4 breaking dawn破晓-第42部分

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I　took　another　breath　and　relaxed。　〃Huh。　I　can　see　what　everyone's　been　going　on　about。　You　stink；　
Jacob。〃　

Edward　burst　into　laughter；　his　hands　slipped　from　my　shoulders　to　wrap　around　my　waist。　Seth　barked　
a　low　chortle　in　harmony　with　Edward；　he　came　a　little　closer　while　Leah　retreated　several　paces。　And　
then　I　was　aware　of　another　audience　when　I　heard　Emmett's　low；　distinct　guffaw；　muffled　a　little　by　the　
glass　wall　between　us。　

〃Look　who's　talking；〃　Jacob　said；　theatrically　plugging　his　nose。　His　face　didn't　pucker　at　all　while　
Edward　embraced　me；　not　even　when　Edward　posed　himself　and　whispered　〃I　love　you〃　in　my　ear。　
Jacob　just　kept　grinning。　This　made　me　feel　hopeful　that　things　were　going　to　be　right　between　us；　the　
way　they　hadn't　been　for　so　long　now。　Maybe　now　I　could　truly　be　his　friend；　since　I　disgusted　him　
enough　physically　that　he　couldn't　love　me　the　same　way　as　before。　Maybe　that　was　all　that　was　needed。　

〃Okay；　so　I　passed；　right？〃　I　said。　〃Now　are　you　going　to　tell　me　what　this　big　secret　is？〃　

Jacob's　expression　became　very　nervous。　〃It's　nothing　you　need　to　worry　about　this　second___〃　

I　heard　Emmett　chuckle　again—a　sound　of　anticipation。　

I　would　have　pressed　my　point；　but　as　I　listened　to　Emmett；　I　heard　other　sounds；　too。　Seven　people　
breathing。　One　set　of　lungs　moving　more　rapidly　than　the　others。　Only　one　heart　fluttering　like　a　bird's　
wings；　light　and　quick。　

I　was　totally　diverted。　My　daughter　was　just　on　the　other　side　of　that　thin　wall　of　glass。　I　couldn't　see　her　
—the　light　bounced　off　the　reflective　windows　like　a　mirror。　I　could　only　see　myself；　looking　very　
strange—so　white　and　still—pared　to　Jacob。　Or；　pared　to　Edward；　looking　exactly　right。　

〃Renesmee；〃　I　whispered。　Stress　made　me　a　statue　again。　Renesmee　wasn't　going　to　smell　like　an　animal。　
Would　I　put　her　in　danger？　

〃e　and　see；〃　Edward　murmured。　〃I　know　you　can　handle　this。〃　

〃You'll　help　me？〃　I　whispered　through　motionless　lips。　



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〃Of　course　I　will。〃　

〃And　Emmett　and　Jasper—just　in　case？〃　

〃We'll　take　care　of　you；　Bella。　Don't　worry；　we'll　be　ready。　None　of　us　would　risk　Renesmee。　I　think　
you'll　be　surprised　at　how　entirely　she's　already　wrapped　us　all　around　her　little　fingers。　She'll　be　perfectly　
safe；　no　matter　what。〃　

My　yearning　to　see　her；　to　understand　the　worship　in　his　voice；　broke　my　frozen　pose。　I　took　a　step　
forward。　

And　then　Jacob　was　in　my　way；　his　face　a　mask　of　worry。　

〃Are　you　sure；　bloodsucker？〃　he　demanded　of　Edward；　his　voice　almost　pleading。　I'd　never　heard　him　
speak　to　Edward　that　way。　〃I　don't　like　this。　Maybe　she　should　wait—〃　

〃You　had　your　test；　Jacob。〃　

It　was　Jacob's　test？　

〃But—；〃　Jacob　began。　

〃But　nothing；〃　Edward　said；　suddenly　exasperated。　〃Bella　needs　to　see　our　daughter。　Get　out　of　her　
way。〃　

