。　I　m　impressed　you　ve　lasted　this　long。　Not　helping；　Emmett。　I　was　revolted　by　his