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my name is red-厘議兆忖出碕-及24何蛍
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��
from my hand。 As I always did�察�I left him alone to read the letter and satisfy his
curiosity。 He soon raised his head from the page。
^Isn¨t there anything else�拭院�he said。 He knew there was nothing else。 ^This
is a brief note�察院�he said and read
Black Effendi�察 �you pay visits to our home�察 �and spend your days here。 Yet I¨ve
heard that you haven¨t written even a single line of my father¨s book。 Don¨t get
your hopes up without first pleting that manuscript。
Letter in hand�察�he glared accusingly into my eyes�察�as if all this was my fault。
I¨m not fond of these silences in this house。
^There¨s no longer any word of her being married�察 �of her husband
returning from the front�察院�he said。 ^Why�拭院�
^How should I know why�拭院�I said。 ^I¨m not the one who writes the letters。 ̄
144
^Sometimes I wonder even about that�察院 �he said�察 �handing back the letter
along with fifteen silver。
^Some men grow stingier the more they earn。 You¨re not that way�察院�I said。
There was such an enchanting�察�intelligent side to this man that despite all
his dark and evil traits�察�one could see why Shekure would still accept his letters。
^What is this book of Shekure¨s father�拭院�
^You know� �Our Sultan is funding the whole project they say。 ̄
^Miniaturists are murdering each other over the pictures in that book�察院�he
said。 ^Is it for the money or!God forbid!because the book desecrates our
religion�拭�They say one glance at its pages is enough to bring on blindness。 ̄
He said all this�察�smiling in such a way that I knew I shouldn¨t take any of it
seriously。 Even if it were a matter to take to heart�察�at the very least�察�there was
nothing for him to take seriously about me taking the matter seriously。 Like
many of the men who depended on my services as a letter courier and
mediator�察�Hasan lashed out at me when his pride was hurt。 I�察�as part of my
job�察�pretended to be upset to hearten him。 Maidens�察�on the contrary�察�hugged
me and cried when their feelings were hurt。
^You¨re an intelligent woman�察院 �said Hasan in order to soothe my pride�察�
which he believed he¨d injured。 ^Deliver this posthaste。 I¨m curious about that
fool¨s response。 ̄
For a moment�察�I felt like saying�察 �Black is not so foolish。 ̄ In such situations�察�
making rival suitors jealous of each other will earn Esther the matchmaker
more money。 But I was afraid he¨d have a sudden tantrum。
^You know the Tatar beggar at the end of the street�拭院 �I said。 ^He¨s very
vulgar�察�that one。 ̄
To avoid getting into it with the blind man�察�I walked down the other end of
the street and thus happened to pass through the Chicken Market early in the
morning。 Why don¨t Muslims eat the heads and feet of chickens�拭 �Because
they¨re so strange� �My grandmother�察�may she rest in peace�察�would tell me how
chicken feet were so inexpensive when her family arrived here from Portugal
that she¨d boil them for food。
At Kemeraral��k�察 �I saw a woman on horseback with her slaves�察 �sitting bolt
upright like a man。 She was proud as proud could be�察 �maybe the wife of a
pasha or his rich daughter。 I sighed。 If Shekure¨s father hadn¨t been so
absentmindedly devoted to books�察 �if her husband had returned from the
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Safavid war with his plunder�察�Shekure might¨ve lived like this haughty woman。
More than anyone�察�she deserved it。
When I turned onto Black¨s street�察�my heart quickened。 Did I want Shekure
to marry this man�拭 �I¨ve succeeded both in keeping Shekure involved with
Hasan and�察 �at the same time�察 �in keeping them apart。 But what about this
Black�拭 �He seems to have both feet on the ground in all respects except with
regard to his love for Shekure。
^Clothierrrrr� 院�
There¨s nothing I¨d trade for the pleasure of delivering letters to lovers
addled by loneliness or the lack of wife or husband。 Even if they¨re certain of
receiving the worst news�察�when they¨re about to read the letter�察�a shudder of
hope overes them。
By not mentioning anything about her husband¨s return�察 �by tying her
warning ^Don¨t get your hopes up ̄ to one condition alone�察�Shekure had�察�of
course�察�given Black more than just cause to be hopeful。 With great pleasure�察�I
watched him read the letter。 He was so happy he was distraught�察�afraid even。
When he withdrew to write his response�察�I�察�being a sensible clothes peddler�察�
spread open my decoy ^delivery ̄ satchel and withdrew from it a dark money
purse�察�which I attempted to sell to Black¨s nosy landlady。
^This is made of the best Persian velvet�察院�I said。
^My son died at war in Persia�察院�she said。 ^Whose letters do you deliver to
Black�拭院�
I could read from her face that she was making plans to set up her own
wiry daughter�察 �or who knows whose daughter�察 �with lionhearted Black。 ^No