Jacob　shot　me　an　odd；　frantic　look　and　then　turned　and　nearly　sprinted　into　the　house　ahead　of　us。　

Edward　growled。　

I　couldn't　make　sense　of　their　confrontation；　and　I　couldn't　concentrate　on　it；　either。　I　could　only　think　
about　the　blurred　child　in　my　memory　and　struggle　against　the　haziness；　trying　to　remember　her　face　
exactly。　

〃Shall　we？〃　Edward　said；　his　voice　gentle　again。　

I　nodded　nervously。　

He　took　my　hand　tightly　in　his　and　led　the　way　into　the　house。　

They　waited　for　me　in　a　smiling　line　that　was　both　weling　and　defensive。　Rosalie　was　several　paces　
behind　the　rest　of　them；　near　the　front　door。　She　was　alone　until　Jacob　joined　her　and　then　stood　in　front　
of　her；　closer　than　was　normal。　There　was　no　sense　of　fort　in　that　closeness；　both　of　them　seemed　to　
cringe　from　the　proximity。　

Someone　very　small　was　leaning　forward　out　of　Rosalie's　arms；　peering　around　Jacob。　Immediately；　she　
had　my　absolute　attention；　my　every　thought；　the　way　nothing　else　had　owned　them　since　the　moment　I'd　
opened　my　eyes。　

〃I　was　out　just　two　days？〃　I　gasped；　disbelieving。　




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The　strangerchild　in　Rosalie's　arms　had　to　be　weeks；　if　not　months；　old。　She　was　maybe　twice　the　size　
of　the　baby　in　my　dim　memory；　and　she　seemed　to　be　supporting　her　own　torso　easily　as　she　stretched　
toward　me。Her　shiny　bronzecolored　hair　fell　in　ringlets　past　her　shoulders。　Her　chocolate　brown　eyes　
examined　me　with　an　interest　that　was　not　at　all　childlike；　it　was　adult；　aware　and　intelligent。　She　raised　
one　hand；　reaching　in　my　direction　for　a　moment；　and　then　reached　back　to　touch　Rosalie's　throat。　

If　her　face　had　not　been　astonishing　in　its　beauty　and　perfection；　I　wouldn't　have　believed　it　was　the　same　
child。　My　child。　

But　Edward　was　there　in　her　features；　and　I　was　there　in　the　color　of　her　eyes　and　cheeks。　Even　Charlie　
had　a　place　in　her　thick　curls；　though　their　color　matched　Edward's。　She　must　be　ours。　Impossible；　but　
still　true。　

Seeing　this　unanticipated　little　person　did　not　make　her　more　real；　though。　It　only　made　her　more　
fantastic。　

Rosalie　patted　the　hand　against　her　neck　and　murmured；　〃Yes；　that's　her。〃　

Renesmee's　eyes　stayed　locked　on　mine。　Then；　as　she　had　just　seconds　after　her　violent　birth；　she　smiled　
at　me。　A　brilliant　flash　of　tiny；　perfect　white　teeth。　

Reeling　inside；　I　took　a　hesitant　step　toward　her。　

Everyone　moved　very　fast。　

Emmett　and　Jasper　were　right　in　front　of　me；　shoulder　to　shoulder；　hands　ready。　Edward　gripped　me　
from　behind；　fingers　tight　again　on　the　tops　of　my　arms。　Even　Carlisle　and　Esme　moved　to　get　Emmett's　
and　Jasper's　flanks；　while　Rosalie　backed　to　the　door；　her　arms　clutching　at　Renesmee。　Jacob　moved；　
too；　keeping　his　protective　stance　in　front　of　them。　

Alice　was　the　only　one　who　held　her　place。　

〃Oh；　give　her　some　credit；〃　she　chided　them。　〃She　wasn't　going　to　do　anything。　You'd　want　a　closer　
look；　too。〃　

