1 twilight暮色-第44部分

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should　happen。　How　it　would　have　happened　if　I　didn't　exist　—　and　I　
shouldn't　exist。〃　

I　snorted。　He　opened　his　eyes　in　surprise。　〃That's　stupid。　That's　like　
going　to　someone　who's　just　won　the　lottery；　taking　their　money；　and　
saying；　'Look；　let's　just　go　back　to　how　things　should　be。　It's　better　
that　way。'　And　I'm　not　buying　it。〃　

〃I'm　hardly　a　lottery　prize；〃　he　growled。　

〃That's　right。　You're　much　better。〃　

He　rolled　his　eyes　and　set　his　lips。　〃Bella；　we're　not　having　this　
discussion　anymore。　I　refuse　to　damn　you　to　an　eternity　of　night　and　
that's　the　end　of　it。〃　

〃If　you　think　that's　the　end；　then　you　don't　know　me　very　well；〃　I　warned　
him。　〃You're　not　the　only　vampire　I　know。〃　

His　eyes　went　black　again。　〃Alice　wouldn't　dare。〃　

And　for　a　moment　he　looked　so　frightening　that　I　couldn't　help　but　
believe　it　—　I　couldn't　imagine　someone　brave　enough　to　cross　him。　

〃Alice　already　saw　it；　didn't　she？〃　I　guessed。　〃That's　why　the　things　she　
says　upset　you。　She　knows　I'm　going　to　be　like　you…　someday。〃　

〃She's　wrong。　She　also　saw　you　dead；　but　that　didn't　happen；　either。〃　

〃You'll　never　catch　me　betting　against　Alice。〃　

We　stared　at　each　other　for　a　very　long　time。　It　was　quiet　except　for　the　
whirring　of　the　machines；　the　beeping；　the　dripping；　the　ticking　of　the　
big　clock　on　the　wall。　Finally；　his　expression　softened。　

〃So　where　does　that　leave　us？〃　I　wondered。　

He　chuckled　humorlessly。　〃I　believe　it's　called　an　impasse。〃　

I　sighed。　〃Ouch；〃　I　muttered。　

〃How　are　you　feeling？〃　he　asked；　eyeing　the　button　for　the　nurse。　

〃I'm　fine；〃　I　lied。　

〃I　don't　believe　you；〃　he　said　gently。　

〃I'm　not　going　back　to　sleep。〃　

〃You　need　rest。　All　this　arguing　isn't　good　for　you。〃　

〃So　give　in；〃　I　hinted。　

〃Nice　try。〃　He　reached　for　the　button。　

〃No！〃　

He　ignored　me。　

〃Yes？〃　the　speaker　on　the　wall　squawked。　

〃I　think　we're　ready　for　more　pain　medication；〃　he　said　calmly；　ignoring　
my　furious　expression。　

〃I'll　send　in　the　nurse。〃　The　voice　sounded　very　bored。　

〃I　won't　take　it；〃　I　promised。　

He　looked　toward　the　sack　of　fluids　hanging　beside　my　bed。　〃I　don't　think　
they're　going　to　ask　you　to　swallow　anything。〃　

My　heart　rate　started　to　climb。　He　read　the　fear　in　my　eyes；　and　sighed　
in　frustration。　

〃Bella；　you're　in　pain。　You　need　to　relax　so　you　can　heal。　Why　are　you　
being　so　difficult？　They're　not　going　to　put　any　more　needles　in　you　now。〃　

〃I'm　not　afraid　of　the　needles；〃　I　mumbled。　〃I'm　afraid　to　close　my　eyes。〃　

Then　he　smiled　his　crooked　smile；　and　took　my　face　between　his　hands。　〃I　
told　you　I'm　not　going　anywhere。　Don't　be　afraid。　As　long　as　it　makes　you　
happy；　I'll　be　here。〃　

I　smiled　back；　ignoring　the　ache　in　my　cheeks。　〃You're　talking　about　
forever；　you　know。〃　

〃Oh；　you'll　get　over　it　—　it's　just　a　crush。〃　

I　shook　my　head　in　disbelief—　it　made　me　dizzy。　〃I　was　shocked　when　Renée　
swallowed　that　one。　I　know　you　know　better。〃　

