4 breaking dawn破晓-第43部分

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others　saw　it；　rather　than　flipped　in　a　reflection。　

My　memory　face　was　twisted；　ravaged；　covered　in　sweat　and　blood。　Despite　this；　my　expression　in　the　
vision　became　an　adoring　smile；　my　brown　eyes　glowed　over　their　deep　circles。　The　image　enlarged；　my　
face　came　closer　to　the　unseen　vantage　point；　and　then　abruptly　vanished。　

Renesmee's　hand　dropped　from　my　cheek。　She　smiled　wider；　dimpling　again。　

It　was　totally　silent　in　the　room　but　for　the　heartbeats。　No　one　but　Jacob　and　Renesmee　was　so　much　as　
breathing。　The　silence　stretched　on；　it　seemed　like　they　were　waiting　for　me　to　say　something。　

〃What。。。　was。。。　that？〃　I　managed　to　choke　out。　

〃What　did　you　see？〃　Rosalie　asked　curiously；　leaning　around　Jacob；　who　seemed　very　much　in　the　way　
and　out　of　place　at　the　moment。　〃What　did　she　show　you？〃　

〃Srte　showed　me　that？〃　I　whispered。　

〃I　told　you　it　was　hard　to　explain；〃　Edward　murmured　in　my　ear。　〃But　effective　as　means　of　
munications　go。〃　

〃What　was　it？〃　Jacob　asked。　

I　blinked　quickly　several　times。　〃Um。　Me。　I　think。　But　I　looked　terrible。〃　

〃It　was　the　only　memory　she　had　of　you；〃　Edward　explained。　It　was　obvious　he'd　seen　what　she　was　
showing　me　as　she　thought　of　it。　He　was　still　cringing；　his　voice　rough　from　reliving　the　memory。　〃She's　
letting　you　know　that　she's　made　the　connection；　that　she　knows　who　you　are。〃　

〃Butrtowdidshedothat？〃　

Renesmee　seemed　unconcerned　with　my　boggling　eyes。　She　was　smiling　slightly　and　pulling　on　a　lock　of　
my　hair。　

〃How　do　I　hear　thoughts？　How　does　Alice　see　the　future？〃　Edward　asked　rhetorically；　and　then　
shrugged。　

〃She's　gifted。〃　

〃It's　an　interesting　twist；〃　Carlisle　said　to　Edward。　〃Like　she's　doing　the　exact　opposite　of　what　you　can。〃　



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〃Interesting；〃　Edward　agreed。　〃I　wonder___〃　

I　knew　they　were　speculating　away；　but　I　didn't　care。　I　was　staring　at　the　most　beautiful　face　in　the　
world。　She　was　hot　in　my　arms；　reminding　me　of　the　moment　when　the　blackness　had　almost　won；　when　
there　was　nothing　in　the　world　left　to　hold　on　to。　Nothing　strong　enough　to　pull　me　through　the　crushing　
darkness。　The　moment　when　I'd　thought　of　Renesmee　and　found　something　I　would　never　let　go　of。　

〃I　remember　you；　too；〃　I　told　her　quietly。　

It　seemed　very　natural　to　lean　in　and　press　my　lips　to　her　forehead。　She　smelled　wonderful。　The　scent　of　
her　skin　set　my　throat　burning；　but　it　was　easy　to　ignore。　It　didn't　strip　the　joy　from　the　moment。　
Renesmee　was　real　and　I　knew　her。　She　was　the　same　one　I'd　fought　for　from　the　beginning。　My　little　
nudger；　the　one　who　loved　me　from　the　inside；　too。　Half　Edward；　perfect　and　lovely。　And　half　me　
—which；　surprisingly；　made　her　better　rather　than　detracting。　

I'd　been　right　all　along。　She　was　worth　the　fight。　

〃She's　fine；〃　Alice　murmured；　probably　to　Jasper。　I　could　feel　them　hovering；　not　trusting　me。　