Alice　was　right。　I　was　in　control　of　myself。　I'd　been　braced　for　anything—for　a　scent　as　impossibly　
insistent　as　the　human　smell　in　the　woods。　The　temptation　here　was　really　not　parable。　Renesmee's　
fragrance　was　perfectly　balanced　right　on　the　line　between　the　scent　of　the　most　beautiful　perfume　and　the　
scent　of　the　most　delicious　food。　There　was　enough　of　the　sweet　vampire　smell　to　keep　the　human　part　
from　being　overwhelming。　

I　could　handle　it。　I　was　sure。　

〃I'm　okay；〃　I　promised；　patting　Edward's　hand　on　my　arm。　Then　I　hesitated　and　added；　〃Keep　close；　
though；　just　in　case。〃　

Jasper's　eyes　were　tight；　focused。　I　knew　he　was　taking　in　my　emotional　climate；　and　I　worked　on　
settling　into　a　steady　calm。　I　felt　Edward　free　my　arms　as　he　read　Jasper's　assessment。　But；　though　Jasper　
was　getting　it　firsthand；　he　didn't　seem　as　certain。　

When　she　heard　my　voice；　the　tooaware　child　struggled　in　Rosalie's　arms；　reaching　toward　me。　



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Somehow；　her　expression　managed　to　look　impatient。　

〃Jazz；　Em；　let　us　through。　Bella's　got　this。〃　

〃Edward；　the　risk—；〃　Jasper　said。　

〃Minimal。　Listen；　Jasper—on　the　hunt　she　caught　the　scent　of　some　hikers　who　were　in　the　wrong　place　
at　the　wrong　time___〃　

I　heard　Carlisle　suck　in　a　shocked　breath。　Esme's　face　was　suddenly　full　of　concern　mingled　with　
passion。　Jasper's　eyes　widened；　but　he　nodded　just　a　tiny　bit；　as　if　Edward's　words　answered　some　
question　in　his　head。　Jacob's　mouth　screwed　up　into　a　disgusted　grimace。　Emmett　shrugged。　Rosalie　
seemed　even　less　concerned　than　Emmett　as　she　tried　to　hold　on　to　the　struggling　child　in　her　arms。　

Alice's　expression　told　me　that　she　was　not　fooled。　Her　narrowed　eyes；　focused　with　burning　intensity　on　
my　borrowed　shirt；　seemed　more　worried　about　what　I'd　done　to　my　dress　than　anything　else。　

〃Edward！〃　Carlisle　chastened。　〃How　could　you　be　so　irresponsible？〃　

〃I　know；　Carlisle；　I　know。　I　was　just　plain　stupid。　I　should　have　taken　the　time　to　make　sure　we　were　in　
a　safe　

zone　before　I　set　her　loose。〃　

〃Edward；〃　I　mumbled；　embarrassed　by　the　way　they　stared　at　me。　It　was　like　they　were　trying　to　see　a　
brighter　red　in　my　eyes。　

〃He's　absolutely　right　to　rebuke　me；　Bella；〃　Edward　said　with　a　grin。　〃I　made　a　huge　mistake。　The　fact　
that　you　are　stronger　than　anyone　I've　ever　known　doesn't　change　that。〃　

Alice　rolled　her　eyes。　〃Tasteful　joke；　Edward。〃　

〃I　wasn't　making　a　joke。　I　was　explaining　to　Jasper　why　I　know　Bella　can　handle　this。　It's　not　my　fault　
everyone　jumped　to　conclusions。〃　

〃Wait；〃　Jasper　gasped。　〃She　didn't　hunt　the　humans？〃　

〃She　started　to；〃　Edward　said；　clearly　enjoying　himself。　My　teeth　ground　together。　〃She　was　entirely　
focused　on　the　hunt。〃　

〃What　happened？〃　Carlisle　interjected。　His　eyes　were　suddenly　bright；　an　amazed　smile　beginning　to　
form　on　his　face。　It　reminded　me　of　before；　when　he'd　wanted　the　details　on　my　transformation　
experience。　The　thrill　of　new　information。　