〃That's　the　beautiful　thing　about　being　human；〃　he　told　me。　〃Things　
change。〃　

My　eyes　narrowed。　〃Don't　hold　your　breath。〃　

He　was　laughing　when　the　nurse　came　in；　brandishing　a　syringe。　

〃Excuse　me；〃　she　said　brusquely　to　Edward。　

He　got　up　and　crossed　to　the　end　of　the　small　room；　leaning　against　the　
wall。　He　folded　his　arms　and　waited。　I　kept　my　eyes　on　him；　still　
apprehensive。　He　met　my　gaze　calmly。　

〃Here　you　go；　honey。〃　The　nurse　smiled　as　she　injected　the　medicine　into　
my　tube。　〃You'll　feel　better　now。〃　

〃Thanks；〃　I　mumbled；　unenthusiastic。　It　didn't　take　long。　I　could　feel　
the　drowsiness　trickling　through　my　bloodstream　almost　immediately。　

〃That　ought　to　do　it；〃　she　muttered　as　my　eyelids　drooped。　

She　must　have　left　the　room；　because　something　cold　and　smooth　touched　my　
face。　

〃Stay。〃　The　word　was　slurred。　

〃I　will；〃　he　promised。　His　voice　was　beautiful；　like　a　lullaby。　〃Like　I　
said；　as　long　as　it　makes　you　happy…　as　long　as　it's　what's　best　for　you。〃　

I　tried　to　shake　my　head；　but　it　was　too　heavy。　〃'S　not　the　same　thing；〃　
I　mumbled。　

He　laughed。　〃Don't　worry　about　that　now；　Bella。　You　can　argue　with　me　
when　you　wake　up。〃　

I　think　I　smiled。　'〃Kay。〃　

I　could　feel　his　lips　at　my　ear。　

〃I　love　you；〃　he　whispered。　

〃Me；　too。〃　

〃I　know；〃　he　laughed　quietly。　

I　turned　my　head　slightly…　searching。　He　knew　what　I　was　after。　His　lips　

touched　mine　gently。　

〃Thanks；〃　I　sighed。　

〃Anytime。〃　

I　wasn't　really　there　at　all　anymore。　But　I　fought　against　the　stupor　
weakly。　There　was　just　one　more　thing　I　wanted　to　tell　him。　

〃Edward？〃　I　struggled　to　pronounce　his　name　clearly。　

〃Yes？〃　

〃I'm　betting　on　Alice；〃　I　mumbled。　

And　then　the　night　closed　over　me。　

===========================================================================　


EPILOGUE：AN　OCCASION　




Edward　helped　me　into　his　car；　being　very　careful　of　the　wisps　of　silk　
and　chiffon；　the　flowers　he'd　just　pinned　into　my　elaborately　styled　
curls；　and　my　bulky　walking　cast。　He　ignored　the　angry　set　of　my　mouth。　

When　he　had　me　settled；　he　got　in　the　driver's　seat　and　headed　back　out　
the　long；　narrow　drive。　

〃At　what　point　exactly　are　you　going　to　tell　me　what's　going　on？〃　I　asked　
grumpily。　I　really　hated　surprises。　And　he　knew　that。　

〃I'm　shocked　that　you　haven't　figured　it　out　yet。〃　He　threw　a　mocking　
smile　in　my　direction；　and　my　breath　caught　in　my　throat。　Would　I　ever　
get　used　to　his　perfection？　

〃I　did　mention　that　you　looked　very　nice；　didn't　I？〃　I　verified。　

〃Yes。〃　He　grinned　again。　I'd　never　seen　him　dress　in　black　before；　and；　
with　the　contrast　against　his　pale　skin；　his　beauty　was　absolutely　
surreal。　That　much　I　couldn't　deny；　even　if　the　fact　that　he　was　wearing　
a　tuxedo　made　me　very　nervous。　

Not　quite　as　nervous　as　the　dress。　Or　the　shoe。　Only　one　shoe；　as　my　
other　foot　was　still　securely　encased　in　plaster。　But　the　stiletto　heel；　
held　on　only　by　satin　ribbons；　certainly　wasn't　going　to　help　me　as　I　
tried　to　hobble　around。　