〃Haven't　we　experimented　enough　for　one　day？〃　Jacob　asked；　his　voice　a　slightly　higher　pitch　with　
stress。　〃Okay；　Bella's　doing　great；　but　let's　not　push　it。〃　

I　glared　at　him　with　real　irritation。　Jasper　shuffled　uneasily　next　to　me。　We　were　all　crowded　so　close　that　
every　tiny　movement　seemed　very　big。　

〃What　is　your　problem；　Jacob？〃　I　demanded。　I　tugged　lightly　against　his　hold　on　Renesmee；　and　he　just　
stepped　closer　to　me。　He　was　pressed　right　up　to　me；　Renesmee　touching　both　of　our　chests。　

Edward　hissed　at　him。　〃Just　because　I　understand；　it　doesn't　mean　I　won't　throw　you　out；　Jacob。　Bella's　
doing　extraordinarily　well。　Don't　ruin　the　moment　for　her。〃　

〃I'll　help　him　toss　you；　dog；〃　Rosalie　promised；　her　voice　seething。　〃I　owe　you　a　good　kick　in　the　gut。〃　
Obviously；　there　was　no　change　in　that　relationship；　unless　it　had　gotten　worse。　

I　glared　at　Jacob's　anxious　halfangry　expression。　His　eyes　were　locked　on　Renesmee's　face。　With　
everyone　pressed　together；　he　had　to　be　touching　at　least　six　different　vampires　at　the　moment；　and　it　
didn't　even　seem　to　bug　him。　

Would　he　really　go　through　all　this　just　to　protect　me　from　myself？　What　could　have　happened　during　my　
transformation—my　alteration　into　something　he　hated—that　would　soften　him　so　much　toward　the　
reason　for　its　necessity？　

I　puzzled　over　it；　watching　him　stare　at　my　daughter。　Staring　at　her　like。。。　like　he　was　a　blind　man　seeing　
the　sun　for　the　very　first　time。　

〃No！〃I　gasped。　

Jasper's　teeth　came　together　and　Edward's　arms　wrapped　around　my　chest　like　constricting　boas。　Jacob　
had　Renesmee　out　of　my　arms　in　the　same　second；　and　I　did　not　try　to　hold　on　to　her。　Because　I　felt　it　
ing—the　snap　



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that　they'd　all　been　waiting　for。　

〃Rose；〃　I　said　through　my　teeth；　very　slowly　and　precisely。　〃Take　Renesmee。〃　

Rosalie　held　her　hands　out；　and　Jacob　handed　my　daughter　to　her　at　once。　Both　of　them　backed　away　
from　me。　

〃Edward；　I　don't　want　to　hurt　you；　so　please　let　go　of　me。〃　

He　hesitated。　

〃Go　stand　in　front　of　Renesmee；〃　I　suggested。　

He　deliberated；　and　then　let　me　go。　

I　leaned　into　my　hunting　crouch　and　took　two　slow　steps　forward　toward　Jacob。　

〃You　didn't；〃　I　snarled　at　him。　

He　backed　away；　palms　up；　trying　to　reason　with　me。　〃You　know　it's　not　something　I　can　control。〃　

〃You　stupid　mutt　How　could　you？　My　babyf　

He　backed　out　the　front　door　now　as　I　stalked　him；　halfrunning　backward　down　the　stairs。　〃It　wasn't　
my　idea；　Bella！〃　

〃I've　held　her　all　of　one　time；　and　already　you　think　you　have　some　moronic　wolfy　claim　to　her？　She's　
mine〃　

〃I　can　share；〃　he　said　pleadingly　as　he　retreated　across　the　lawn。　

〃Pay　up；〃　I　heard　Emmett　say　behind　me。　A　small　part　of　my　brain　wondered　who　had　bet　against　this　
oute。　I　didn't　waste　much　attention　on　it。　I　was　too　furious。　

〃How　dare　you　imprint　on　my　baby？　Have　you　lost　your　mind？〃　

〃It　was　involuntary！〃　he　insisted；　backing　into　the　trees。　

Then　he　wasn't　alone。　The　two　huge　wolves　reappeared；　flanking　him　on　either　side。　Leah　snapped　at　
me。　