Edward　leaned　toward　him；　animated。　〃She　heard　me　behind　her　and　reacted　defensively。　As　soon　as　
my　pursuit　broke　into　her　concentration；　she　snapped　right　out　of　it。　I've　never　seen　anything　to　equal　her。　
She　realized　at　once　what　was　happening；　and　then。。。　she　held　her　breath　and　ran　away〃　

〃Whoa；〃　Emmett　murmured。　〃Seriously？〃　

〃He's　not　telling　it　right；〃　I　muttered；　more　embarrassed　than　before。　〃He　left　out　the　part　where　I　



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growled　at　him。〃　

〃Did　ya　get　in　a　couple　of　good　swipes？〃　Emmett　asked　eagerly。　

〃No！　Of　course　not。〃　

〃No；　not　really？　You　really　didn't　attack　him？〃　

〃Emmett！〃　I　protested。　

〃Aw；　what　a　waste；〃　Emmett　groaned。　〃And　here　you're　probably　the　one　person　who　could　take　him　
—since　he　can't　get　in　your　head　to　cheat—and　you　had　a　perfect　excuse；　too。〃　He　sighed。　〃I've　been　
dying　to　see　how　he'd　do　without　that　advantage。〃　

I　glared　at　him　frostily。　〃I　would　never。〃　

Jasper's　frown　caught　my　attention；　he　seemed　even　more　disturbed　than　before。　

Edward　touched　his　fist　lightly　to　Jasper's　shoulder　in　a　mock　punch。　〃You　see　what　I　mean？〃　

〃It's　not　natural；〃　Jasper　muttered。　

〃She　could　have　turned　on　you—she's　only　hours　old！〃　Esme　scolded；　putting　her　hand　against　her　heart。　
〃Oh；　we　should　have　gone　with　you。〃　

I　wasn't　paying　so　much　attention；　now　that　Edward　was　past　the　punch　line　of　his　joke。　I　was　staring　at　
the　gorgeous　child　by　the　door；　who　was　still　staring　at　me。　Her　little　dimpled　hands　reached　out　toward　
me　like　she　knew　exactly　who　I　was。　Automatically；　my　hand　lifted　to　mimic　hers。　

〃Edward；〃　I　said；　leaning　around　Jasper　to　see　her　better。　〃Please？〃　

Jasper's　teeth　were　set；　he　didn't　move。　

〃Jazz；　this　isn't　anything　you've　seen　before；〃　Alice　said　quietly。　〃Trust　me。〃　

Their　eyes　met　for　a　short　second；　and　then　Jasper　nodded。　He　moved　out　of　my　way；　but　put　one　hand　
on　my　shoulder　and　moved　with　me　as　I　walked　slowly　forward。　

I　thought　about　every　step　before　I　took　it；　analyzing　my　mood；　the　burn　in　my　throat；　the　position　of　the　
others　around　me。　How　strong　I　felt　versus　how　well　they　would　be　able　to　contain　me。　It　was　a　slow　
procession。　

And　then　the　child　in　Rosalie's　arms；　struggling　and　reaching　all　this　time　while　her　expression　got　more　
and　more　irritated；　let　out　a　high；　ringing　wail。　Everyone　reacted　as　if—like　me—they'd　never　heard　her　
voice　before。　

They　swarmed　around　her　in　a　second；　leaving　me　standing　alone；　frozen　in　place。　The　sound　of　
Renesmee's　cry　pierced　right　through　me；　spearing　me　to　the　floor。　My　eyes　pricked　in　the　strangest　way；　
like　they　wanted　to　tear。　

It　seemed　like　everyone　had　a　hand　on　her；　patting　and　soothing。　Everyone　but　me。　



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〃What's　the　matter？　Is　she　hurt？　What　happened？〃　

It　was　Jacob's　voice　that　was　loudest；　that　raised　anxiously　above　the　others。　I　watched　in　shock　as　he　
reached　for　Renesmee；　and　then　in　utter　horror　as　Rosalie　surrendered　her　to　him　without　a　fight。　

