5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第9部分

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exaggerating。　My　head　bowed　with　that　guilt　as　I　listened　to　his　panicked　voice。　Bella！　he　shouted。　I　m　pletely　fine；　Char　Dad。　She　sighed。　There　s　nothing　wrong　with　me。　Her　assurance　barely　soothed　his　dread。　demanded　more　information。　He　turned　at　once　to　the　closest　EMT　and　I　wasn　t　until　I　heard　him　speaking；　forming　perfectly　coherent　sentences　despite　his　panic；　that　I　realized　that　his　anxiety　and　concern　were　not　wordless。　I　just　could　not　hear　the　exact　words。　Hmm。　Charlie　Swan　was　not　as　silent　as　his　daughter；　but　I　could　see　where　she　got　it　from。　Interesting。　I　d　never　spent　much　time　around　the　town　s　police　chief。　I　d　always　taken　him　for　a　man　of　slow　thought　now　I　realized　that　I　was　the　one　who　was　slow。　His　thoughts　were　partially　concealed；　not　absent。　I　could　only　make　out　the　tenor；　the　tone　of　them　I　wanted　to　listen　harder；　to　see　if　I　could　find　in　this　new；　lesser　puzzle　the　key　to　the　girl　s　secrets。　But　Bella　was　loaded　into　the　back　by　then；　and　the　ambulance　was　on　its　way。　It　was　hard　to　tear　myself　away　from　this　possible　solution　to　the　mystery　that　had　e　to　obsess　me。　But　I　had　to　think　now　to　look　at　what　had　been　done　today　from　every　angle。　I　had　to　listen；　to　make　sure　that　I　had　not　put　us　all　in　so　much　danger　that　we　would　have　to　leave　immediately。　I　had　to　concentrate。　There　was　nothing　in　the　thoughts　of　the　EMTs　to　worry　me。　As　far　as　they　could　tell；　there　was　nothing　seriously　wrong　with　the　girl。　And　Bella　was　sticking　to　the　story　I　d　provided；　thus　far。　The　first　priority；　when　we　reached　the　hospital；　was　to　see　Carlisle。　I　hurried　through　the　automatic　doors；　but　I　was　unable　to　totally　forgo　watching　after　Bella；　I　kept　an　eye　on　her　through　the　paramedics　thoughts。　It　was　easy　to　find　my　father　s　familiar　mind。　He　was　in　his　small　office；　all　alone　the　second　stroke　of　luck　in　this　luckless　day。　Carlisle。　He　d　heard　my　approach；　and　he　was　alarmed　as　soon　as　he　saw　my　face。　He　jumped　to　his　feet；　his　face　paling　to　bone　white。　He　leaned　forward　across　the　neatly　organized　walnut　desk。

Edward　you　didn　t　No；　no；　it　s　not　that。　He　took　deep　breath。　Of　course　not。　I　m　sorry　I　entertained　the　thought。　Your　eyes；　of　course；　I　should　have　known　He　noted　my　stillgolden　eyes　with　relief。　She　s　hurt；　though；　Carlisle；　probably　not　seriously；　but　What　happened？　A　stupid　car　accident。　She　was　in　the　wrong　place　at　the　wrong　time。　couldn　t　just　stand　there　let　it　crush　her　Start　over；　I　don　t　understand。　How　were　you　involved？　But　I　A　van　skidded　across　the　ice；　I　whispered。　I　stared　at　the　wall　behind　him　while　I　spoke。　Instead　of　a　throng　of　framed　diplomas；　he　had　one　simple　oil　painting　a　favorite　of　his；　an　undiscovered　Hassam。　She　was　in　the　way。　Alice　saw　it　ing；　but　there　wasn　t　time　to　do　anything　but　really　run　across　the　lot　and　shove　her　out　of　the　way。　No　one　noticed　except　for　her。　I　had　to　stop　the　van；　too；　but　again；　nobody　saw　that　besides　her。　I　m　I　m　sorry　Carlisle。　