A　fearsome　snarl　ripped　through　my　teeth　back　at　her。　The　sound　disturbed　me；　but　not　enough　to　stop　
my　advance。　

〃Bella；　would　you　try　to　listen　for　just　a　second？　Please？〃　Jacob　begged。　〃Leah；　back　off；〃　he　added。　

Leah　curled　her　lip　at　me　and　didn't　move。　

〃Why　should　I　listen？〃　I　hissed。　Fury　reigned　in　my　head。　It　clouded　everything　else　out。　




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〃Because　you're　the　one　who　told　me　this。　Do　you　remember？　You　said　we　belonged　in　each　other's　
lives；　right？　That　we　were　family。　You　said　that　was　how　you　and　I　were　supposed　to　be。　So。。。　now　we　
are。　It's　what　you　wanted。〃　

I　glared　ferociously。　I　did　dimly　remember　those　words。　But　my　new　quick　brain　was　two　steps　ahead　of　
his　nonsense。　

〃You　think　you'll　be　part　of　my　family　as　my　soninlawV　I　screeched。　My　bell　voice　ripped　through　two　
octaves　and　still　came　out　sounding　like　music。　

Emmett　laughed。　

〃Stop　her；　Edward；〃　Esme　murmured。　〃She'll　be　unhappy　if　she　hurts　him。〃　

But　I　felt　no　pursuit　behind　me。　

〃No！〃　Jacob　was　insisting　at　the　same　time。　〃How　can　you　even　look　at　it　that　way？　She's　just　a　baby；　
for　crying　out　loud！〃　

〃That's　mypointl〃　I　yelled。　

〃You　know　I　don't　think　of　her　that　way！　Do　you　think　Edward　would　have　let　me　live　this　long　if　I　did？　
All　I　want　is　for　her　to　be　safe　and　happy—is　that　so　bad？　So　different　from　what　you　want？〃　He　was　
shouting　right　back　at　me。　

Beyond　words；　I　shrieked　a　growl　at　him。　

〃Amazing；　isn't　she？〃　I　heard　Edward　murmur。　

〃She　hasn't　gone　for　his　throat　even　once；〃　Carlisle　agreed；　sounding　stunned。　

〃Fine；　you　win　this　one；〃　Emmett　said　grudgingly。　

〃You're　going　to　stay　away　from　her；〃　I　hissed　up　at　Jacob。　

〃I　can't　do　that！〃　

Through　my　teeth：　〃Try。　Starting　now〃　

〃It's　not　possible。　Do　you　remember　how　much　you　wanted　me　around　three　days　ago？　How　hard　it　
was　to　be　apart　from　each　other？　That's　gone　for　you　now；　isn't　it？〃　

I　glared；　not　sure　what　he　was　implying。　

〃That　was　her；〃　he　told　me。　〃From　the　very　beginning。　We　had　to　be　together；　even　then。〃　

I　remembered；　and　then　I　understood；　a　tiny　part　of　me　was　relieved　to　have　the　madness　explained。　But　
that　relief　somehow　only　made　me　angrier。　Was　he　expecting　that　to　be　enough　for　me？　That　one　little　
clarification　would　make　me　okay　with　this？　

〃Run　away　while　you　still　can；〃　I　threatened。　



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〃C'mon；Bells！　Nessie　likes　me；　too；〃　he　insisted。　

I　froze。　My　breathing　stopped。　Behind　me；　I　heard　the　lack　of　sound　that　was　their　anxious　reaction。　

〃What。。。did　youcall　her？〃　

Jacob　took　a　step　farther　back；　managing　to　look　sheepish。　〃Well；〃　he　mumbled；　〃that　name　you　came　
up　with　is　kind　of　a　mouthful　and—〃　