one¨s�察院 �I said。 ^A poor relative of his who¨s on his deathbed in the
Bayrampasha sickhouse and needs money。 ̄
^Oh my�察院�she said�察�unconvinced�察 �who is the unfortunate man�拭院�
^How did your son die in the war�拭院�I asked stubbornly。
We began to glare at each other with hostility。 She was a widow and all
alone。 Her life must¨ve been quite difficult。 If you ever happen to bee a
clothier´cum´messenger like Esther�察�you¨ll soon learn that only wealth�察�might
and legendary romances stir people¨s curiosity。 Everything else is but worry�察�
separation�察�jealousy�察�loneliness�察�enmity�察�tears�察�gossip and never´ending poverty。
Such things never change�察�just like the objects that furnish a home�此�a faded old
kilim�察 �a ladle and small copper pan resting on an empty baking sheet�察 �tongs
and an ash box resting beside the stove�察 �two worn chests!one small�察 �one
146
large!a turban stand maintained to conceal the widow¨s solitary life and an
old sword to scare thieves off。
Black hastily returned with his money purse。 ^Clothier woman�察院 �he said�察�
making himself heard to the meddling landlady rather than myself。 ^Take this
and bring it to our suffering patient。 If he has any response for me�察 �I¨ll be
waiting。 You can find me at Master Enishte¨s house�察�where I¨ll spend the rest
of the day。 ̄
There¨s no need for all of these games。 No cause for a young brave´heart like
Black to hide his amatory maneuvers�察�the signals he receives�察�the handkerchiefs
and letters he sends in pursuit of a maiden。 Or does he truly have his eye on
his landlady¨s daughter�拭�At times�察�I didn¨t trust Black at all and was afraid that
he was deceiving Shekure terribly。 How is it that�察�despite spending his entire
day with Shekure in the same house�察�he¨s incapable of giving her a sign�拭�
Once I was outside�察�I opened the purse。 It contained twelve silver coins and
a letter。 I was so curious about the letter that I nearly ran to Hasan。 Vegetable´
sellers had spread out cabbage�察�carrots and the rest in front of their shops。 But
I didn¨t even have it in me to touch the plump leeks that were crying out to
me to fondle them。
I turned onto the side street�察�and saw that the blind Tatar was there waiting
to heckle me again。 ^Tuh�察院�I spat in his direction�察�that was all。 Why doesn¨t this
biting cold freeze these vagrants to death�拭�
As Hasan silently read the letter�察 �I could barely maintain my patience。
Finally�察�unable to restrain myself�察�I suddenly said ^Yes�拭院�and he began reading
aloud�此�
My Dearest Shekure�察 �you¨ve requested that I plete your father¨s book。 You
can be certain that I have no other goal。 I visit your house for this reason�察�not to
pester you�察�as you¨d earlier indicated。 I¨m quite aware that my love for you is my
own concern。 Yet�察 �due to this love�察 �I¨m unable properly to take up my pen and
write what your father!my dear Uncle!has requested for his book。 Whenever I
sense your presence in the house�察�I seize up and am of no service to your father。 I¨ve
mulled this over extensively and there can be but one cause�此�After twelve years�察�I¨ve
seen your face only once�察�when you showed yourself at the window。 Now�察�I quite
fear losing that vision。 If I could once more see you close´up�察�I¨d have no fear of
losing you�察�and I could easily finish your father¨s book。 Yesterday�察�Shevket brought
me to the abandoned house of the Hanged Jew。 No one will see us there。 Today�察�at
147
whatever time you see fit�察 �I¨ll go there and wait for you。 Yesterday�察 �Shevket
mentioned that you dreamt your husband had died。
Hasan read the letter mockingly�察�in places raising his already high´pitched
voice even higher like a woman¨s�察 �and in places�察 �emulating the trembling
supplication of a lover who¨d lost all reason。 He made light of Black¨s having
written his wish ^to see you just once ̄ in Persian。 He added�察 �As soon as Black
saw that Shekure had given him some hope�察 �he quickly began to negotiate。
Such haggling isn¨t something a genuine lover would resort to。 ̄
^He¨s genuinely in love with Shekure�察院�I said naively。
^This ment proves that you¨ve taken Black¨s side�察院�he said。 ^If Shekure
has written that she dreamt my older brother was dead�察�it means she accepts
her husband¨s death。 ̄
^That was just a dream�察院�I said like an idiot。
^I know how smart and cunning Shevket is。 We lived together for many
years� �Without his mother¨s permission and prodding�察�he¨d never have taken
Black to the house of the Hanged Jew。 If Shekure thinks she¨s through with my
older brother!with us!she¨s terribly mistaken� �My older brother is still alive
and he¨ll return from the war。 ̄
Before he had a chance to conclude�察�he went into the next room where he
intended to light a candle�察�but succeeded only in burning his hand。 He let out
a howl。 All the while licking the burn�察 �he finally lit the candle and placed it