I　didn　t　mean　to　put　us　in　danger。　He　circled　the　desk　and　put　his　hand　on　my　shoulder。　You　did　the　right　thing。　you；　Edward。　And　it　couldn　t　have　been　easy　for　you。　I　m　proud　of　I　could　look　him　in　the　eye　then。　That　doesn　t　matter。　She　knows　there　s　something　wrong　with　me。　What　has　she　said？　If　we　have　to　leave；　we　leave。　Nothing　yet。　I　shook　my　head；　a　little　frustrated。　Yet？　She　agreed　to　my　version　of　events　but　she　s　expecting　an　explanation。　He　frowned；　pondering　this。　She　hit　her　head　well；　I　did　that；　I　continued　quickly。　I　knocked　her　to　the　ground　fairly　hard。　She　seems　fine；　but　I　don　t　think　it　will　take　much　to　discredit　her　account。　I　felt　like　a　cad　just　saying　the　words。　Carlisle　heard　the　distaste　in　my　voice。　Perhaps　that　won　t　be　necessary。　see　what　happens；　shall　we？　It　sounds　like　I　have　a　patient　to　check　on。　Please；　I　said。　I　m　so　worried　that　I　hurt　her。　Let　s　Carlisle　s　expression　brightened。　He　smoothed　his　fair　hair　just　a　few　shades　lighter　than　his　golden　eyes　and　he　laughed。　It　s　been　an　interesting　day　for　you；　hasn　t　it？　In　his　mind；　I　could　see　the　irony；　and　it　was　humorous；　at　least　to　him。　Quite　the　reversal　of　roles。　Somewhere　during　that　short　thoughtless　second　when　I　d　sprinted　across　the　icy

lot；　I　had　transformed　from　killer　to　protector。　I　laughed　with　him；　remembering　how　sure　I　d　been　that　Bella　would　never　need　protecting　from　anything　more　than　myself。　There　was　an　edge　to　my　laugh　because；　van　notwithstanding；　that　was　still　entirely　true。　I　waited　alone　in　Carlisle　s　office　one　of　the　longer　hours　I　had　ever　lived　listening　to　the　hospital　full　of　thoughts。　Tyler　Crowley；　the　van　s　driver；　looked　to　be　hurt　worse　than　Bella；　and　the　attention　shifted　to　him　while　she　waited　her　turn　to　be　Xrayed。　Carlisle　kept　in　the　background；　trusting　the　PA　s　diagnosis　that　the　girl　was　only　slightly　injured。　This　made　me　anxious；　but　I　knew　he　was　right。　One　glance　at　his　face　and　she　would　be　immediately　reminded　of　me；　of　the　fact　that　there　was　something　not　right　about　my　family；　and　that　might　set　her　talking。　She　certainly　had　a　willing　enough　partner　to　converse　with。　Tyler　was　consumed　with　guilt　over　the　fact　that　he　had　almost　killed　her；　and　he　couldn　t　seem　to　shut　up　about　it。　I　could　see　her　expression　through　his　eyes；　and　it　was　clear　that　she　wished　he　would　stop。　How　did　he　not　see　that？　There　was　a　tense　moment　for　me　when　Tyler　asked　her　how　she　d　gotten　out　of　the　way。　I　waited；　not　breathing；　as　she　hesitated。　Um。。。　he　heard　her　say。　Then　she　paused　for　so　long　that　Tyler　wondered　if　his　question　had　confused　her。　Finally；　she　went　on。　Edward　pulled　me　out　of　the　way。　I　exhaled。　And　then　my　breathing　accelerated。　I　d　never　heard　her　speak　my　name　before。　I　like　the　way　it　sounded　even　just　hearing　it　through　Tyler　s　thoughts。　I　wanted　to　hear　it　for　myself　Edward　Cullen；　she　said；　when　Tyler　didn　t　realize　who　she　meant。　I　found　myself　at　the　door；　my　hand　on　the　knob。　The　desire　to　see　her　was　growing　stronger。　I　had　to　remind　myself　of　the　need　for　caution。　He　was　standing　next　to　me。　Cullen？　Huh。　That　s　weird。　