〃You　nicknamed　my　daughter　after　the　Loch　Ness　Monster？〃　I　screeched。　

And　then　I　lunged　for　his　throat。　

23。　MEMORIES　

Tm　so　sorry；　Seth。　I　should　have　been　closer。〃　

Edward　was　still　apologizing；　and　I　didn't　think　that　was　either　fair　or　appropriate。　After　all；　Edward　
hadn't　pletely　and　inexcusably　lost　control　of　his　temper。　Edward　hadn't　tried　to　rip　Jacob's　head　off　
—Jacob；　who　wouldn't　even　phase　to　protect　himself—and　then　accidentally　broken　Seth's　shoulder　and　
collarbone　when　he　jumped　in　between。　Edward　hadn't　almost　killed　his　best　friend。　

Not　that　the　best　friend　didn't　have　a　few　things　to　answer　for；　but；　obviously；　nothing　Jacob　had　done　
could　have　mitigated　my　behavior。　

So　shouldn't　　have　been　the　one　apologizing？　I　tried　again。　

〃Seth；　I—〃　

〃Don't　worry　about　it；　Bella；　I'm　totally　fine；〃　Seth　said　at　the　same　time　that　Edward　said；　〃Bella；　love；　
no　one　is　judging　you。　You're　doing　so　well。〃　

They　hadn't　let　me　finish　a　sentence　yet。　

It　only　made　it　worse　that　Edward　was　having　a　difficult　time　keeping　the　smile　off　his　face。　I　knew　that　
Jacob　didn't　deserve　my　overreaction；　but　Edward　seemed　to　find　something　satisfying　in　it。　Maybe　he　
was　just　wishing　that　he　had　the　excuse　of　being　a　newborn　so　that　he　could　do　something　physical　about　
his　irritation　with　Jacob；　too。　

I　tried　to　erase　the　anger　from　my　system　entirely；　but　it　was　hard；　knowing　that　Jacob　was　outside　with　
Renesmee　right　now。　Keeping　her　safe　from　me；　the　crazed　newborn。　

Carlisle　secured　another　piece　of　the　brace　to　Seth's　arm；　and　Seth　winced。　

〃Sorry；　sorry！〃　I　mumbled；　knowing　I'd　never　get　a　fully　articulated　apology　out。　

〃Don't　freak；　Bella；〃　Seth　said；　patting　my　knee　with　his　good　hand　while　Edward　rubbed　my　arm　from　
the　other　side。　

Seth　seemed　to　feel　no　aversion　to　having　me　sit　beside　him　on　the　sofa　as　Carlisle　treated　him。　〃I'll　be　



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back　to　normal　in　half　an　hour；〃　he　continued；　still　patting　my　knee　as　if　oblivious　to　the　cold；　hard　texture　
of　it。　〃Anyone　would　have　done　the　same；　what　with　Jake　and　Ness—〃　He　broke　off　midword　and　
changed　the　subject　quickly。　〃I　mean；　at　least　you　didn't　bite　me　or　anything。　That　would've　sucked。〃　

I　buried　my　face　in　my　hands　and　shuddered　at　the　thought；　at　the　very　real　possibility。　It　could　have　
happened　so　easily。　And　werewolves　didn't　react　to　vampire　venom　the　same　way　humans　did；　they'd　
told　me　only　now。　It　was　poison　to　them。　

〃I'm　a　bad　person。〃　

〃Of　course　you　aren't。　I　should　have—；〃　Edward　started。　

〃Stop　that；〃　I　sighed。　I　didn't　want　him　taking　the　blame　for　this　the　way　he　always　took　everything　on　
himself。　

〃Lucky　thing　Ness—Renesmee's　not　venomous；〃　Seth　said　after　a　second　of　awkward　silence。　'〃Cause　
she　bites　Jake　all　the　time。〃　

My　hands　dropped。　〃She　does？〃　

〃Sure。　Whenever　he　and　Rose　don't　get　dinner　in　her　mouth　fast　enough。　Rose　thinks　it's　pretty　
hilarious。〃　

I　stared　at　him；　shocked；　and　also　feeling　guilty；　because　I　had　to　admit　that　this　pleased　me　a　teensy　bit　
in　a　petulant　way。　