beside a folding worktable。 He produced a reed pen from its case�察 �dipped it
into an inkwell and began furiously writing on a small piece of paper。 I sensed
his pleasure at my watching him�察 �and to show that I wasn¨t afraid�察 �I smiled
exaggeratedly。
^Who is this Hanged Jew�察�you must know�拭院�he asked。
^Just beyond these houses there¨s a yellow one。 They say that Moshe
Hamon�察�the beloved doctor of the previous Sultan and the wealthiest of men�察�
had for years hidden his Jewish mistress from Amasya and her brother there。
Years ago in Amasya�察�on the eve of Passover�察�when a Greek youth supposedly
 ̄disappeared` in the Jeed that he¨d been strangled
so unleavened bread could be made from his blood。 When false witnesses were
brought forward�察 �an execution of Jews began�察 �however�察 �the Sultan¨s beloved
doctor helped this beautiful woman and her brother escape�察 �and hid them
with the permission of the Sultan。 After the Sultan died�察�His enemies couldn¨t
148
find the beautiful woman�察 �but they hanged her brother�察 �who¨d been living
alone。^
^If Shekure doesn¨t wait for my brother to e back from the front�察�they¨ll
punish her�察院�said Hasan�察�handing me the letters。
No anger or wrath could be seen on his face�察 �just the misfortune and
sorrow particular to the love´stricken。 I suddenly saw in his eyes how fast love
had aged him。 The money he¨d begun to earn working in customs hadn¨t
made him more youthful at all。 After all his offended grimaces and threats�察�it
dawned on me that he might once again ask me how Shekure could be won
over。 But he¨d e so close to being thoroughly evil that he could no
longer ask。 Once one accepts evil!and rejection in love is a significant cause
for doing so!cruelty folloe afraid of my thoughts and that
terrible red sword the boys talked about�察�which severed whatever it touched�察�
in my desperation to leave�察�in a near frenzy�察�I stumbled outside onto the street。
This was how I fell unwitting victim to the curses of the Tatar beggar。 But I
immediately pulled myself together。 I softly dropped a small stone I¨d picked
off the ground into his handkerchief and said�察 �There you go�察�mangy Tatar。 ̄
Without laughing�察 �I watched his hand reach hopefully for the stone he
thought was a coin。 Ignoring his curses�察 �I headed toward one of my
^daughters�察院�whom I¨d married off to a good husband。
That sweet ^daughter ̄ of mine served me a piece of spinach pie�察�a leftover�察�
but still crisp。 For the afternoon meal she was preparing lamb stew in a sauce
heavy with beaten eggs and spiced with sour plum�察�just the way I like it。 So as
not to disappoint her�察�I waited and ate two full ladles with fresh bread。 She¨d
also made a nice pote of stewed grapes。 Without any hesitation�察 �I
requested some rose´petal jam�察�a spoonful of which I stirred into the pote
before topping off my meal。 Afterward�察�I went on to deliver the letters to my
melancholy Shekure。
149
I�察�SHEKURE
I was in the midst of folding and putting away the clothes that had been
washed and hung out to dry yesterday when Hayriye announced Esther had
e´or�察�this was what I planned to tell you。 But why should I lie�拭�All right
then�察�when Esther arrived�察�I was spying on my father and Black through the
closet peephole�察�impatiently waiting for the letters from Black and Hasan�察�and
thus�察 �my mind was preoccupied with her。 Just as I sensed that my father¨s
fears of death were justified�察�I also knew Black¨s interest in me wasn¨t eternal。
He was in love insofar as he wanted to be married�察�and because he wanted to
be married�察�he easily fell in love。 If not me�察�he¨d love。 If not me�察�he¨d marry
another�察�taking care to fall in love with her beforehand。
In the kitchen�察 �Hayriye sat Esther in a corner and handed her a glass of
rosewater sherbet�察 �as she gave me a guilty look。 I realized that since Hayriye
had bee my father¨s mistress�察 �she might be reporting to him everything
she sees。 I¨m afraid that this may indeed be the case。
^My black´eyed girl�察 �my dark´fortuned beauty�察 �my stunning beauty of
beauties�察�I was delayed because Nesim�察�my pig of a husband�察�kept me occupied
with all sorts of nonsense�察院 �said Esther。 ^You have no husband senselessly
haranguing you�察�and I hope you know the value of this。 ̄
She took out the letters�察�I snatched them from her hand。 Hayriye withdrew
to a corner where she wouldn¨t be in the way�察�but could still hear everything
that passed between us。 So Esther wouldn¨t be able to see my expression�察 �I
turned my back on her and read Black¨s letter first。 When I thought about the
house of the Hanged Jew�察 �I shuddered for a moment。 ^Don¨t be afraid�察�
Shekure�察�you can manage in any situation�察院�I said to myself and began reading
Hasan¨s letter。 He was on the verge of madness�此�
Shekure�察�I¨m burning with desire�察�yet I know
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
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