I　didn　t　see　him。　was　all　so　fast；　I　guess。　Is　he　okay？　I　think　so。　I　could　have　sworn　Wow；　it　He　s　here　somewhere；　but　they　didn　t　make　him　use　a　stretcher。　I　saw　the　thoughtful　look　on　her　face；　the　suspicious　tightening　of　her　eyes；　but　these　little　changes　in　her　expression　were　lost　on　Tyler。　She　s　pretty；　he　was　thinking；　almost　in　surprise。　Even　all　messed　up。　usual　type；　still　I　should　take　her　out。　Make　up　for　today　Not　my　I　was　out　in　the　hall；　then；　halfway　to　the　emergency　room；　without　thinking　for　one　second　about　what　I　was　doing。　Luckily；　the　nurse　entered　the　room　before　I　could　it　was　Bella　s　turn　for　Xrays。　I　leaned　against　the　wall　in　a　dark　nook　just　around　the　corner；　and　tried　to　get　a　grip　on　myself　while　she　was　wheeled　away。　It　didn　t　matter　that　Tyler　thought　she　was　pretty。　Anyone　would　notice　that。

There　was　no　reason　for　me　to　feel　how　did　I　feel？　to　the　truth？　That　made　no　sense　at　all。　Annoyed？　Or　was　angry　closer　I　stayed　where　I　was　for　as　long　as　I　could；　but　impatience　got　the　best　of　me　and　I　took　a　back　way　around　to　the　radiology　room。　She　d　already　been　moved　back　to　the　ER；　but　I　was　able　to　take　a　peek　at　her　xrays　while　the　nurse　s　back　was　turned。　I　felt　calmer　when　I　had。　Carlisle　caught　me　there。　You　look　better；　he　mented。　I　just　looked　straight　ahead。　visitors。　We　weren　t　alone；　the　halls　full　of　orderlies　and　Her　head　was　fine。　I　hadn　t　hurt　her；　not　really。　Ah；　yes。　He　stuck　her　xrays　to　the　lightboard；　but　I　didn　t　need　a　second　look。　I　see。　She　s　absolutely　fine。　Well　done；　Edward。　The　sound　of　my　father　s　approval　created　a　mixed　reaction　in　me。　I　would　have　been　pleased；　except　that　I　knew　that　he　would　not　approve　of　what　I　was　going　to　do　now。　At　least；　he　would　not　approve　if　he　knew　my　real　motivations　I　think　I　m　going　to　go　talk　to　her　before　she　sees　you；　I　murmured　under　my　breath。　Act　natural；　like　nothing　happened。　Smooth　it　over。　All　acceptable　reasons。　Carlisle　nodded　absently；　still　looking　over　the　xrays。　I　looked　to　see　what　had　his　interest。　Look　at　all　the　healed　contusions！　How　many　times　did　her　mother　drop　her？　Good　idea。　Hmm。　Carlisle　laughed　to　himself　at　his　joke。　I　m　beginning　to　think　the　girl　just　has　really　bad　luck。　place　at　the　wrong　time。　Forks　is　certainly　the　wrong　place　for　her；　with　you　here。　I　flinched。　Go　ahead。　Smooth　things　over。　I　ll　join　you　momentarily。　Perhaps　I　was　too　good　a　liar；　if　I　could　Always　in　the　wrong　I　walked　away　quickly；　feeling　guilty。　fool　Carlisle。　When　I　got　to　the　ER；　Tyler　was　mumbling　under　his　breath；　still　apologizing。　The　girl　was　trying　to　escape　his　remorse　by　pretending　to　sleep。　Her　eyes　were　closed；　but　her　breathing　was　not　even；　and　now　and　then　her　fingers　would　twitch　impatiently。　I　stared　at　her　face　for　a　long　moment。　This　was　the　last　time　I　would　see　her。　That　fact　triggered　an　acute　aching　in　my　chest。　Was　it　because　I　hated　to　leave　any　puzzle　unsolved？　That　did　not　seem　like　enough　of　an　explanation。　Finally；　I　took　a　deep　breath　and　moved　into　view。