Of　course；　I　already　knew　that　Renesmee　wasn't　venomous。　I　was　the　first　person　she'd　bitten。　I　didn't　
make　this　observation　aloud；　as　I　was　feigning　memory　loss　on　those　recent　events。　

〃Well；　Seth；〃　Carlisle　said；　straightening　up　and　stepping　away　from　us。　〃I　think　that's　as　much　as　I　can　
do。　Try　to　not　move　for；　oh；　a　few　hours；　I　guess。〃　Carlisle　chuckled。　〃I　wish　treating　humans　were　this　
instantaneously　gratifying。〃　He　rested　his　hand　for　a　moment　on　Seth's　black　hair。　〃Stay　still；〃　he　ordered；　
and　then　he　disappeared　upstairs。　I　heard　his　office　door　close；　and　I　wondered　if　they'd　already　
removed　the　evidence　of　my　time　there。　

〃I　can　probably　manage　sitting　still　for　a　while；〃　Seth　agreed　after　Carlisle　was　already　gone；　and　then　he　
yawned　hugely。　Carefully；　making　sure　not　to　tweak　his　shoulder；　Seth　leaned　his　head　against　the　sofa's　
back　and　closed　his　eyes。　Seconds　later；　his　mouth　fell　slack。　

I　frowned　at　his　peaceful　face　for　another　minute。　Like　Jacob；　Seth　seemed　to　have　the　gift　of　falling　
asleep　at　will。　Knowing　I　wouldn't　be　able　to　apologize　again　for　a　while；　I　got　up；　the　motion　didn't　jostle　
the　couch　in　the　slightest。　Everything　physical　was　so　easy。　But　the　rest。。。　

Edward　followed　me　to　the　back　windows　and　took　my　hand。　

Leah　was　pacing　along　the　river；　stopping　every　now　and　then　to　look　at　the　house。　It　was　easy　to　tell　
when　she　was　looking　for　her　brother　and　when　she　was　looking　for　me。　She　alternated　between　anxious　
glances　and　murderous　glares。　

I　could　hear　Jacob　and　Rosalie　outside　on　the　front　steps　bickering　quietly　over　whose　turn　it　was　to　
feed　Renesmee。　Their　relationship　was　as　antagonistic　as　ever；　the　only　thing　they　agreed　on　now　was　



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that　I　should　be　kept　away　from　my　baby　until　I　was　one　hundred　percent　recovered　from　my　temper　
tantrum。　Edward　had　disputed　

their　verdict；　but　I'd　let　it　go。　I　wanted　to　be　sure；　too。　I　was　worried；　though；　that　my　one　hundred　
percent　sure　and　their　one　hundred　percent　sure　might　be　very　different　things。　

Other　than　their　squabbling；　Seth's　slow　breathing；　and　Leah's　annoyed　panting；　it　was　very　quiet。　
Emmett；　Alice；　and　Esme　were　hunting。　Jasper　had　stayed　behind　to　watch　me。　He　stood　unobtrusively　
behind　the　newel　post　now；　trying　not　to　be　obnoxious　about　it。　

I　took　advantage　of　the　calm　to　think　of　all　the　things　Edward　and　Seth　had　told　me　while　Carlisle　
splinted　Seth's　arm。　I'd　missed　a　whole　lot　while　I　was　burning；　and　this　was　the　first　real　chance　to　catch　
up。　

The　main　thing　was　the　end　of　the　feud　with　Sam's　pack—which　was　why　the　others　felt　safe　to　e　
and　go　as　they　pleased　again。　The　truce　was　stronger　than　ever。　Or　more　binding；　depending　on　your　
viewpoint；　I　imagined。　

Binding；　because　the　most　absolute　of　all　the　pack's　laws　was　that　no　wolf　ever　kill　the　object　of　another　
wolfs　imprinting。　The　pain　of　such　a　thing　would　be　intolerable　for　the　whole　pack。　The　fault；　whether　
intended　or　accidental