〃I'm　not　ing　over　anymore　if　Alice　is　going　to　treat　me　like　Guinea　
Pig　Barbie　when　I　do；〃　I　griped。　I'd　spent　the　better　part　of　the　day　in　
Alice's　staggeringly　vast　bathroom；　a　helpless　victim　as　she　played　
hairdresser　and　cosmetician。　Whenever　I　fidgeted　or　plained；　she　
reminded　me　that　she　didn't　have　any　memories　of　being　human；　and　asked　
me　not　to　ruin　her　vicarious　fun。　Then　she'd　dressed　me　in　the　most　
ridiculous　dress　—　deep　blue；　frilly　and　off　the　shoulders；　with　French　
tags　I　couldn't　read　—　a　dress　more　suitable　for　a　runway　than　Forks。　
Nothing　good　could　e　of　our　formal　attire；　of　that　I　was　sure。　Unless…　
but　I　was　afraid　to　put　my　suspicions　into　words；　even　in　my　own　head。　

I　was　distracted　then　by　the　sound　of　a　phone　ringing。　Edward　pulled　his　
cell　phone　from　a　pocket　inside　his　jacket；　looking　briefly　at　the　caller　
ID　before　answering。　

〃Hello；　Charlie；〃　he　said　warily。　

〃Charlie？〃　I　frowned。　

Charlie　had　been…　difficult　since　my　return　to　Forks。　He　had　

partmentalized　my　bad　experience　into　two　defined　reactions。　Toward　
Carlisle　he　was　almost　worshipfully　grateful。　On　the　other　hand；　he　was　
stubbornly　convinced　that　Edward　was　at　fault　—　because；　if　not　for　him；　
I　wouldn't　have　left　home　in　the　first　place。　And　Edward　was　far　from　
disagreeing　with　him。　These　days　I　had　rules　that　hadn't　existed　before：　
curfews…　visiting　hours。　

Something　Charlie　was　saying　made　Edward's　eyes　widen　in　disbelief；　and　
then　a　grin　spread　across　his　face。　

〃You're　kidding！〃　He　laughed。　

〃What　is　it？〃　I　demanded。　

He　ignored　me。　〃Why　don't　you　let　me　talk　to　him？〃　Edward　suggested　with　
evident　pleasure。　He　waited　for　a　few　seconds。　

〃Hello；　Tyler；　this　is　Edward　Cullen。〃　His　voice　was　very　friendly；　on　
the　surface。　I　knew　it　well　enough　to　catch　the　soft　edge　of　menace。　What　
was　Tyler　doing　at　my　house？　The　awful　truth　began　to　dawn　on　me。　I　
looked　again　at　the　inappropriate　dress　Alice　had　forced　me　into。　

〃I'm　sorry　if　there's　been　some　kind　of　mismunication；　but　Bella　is　
unavailable　tonight。〃　Edward's　tone　changed；　and　the　threat　in　his　voice　
was　suddenly　much　more　evident　as　he　continued。　〃To　be　perfectly　honest；　
she'll　be　unavailable　every　night；　as　far　as　anyone　besides　myself　is　
concerned。　No　offense。　And　I'm　sorry　about　your　evening。〃　He　didn't　sound　
sorry　at　all。　And　then　he　snapped　the　phone　shut；　a　huge　smirk　on　his　
face。　

My　face　and　neck　flushed　crimson　with　anger。　I　could　feel　the　
rageinduced　tears　starting　to　fill　my　eyes。　

He　looked　at　me　in　surprise。　〃Was　that　last　part　a　bit　too　much？　I　didn't　
mean　to　offend　you。〃　

I　ignored　that。　

〃You're　taking　me　to　the　prom！〃　I　yelled。　

It　was　embarrassingly　obvious　now。　If　I'd　been　paying　any　attention　at　
all；　I'm　sure　I　would　have　noticed　the　date　on　the　posters　that　decorated　
the　school　buildings。　But　I'd　never　dreamed　he　was　thinking　of　subjecting　
me　to　this。　Didn't　he　know　me　at　all？　

He　wasn't　expecting　the　force　of　my　reaction；　that　was　clear。　He　pressed　
his　lips　together　and　his　eyes　narrowed。　〃Don't　be　difficult；　Bella。〃　