When　Tyler　saw　me；　he　started　to　speak；　but　I　put　one　finger　to　my　lips。　Is　she　sleeping？　I　murmured。　Bella　s　eyes　snapped　open　and　focused　on　my　face。　They　widened　momentarily；　and　then　narrowed　in　anger　or　suspicion。　I　remembered　that　I　had　a　role　to　play；　so　I　smiled　at　her　as　if　nothing　unusual　had　happened　this　morning　besides　a　blow　to　her　head　and　a　bit　of　imagination　run　wild。　Hey；　Edward；　Tyler　said。　I　m　really　sorry　I　raised　one　hand　to　halt　his　apology。　No　blood；　no　foul；　I　said　wryly。　Without　thinking；　I　smiled　too　widely　at　my　private　joke。　It　was　amazingly　easy　to　ignore　Tyler；　lying　no　more　than　four　feet　from　me；　covered　in　fresh　blood。　I　d　never　understood　how　Carlisle　was　able　to　do　that　ignore　the　blood　of　his　patients　in　order　to　treat　them。　Wouldn　t　the　constant　temptation　be　so　distracting；　so　dangerous　？　But；　now　I　could　see　how；　if　you　were　focusing　on　something　else　hard　enough；　the　temptation　was　be　nothing　at　all。　Even　fresh　and　exposed；　Tyler　s　blood　had　nothing　on　Bella　s。　I　kept　my　distance　from　her；　seating　myself　on　the　foot　of　Tyler　s　mattress。　So；　what　s　the　verdict？　I　asked　her。　Her　lower　lip　pushed　out　a　little。　There　s　nothing　wrong　with　me　at　all；　but　they　won　t　let　me　go。　How　e　you　aren　t　strapped　to　a　gurney　like　the　rest　of　us？　Her　impatience　made　me　smile　again。　I　could　hear　Carlisle　in　the　hall　now。　It　s　all　about　who　you　know；　I　said　lightly。　you。　But　don　t　worry；　I　came　to　spring　I　watched　her　reaction　carefully　as　my　father　entered　the　room。　Her　eyes　widened　and　her　mouth　actually　fell　open　in　surprise。　I　groaned　internally。　Yes；　she　d　certainly　noticed　the　resemblance。　So；　Miss　Swan；　how　are　you　feeling？　Carlisle　asked。　He　had　a　wonderfully　soothing　beside　manner　that　put　most　patients　at　ease　within　moments。　I　couldn　t　tell　how　it　affected　Bella。　I　m　fine；　she　said　quietly。　Carlisle　clipped　her　Xrays　to　the　lightboard　by　the　bed。　Your　Xrays　look　good。　Does　your　head　hurt？　Edward　said　you　hit　it　pretty　hard。　She　sighed；　and　said；　I　m　fine；　again；　but　this　time　impatience　leaked　into　her　voice。　Then　she　glowered　once　in　my　direction。　Carlisle　stepped　closer　to　her　and　ran　his　fingers　gently　over　her　scalp　until　he　found　the　bump　under　her　hair。　I　was　caught　off　guard　by　the　wave　of　emotion　that　crashed　over　me。　I　had　seen　Carlisle　work　with　humans　a　thousand　times。　Years　ago；　I　had　even

assisted　him　informally　though　only　in　situations　where　blood　was　not　involved。　So　it　wasn　t　a　new　thing　to　me；　to　watch　him　interact　with　the　girl　as　if　he　were　as　human　as　she　was。　I　d　envied　his　control　many　times；　but　that　was　not　the　same　as　this　emotion。　I　envied　him　more　than　his　control。　I　ached　for　the　difference　between　Carlisle　and　me　that　he　could　touch　her　so　gently；　without　fear；　knowing　he　would　never　harm　her　She　winced；　and　I　twitched　in　my　seat。　my　relaxed　posture。　Tender？　Carlisle　asked。　Her　chin　jerked　up　a　fraction。　Not　really；　she　said。　She　didn　t　I　had　to　concentrate　for　a　moment　to　keep　Another　small　piece　of　her　character　fell　into　place：　she　was　brave。　like　to　show　weakness。　Possibly　the　most　vulnerable　creature　I　d　ever　seen；　and　she　didn　t　want　to　seem　weak。　