〃No；　she's　fine；〃　Rosalie　reassured　him。　

Rosalie　was　reassuring　Jacob？　

Renesmee　went　to　Jacob　willingly　enough；　pushing　her　tiny　hand　against　his　cheek　and　then　squirming　
around　to　stretch　toward　me　again。　

〃See？〃　Rosalie　told　him。　〃She　just　wants　Bella。〃　

〃She　wants　me？〃　I　whispered。　

Renesmee's　eyes—my　eyes—stared　impatiently　at　me。　

Edward　darted　back　to　my　side。　He　put　his　hands　lightly　on　my　arms　and　urged　me　forward。　

〃She's　been　waiting　for　you　for　almost　three　days；〃　he　told　me。　

We　were　only　a　few　feet　away　from　her　now。　Bursts　of　heat　seemed　to　tremble　out　from　her　to　touch　
me。　

Or　maybe　it　was　Jacob　who　was　trembling。　I　saw　his　hands　shaking　as　I　got　closer。　And　yet；　despite　his　
obvious　anxiety；　his　face　was　more　serene　than　I　had　seen　it　in　a　long　time。　

〃Jake—I'm　fine；〃　I　told　him。　It　made　me　panicky　to　see　Renesmee　in　his　shaking　hands；　but　I　worked　to　
keep　myself　in　control。　

He　frowned　at　me；　eyes　tight；　like　he　was　just　as　panicky　at　the　thought　of　Renesmee　in　my　arms。　

Renesmee　whimpered　eagerly　and　stretched；　her　little　hands　grasping　into　fists　again　and　again。　

Something　in　me　clicked　into　place　at　that　moment。　The　sound　of　her　cry；　the　familiarity　of　her　eyes；　the　
way　she　seemed　even　more　impatient　than　I　did　for　this　reunion—all　of　it　wove　together　into　the　most　
natural　of　patterns　as　she　clutched　the　air　between　us。　Suddenly；　she　was　absolutely　real；　and　of　course　I　
knew　her。　It　was　perfectly　ordinary　that　I　should　take　that　last　easy　step　and　reach　for　her；　putting　my　
hands　exactly　where　they　would　fit　best　

as　I　pulled　her　gently　toward　me。　

Jacob　let　his　long　arms　stretch　so　that　I　could　cradle　her；　but　he　didn't　let　go。　He　shuddered　a　little　when　
our　skin　touched。　His　skin；　always　so　warm　to　me　before；　felt　like　an　open　flame　to　me　now。　It　was　
almost　the　same　temperature　as　Renesmee's。　Perhaps　one　or　two　degrees　difference。　

Renesmee　seemed　oblivious　to　the　coolness　of　my　skin；　or　at　least　very　used　to　it。　

She　looked　up　and　smiled　at　me　again；　showing　her　square　little　teeth　and　two　dimples。　Then；　very　



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deliberately；　she　reached　for　my　face。　

The　moment　she　did　this；　all　the　hands　on　me　tightened；　anticipating　my　reaction。　I　barely　noticed。　

I　was　gasping；　stunned　and　frightened　by　the　strange；　alarming　image　that　filled　my　mind。　It　felt　like　a　
very　strong　memory—I　could　still　see　through　my　eyes　while　I　watched　it　in　my　head—but　it　was　
pletely　unfamiliar。　I　stared　through　it　to　Renesmee's　expectant　expression；　trying　to　understand　what　
was　happening；　struggling　desperately　to　hold　on　to　my　calm。　

Besides　being　shocking　and　unfamiliar；　the　image　was　also　wrong　somehow—I　almost　recognized　my　
own　face　in　it；　my　old　face；　but　it　was　off；　backward。　I　grasped　quickly　that　I　was　seeing　my　face　as　
others　saw　it；　rather　than　flipped　in　a　reflection。　

My　memory　face　was　twisted；　ravaged；　covered　in　sweat　and　blood。　Despite　this；　my　express