My　eyes　flashed　to　the　window；　we　were　halfway　to　the　school　already。　

〃Why　are　you　doing　this　to　me？〃　I　demanded　in　horror。　

He　gestured　to　his　tuxedo。　〃Honestly；　Bella；　what　did　you　think　we　were　
doing？〃　

I　was　mortified。　First；　because　I'd　missed　the　obvious。　And　also　because　
the　vague　suspicions　—　expectations；　really　—　that　I'd　been　forming　all　
day；　as　Alice　tried　to　transform　me　into　a　beauty　queen；　were　so　far　wide　
of　the　mark。　My　halffearful　hopes　seemed　very　silly　now。　

I'd　guessed　there　was　some　kind　of　occasion　brewing。　But　prom！　That　was　
the　furthest　thing　from　my　mind。　

The　angry　tears　rolled　over　my　cheeks。　I　remembered　with　dismay　that　I　
was　very　uncharacteristically　wearing　mascara。　I　wiped　quickly　under　my　
eyes　to　prevent　any　smudges。　My　hand　was　unblackened　when　I　pulled　it　
away；　maybe　Alice　had　known　I　would　need　waterproof　makeup。　

〃This　is　pletely　ridiculous。　Why　are　you　crying？〃　he　demanded　in　
frustration。　

〃Because　I'm　mad！〃　

〃Bella。〃　He　turned　the　full　force　of　his　scorching　golden　eyes　on　me。　

〃What？〃　I　muttered；　distracted。　

〃Humor　me；〃　he　insisted。　

His　eyes　were　melting　all　my　fury。　It　was　impossible　to　fight　with　him　
when　he　cheated　like　that。　I　gave　in　with　poor　grace。　

〃Fine；〃　I　pouted；　unable　to　glare　as　effectively　as　I　would　have　liked。　
〃I'll　go　quietly。　But　you'll　see。　I'm　way　overdue　for　more　bad　luck。　I'll　
probably　break　my　other　leg。　Look　at　this　shoe！　It's　a　death　trap！〃　I　
held　out　my　good　leg　as　evidence。　

〃Hmmm。〃　He　stared　at　my　leg　longer　than　was　necessary。　〃Remind　me　to　
thank　Alice　for　that　tonight。〃　

〃Alice　is　going　to　be　there？〃　That　forted　me　slightly。　

〃With　Jasper；　and　Emmett…　and　Rosalie；〃　he　admitted。　

The　feeling　of　fort　disappeared。　There　had　been　no　progress　with　
Rosalie；　though　I　was　on　quite　good　terms　with　her　sometimeshusband。　
Emmett　enjoyed　having　me　around　—　he　thought　my　bizarre　human　reactions　
were　hilarious…　or　maybe　it　was　just　the　fact　that　I　fell　down　a　lot　that　
he　found　so　funny。　Rosalie　acted　as　if　I　didn't　exist。　While　I　shook　my　
head　to　dispel　the　direction　my　thoughts　had　taken；　I　thought　of　
something　else。　

〃Is　Charlie　in　on　this？〃　I　asked；　suddenly　suspicious。　

〃Of　course。〃　He　grinned；　and　then　chuckled。　〃Apparently　Tyler　wasn't；　
though。〃　

I　gritted　my　teeth。　How　Tyler　could　be　so　delusional；　I　couldn't　imagine。　
At　school；　where　Charlie　couldn't　interfere；　Edward　and　I　were　
inseparable　—　except　for　those　rare　sunny　days。　

We　were　at　the　school　now；　Rosalie's　red　convertible　was　conspicuous　in　
the　parking　lot。　The　clouds　were　thin　today；　a　few　streaks　of　sunlight　
escaping　through　far　away　in　the　west。　

He　got　out　and　walked　around　the　car　to　open　my　door。　He　held　out　his　
hand。　

I　sat　stubbornly　in　my　seat；　arms　folded；　feeling　a　secret　twinge　of　
smugness。　The　lot　was　crowded　with　people　in　formal　dress：　witnesses。　He　
couldn't　remove　me　forcibly　from　the　car　as　he　might　have　if　we'd　been　
alone。　