A　chuckle　slid　through　my　lips。　She　shot　another　glare　at　me。　Well；　Carlisle　said。　Your　father　is　in　the　waiting　room　you　can　go　home　with　him　now。　But　e　back　if　you　feel　dizzy　or　have　trouble　with　your　eyesight　at　all。　Her　father　was　here？　I　swept　through　the　thoughts　in　the　crowded　waiting　room；　but　I　couldn　t　pick　his　subtle　mental　voice　out　of　the　group　before　she　was　speaking　again；　her　face　anxious。　Can　t　I　go　back　to　school？　Maybe　you　should　take　it　easy　today；　Carlisle　suggested。　Her　eyes　flickered　back　to　me。　Does　he　get　to　go　to　school？　Act　normal；　smooth　things　over　ignore　the　way　it　feels　when　she　looks　me　in　the　eye　Someone　has　to　spread　the　good　news　that　we　survived；　I　said。　Actually；　Carlisle　corrected；　most　of　the　school　seems　to　be　in　the　waiting　room。　I　anticipated　her　reaction　this　time　her　aversion　to　attention。　disappoint。　Oh　no；　she　moaned；　and　she　put　her　hands　over　her　face。　I　liked　that　I　d　finally　guessed　right。　Do　you　want　to　stay？　Carlisle　asked。　No；　no！　she　said　quickly；　swinging　her　legs　over　the　side　of　the　mattress　and　sliding　down　till　her　feet　were　on　the　floor。　She　stumbled　forward；　offbalance；　into　Carlisle　s　arms。　He　caught　and　steadied　her。　Again；　the　envy　flooded　through　me。　I　was　beginning　to　understand　her　She　didn　t

I　m　fine；　she　said　before　he　could　ment；　faint　pink　in　her　cheeks。　Of　course；　that　wouldn　t　bother　Carlisle。　dropped　his　hands。　He　made　sure　she　was　balanced；　and　then　Take　some　Tylenol　for　the　pain；　he　instructed。　It　doesn　t　hurt　that　bad。　Carlisle　smiled　as　he　signed　her　chart。　lucky。　It　sounds　like　you　were　extremely　Lucky　Edward　She　turned　her　face　slightly；　to　stare　at　me　with　hard　eyes。　happened　to　be　standing　next　to　me。　Oh；　well；　yes；　Carlisle　agreed　quickly；　hearing　the　same　thing　in　her　voice　that　I　heard。　She　hadn　t　written　her　suspicions　off　as　imagination。　Not　yet。　All　yours；　Carlisle　thought。　Handle　it　as　you　think　best。　Neither　human　heard　me。　Thanks　so　much；　I　whispered；　quick　and　quiet。　Carlisle　s　lips　turned　up　a　tiny　bit　at　my　sarcasm　as　he　turned　to　Tyler。　I　m　afraid　that　you　ll　have　to　stay　with　us　just　a　little　bit　longer；　he　said　as　he　began　examining　the　slashes　left　by　the　shattered　windshield。　Well；　I　d　made　the　mess；　so　it　was　only　fair　that　I　had　to　deal　with　it。　Bella　walked　deliberately　toward　me；　not　stopping　until　she　was　unfortably　close。　I　remembered　how　I　had　hoped；　before　all　the　mayhem；　that　she　would　approach　me　This　was　like　a　mockery　of　that　wish。　Can　I　talk　to　you　for　a　minute？　she　hissed　at　me。　Her　warm　breath　brushed　my　face　and　I　had　to　stagger　back　a　step。　Her　appeal　had　not　abated　one　bit。　Every　time　she　was　near　me；　it　triggered　all　my　worst；　most　urgent　instincts。　Venom　flowed　in　my　mouth　and　my　body　yearned　to　strike　to　wrench　her　into　my　arms　and　crush　her　throat　to　my　teeth。　My　mind　was　stronger　than　my　body；　but　only　just。　Your　father　is　waiting　for　you；　I　reminded　her；　my　jaw　clenched　tight。　She　glanced　toward　Carlisle　and　Tyler。　Tyler　was　paying　us　no　attention　at　all；　but　Carlisle　was　monitoring　my　every　breath。　Carefully；　Edward。　I　d　like　to　speak　t