He　sighed。　〃When　someone　wants　to　kill　you；　you're　brave　as　a　lion　—　and　
then　when　someone　mentions　dancing…〃　He　shook　his　head。　

I　gulped。　Dancing。　

〃Bella；　I　won't　let　anything　hurt　you　—　not　even　yourself。　I　won't　let　go　
of　you　once；　I　promise。〃　

I　thought　about　that　and　suddenly　felt　much　better。　He　could　see　that　in　
my　face。　

〃There；　now；〃　he　said　gently；　〃it　won't　be　so　bad。〃　He　leaned　down　and　
wrapped　one　arm　around　my　waist。　I　took　his　other　hand　and　let　him　lift　
me　from　the　car。　

He　kept　his　arm　tightly　around　me；　supporting　me　as　I　limped　toward　the　
school。　

In　Phoenix；　they　held　proms　in　hotel　ballrooms。　This　dance　was　in　the　
gym；　of　course。　It　was　probably　the　only　room　in　town　big　enough　for　a　
dance。　When　we　got　inside；　I　giggled。　There　were　actual　balloon　arches　

and　twisted　garlands　of　pastel　crepe　paper　festooning　the　walls。　

〃This　looks　like　a　horror　movie　waiting　to　happen；〃　I　snickered。　

〃Well；〃　he　muttered　as　we　slowly　approached　the　ticket　table　—　he　was　
carrying　most　of　my　weight；　but　I　still　had　to　shuffle　and　wobble　my　feet　
forward　—　〃there　are　more　than　enough　vampires　present。〃　

I　looked　at　the　dance　floor；　a　wide　gap　had　formed　in　the　center　of　the　
floor；　where　two　couples　whirled　gracefully。　The　other　dancers　pressed　to　
the　sides　of　the　room　to　give　them　space　—　no　one　wanted　to　stand　in　
contrast　with　such　radiance。　Emmett　and　Jasper　were　intimidating　and　
flawless　in　classic　tuxedos。　Alice　was　striking　in　a　black　satin　dress　
with　geometric　cutouts　that　bared　large　triangles　of　her　snowy　white　
skin。　And　Rosalie　was…　well；　Rosalie。　She　was　beyond　belief。　Her　vivid　
scarlet　dress　was　backless；　tight　to　her　calves　where　it　flared　into　a　
wide　ruffled　train；　with　a　neckline　that　plunged　to　her　waist。　I　pitied　
every　girl　in　the　room；　myself　included。　

〃Do　you　want　me　to　bolt　the　doors　so　you　can　massacre　the　unsuspecting　
townsfolk？〃　I　whispered　conspiratorially。　

〃And　where　do　you　fit　into　that　scheme？〃　He　glared。　

〃Oh；　I'm　with　the　vampires；　of　course。〃　

He　smiled　reluctantly。　〃Anything　to　get　out　of　dancing。〃　

〃Anything。〃　

He　bought　our　tickets；　then　turned　me　toward　the　dance　floor。　I　cringed　
against　his　arm　and　dragged　my　feet。　

〃I've　got　all　night；〃　he　warned。　

Eventually　he　towed　me　out　to　where　his　family　was　twirling　elegantly　—　
if　in　a　style　totally　unsuitable　to　the　present　time　and　music。　I　watched　
in　horror。　

〃Edward。〃　My　throat　was　so　dry　I　could　only　manage　a　whisper。　〃I　honestly　
can't　dance！〃　I　could　feel　the　panic　bubbling　up　inside　my　chest。　

〃Don't　worry；　silly；〃　he　whispered　back。　〃I　can。〃　He　put　my　arms　around　
his　neck　and　lifted　me　to　slide　his　feet　under　mine。　

And　then　we　were　whirling；　too。　

〃I　feel　like　I'm　five　years　old；〃　I　laughed　after　a　few　minutes　of　
effortless　waltzing。　

〃You　don't　look　five；〃　he　murmured；　pulling　me　closer　for　a　second；　so　
that　my　feet　were　briefly　a　foot　from　the　ground。　

Alice　caught　my　eye　on　a　turn　and　smiled　in　encouragement　—　I　smiled　
back。　I　was　surprised　to　r